tomasxhertl
tomasxhertl
in a constant state of hockey related stress.
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Christine. 25. She/Her.   San Jose Sharks and other things.
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tomasxhertl · 1 month ago
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outside of just how sad this is from the human side it’s also the end of an era 😔 almost every player from the teams i grew up watching are gone (pickles is forever) and it’s very bittersweet idk. i always go back to pav’s quote where he was like “we never thought it wasn’t going to happen for us” and wasn’t that rly how we all felt? year after year, team after playoff team. i wish he got the chance to chase it again w this new group but mostly i wish he got to quit on his own terms.
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tomasxhertl · 1 month ago
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logan couture postseason celly appreciation
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tomasxhertl · 1 month ago
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This is so cute
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tomasxhertl · 1 month ago
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pregame kicks with will & mack!
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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via patrickmarleau.12 on insta
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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updated 🙂‍↕️
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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toff saying “look at our two goal scorers in the shootout” when asked abt the future
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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In honor of that bruins player taking a nutshot, please enjoy Randy and Drew being considerably less diplomatic about nutshots many many years ago
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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Macklin Celebrini and Will Smith Hockey committing crimes against Sharkie
Bonus image: reviewing the evidence
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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The Creation of Eklund
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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toff's recap of the sleepover (a transcript from the never offside podcast):
*disclaimer: I haven't listened to the podcast long enough to reliably tell cat and julie's voices apart yet, so I might make mistakes related to who says what
cat: "I would say during such a stressful week - trade week, especially - on your team, this was a good moment, right? a good feel-good moment."
toff: "I mean, it was a little easier this year, not to - well, knowing I wasn't gonna get moved."
julie: "I was gonna ask you - just sitting back, did it feel just a little bit nicer to know, like, 'I'm not going anywhere.'"
toff: "yeah. it kinda sucked, though, because obviously a bunch of my teammates ended up getting moved. but, um...so it was kind of funny. I was kind of giving them the advice of, 'oh, uh, you know, just try and relax...just got to sleep...just do all these things.' and they're like, 'you know that it's not that easy.' and I'm like, 'ah, yeah. you're right.'"
cat: "so, leading up to this - the trade deadline - the picture went viral of you on the rollaway bed on the road, sleeping with will smith and macklin celebrini."
toff: "as soon as I posted the photo, too, I knew it was gonna go viral. especially because the amount of attention that the two of 'em get. so, uh, we were - I was actually - we were in colorado, and I was in the hot tub with will, and I was like, 'alright...it's time to post this.' it's kinda like - I don't know if you saw their tiktok? they did a basketball tiktok during christmas I think. and I remember just, like, waking up one day, and it was extremely viral. so I was kind of assuming it would be something like that."
cat: "run back the entire story. so when you texted me, I didn't believe you."
toff: [laugh] "so, we were on the - uh, the bus from toronto to buffalo, 'cause we were playing a back-to-back, so we ended up bussing instead of flying, 'cause it was quicker. and, uh, I can't remember - I think I was talking to will about golf or something like that, and I went to the front of the bus. he was, like, laughing, and whatever - just like talking - and then all of a sudden he's - out of nowhere, too - he's like, 'alright. if all three of us score tomorrow, you're sleeping over.'
"and I'm like, 'will, I'm not - I'm not sleeping over. like, I'm 32 years old. that doesn't happen anymore.'
"and he's like, 'no, it's gonna happen. I feel it. you know, I feel that we're all gonna score a goal. blah, blah, blah.'
"long story short, we ended up playing really well in buffalo. and I had the - I scored the empty net goal, whatever, with like thirty, forty seconds left, whatever it was, from our end. as soon as it went in, I went to the - I went to the bench, and I was laughing. I didn't even realize that all three of us scored. and he's like, 'sleepover! sleepover!'
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"and I'm like, 'what do you - what are you talking about? it's not happening.'
"and then I'm getting on the plane after the game, and my coach came up to me. and he's like, 'you know you have to - you have to, you know, sleep over? you know that, right?'
"and I'm like, 'oh, god, here we go.' so. it was funny."
julie: "so you didn't think about missing the empty net on purpose? so you could just get a good night's sleep?"
toff: "I should've - honestly? if I had thought of it a bit, I would have passed it. I would have passed it. just 'cause they would've been so mad about it."
[laughs]
julie: "well, the world is glad - we're glad you didn't. it was the best thing on the internet all day. like, I showed - I flipped the phone to jeff right away when I saw, and he bust out laughing. he's like, 'that is the most - that's the best thing ever.'"
cat: "it's so funny, because on the bench they were freaking out. so it's funny that that's what will was screaming at you."
toff: "it was - yeah, it was ridiculous. and you know what? it was actually so much fun. and, um. I mean - just 'cause, I mean, the relationship I have with those two, just in general, is really good. I mean, cat knows - will facetimes me like every other day, just to talk. and, you know, I've golfed with him a few times. stuff like that. so, um - so it was funny, you know. we were just, like, talking about random things, and - I don't even know if I told cat this, but, uh, in the middle of the night - smitty's feet were pretty much, like, right in my face, and I didn't realize. but apparently I grabbed his toe in the middle of the night while he was sleeping. he, like, woke up, and he's just like, 'what the hell are you doing?' [laughs] and I don't even know. I have no clue. I'm assuming I, like, rolled over, and I just saw it. like - I don't know - I was still half-asleep, or fully asleep. but, um. yeah, he told me I grabbed his toe in the middle of the night, which is so random."
julie: "so weird."
cat: "alright, I have just - there's so many questions. the first one being: going with the toe-grabbing, uh...was there a snorer? is there anybody snoring?"
toff: "yeah! so, we were literally - we were talking, and I can't remember who it - it was late, 'cause we got in to colorado late. and I wanna say it was like 3 or 4, something like that. and all of a sudden - literally all three of us were talking - and all of a sudden, um, will rolled over, and he was asleep. in like five seconds. I'm not even exaggerating. and he was just - so, yeah, he was out, and the only reason why I knew is 'cause he started snoring a little bit. I can't - in the middle of the night, I don't think I heard anything else. but just - that was, like, the weirdest part - of how we were literally full conversation and all of a sudden he - dude was asleep. and I'm like, 'wait, what just happened?'
"and mack started dying laughing. he was like, 'yeah, this is just what he does, you know.'"
cat: "and that was the other question, is that I think I was shocked that they share a room, because I didn't think that was, like, a thing anymore...but then you remind yourself that they're eighteen years old. and, like, that makes sense. I'd want to have a roommate too on the road."
toff: "I think they need each other. like, they - they need each other. it's one of those - it's like -"
cat: "like, the panic of - ?"
toff: "yeah, like every - like, they come down for breakfast together. they literally - they're honestly together all the time. and even here in san jose, they - uhm...they obviously live with thornton and marleau, and I'm pretty sure their houses are like five minutes away from each other. so they hang out. and when they're not hanging out, they're facetiming each other. um. just, like, I mean, it's funny.
"they're eighteen and nineteen years old, and, just having the best time playing in the nhl."
cat: "he text me that he's gotta sleepover. I don't believe him. you guys stayed up pretty late, so I didn't know that he actually physically slept in the room. so I wake up to a facetime from in that room. and that is how I found out - and I was just like, 'hey, guys.' just, like, the weirdest way to wake up."
toff: "it was also really - zetterlund was, uh, on the same floor, and for whatever reason, I'm like, 'ah, I wanna be on the same floor as them. so it's just easier in case I wanna get up in the middle of the night and go to my room."
julie: "if you can't take it anymore."
toff: "and the room was literally right next door, so - in the morning, will woke up - we had the day off, so will woke up and went and met up with his buddy. and so I woke up, and I'm like, 'alright, it's time for me to get out of this roller bed. my back is in one.' so I have to get into a normal-sized, normal bed. so I go and get into my bed in my room, and then, like, five minutes later - smitty's like, 'alright, we gotta go in the hot tub. come to the hot tub.'
"and I'm like, 'can you, like, let me just relax? like, it's my off day. feels like I'm doing more than my regular day. so.'"
cat: "apparently - ty told me they were all just giggling in the hot tub. and the coach was, what, in the gym, you said?"
toff: "he was in the gym. so, it was - the hot tub and the pool, and we - we get in the pool, and I'm, like, throwing smitty around. and all of a sudden, uh, he - he turns and looks in the window. our coach is running on the treadmill. I'm like, 'oh my god, this is so pathetic. this is so ridiculous.'"
julie: "this literally sounds like if you were around my little boys right now. how you tossed him."
toff: "literally, exactly. it's the exact same thing. like, I literally, like - I like choke-slammed him, and then he, like grabbed me, and was, like, on my back - and I'm like, he's literally like the little brother I never had."
cat: "I died thinking of his coach's front row view watching them."
toff: "so ridiculous."
julie: "you know what? I love this. so, okay, back to it - the question was: who took the picture?"
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toff: "so - so we - there actually were a few guys that came in the room. so it wasn't just us the entire night. um."
cat: "you three giggling?"
toff: "yeah, not just us three. it was -"
julie: "-wearing what looked to be matching sweatshirts?"
toff: [laughs] "and the glass of milk that everyone's so intrigued by."
cat: "don't worry, that's coming up next. the question's coming up."
toff: "so, it ended up - mario ferraro was in the room. and I was like, 'you know what, mar? this would be actually so funny, if you take this.' and I wasn't gonna, like, put it on instagram. I don't normally do stuff like that. so I was like, this literally - I'm just gonna send it to cat, and, like, whatever. and - I think - I don't know if I did send it to you that night or if I sent it in the morning. but, uh."
cat: "no, I woke up to the facetime, and then the photo came in a couple groupchats."
toff: "oh, yeah. so funny."
cat: "mario took it, you said?"
toff: "yeah, mar took it. mar took it."
julie: "okay, I was like, 'cat, don't tell me, 'cause I wanna hear ty's answer...but please, if it was self-timer, I would die.'"
toff: "imagine me self timing - I couldn't even - I don't even know how to do that, so."
julie: "I wouldn't died. those young kids know how, that's for sure."
toff: "for sure. for sure."
cat: "it kind of looks like a self-timed photo, to be honest. it's like a little out of focus."
julie: "it was so good. I just love that. and I feel like I sat there - and jeff and I were talking - and I was like, 'this is what makes hockey so special. there's all these wholesome moments that still happen within this league.' and, I mean, I don't know, I'm not in other professional leagues, and y'all could speak to it because you have baseball friends, football friends. but I just feel like hockey is different in the fact that everybody, like - nobody takes anything too seriously. and there are these young moments, like, you know - for them to think about this bet. it's so clever and fun and innocent."
cat: "boys being boys?"
julie: "yeah."
toff: "yeah, I mean, it's - it - for our season in particular, too. it hasn't, obviously, gone very well; we're not winning as many games as we want, and, um - that road trip, it was just a good road trip. we were playing well and, um...we were scoring a lot of goals. and just - it was just, like, funny, and natural, and it was just a good time. you know. so, it's - it's fun."
cat: "I'm really glad you posted it, just because - as we said - it's a stressful time, trade week, whatever - and the sharks, you know, they're not first place. so it was nice for you to kind of show that the vibes are actually really great, and you love your teammates."
toff: "yeah, I mean, I've said it a million times. I honestly think that if we were in first place, we would be having, like, way too much fun. like, it would just be ridiculous. like - that's how this group kind of feels. and, um...you know, we still come to the rink and work every day and try to get better, and I think that's honestly what's making us even closer. 'cause we all understand that we want to be winning games and, um - I think that's just the best part of us still being able to have so much fun, like, together."
julie: "okay, hockey aside - the glass of milk. talk about it."
toff: [takes a breath] "okay, so - well, they ordered cookies. I guess - from what I understand - they order milk and cookies - [laughs] - every night. so, they're like, they kept trying to get me to have some. and I'm like - it's just, like, four in the morning, I'm so tired. like, I don't even wanna be talking anymore. and I just, like, hear them chewing on the cookies and then - I mean, that was literally, like - we had multiple people texting us, being like, 'alright, like, did they actually drink the milk?' and, I mean, I'm pretty sure - no, there's no way he would have drank it in the morning - but, uh..."
julie: "I hope not."
toff: "one of 'em - one of 'em drank theirs. I don't know who...."
julie: "they might have just been, too - you know, the dipping...."
toff: "the dipping is the best part."
julie: "yeah. jeff petry was a - "
toff: "I mean, I'm pretty sure the lights were off."
julie: "- milk and cookies guy on the road. now in his later years, he knows he can't do that, with all the sugar."
toff: "goes to the love handles." [laughs]
julie: "exactly. well, I think, like you said - this whole giving light to y'all's relationship - and you and cat together, you're like the big sister - like, the parents on the team. you guys are taking care of the kids. which makes me l-o-l, because, you know, you guys are just - you're the ones keeping me and jeff young, always getting us to go out and do all the things. but I think it's just keeping these young guys having fun in a pressured situation that, you know - it's not always going to be roses and winning and things like that. so for you guys to take on that leadership is really cool to see. and I heard a little rumor that they might both live with y'all next year? is that actually a thing? like a sleepover?"
toff: "I think - I don't know if that's, like, a real thing. they also said, 'yeah, you know, cat just won't, like, live here, she'll live somewhere else, and we'll just move into the house.'
"and I'm like, 'okay, you guys can bring that up to her. like, I don't know how this is gonna work out.' of course, I'm sure I'm gonna get a talking-to about this at some point."
cat: "I might go on, just, like a permanent vacation, if that's the plan."
toff: "yeah. yeah."
julie: "all I'll say is cat, you better get per diem, so your grocery bill is covered. 'cause that's gonna be a lot of feeding to do."
cat: "well, ty keeps teasing me with this idea, because they keep teasing him with this idea. so I always thought it was a tease. but now after this damn bet, I'm like - " [laughs]
julie: "I feel like, cat, you travel enough that it's, like - you'll only be home every so often to be the mother hen to make sure they're not doing something completely stupid."
cat: "I have to do that, that's true."
toff: "I think they just don't want to pay rent again. they're too cheap. they're still on their entry-level deals. so they're trying to get out of paying rent. and then, uh, once they get their big tickets, I'll start taking a percentage of whatever they're cooking up."
julie: "I love it. well, you guys are just, like, the best people for the job. so I hope it happens, personally. I'm gonna be rooting for that."
cat: "we got a lot of people asking if you would ever do the sleepover again?"
toff: "I mean, I'll do the sleepover if one of us gets, like, a hat trick or something. if we all score again, then maybe. but, uh."
julie: "like, it should be a standing thing, I think."
cat: "maybe if you all score again, they have to pull two cots into your room."
toff: "well, so, originally they wanted to bring my mattress from my room and put it into their room. I'm like, 'guys, it's a -'"
cat: "pull the mattress?"
toff: "yeah. and it's, like, a california king. like, this thing's huge. and I'm like - will is literally trying to measure it with his hands, he's, like, measuring the mattress and then going to the door. and I'm like, 'dude. have you never done this?'
"and he actually tried to get another one, um, for delly to sleep over, too."
julie: "stop!"
toff: "uh, but when he called, the front desk was like, 'how many people are in that room?'
"and will's like, 'oh, no, it's just three. it's just three.' like, trying to backtrack.
"and I'm like, 'dude, you can't have fifteen people sleep in one room.' when that's what he wanted. he literally wanted, like, a full-on slumber party."
julie: "oh my god."
cat: "so will's the one that called downstairs?"
toff: "yeah."
cat: "and how did they react when they pulled the cot in the room and saw all you guys?"
toff: "they were like, 'oh, absolutely, have a great night, guys!' and I'm like, 'this is literally so embarrassing.' this is so embarrassing....
"but like, obviously, I mean - you guys know rollouts. my feet were hanging off of the end. and, like, I woke up in the middle of the night. my back was killing me. it was just ridiculous. so ridiculous."
julie: "well, I love it. I hope the sleepover trend continues on if all three of you score a goal. I think we should end with - this is like the question that most parents get asked about their kids: what is your favorite thing about each of them, will and macklin?"
toff: "uh...I think, for - for will in particular, he just, like - the energy - I mean, both their energy, it's gotta be both of it, like. the, um - every single day - and I've said it before about cole. I mean, you remember cole, every day he's just like, in a good mood. and it's the same with will especially. and once the two of them are together, they do outrageous things.
"um...on off days, our trainer will text me photos of them. and they play 'sting pong.' we have a ping pong table, and they play 'sting pong.' so, like, whoever loses, or whatever - they throw the ball up and they hit it as hard as they can. and they had, like, welts on their back one day. and my trainer's like, 'dude, you better come in and, like, take care of these guys.'
"and I'm like, 'I have - this is my off day. I'm in bed.'
"did I not show you the photo? like, it's just like full-on welts. and I saw it the next day, like, we went in and we practiced. and they still had bruises on their body from playing. and I'm like, 'you guys are idiots.'"
julie: "I love it. well, it sounds like they're, like, a ball of fun, and keeping you young."
toff: "yeah."
cat: "I feel like every day you come home with a story or two about them, so. it's pretty funny."
toff: "yeah, exactly."
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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why would we trade a pending rfa w back to back 20 goal seasons on the worst team in the league who was also best friends w one of the players we’re trying to keep for the long term FOR NOAH GREGOR
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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three guys who know they're about to have a post-win family sleepover!
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tomasxhertl · 2 months ago
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thank you cat toffoli for sharing the bet
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tomasxhertl · 3 months ago
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shrockey.jpg :(
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tomasxhertl · 3 months ago
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tomasxhertl · 3 months ago
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