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tonellivision · 3 months ago

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rule three

authors note: this is my first story, so have some grace for my terrible writing. This is not based on my life, BUT i am a camp counsellor, so this is what I got the idea from.

setting: canadian cottage country

pairing: kimi antonelli x fem!reader

warnings: flirting, angst, slow-burn, fluff, reader is canadian (this doesn't matter to the plot), very light swearing, angry confession, death threats? (it's a joke), not proofread

word count: 10.3k (my bad)

summary: y/n has three rules to survive living at camp for a summer, and they work pretty well considering she has been going back for the last 4 years. the rules are simple: have fun, do not get caught up in drama and most importantly, do not fall for someone at camp. but what happens when she meets a boy that could make her break the most important of the three.

rules were great.

my rules made sure my camp life wasn't complete crap.

my rules had made sure that my second, third and fourth summers working at camp went perfectly, and i was sure they were going to make sure i had another wonderful year.

they were very simple:

have fun

don't get involved in drama

DO NOT fall for someone at camp

– june 22nd –

i had been driving on the back roads for nearly an hour after exiting the highway, on which i had also been driving on for several hours before. now, i was surrounded by trees, my arm sat on the open window, noah kahan playing through the speaker of my crv. my car was packed full of everything i’d need for the summer, my exams had finished a couple weeks before, i had graduated a few days after that and now, I was going to my favourite place on earth. life was good. as i drove, i passed familiar mail boxes, towering maples, and gravel driveways. soon, i saw the rustic sign which displayed the camp's name in big bold letters which made me smile softly, knowing i was nearly at my home away from home.

i turned down the dirt road and drove even further into the woods. i knew there was a large lake through the trees ahead (simply because i had lived here for 4 summers), but the trees were so dense, i couldn’t see anything. rays of sunshine shone through the thick ceiling of leaves, keeping my car in the shade haphazardly.

i adored my job as a camp counsellor. if i didn’t, i wouldn’t be coming back. i adored pouring into the kids lives over the summer, bonding with them, making bracelets, swimming, sitting by the bond fire. sure, the pay was ass and my sleep schedule was never healthy but there were pros and cons to every job.

as i pulled into the main clearing, i could already see the other staff bustling about. there were a lot of returnees but i saw a few new faces. i drove passed the dining hall, shouting a few “heys” and “hellos” to my friends out the window. most were dragging suitcases and other things they had brought from home down to the cabins, a cody, carter, heather and jenna (who must have already unpacked) were playing spikeball in the field, and luke, julia and a few others were just lounging on the hammocks chatting and catching up about their school year. i drove into my parking spot, which was really just an empty bit of grass by the edge of the woods, hopped out of my car, flipped my shades in front of my eyes and opened up my trunk to begin unloading everything.

although i had tried to pack as light as possible for the almost 10 weeks i’d be here, there was still a ton of stuff. one big suitcase, a laundry basket packed full of essentials i knew i'd need, my bedding, my guitar and a few extras. i huffed and decided to begin with the suitcase. I had just started to pull the suitcase out, when a voice came from behind me, making me jump and nearly drop it.

“need a hand?” the voice said. it was heavily accented, italian probably? i wasn’t sure. i turned and was greeted with probably the most attractive boy i had ever seen in my life. he had gorgeous curls and a charming smile and these soft brown eyes and- oh no. i cut off my thoughts and i quickly recovered, hoping my face hadn’t displayed the wave of fear that i washed over me when i realised there was, in fact, someone here that may cause me to break rule three. “i’m kimi, by the way”

“oh! that would actually be fantastic. i'm y/n” i said smiling and sticking out my hand, knowing that this boy would be my downfall.

— july 1st —

we had been at camp for over a week now. we spent the first week prepping, cleaning and training for when the kids arrived, so when they arrived on the 29th we were ready. we were three days into the first actual camp week, and things had been great. i had gotten assigned the twelve-to-thirteen-year-old girls, and they were awesome. super energetic, funny, but unfortunately, not blind.

they had seen me and kimi talking and obviously began teasing as soon as they realised. i had finally managed to calm their giggles and explain that coworkers do, in fact, have to speak to each other, and it is not a sign of me wanting him to be my boyfriend, but kimi decided he was going to have a staring problem.

the first few days, his eyes would drift to me. i could feel them on me, but i managed to keep my eyes away from his. not only did my campers notice kimis eyes, but even worse, HIS campers noticed. so now i had to not only deal with nine twelve-to-thirteen-year-old girls trying to get me to admit i liked kimi, but i also had to listen to another nine pre-teen boys screeching at kimi to “use his italian rizz to seduce her” (an: this is a direct quote i experience this summer, im being so fr rn).

aside from this whole fiasco, the week had been going great. i had already bonded pretty well with my campers, we had gone tubing, swimming, played capture the flag, all the stereotypical camp activities. and of course, today was canada day, so that meant bonfire, red and white themed snacks and fireworks.

the sun was just starting to dip behind the trees when we got to the bonfire. the air smelled like woodsmoke and bug spray, and the mosquitoes were already beginning their nightly war against everyones ankles. my campers had rushed off to grab s’mores supplies and claim the best log seats, shouting over each other about who could roast their marshmallow the best. i let them go. they were good kids. loud, chaotic, a little too observant for my liking, but good.

i took a seat at one of the logs at the back. quieter, in the dark away from the fire light, more peaceful. of course, the moment i pulled out my guitar, a handful of my girls immediately perched around me like ducklings, asking for me to play different songs.

i started strumming a song i was pretty sure none of them would know but i knew the other counsellors loved. death wish love was just something soft to keep their chaos level from climbing too high. i didn’t even get through half a verse before the whispers started.

“miss y/n, he’s staring again.” kiana whispered.

i didn’t look up. i didn’t have to. i already knew who “he” was. i could feel his gaze from across the firepit like it was physically leaning on me. perhaps that was a tad bit dramatic. but accurate.

“i’m sure he’s just zoning out,” i said, not looking up from my guitar. “there’s fire. it’s hypnotic.”

giggles. always with the giggles.

“yeah, sure, he’s zoning out into your soul,” layla sassed.

i sighed. deeply. “go toast your marshmallows before i make you clean the latrines tomorrow.”

that scattered them fast enough.

i continued quietly strumming and singing softly, hoping to seem far to busy to care about the boy across from me.

kimi was across the fire pit, sitting on a log with his boys, pretending to be engaged in whatever story one of them was telling about catching a frog or making a leaf boat, but he wasn’t slick. i could feel his eyes on me. again.

the first firework went off with a bang that made the younger campers squeal and the older ones cheer like it was a soccer game. i stopped playing, just resting the guitar on my lap, letting the kids get lost in the colours. it was quiet for a few seconds.

peaceful.

then someone sat down next to me.

i didn’t have to look to know who it was.

not peaceful.

“you’re good with them,” he said after a beat, voice low enough that only i could hear it.

i shrugged. “bribery and thinly veiled threats work wonders.”

he huffed a laugh.

“you have a pretty voice too,” he said. i felt the tips of my ears heat up.

i turned to look at him, but he wasn’t looking at me this time. he was staring straight ahead, his profile all soft angles and flickering shadows from the firelight. he looked calm. he looked—ugh. he looked good. so good.

“you're really bad at being subtle,” i muttered.

he smiled, barely. “maybe.”

we sat like that for a while. i should have moved. everything in my body said move. but i didn’t. i didn’t move away, and he didn’t either.

— july 15th —

wednesday was the counselors' first day off. a few of the kids’ parents had come up to visit for the day, taking them away from camp for little day trips and lakeside lunches, which meant one thing: blissful, precious silence. the directors took charge of the stragglers who hadn’t been picked up, and the rest of us got the green light to do whatever we wanted as long as we were back before curfew and didn’t, quote, "get arrested or start a forest fire."

so naturally, that’s how i found myself crammed into the old camp van with seven other half-sweaty, half-hyper counselors and one very worn-out air freshener dangling from the mirror. kimi was driving, which should’ve been illegal, honestly. not because he was bad at it—he was actually really good—but because there was something about him driving with one hand on the wheel, sunglasses on, window down, wind ruffling his curls, that made it really hard to remember how to form coherent thoughts.

i was in the middle seat, squished between julia and heather, trying very hard not to look at kimi in the rearview mirror. or out the window reflection. or literally anywhere near his direction. it was fine. totally fine.

carter was in shotgun when he spoke “town run? or beach first?”

“town,” jenna said immediately from the back. “we need snacks. and i need dry shampoo or i’ll actually die.”

“respectfully,” luke added next to her, “you already kind of look like a victorian ghost.”

jenna whacked him over the head with her empty gatorade bottle, and cody attempted to restrain luke, who had started trying to yank the bottle from jennas hands.

“honestly, why do we need campers when we already have you too,” i said, rolling my eyes playfully. kimi just grinned and turned the van toward the highway.

the town was tiny, one of those classic one-street, general-store-and-ice-cream kind of towns, but it was basically a major metropolitan city to us after being stuck in the woods for weeks. we pulled up to the general store called Buck n Wilsons General Store but the sign was missing the B and G so it was uck n Wilson eneral Store.

“okay, you’re with me,” julia said, dragging jenna and carter toward the toiletries aisle. cody and luke bee-lined for the cold drinks. heather disappeared without a word. wow. fantastic.

i lingered by the door, pretending to look at a rack of keychains but mostly just needing a second to reset from the body heat of the van.

“you coming, tesoro?”

i blinked. “sorry—what?”

i turned, halfway expecting i misheard him or he was talking to someone else. but no—there was kimi, holding a handbasket, giving me that stupid little smirk like he knew what he was doing.

“did you just—what?” i asked.

he tilted his head. “tesoro. you don’t know what that means?”

“should i…?.”

“it means… like… treasure, sweetheart, or something like that. i think that's the english equivalent”

i stared at him. he looked way too casual about the fact that he just casually called me sweetheart. in his native language. while standing next to a rack of beef jerky and car air fresheners. i felt my cheeks dust with colour.

“right,” i said slowly. “that’s… normal coworker talk.”

he grinned. his stupid grin. and i swear i felt my stomach do an actual backflip, which was dumb, because this wasn’t a rom-com and i wasn’t about to fall for the guy who’d just spent the last two weeks accidentally making my campers think i was secretly dating him.

we wandered down the candy aisle together. i kept my eyes very fixed on a display of sour peach rings, hoping my face would stop feeling like it was on fire. kimi noticed this too.

“you like these?” he asked, holding up the peach rings.

“julia does. she always eats any of the packs i bring back to camp.”

he raised an eyebrow. “didn’t ask that. i asked if you liked them.”

“… maybe.”

he tossed pack into my hand before i could stop him.

and yeah, maybe i did spend the next five minutes walking through the store like i was completely fine, like i wasn’t still thinking about that stupid word and the way he said it.

but i didn’t like him. i didn’t. i was not breaking rule 3.

i just needed a snack.

that’s all.

— july 23rd —

sneaking out after the campers were all asleep was a pretty common occurrence. the campers slept like the dead due to how much energy they spent throughout the day, so it was very easy thing to accomplish. were we good role models? absolutely not, but you know, we were still kids too.

i slipped out of my cabin and made my way down to the dock. the dock was my spot. it always has been. just far enough away from camp that i could breathe again, with the lake stretching out in front of me like a secret. i was already picturing myself sitting at the edge, toes dipped in the water, maybe humming a song under my breath—until i spotted someone already in my spot.

i paused, squinting.

a figure. hoodie. legs stretched out. confident posture.

of course.

i sighed, louder than i had meant to, and sure enough, he turned his head just slightly like he’d been waiting for that. even in the dark, i could feel the smirk on his face.

“you’re in my seat,” i said flatly, already considering turning back.

“oh no,” kimi said, stretching out a little more like he was making himself comfortable on purpose. “don’t tell me this whole dock belongs to you now.”

“it’s an unspoken rule,” i muttered. “everyone knows it.”

“funny,” he said. “i must’ve missed that part in training week.”

i hovered for a second, fully ready to turn and go sulk by the archery range or something, but then he said—

“wait. stay.”

i blinked. “why?”

“because i’d rather not sit out here alone like a weirdo. it’s less depressing if you’re here.”

“you are a weirdo,” i muttered, but didn’t move. he didn’t deny it—just patted the space beside him without looking at me. bold.

but i obliged. i sat next to him, letting my crocs graze the top of the water. we sat in silence. goodness, i hated it.

“so, what do you do?” i asked, breaking the silence.

“hmm?”

“like what are you going back to? after camp i mean? like school? a job?” i asked

he glanced over at me, a little grin playing on his lips. “i drive.”

i stared at him. “okay. vague.”

he shrugged. “it’s the truth.”

“like what—uber?”

he snorted. “no.”

“pizza delivery?”

“worse.”

i tilted my head. “then what?”

“formula one.”

i blinked. “like… racing? like… cars?”

kimi nodded, eyes fixed on the water like this was just some casual little hobby he was telling me about.

“formula one,” he repeated, like i didn’t hear him the first time.

i scoffed, a small smile playing on my lips. “you’re joking”

“i’m not.” he reassured me. “you can google it if you want”

“no, it’s okay, i believe you…” i said.

i mean, i knew formula one was a big deal—fast cars, european guys with accents, monaco and champagne or whatever. i wasn’t an expert or anything, but i’d heard of charles leclerc. and lewis hamilton. mostly because of cars 2 and tiktok,

i played it off though. i'm not sure why. maybe i just didn't want him to know that i knew it was a big deal.

“huh,” i said, trying to sound cool. chill. unbothered. “that’s… neat.”

he huffed a laugh. “neat?”

“i mean, it’s no camp counselor,” i said sarcastically, pulling my knees to my chest. “but sure.”

in the moonlight, i can see him smile.

we sat there for a while, the silence settling around us like an old friend. it was nice—too nice, almost. the kind of nice that made you want to close your eyes and just breathe, but that also made you wonder why the hell you felt so comfortable. he stretched beside me and let his fingers rest on mine. thank goodness for the darkness, because my cheeks were probably pink at this moment. but i didnt move my fingers. and he didn’t either.

“so,” kimi said, breaking the silence. “what about you? what’s your big plan after camp?”

i glanced over at him. “plan?”

“yeah, you’re training for something, right?”

“i’m training to be a medic,” i said, feeling the words roll off my tongue easily. “already finished half of my training, actually. graduated early. i was supposed to graduate next year, but i graduated this year.”

his eyebrow arched slightly. “graduated early?”

i shrugged, not really seeing what the big deal was. “yeah. but i don’t want to work in a hospital. that’s not my thing. i want to be an onsite medic, for places like camps, events, stuff like that.”

“not a fan of hospitals?” he asked, his voice softer now, more interested.

i shook my head. “hospitals are too… sterile? too much red tape. i’ve always liked the idea of being in the field, more hands-on. i’m already a trained lifeguard, so i know how to keep calm in high-pressure situations. but working in a hospital just feels… too boxed-in, you know?”

the quiet stretched again, but this time it felt different—comfortable. he wasn’t pushing, wasn’t trying to get too deep, but there was a warmth in his eyes like he actually cared about the answer. it was nice, but… maybe too nice. and that’s when he threw me off again.

“so,” he started, breaking the quiet. “do you have a boyfriend?”

i blinked, caught completely off guard. “what?”

“you know,” he said, leaning back a little, casually. “someone back home.”

my stomach dropped for a second, but i couldn’t let him see that. i let out a short laugh and looked away, trying to cover the sudden wave of unease. “no…why?”

“i don’t know,” he said, the smirk back in place. “just curious. you seem like someone who would have someone by now.”

i felt my face flush slightly, but i fought the heat creeping up my neck. “well, i’m not exactly looking for someone, and… people don't really pay attention to me.”

the awkward silence came back. what do you even say to follow up after that?

“so, you’re not staying in canada after the summer, then?” i asked, trying to sound casual, but something about the way i said it made my throat feel tight. it wasn’t like i wanted him to stay. it wasn’t like i was planning on visiting or something, but something about the idea of him leaving felt like it hit a little closer to home than i was willing to admit.

he paused, glancing at me sideways. “yeah. i’ve got pre-season training after summer, then the racing season starts in march.” he shrugged, his gaze drifting back to the water, the casual air about him making the words somehow sting more than i expected.

i tried to mask my disappointment with a quick, forced smile, but i wasn’t fooling anyone. least of all myself. "right," i said, staring at the ripples in the lake. "guess you’ve got a whole world to go back to."

it was stupid to feel anything about it, i told myself. i didn’t even like him. so why did it feel like a weight in my chest when i thought about him leaving?

kimi didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t say anything about it. we just sat there, side by side, both lost in our thoughts, the quiet stretching longer than before.

— july 27th —

it was dusk and the lake looked like glass, all soft purples and pinks reflecting off the water like someone had dropped a watercolor palette on the sky. today was another counsellor off day. we had a few volunteers come up to deal with the kids for the day while we took some time to ourselves. the air smelled like sunscreen and pine, and it was warm in that sticky, end-of-july kind of way where no one really bothered with towels anymore because you were just going to end up wet again anyway.

i was sitting cross-legged at the edge of the dock with heather and jenna, our legs dangling over the water, damp from earlier swimming and now slowly drying under the setting sun. we had lemonade in plastic cups and were trading gossip in low voices, like we were thirteen again at a sleepover.

“i’m just saying,” heather said, sipping dramatically, “if kimi stares at you any harder during breakfast, the table’s going to catch fire.”

“he’s not staring,” i muttered, picking at a bow on my swim top.

“he absolutely is,” jenna added. “he doesn’t even blink when you walk into the dining hall.”

“i think he just has one of those… intense faces,” i said, already hating how lame that sounded.

heather gave me a look. “babe. be serious.”

i shrugged. “it’s not like it means anything. he’s just flirty with everyone. that’s his thing.”

“right,” jenna said with a knowing smirk. “and you just happen to blush every time he talks to you because you’re allergic to compliments.”

“i’m not blushing right now,” i shot back.

“because he’s not here,” heather said.

i rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to argue—but i didn’t get the chance.

strong arms suddenly wrapped around my waist and i let out a shriek, my cup of lemonade launching into the air.

“what the—kimi!”

before i could protest any further, i was lifted completely off the dock.

“no, no, no—don’t you dare—!”

he started towards the end of the dock which made me shriek more, my arms went instinctively around his neck, holding on tight in the name of self-preservation.

“oh, now you want to be close to me?” he teased, walking us steadily toward the edge of the dock.

“you’re insane. put me down—gently.”

“i was going to,” he said innocently, “but then you started holding on like your life depended on it. can’t say i hate it.”

“you are impossible,” i hissed.

“i’ve been called worse.”

he then tried to throw me off, but this was made difficult because due to how i was clinging to him like a koala.

he huffed. and then, he didn’t throw me in.

he just… fell.

pulled us both down into the lake with one solid, dramatic step, like he couldn’t bear to let go of me either.

the water was shock-cold against the warm air, wrapping around us in a whoosh of bubbles and sunken laughter. i hadn’t realized how tightly i’d been holding onto him until we hit the water—and even then, i didn’t let go.

we hovered there under the surface, still tangled together, limbs brushing. i felt his hand steady on my back, the soft pressure of his chest against mine. he looked at me underwater, amused, and something warm stirred in my stomach.

then—light as a whisper—his mouth brushed the edge of my jaw. too soft to be on purpose. too lingering to be an accident.

i blinked at him through the water.

and then we broke the surface, gasping and laughing. i pushed my wet hair out of my face and splashed him.

“you’re ridiculous,” i said, half out of breath.

“you liked it,” he grinned, swimming backward, smug and soaked.

behind us, heather and jenna were howling with laughter, someone was already yelling, “called it!” and i dove under the water, swimming to shore, hoping to hide the heat rising in my cheeks.

pretended it didn’t mean anything.

pretended it wasn’t everything.

— august 1st —

breakfast at camp was always chaotic in a familiar, comforting way—wooden benches scraping against the floor, the smell of slightly-burnt toast, kids yelling over one another about what table got pancakes first. organized chaos.

i sat at my usual table with my girls, doing my best to mediate a very passionate debate about whether ketchup belonged on eggs (it did) while keeping an eye on the one camper who always tried to sneak a third juice box.

everything was normal. or at least it should’ve been.

until i felt it again.

the staring.

i didn’t have to look. i knew. kimi’s eyes drifted across the dining hall and landed on me like i was the only person eating breakfast in a room of a hundred. and for some reason, he still hadn’t figured out how not to make it obvious.

i took a sip of my lukewarm coffee, very purposely not looking in his direction. if i didn’t look, i could pretend it wasn’t happening. that was the game. denial was key.

but of course, his campers had zero interest in subtlety.

“broooo, stop looking at her!” one of his boys, landon, shrieked loud enough for half the room to hear, voice cracking halfway through.

i didn’t flinch. didn’t blink. just nodded along as one of my girls described a dream that featured a dinosaur, her dad, and tate mcrae.

“she’s not even at our table, man, focus on your oatmeal!” jake added.

i bit down on the inside of my cheek, eyes trained firmly on the center of my table, nodding like i was still deeply invested in a camper’s retelling of her dream from last night.

“i think he’s trying to use his italian rizz again,” noah whispered—but not really whispered—like the concept of volume was optional.

adam wacked noah's hat, which was backwards, off. “his italian rizz doesn’t work when he stares through her skull, bro. she’s not, like, telekenesis or whatever that mind-reading power is.”

“do you think it works better in another language?” levi asked.

“ciao bella, you wanna share a canoe?” landon mimicked, throwing on the worst italian accent i’d ever heard in my life. the entire table burst into laughter. i heard kimi mumble something that must have been some curse word.

i pressed my lips together and absolutely did not smile. nope. not even a twitch. i was focused. ketchup-on-eggs level of focused.

“ma che cavolo…” he groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose like this was a daily occurrence (it was). “i’m literally not even looking,” he muttered.

“you were literally staring,” noah said, dramatically rolling his eyes.

“no i’m not!” kimi snapped, voice cracking just slightly in a way that did nothing to help his case. “ragazzi! basta! just eat your cereal!”

“bro, he’s blushing!” jake yelled.

“dude, she’s gonna notice, and then you’ll have to move back to italy from embarrassment.”

“ask her out already! you’re so slow!”

kimi groaned again, sliding down in his seat like he wanted to disappear into the floor. “dio mio…”

and then—disaster struck.

one of his campers, matthew, a thirteen-year-old with absolutely no self-preservation instinct, shout across the hall, straight at my table, specifically at the girl directly across from me, “HEY LAYLA! ASK Y/N OUT FOR KIMI, HES SCARE-” he was cut off by kimi covering his mouth with his hand but the damage was already done.

my campers paused. then all hell broke loose. and it wasn’t even just our table. the sheer volume of the commotion had gotten the attention of all the other tables.

“i told you he was staring at her yesterday during canoe check-in!” another girl howled, slapping the table. “you didn’t believe me!”

“guys, guys—ask her if she’ll go on a date with him!”

“should we write it on a napkin?? pass it over like in class?!”

“NO,” I said firmly, but of course, my face betrayed me by turning an absolutely traitorous shade of red. “guys, eat your eggs.”

i refused to look over at kimi. i didn’t have to. i felt the heat coming off of him. the entire dining hall was vibrating, and there was no escape.

“EVERYBODY SHUT UP!” Landon yelled, spinning around and ordering like a tiny general. “SHE’S RIGHT THERE! SHE MIGHT HEAR! HAVE SOME RESPECT!”

i took a deep breath. calm. cool. professional. unbothered.

my campers, the lovely girls they were, quietly whispered, trying to keep it a secret, as if the entire dining hall wasn’t jittering, “so do you like him?”

“i don’t even know what you’re talking about,” i said, taking a very casual sip of my coffee.

then i choked on it.

because from across the room, kimi finally looked up, cheeks red, muttered something in italian that sounded vaguely like a prayer, and grinned at me.

I did not like him. i had rules to keep.

— august 6th —

it was almost 2:45 a.m. when the unmistakable sound of muffled giggles and the creak of cabin floorboards yanked me from my sleep.

at first, i thought one of the girls was sneaking off to the bathroom. but then came the second sound—quick footsteps just outside the door, followed by a suspiciously soft thunk.

i sat up, immediately suspicious.

then came more whispering. another thunk. a laugh—quickly shushed.

groaning, i dragged myself out of bed, still wrapped in my favourite hoodie and matching grey sweatpants, hair a mess and eyes barely open. i shoved my feet into my crocs and stumbled to the door with every intention of scaring off whatever little monsters were giggling outside.

i yanked the door open.

bad move.

WHOOSH.

a full bucket of freezing water dumped straight on my head.

everything stopped. my breath caught in my throat. cold soaked through every layer in an instant.

my hoodie clung to my arms like wet seaweed, and my sweatpants were sagging from the water weight. i stood there, stunned, dripping, homicidal.

slowly, i looked up at the porch roof. a bucket lay upside-down near the edge.

on the path, frozen mid-step, stood alex—kimi’s personal twelve-year-old goblin of a camper—eyes wide with horror.

“oh my—,” he whispered. “it wasn’t supposed to fall—”

i stepped off the porch like a ghost straight from a horror movie.

alex let out a strangled squeak and scrambled backward.

behind him, more campers peeked from behind trees and bushes, giggling—until they saw my face.

“abort mission!” landon hissed from the shadows.

“dude. fix it.”

jake shoved kimi forward like a peace offering. “flirt with her- grovel- i don’t know!”

kimi stumbled a little, catching his balance as he stepped between me and alex. he looked like he was about to say something clever—but then his eyes landed on me.

and lingered.

i peeled off my hoodie with an angry huff, wringing it out with both hands. my t-shirt underneath was soaked too, clinging to my body like a bodysuit.

kimi blinked once. then again. his eyes dropped before he caught himself and immediately snapped his gaze up and to the side, ears going red.

“wow,” he said, clearing his throat, “that shirt is—um—very… absorbent.”

i raised an eyebrow, arms crossing over my chest automatically, which only made his jaw tighten as he visibly forced himself to keep eye contact.

“okay,” he muttered, voice pitching awkwardly. “let me fix this.”

he pulled his hoodie off in one quick motion and stepped closer, holding it out to me like an offering to an angry deity. it was still warm, soft, and smelled like smoke, pine, and whatever stupid cologne he pretended was just “soap.”

“you think a hoodie’s gonna fix this?” i said flatly, still dripping.

“well… it’s one of my favourites,” he replied, trying to smile. “only the prettiest, scariest girl at camp gets to wear it.”

i stared at him.

“that’s you,” he added quickly. “just to be clear.”

i snatched it from him and tugged it over my head, shivering slightly as the warmth sank into my skin. his fingers brushed my arm as he helped untwist the sleeve, and i hated how nice it felt. how easy he was to like when he wasn’t being an agent of chaos.

“better?” he asked with a crooked smile.

“no.” but my voice cracked slightly from the cold.

“you know,” he said, still lingering a step too close, “i could make it up to you. a muffin? maybe your own hoodie? one that hasn’t been part of a war crime?”

i sighed.

“you’re lucky i’m too tired to commit actual murder.”

he grinned. “means i’ve got a shot.”

from the bushes, one of the kids whispered, “he’s winning.”

“GO TO BED,” i barked, and they scattered.

kimi stayed a second longer, shoving his hands into his pockets and looking at me like he wanted to say something else but didn’t know how.

“you gonna be warm enough?” he asked finally.

“i’m fine.”

“you sure? you’re not gonna slip in your crocs and drown in a puddle?”

i shot him a glare over my shoulder and turned back toward my cabin.

but i didn’t give the hoodie back.

and maybe—just maybe—i didn’t totally hate how warm it was.

— august 11th —

the woods were quieter than usual.

darkness was draping itself over the trees, the moonlight shining through certain bare spots in the woods, bugs hummed everywhere and nowhere at the same time, the air heavy summer humidity that made your shirt stick to your back by the time you'd gone five steps. kimi walked beside me, talking about some gossip his mom had updated him on from back home.

we were supposed to be looking for campers, tagging the ones hiding in the woods for the big camp-wide game so they’d have to run back to base and start over. “night watchers.” sounded dramatic. for me, it was a nice excuse to walk in the dark and pretend i wasn’t entirely aware of every time his hand brushed mine.

“i feel like we’re the villains of this game,” i said, scanning the trees. “just walking around, destroying dreams and catching kids in the act.”

“you say that like it’s not the best part,” kimi replied, his voice casual. he was twirling his flashlight in his hand like it was just an accessory, not something he was actually using. “we’re the final boss. very powerful.”

i rolled my eyes. “you and this power complex again.”

he smirked. “i’m just saying… the kids scream when they see me. that’s impact.”

“that’s trauma,” i corrected. “you’re lucky they’re not in therapy already.”

he laughed, and i glanced over at him—just a quick peek. of course, he was already looking at me. of course. his eyes crinkled a little when he smiled, and i hated that i noticed that. i also hated that i didn’t look away fast enough.

“you like being out here with me,” he said suddenly.

i blinked. “what?”

“you do,” he said, grinning wider now. “you always end up paired with me on these shifts.”

“yeah, well, the directors seem to think we work well together,” i stammered.

“mmm,” he hummed. “i’m sure that's the only reason.”

i kicked a rock off the path, face heating against my will. “don’t flatter yourself, antonelli.”

“too late,” he said with a shrug. “you like me.”

“i like not running,” i corrected. “this is the laziest job and you just happen to show up every time i’m assigned it. that’s all.”

“you’re flustered.”

“i’m not!”

he laughed, smug and just a little too close. i shoved his shoulder.

god, he was so annoying.

“you’re one to talk about flustered,” i said, straightening a little. “remember breakfast?”

that stopped him. “breakfast?”

“Oh, don’t pretend you forgot,” I said, turning to grin at him now, the confidence slowly crawling back into my voice. “You staring at me from across the dining hall like it was the most subtle thing in the world. Your campers screamed at you.”

Kimi groaned. “That was not my fault.”

“Uh-huh. Because you definitely didn’t have the world’s worst staring problem.”

“I did not have a—”

“‘Broooo, stop looking at her!’” I mimicked in my best high-pitched camper voice.

He buried his face in his hands for a second. “They’re demons.”

“‘He’s trying to use his Italian rizz again!’” I added dramatically.

He dropped his hands with a groan. “You’re evil.”

“I’m accurate.”

“You loved it.”

I opened my mouth to argue—but couldn’t. He caught that, too. Of course he did.

“See?” he said, nudging my shoulder with his. “You liked it.”

I scoffed. “Please. I had to explain what the word rizz meant to the directors.”

“I made you blush, didn’t I?”

“You made yourself blush.”

“No way,” he said. “You did first.”

I shook my head, but I could feel the color creeping into my cheeks again. I looked away.

He leaned in a little, not touching but closer now. “You're blushing right now, cara mia.”

I shoved his arm. “Stop calling me things I don’t understand!”

He just grinned. “Would you rather I translate it?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Kimi—”

“It means ‘my dear.’”

Oh.

I blinked at him, my mouth going dry. “That’s—why would you—”

“I told you,” he said, tilting his head with a faux-innocent shrug, “you like me.”

“I—” I choked on the word and shook my head fast. “You’re delusional.”

“You’re in denial.”

I sped up my pace to get away from the smugness radiating off of him, but he easily matched my steps, his grin only getting bigger.

“You so are.”

“I’m literally just here to tag campers,” I muttered. “This is my job.”

“And I’m just here for the game,” he said lightly.

I glanced sideways at him.

We both knew we were lying.

— august 21st —

i don’t know when it shifted.

maybe it was gradual—like water warming under a flame, slow enough that i didn’t notice until it was too hot to touch.

but it hit me all at once.

i was brushing sand off my legs after waterfront, still damp from swimming, and someone said his name—just in passing. a joke. something dumb about how he helped carry a canoe like it was nothing. everyone laughed. i smiled too, automatically. like muscle memory.

and then it hit me.

i like him.

not the heehee haha kind of like i had been telling myself it was. not the kind of like where you tell your friends he's hot and tease each other when he walks by. not a surface-level crush you nurse for fun during the summer and forget by september.

i actually like him.

i felt it like a wave slamming into my chest, all salt and pressure. i sat down on the edge of the dock like my knees gave out.

oh no.

i like the way he notices things. how he always grabs an extra juice box at breakfast because he knows i never get one.

i like the way his voice sounds when he says my name, even if i pretend not to notice.

i like the way he looks at me like i’m someone worth staring at.

and i hate that i like that.

because he’s leaving.

of course he’s leaving.

this is camp. summer. temporary. that’s the whole point.

and he’s not staying in canada.

he said it like it was nothing. just a fact. like saying he didn’t like olives.

i should’ve listened more closely when he said he wasn't staying.

he’s not even trying to stay.

he’s not mine.

he never was.

i pressed my hands to my face and groaned, low and quiet, like if i got the sound out of my chest it might take the feelings with it.

stupid. so stupid.

i don’t want this. i don’t want to care about someone who’s already halfway gone.

i don't want to be the girl who falls for the summer boy with the smile and the accent and the stupid curly hair.

i want to go back.

back to teasing him and pretending like none of it mattered.

back to not looking forward to night watcher shifts.

back to pretending i didn’t feel anything.

i have to kill this feeling. now.

so that’s the new plan.

i’ll avoid him. not in a dramatic, over-the-top way. just… enough. i won’t sit next to him. i won’t stay behind when he lingers after staff meetings. i won’t walk with him after curfew or laugh at his dumb one-liners or let my eyes meet his across the dining hall.

i’ll let it fade.

it has to fade.

because the alternative—

the alternative is letting myself fall harder for someone who’s already made it clear he’s not staying.

and i can’t do that.

not again. the rules were in place for a reason.

so no more late-night dock talks.

no more brush-of-the-shoulder, is-this-flirting or not moments.

no more getting soft because he says cara mia in a voice that makes my name feel different.

i’ll be fine.

i just have to forget i ever liked him in the first place.

Easy.

— August 25th —

camp was quiet in the strangest way.

the kind of quiet that felt wrong. no shouting across the field, no whistles, no splashing at the waterfront, no kids trying to convince me that brushing their teeth “technically” counted as showering.

just leftover tan lines, half-zipped duffel bags, and the smell of the last campfire still hanging in the air.

cleanup week was always a little depressing, but i didn’t mind the work. scrubbing out cabins, hauling lost and found bins, folding half-destroyed t-shirts into boxes for next year, it kept my hands busy.

which was good. because my head was a mess.

i hadn’t talked to kimi in three days.

not really.

sure, there had been a few hellos, a nod here and there. but nothing real. no quiet late-night conversations or casually bumping shoulders on the path.

because i was trying not to. on purpose.

it shouldn’t have mattered anymore. the campers were gone. camp was wrapping up. in a few days, we’d all be scattered—back to cities, universities, real life. he’d be back on a plane. probably already had a suitcase half-packed.

so why did it still ache when i saw him out of the corner of my eye?

why did i still know the exact sound of his laugh from across the dining hall when the staff was eating their leftover pizza and pretending they weren’t about to cry when they left this place?

i was elbow-deep in a plastic bin of sports equipment when i felt someone behind me. not footsteps—just the weight of presence.

i didn’t turn around.

but of course.

“did i do something?”

his voice was soft. careful.

i took my time adjusting the dodgeballs, hoping maybe he’d give up.

he didn’t.

“because if i did, i want to fix it,” he added. “but i feel like you’ve been—”

he paused, searching for the word.

“—distant.”

i forced a laugh, short and hollow. “i’ve been busy.”

“right,” he said, clearly not buying it. “busy avoiding me?”

i finally looked up. he was standing just a few feet away, hands shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, hair a little messy like he’d just taken off his hat. he looked… confused. and a little frustrated.

i shrugged. “it’s the end of the summer. everyone’s doing their own thing.”

“that’s not what this is,” he said, stepping closer. “come on. i know you.”

those words—i know you—they hit me right in the gut.

because he did.

i didn’t say anything. i just turned back to the bin and started aggressively re-rolling a soccer jersey that was never going to fold properly.

“you don’t even look at me anymore,” he said quietly. “did i say something wrong?”

“no.”

“then what is it?” he asked, more desperate now. “you were fine last week. and now you act like i’m… like i don’t even exist.”

i squeezed my eyes shut for a second and inhaled. big mistake. he smelled like lake water and camp laundry detergent. and that stupid cologne.

“i don’t want to do this right now,” i said, trying to keep my voice steady.

kimi stepped closer. “why not?”

“because you’re leaving,” i said sharply, finally turning to look at him, eyes hot. “okay? you’re not staying. and i don’t want to make things more complicated than they already are.”

he blinked, stunned silent for a moment.

i hadn’t meant to say it like that.

“i’m not asking you to make things complicated,” he said softly.

“no, but i made it complicated,” i shot back, trying to shove the lid on the bin. “and now i need to uncomplicate it.”

his eyes searched mine like he wanted to argue, but i didn’t let him. i grabbed the bin, hauled it to the storage closet, and didn’t look back.

i needed space. i needed logic. i needed a time machine to take me back before i let myself fall for the one person who was never going to stay. i needed to go back to when i started breaking rule 3 and slap some sense into her.

and most of all, i needed this summer to end.

before i did something stupid.

like ask him to stay.

— august 26th —

nine weeks. nine weeks of working with him. nine weeks of stupid jokes. nine weeks of our cabins pranking each other. nine weeks of him stealing my bug spray because he didn't bring any from italy. nine weeks of long talks at the fires after our campers had all gone to sleep. nine weeks of lingering touches. nine weeks of flirting. nine weeks of flustered sighs. nine weeks of teasing from campers. nine weeks of ignoring said teasing. nine weeks of the damn feelings not leaving, but not having enough willpower to distance myself from him.

i was back on the end of the dock, my toes dangling in the water, breathing in the fresh air. the lake was beautiful tonight. calm, reflecting the clear night sky. it was quiet, the only sounds coming from crickets in the woods and quiet laughter and voices from a fire across the little bay we were situated on. the other counsellors had all gone to sleep after the late night bonfire party we had to celebrate the end of the summer. i took in a deep breath, letting my hands run gently over the smooth wood of the dock. it was always bittersweet to leave camp, but this time was particularly bad.

i buried my head in my hands. gosh, i was so damn stupid. i had that feeling in my chest, like that tightness you have when you need to sob.

we only had two more days at camp until we went home. It had only been a day since our conversation. I hated ignoring kimi. i knew it bothered him. hell, it probably bothered me more. but i knew i had to detach from him before i went home. i needed to get rid of the feelings which had been bubbling up over the past nine weeks. i shouldn’t have let the feelings develop in the first place, but now, i was in a situation where every time i saw his face, the tips of my ears felt hot, i could feel the butterflies in my stomach and my heart began pounding ridiculously fast.

stolen glances, lingering touches, teasing, subtle flirting. what the hell was i thinking?

it could never work. Maybe if i had known that he was a formula one driver from the very beginning, i could have stopped myself from liking him. Why did he have to be a formula one race-car driver? and why did he have to be a damn good one too? Before him, i didn't know much about formula one, except for charles leclerc from the tiktok edits that popped up on my fyp and hamilton from cars, but he patiently and passionately explained it. I learn about the paddock, the pits, the other drivers. I knew things now. he'd be driving for mercedes this coming march, travelling around the world, probably getting with those drop dead gorgeous models who walked around the paddock.

maybe i let myself like him because at the time, i didn’t realise how impossible the situation was until it was too late.

maybe i let myself like him because i didn’t know he would be travelling for practically the entire year.

maybe i let myself like him because i thought maybe, just maybe, there's a chance this could work. but there wasn’t, and i was stupid for thinking otherwise.

i knew he was behind me before he spoke. kimi was a quiet walker, but you can’t silence the vibrations sent by your feet through a dock. i stayed silent though, not saying anything, not moving, silently praying he'd just leave.

“why are you ignoring me?” kimi’s voice cut through the silence. i breathed in softly and didn’t move, keeping my head forward, watching the moon's reflection in the still waters.

“i told you. i dont want to make things more complicated.” i said simply, trying to keep my voice steady but there was a subtle shake in the last few words. i could hear him huff in frustration before marching over and sitting next to me, letting the tips of his sandals dip in the water.

“y/n.” he said heatedly. angry? maybe. but there was something else there too. “look at me. What did i do?” he was pleading.

i looked at him. goodness, he was beautiful. everything about him made my heart beat quicker and i was forced to calm my breathing. “You did nothing, kimi. i’m fine.”

"no, somethings wrong,” he countered.

“kimi, there's nothin-” i began, but was quickly cut off.

“no, it's not nothing. suddenly you just don’t want to speak to me, look at me, or even be in the same room.” he shot back. he was angry, but i could still hear the pleading in his voice. he was hurt. i didn't want to hurt him, but i knew i couldn’t tell him why i had to.

“i don’t know, i’m just tired-” i mumbled feebly, turning away again, when i felt kimi’s hand grab mine, pulling my attention back to his face.

“no, you’re not. something else is going on. i’ve seen you tired, and you are never like this! you have never acted like this when you’re tired. i’m leaving in two days and you can’t even look at me!” he insisted. his voice had the shake mine did.

i didn’t answer and he pushed again. i could feel the tears welling in my eyes. no. i could not cry. not tonight. not over a stupid boy. even if that boy was the sweetest person in the whole world.

“y/n whats-” i got up at his words and started walking down the dock but he was faster, getting up after me and grabbing my wrist gently. “-wrong?”

“what if i don’t want to get hurt, kimi?” i snapped, and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“what do you mean?! by me? i would never hurt you-” he started, but this time i cut him off.

“you’re leaving me kimi! i mean you’re going off to be a formula one driver, and you won’t have time for me anymore, and i’ll see you with some other girl-” i caught myself. crap. i felt a few of the tears beginning to fall. i pursed my lips, looking down. i tried to pull my wrist away, but he held me firm.

“w-what are you talking ab-”

i couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“i like you, dammit! Not just a little crush! Not just one I can be teased about! I genuinely have feelings for you, and it is physically sickening how far gone i am. and now you’re going off to your mercedes drivers training, then you will g-go to formula one and i’ll never see you again, and i’ll have to watch you succeed from here, with some rich girl on your arm that won’t be me. And I hate it,” I spat, pacing back and forth at the edge of the dock.

he opens his mouth to interject but i raise a finger "I'm not done."

“i hate feeling this way. i hate you making me feel this way. i hate how you stare at me like it means something when you’re just going to leave in a few days. i hate that you’re so damn perfect and i can’t get you out of my head. i hate the way you make me laugh when i’m supposed to be mad at you, and i hate how i’ve started thinking about you at night when i know i’m not supposed to. and i hate this damn pit in my stomach because i know it’s never going to happen. you’re leaving. you’re going back to that stupid, perfect life of yours, and i’m stuck here. and it’s killing me,” i breathed in and he looked like he was about to say something but i continued.

“i’ve been ignoring it for weeks, pretending like this didn’t matter because i knew it was just gonna hurt when you left. but then you kept looking at me—looking at me like i was the only one in the world who mattered, and i started to believe it! and now i’m here, standing in front of you, and i’m trying to convince myself that it’s just some stupid crush, or maybe it’s just this summer heat that’s getting to me, but it’s not. it’s real. and it fucking terrifies me.” i stopped in my tracks, chest heaving, crying.

he opens his mouth to interject but i raise a finger "i'm not done."

i took another breath before starting my rant again. “i don’t want to fall for you. i don’t. you’re leaving, kimi. and i’ve been so stupid because i thought maybe, just maybe, i could make it through the last days of camp without really feeling anything for you. but now i do. and i can’t—i can’t—watch you walk away without feeling like i’m breaking into a million pieces. you’re everything i’ve spent the last few weeks trying not to want.”

i could see his face change, the hurt there, but there was something else too—a softness in his eyes that didn’t match the anger and frustration in my voice.

“you’re so fucking selfish, kimi,” i spat out, the words bitter on my tongue. “you come into my life like it’s just this temporary thing, like i’m some game you can play with for a few weeks, and i’m supposed to act like everything’s fine while you go back to your perfect little life and forget about me! well, i’m not fine, okay? i’m not okay. and i’m not just some passing thing for you to fixate on until the end of the summer and then leave behind.”

“i let myself actually like you,” i said, my voice cracking. “and that was so stupid, because this isn’t real. it’s just camp, and you’re just—this perfect, impossible thing that i can’t have, and i hate that i let you get under my skin. i hate that i care—”

but i didn’t finish the sentence.

because suddenly, kimi’s hands were cupping my face and his mouth was on mine and everything—every word, every fight, every glance across the dining hall—fell away like it had just been waiting for this moment to crash.

i froze for a second, mid-breath, mid-heartbeat, before my body finally caught up with what was happening and i kissed him back. hard.

it wasn’t gentle. it wasn’t soft or slow or sweet. it was weeks of tension, of looking and not touching, of biting our tongues and pretending and denying and wanting. it was angry and messy and real.

when he finally pulled away, i was breathless and stunned, his forehead pressed against mine.

“you talk too much,” he whispered.

my heart was doing backflips. i tried to glare. “you’re one to talk.”

he laughed, just a little, and didn’t move. “you’re wrong, you know.”

“about what?”

“about this being camp. about this not being real.” he pulled back to look at me fully, eyes wide and shining. “i’m not letting you go just because the summer ends.”

“kimi, you have to.”

“no, listen.” his hands dropped to my shoulders like he needed to hold onto something solid. “you said you want to be an onsite medic. come with me.”

“what?”

“formula one teams travel with medics. we need people like you. i need someone like you. i’ll talk to the team doctor, or i’ll talk to toto. or—i don’t know—i’ll fake an injury just so they have to bring you. you’re smart, you’re trained, you’re already halfway there.”

i blinked. “you want me to—what—follow you across the world?”

“if that’s what it takes.” he was rambling now, his voice shaking a little with adrenaline. “or—or we do long distance. i’ll fly you out when you want to come. i’ll come back during the break. i’ll do long-distance. i’ll come back here in the winter. i’ll quit if i have to—”

“kimi—”

“i don’t care how we make it work, i just know i want to. i want you. i’m serious. i’ll give them excuses or fake injuries or learn how to crash a car safely if it means they have to bring you to me. i want you there. or here. or wherever you want to be, as long as you let me be in it with you.”

my brain had officially short-circuited.

“be my girlfriend,” he said, without even hesitating. “please. i’m asking you now before i lose the nerve.”

i stared at him, heart racing. “you’re serious.”

“i’ve never been more serious,” he said, breathless. “and you can still say no, if that’s what you want. but i’m in. i’ve been in. since, like, week two.”

i laughed—stupid, giddy, overwhelmed laughter—and shook my head. “you’re insane.”

“only for you,” he said, grinning. “say yes.”

i didn’t answer.

i just kissed him again.

this time it was slower, my eyes fluttered shut. i felt his hands on my cheeks, his thumbs wiping the tears which had fallen down my cheeks. one of his hands moved to the back of my neck, deepening the kiss with a content sigh. the other slid down to my ass, which made me roll my eyes and move his hand up to my lower back. i could feel him smiling against my lips. my hands moved to his hair, letting my fingers tangle in his curls. i felt his tongue swipe my lower lip, almost begging for an entrance. i would have rolled my eyes again but instead i gave him what he wanted, opening my mouth just enough for him to slip his tongue into my mouth and keep kissing me. my one hand was tangled in his hair, and the other moved to slide down the front of his hoodie. i heard him hum with contentment as i kept kissing him. when we finally broke the kiss, i wrapped my arms around him and hid my face in his chest. he held me tight. i didn't even realise i was still crying, maybe from the rant, maybe the weeks of tension and yearning, but he held me tight, tracing circles on my back, his chin resting on the top of my head, occasionally pressing kisses to it, mumbling stuff in italian which i still couldn’t understand. i felt his chest rising slowly and steadily, his fingers running down the back of my sweatshirt. and we stayed like that for a while, me in his arms, slowly pulling myself together, and kimi holding me as if i would sprint into the lake if he let go.

“so, you didn’t answer my question,” he said into my hair, his voice low and warm. “can i be your boyfriend… please?”

i didn’t look up. i couldn’t. my face was still buried in his hoodie, my emotions barely under control. but i gave a small nod, a soft hum of approval vibrating in my throat.

“use your words, mi vida,” he murmured in my ear, his hand gently finding my chin and tilting it until i was forced to meet his eyes.

“yes, kimi,” i said, breath catching. “i would love that.”

his gaze softened. one hand moved from my chin to my cheek, brushing away a stray tear. and then—he laughed. quiet, breathy, affectionate.

“stop laughing at me!” i protested, though the corner of my mouth was already tugging into a smile.

“i’m not—” he tried to defend, still laughing, “i just didn’t expect you to be crying when i finally asked you out.”

i rolled my eyes but leaned into his touch anyway, my heart doing that fluttery thing it had no business doing.

“you know you made me break my third rule?” i said, voice barely above a whisper.

he smirked. “yeah, i heard about that one. ‘don’t fall for anyone at camp,’ right?” he stepped closer, arms sliding fully around me. “didn’t really go that well for you, huh?”

“oh, shut up,” i muttered, burying my face back into his chest to hide the smile i couldn’t stop.

maybe breaking my rules was a little okay.

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