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toohardtoforgetcth · 5 years ago

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Too Hard To Forget

Chapter Nine

4,621 words

A/N: this is it angels, the ninth and final chapter to THTF! in all series-ness (haha get it) this fic is the love of my life, I poured my heart and soul into this and I worked on this for over a year before deciding it was ready to post. I hope y’all enjoyed reading as much as I did writing for my babies and if you have any requests for future blurbs/fics drop me an ask ! love y’all and happy reading :)

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The next few months were hard, but Calum had expected as much. It was in the little things that he missed Gram the most. He would be making dinner, and he would run out of a spice, and the first thing he used to do was call her to ask what he could use instead, but now he had no one to call. He had no one to take out for the senior’s brunch they held once a month at the church Gram liked to go to. A dark cloud had settled over the stage when he played his gigs, because Gram had been the one who pushed him to pursue music, and playing made him sad, because it made him think of her.

» » » » » »

Calum was sitting at the kitchen table opening the mail when he came across a letter from the city regarding Gram’s property taxes. He had all her mail forwarded to his address, because he wasn’t sure what to do with the house. Parker had gone in and emptied out the fridge and tidied up, being that no one was living there anymore, but he avoided going in there. It had been three months since she’d been gone, but Calum couldn’t bring himself to go inside.

Parker looked over his shoulder to see if there was anything for her when she noticed the letter in his hand. She leaned over him, wrapping her arms around his chest and resting her chin on his shoulder.

“We should figure out what to do with the house,” she said softly. “We can’t keep paying the bills when there’s no one living there.”

Calum sighed. “I know, I was just thinking the same thing. I’ve been putting it off, but you’re right.” He tugged on her arm, shuffling the chair back and pulling her down on his lap as he wrapped his arm around her waist, the other hand still holding the letter. “You think we should just sell it?” he questioned.

“It’s your house, baby. We’ll do whatever you want with it.”

“I grew up there. Gram took care of me at my best and worst for ten years in that house,” Calum shook his head sadly. “I just can’t imagine living there without her.”

Parker nodded. “Then we’ll sell it,” she agreed. “I’ll help you go through her stuff,” she offered.

“It’s gonna take me a while,” he said. “We can put most of it in storage for now, and just donate or sell the furniture.”

Parker smiled. “I’m proud of you.”

» » » » » »

Later on that week while Parker was at work, Calum drove to Gram’s house, Duke with him for moral support. Ashton offered to trade his truck for Calum’s Charger for the day so he would have more room to pack things up. He took a deep breath before opening the door. As soon as he opened it, he felt like a weight had lifted. He had been dreading coming here for a while, and he felt a little better just stepping over the threshold. Duke went inside first, sniffing around for a minute before jumping up on the chair that he always sat in when Calum brought him over. The house still smelled like the home he spent his childhood in—albeit a little musty—but it felt hollow and empty. The same pictures hung in the same place they always had for as long as he could remember, only they were coated with a layer of dust. All the blinds were drawn, making the house dark. He remembered what it was like, sitting at the kitchen table, sunlight pouring in from the kitchen window as Gram cooked for him. He decided to open the blinds and the windows, letting some light and fresh air in.

He put in his headphones, turning his music up loud in an attempt to distract his thoughts. He started with the bathroom, throwing basically everything in a black garbage bag, knowing he would have no use for any of it. Then he moved to the kitchen, doing the same but keeping the utensils, dishes and appliances for the next owner of the house if they wanted them. One room at a time, he packed up all the important things, putting anything he couldn’t sell or couldn’t use in a black garbage bag.

He left his bedroom for last, figuring it would take the longest, since it was packed full of so many of his childhood memories. Gram had insisted on keeping his room the same as when he was a teenager, so he’d have a place to stay if he ever needed it. He packed up all the clothes in his closet, his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bedspread and all his posters and CDs from when he was a teen, throwing them in a laundry basket and tossing it in the bed of Ashton’s pickup. Duke followed him into the bedroom on his way back in, jumping up on the bed and making himself comfortable. The last thing Calum had to clean was his desk. He was getting bored of cleaning after being there for most of the day, so he just grabbed a garbage bag and pulled his desk drawers out, dumping the contents into the bag with the intention of sorting through it at home. He dumped the last drawer, and in the very bottom, stuck under the edge of the drawer, was a white envelope. On the front was Calum’s name, in Gram’s handwriting. He dislodged it from the drawer, picking it up slowly.

He hesitated before opening it, trying to decide if he should open it here or at home. Calum was an impatient person by nature, so he decided on the former as he sat down on the bed, pulling Duke onto his lap as he opened the letter. He had no idea how old this letter was, or if it was even from Gram at all. Only one way to find out, he thought, so he took a breath and pulled it out.

Calum,

If you’re reading this letter, it means I’m gone. I hope you’ve made peace with it, because I have. I don’t want you to worry that you didn’t do enough for me, because I promise you, there isn’t a person in the world who treated me better than you did. I know how much you cared for me, so don’t lose a wink of sleep thinking you didn’t tell me enough. Now I want to tell you how much I love you. Ever since you were a little, tiny baby, I knew you would grow up to be strong. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like to go through the things you went through, but I’m so proud of the man you grew up to be, in spite of all of it. Your grandfather would be proud of you, too. I loved him very much, and I know you did, too. I see so much of him in you. He was tough and strong, but he was a good man, and he had a good heart. I never thought I would get to experience a love like that again when I lost him, but I was wrong. I got to watch you fall in love with Parker, and I got to relive it all through the two of you. I had always hoped you would find someone, and I’ll admit, I worried that you’d never open yourself up to anyone. But when Parker came into your life, I knew right away that she was the one. When you left her, I supported you, but I knew that you’d find your way back to her, because you two have a love that defies all odds. I’ve never seen you flourish or grow the way you have since you’ve been with her, and I believe it’s because she’s good and pure and she has shown you what it’s like to be loved, and she’s convinced you that you are deserving of love and happiness. She’s brought out a confidence in you I’ve never seen before. In my long life, I’ve never been more sure of anything as I am that you and Parker are meant to be together. I’m sorry that I can’t be there with you, to watch you grow old and succeed and watch your little ones grow up. Just know that I’ll be watching over you, always.

Love, Gram

P.S. I’ve left you a little something. You’re a smart man—I think you’ll know what to do.

Calum had tears streaming down his cheeks by the time he finished the letter. He was confused about the last line until he folded the letter and tucked it back inside the envelope, where he noticed something else inside.

He upturned the envelope into his hand, and a ring fell out. It was Gram’s ring—her wedding ring. He hadn’t seen her wear it in years. She stopped wearing it a few years after his granddad passed away. It was plain—a dainty silver ring with a small trio of diamonds at the top, and an intricate twisting pattern of lines and spirals engraved into the band all the way around. Parker would have loved it. The diamonds were small—not something Calum imagined many girls would be excited to receive, but he knew that his girl would be. It was completely perfect for her, and he knew that above everything, she would appreciate the fact that had been Gram’s.

You sneaky little shit, Calum thought, grinning. Even in death, Gram still pushed him out of his comfort zone. Calum wished he could thank her, because she knew that the best things always came out of him taking chances.

Calum tucked the letter back inside the envelope, pocketing the ring.

“What do you think, buddy?” he said, laying back on the bed and setting Duke on his chest as he scratched his ears. “Should I ask her?”

Duke licked his nose, tail wagging.

Calum grinned. “Yeah, I think so, too.”

• • • • • •

When Calum got home that night, he struggled to keep the smile off his face. He knew Parker would be suspicious that he was in such a good mood, so he tried to avoid her. Fortunately, he got home before she did, so he went straight into the bedroom, tucked the letter into his nightstand, and stashed the ring in his guitar case. He hopped in the shower, inflicting pain by pinching himself in an attempt to keep a straight face when he heard the front door shut signaling Parker’s arrival home. Calum heard Parker’s footsteps approaching the bathroom, smirking when she pulled the curtain aside to give him a kiss.

“Hi, love,” he grinned, attempting to keep his bottom half covered with the curtain. “Do you mind? I’m trying to shower, here.”

“Sorry, handsome,” she said with a sly smile, her eyes scanning over his wet, naked body. “Couldn’t help myself. How’d things go at Gram’s?” she asked him.

That stupid grin was back on his face when he thought of the ring. Maybe if he could blame his uncharacteristically good mood on something else, she wouldn’t be suspicious.

Without warning, Calum grabbed Parker and lifted her easily over the edge of the tub, into the stream of the water.

“Calum!” she shrieked, her scrubs becoming soaked by the second.

“Sorry, love,” he mimicked, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Couldn’t help myself.”

Parker rolled her eyes as she giggled, Calum pulling her soaking wet clothes off her and tossing them out of the tub onto the tile.

He kissed her, his lips trailing from her own along her jaw, down her throat, and traveling further. “I missed you today,” he murmured.

“Prove it,” she challenged.

“My pleasure, angel,” Calum responded, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

» » » » » »

Calum spent the next few days trying to figure out a way to propose, because now that Gram had planted the idea in his head, he didn’t want to wait.

Thursday was wing night, and he could hardly wait until then to tell the boys. He asked Ash to host this time so Parker wouldn’t be around. When Thursday finally came, he tucked the ring into the pocket of his jeans. He kissed Parker goodbye, telling her not to wait up for him.

“Say hi to the boys for me,” she called from the couch as he laced his boots.

“Will do, angel. Love you,” he shot her a wink as he closed the door behind him.

• • • • • •

He picked up the wings and headed over to Ashton’s, being the last to arrive. After they finished eating, Calum grabbed four glasses from the cupboard and pulled a bottle from the top shelf of the cabinet where Ashton kept his good booze.

“Hey, that shit is expensive, man, special occasions only!” Ashton protested.

Calum ignored him, setting the glasses down on the table and sitting down as he poured a little bit into each glass and handed one to each of his friends.

“It is a special occasion,” he grinned. “I got news, boys.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “You always have news. What is it this time?”

Calum fished in his pocket for the ring, pulling it out and placing it on the center of the table without a word.

“What—what the fuck is that?” Luke asked, pointing.

Calum shot him a dry look. “What the fuck does it look like?”

Ashton’s face split into a grin, and he slapped Calum on the back. “It’s about damn time, brother.”

Michael said nothing—he looked utterly shocked.

“This came out of nowhere,” Luke commented, surprised. “When did you decide this?”

Calum picked up the ring, turning it over in his fingers. “I didn’t, really,” he admitted. “I hadn’t even thought of it. I mean, eventually, yeah, it was gonna happen, but with everything going on with Gram, it wasn’t on my mind. But I was over there on Monday cleaning out her place and I found a letter. She left the ring inside, and basically told me that I need to get on it,” he chuckled, imagining how she would have said it in person if she were still here. Calum had a pretty good idea what she would have said.

“That’s Gram’s ring?” Ashton asked.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I wasn’t planning it, but as soon as I saw the ring, I knew. It’s time.”

“She’s gonna love it,” Michael finally said. Coming from Michael, being Parker’s best friend, this meant a lot to Calum.

He smiled. “Thanks, Mike.”

“I can’t believe you, of all people, are getting hitched,” Luke laughed incredulously. “You were the most cynical of all of us when it came to love, our entire lives.”

Calum grinned. “I know, right? Crazy,” he said, shaking his head.

Ashton raised his glass, prompting the others to raise theirs as well. “Congratulations, Cal. I’m happy for you.”

They downed their glasses in one shot, then Calum spoke again. “So who wants to help me come up with a proposal idea?”

• • • • • •

Calum got home late Thursday night, as expected, but feeling very well prepared. Ashton asked him if he had planned on asking Parker’s father for permission, and while Calum knew that was the traditional thing to do, he honestly hadn’t thought of it. Calum had never been one for tradition, and Calum knew Parker wouldn’t care. But Ashton raised a good point—whether Parker cared or not, Richard wouldn’t be happy if he didn’t ask his permission. Calum wasn’t sure if Richard would give his blessing or not, but it didn’t matter anyway. He was going to ask Parker to marry him regardless.

On Friday morning, he called Richard and asked him if he was free for lunch.

Although the outcome of today’s conversation wouldn’t change the end result, Calum still found himself very nervous for their meeting. He knew Gram would be proud of him for asking for her hand.

They met at a sports bar close to Richard’s office, and he was already seated when Calum walked in. He stood, shaking Calum’s hand before he sat down.

“Good to see you, Calum,” he said, folding his hands on the table. “I have to say, I was surprised to hear from you. What’s this about?”

Calum chuckled lightly. Richard wasn’t one to beat around the bush, and Calum appreciated that.

“I’ll get right to it then,” he smiled, taking the ring out of his pocket and handing it to Richard. “I’d like to ask Parker to marry me.”

Richard glanced up at Calum, then examined the ring.

“It was my grandmother’s,” Calum offered.

Richard was silent for a few minutes, digesting Calum’s words. After a while, he spoke. “You’re sure about this?” he asked, handing the ring back to Calum.

“Completely,” he nodded. “I love her. More than anything in this world.”

Richard seemed satisfied with his answer. “Well,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “I guess that’s as much as I can hope for my daughter. You make her happy, and that’s all I care about.”

Calum kept a straight face, but inside, he was beaming. He couldn’t believe how he was taking this.

“Thank you, sir.”

“I know I don’t have to tell you to take good care of her,” he warned.

Calum kept his expression calm. “No, you don’t,” he agreed.

“Well, good luck then. Though I doubt you’ll need it—she’s mad for you.”

After lunch, as Calum stood from the table to leave, Richard called after him. “Tell me something, Calum,” he tilted his head thoughtfully. “If I said no, would you have asked her anyway?”

Calum grinned slyly. “Without a doubt.”

» » » » » »

Once his talk with Richard was over with, Calum started planning out the proposal. He wanted to do it soon, but he also wanted to get it right. He only had one chance, after all. Michael got his friend Ryan to agree to record the whole thing, and then Calum set to work putting everything together.

The following Friday night John called him and asked him if he could play a gig, and it felt like it was meant to happen there, being that The Wildflower was what brought Parker back to him. It also happened that he had finished writing a new song a few days earlier, a song written solely for the girl he loved. He made sure Parker had the night off work, as well as the following morning, and told her that they were going to the club after his show, under the premise that they were celebrating Ashton’s promotion. He invited Jenna, the boys and their girlfriends, planning on staying for a little post-engagement celebration afterwards. He went out the morning of and bought her a new dress. The one he picked was one he knew she would love, but he had to admit that his choice was mostly for his benefit, low cut in the back to show off her waist with a deep neckline to show off her cleavage. He laid the dress on the bed with a note placed on top:

Angel,

I had to leave early, but I’ll meet you at The Wildflower. I’ll send an Uber to pick you up at eight. I bought you this dress to wear, but don’t be fooled—it’s more for me than it is for you. See you tonight.

All my love,

x Cal

• • • • • •

When Parker came home from work, she had expected Calum to be home, but his guitar and all his things were gone. She made herself something to eat, then took Duke out for a walk and fed him and Loki before hopping in the shower. When she came out of the bathroom, she noticed the note and the dress Calum had left out for her. She smiled, thinking to herself that it was scary how well he knew her taste. The dress fit her perfectly, hugging her in all the right places and showing off quite a lot more skin than she was used to, but she knew he would go crazy for it. She fastened her favourite necklace around her neck—the key with the engraved ‘C’ that Calum had given her when he asked her to move in, slipped on her shoes and went downstairs to wait for the Uber.

When she arrived, she noticed right away how dressed up he was, sitting up on stage. He was wearing black trousers and a white button down, with the top three buttons undone, showing off his chest and the tattoos that littered it. He came down when he saw her, pulling her into a tight hug. “You look incredible,” he murmured into her ear, letting his fingers trail down the bare skin of her back.

“Where are we going tonight that we’re so dressed up?” she asked, confused. “I saw Jenna and the boys, too, everyone looks so fancy,” she remarked.

“New place,” he lied easily. It wasn’t really a lie—he had planned on moving everyone over to a fancy club down the street for celebratory drinks. “Luke says it’s classy. I’ve gotta start, so go sit down. I’ll come get you when I’m done.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, lingering for a moment, savouring the taste of their last kiss before they were officially engaged.

Parker made her way over to the boys, hugging Jenna and the other girls and sitting down between Jenna and Michael, squeezing his knee. “Hey,” she whispered. “All this for a promotion?” she asked him incredulously.

Michael just shrugged. “Dunno,” he replied indifferently. “I’m just going with it,” he lied.

Parker wasn’t satisfied, but she let it go because Calum was starting his set, and she never liked missing a single second of his performances. She’d heard him play a thousand times, whether it was at The Wildflower, one of the other places he regularly performed at, or in their living room. Still, she was mesmerized and blown away every time he sang, like it was the first time she was hearing him.

At the end of his set, Calum spoke into the mic. “I’ve got one more song to play for y’all,” he announced. “It’s a new one, called Best Years. This one’s for you,” he grinned, his dark eyes meeting Parker’s. “Come up here, angel.”

Parker blushed when everyone turned to her, hesitating. He’d never called her up on stage before.

Now, he mouthed at her, eyes flicking to the stool sitting next to him.

Slowly, she got up from her chair, feeling the weight of everyone’s eyes on her as she walked up to the stage. Calum stood, reaching out his hand and helping her up, sitting back down when she settled on the stool beside him.

“Surprise,” he whispered, away from the mic so no one else could hear. “I’ve been working on this one just for you, love.”

He turned back to the mic, playing his guitar as he sang, his eyes on Parker the entire time. Calum wasn’t nervous—he loved her more than words could explain, and he knew without a doubt that she felt the same way he did.

When he finished, he set his guitar down in its stand, getting up off his stool and reaching into the pocket of his shirt while Parker’s gaze was fixated on the crowd, cheering and clapping for Calum. He spotted Ryan off to the side of the stage, camera in his hand, and nodded at him. He got down on one knee in front of Parker, and her hands flew to cover her mouth when her gaze found its way back to him. She had tears already welling in her eyes, fully aware of what he was about to ask her.

“What do you say, angel,” he started, his smile so wide his cheeks hurt as he held the ring in front of her. “Wanna be my girl?”

Calum could see the tears start to fall, pooling in her eyes before they dripped onto her cheeks. She nodded furiously, finally removing her hands from her face only to cup Calum’s cheeks and pull him up, throwing her arms around his neck as she kissed him. “I’ve always been your girl,” she whispered.

The clapping and cheering from the crowd was muffled, a distant sound as the only thing she could focus on was the man in front of her. He wiped her tears away, holding her tight as she tried and failed to stop crying.

“I love you so much, Parker Daniels,” he whispered into her ear.

She pulled back, pressing one more kiss to his lips before turning to face the crowd, spotting their friends, all with huge smiles on their faces. Michael winked at her.

She turned back to face Calum as he took her hand, slipping the ring onto her finger.

“It was Gram’s,” he told her as she admired the ring.

“It’s perfect,” she breathed, and she meant it. Anyone who knew Calum knew that Grace was the most important thing in his life, and the fact that he wanted Parker to wear her ring meant more to her than she could put into words.

• • • • • •

The rest of the night, Parker and Calum couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Calum couldn’t remember a time in his entire life when he’d ever been this happy. He wished Gram could be there to share this moment with him, but he knew she was watching over him, celebrating with them from wherever she was.

After quite a few celebratory drinks, Parker and Calum were both feeling a bit tipsy and ready to have some time alone. They walked home from the restaurant, hand in hand, and when they stepped inside the elevator of their building, Parker turned to him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, love,” he smiled, kissing her forehead.

“When you—when we broke up for a bit,” she began, squeezing his hand tightly in reassurance when she saw the hesitant look on his face, “what changed your mind? When I ran into you outside of The Wildflower, I hadn’t heard from you in months. So why did you suddenly decide you wanted to get back together when we bumped into each other?”

Calum chuckled lightly. “Gram,” he answered honestly. “She’s always been the one to talk sense into me when I get down. I almost called you—God, I almost called a hundred times. Every time you called me I had to leave the room just so I wouldn’t give in and answer, but I convinced myself you were better off without me. When I saw you at the pub, everything I thought made sense about what I did suddenly didn’t make sense anymore. I needed you back, but I was afraid I’d fucked it up. I talked to Gram a few days after that, and she convinced me that you were worth fighting for. I thought I’d missed my chance when I let you walk away, but then you stepped out onto the patio that night at the bar, and I knew I had to try.”

Calum took a step closer to Parker, closing the distance between them and cupping her cheeks. “She’s never been more right about anything,” he added, pressing a kiss to her lips. He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of kissing her, and after tonight, he never had to know what it was like to live without her.

taglist: @treatallwithkindness @oopsiedoopsie23 @tunnnelvision @wildflower-mmr @crazytarotanon

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toohardtoforgetcth · 5 years ago

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there's a good ending so im more than fine with that, still have to recover but i seriously cant wait!!

Haha it’ll be worth it angel I promise!! ♥️

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toohardtoforgetcth · 5 years ago

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waste the night? gram babie going away? i- i honestly dont know what to say i loved it i hated it cause im like crying rn idk what to do what to think but i did endlessly love cal calling the pups "boys" 😔 also two chapters? and its over? ill go cry in a corner after i re-read the whole fic thanks

Omg thank you!! I’m sorry to ruin your day but there’s actually only one more 😬 chapter 9 is the final chapter, 8 was the second last! But it’s a good ending I promise!! And I may have an idea for an epilogue 😏 I love u so much thank you for reading!! ♥️

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toohardtoforgetcth · 5 years ago

Text

Too Hard To Forget

Chapter Eight

5,082 words

A/N: evenin’ angels, pls enjoy - the second-last smol chapter of fluffiness basically but also swearing and sadness and death sorry love y’all

Requested: I added a lil scene at the beginning for anon who wanted a reunion between Parker and Gram, the chapter was already written so I had to tweak it a lil. Hope it turned out okay, anon! thank you for the ask <3

» » » » » »

When Calum woke up the following morning, it took his brain a split second to register that Parker laying in his bed was real and not just a fever dream. His mind played through the events of the night before, his body tingling from all the places Parker had left her mark on him. They hadn’t gone to sleep until past four in the morning, so he wasn’t surprised to read 11:47 on the clock on his bedside table. Calum absently dragged his finger back and forth over Parker’s upper arm, watching goosebumps rise in its wake.

She stirred, blinking her eyes and lifting her head to stare up at him. He smiled down at her. “Mornin’ angel,” he rasped.

“Still the King of waking me up before I’m ready, I see,” she mumbled, smiling sleepily.

“Couldn’t help myself,” he shrugged. “I’ve missed you.”

Parker answered his confession with a press of her lips against his. “Any big plans today?” she asked him.

“Lunch plans with Gram, but other than that, I’m all yours,” he answered. “You can come if you like,” he suggested. “It’s been a while.”

• • • • • •

After a shower and a quick stop at Parker’s to change her clothes, Calum pulled the Charger into Gram’s driveway, cutting the engine.

Parker pushed down the uneasy feeling in her stomach. I’m nervous. Should I be nervous? She asked herself. She wasn’t sure why she felt nervous – the break-up was Calum’s idea, but still she felt weird about showing up uninvited at Grace’s house after sleeping in her grandson’s bed only a few hours after breaking up with her ex-boyfriend. She followed Calum up the steps, standing one step behind him as he knocked twice and pushed the door open.

“Gram?” he called out, shucking off his boots and ushering Parker inside.

“In the kitchen, dear!”

Calum grinned at Parker, guiding her through the kitchen door in front of him. “I found a stray.”

Gram turned around, gasping when she recognized Parker. Her face split into the warmest smile and she rushed over. Parker was surprised at the old woman’s strength, she was hugging her so tightly. “Parker, it’s so good to see you!”

All of Parker’s nerves melted away as she relaxed in Grace’s grip, hugging her back. “I missed you, Grace.”

Grace and Parker chatted over lunch, leaving very little room in the conversation for Calum to join in, which suited him fine – he was just happy to have the two loves of his life in the same room again.

“Calum, dear, I think the tap in my bathroom is leaking again. Could you take a look at it for me?” Gram asked Calum sweetly.

“Sure thing, pretty lady,” he replied as he disappeared into the garage to get some tools.

As soon as he was out of the room, Grace took Parker’s hand. “I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that you two worked things out,” she beamed.

“We haven’t really talked about it yet," Parker started. “We only talked a little bit yesterday, and it was mostly just catching up,” she admitted.

“There’s lots to catch up on, I’m sure,” Grace winked, and Parker laughed. “But I know you two. There’s nothing in this world that could keep you apart. That boy loves you more than the sun and the stars, and he is never going to let you go.”

“I don’t know, Grace. He was so willing to give up last time. What happens next time when things get hard, and he tries to run away again?” It was a thought that had plagued Parker’s mind since her reunion with Calum, despite his efforts to reassure her that he was wrong and he wouldn’t make the same mistake again. She wanted to believe him, but he had hurt her and she didn’t want to go through that again.

Grace wore a sympathetic smile. “I know it must feel scary to let him in again, after what he did,” she squeezed Parker’s hand. “But let me tell you something about Calum. He has been through hell and back in his short life, and he is very good at putting up a barrier between him and other people, so he doesn’t get hurt. He pushes everyone away because it’s easier than fighting a losing battle. You know what happened with his mother, my Lina. She never fought for Calum, and he carries that hurt in his heart every day,” Grace wiped a tear from under her eye before continuing. “He’ll never tell you this himself, so I’ll do it for him – he needs someone like you, Parker. Someone who will fight for him. He deserves all the love in the world and I know you love him. He just needs someone who won’t give up, who won’t abandon him like his mother did. He will make mistakes, and sometimes he’ll try to push you away. I promise you that if you stick with him, and you don’t give up on him, he will give you everything you ever dreamed of. He has so much to offer, and when he opens up, there is no one in this world with a bigger heart. I’m so proud of how much he’s done for himself in the last year, but nothing makes him happier than you do. He just needs to know that he deserves you.”

Parker had tears welling up in her eyes by the end of Grace’s speech. She could have tried harder when Calum left. She called, but she could have done more. She was partly to blame in all this, too. She didn’t fight for him the way she should have. She could see that now, and she promised herself, for Calum, that she would always fight for him.

Parker leaned forward, hugging Grace tightly. “I promise I’ll take care of him,” she whispered.

“I know you will, honey,” Grace smiled. “Welcome home.”

» » » » » »

Parker and Calum were getting ready to head to The Wildflower for one of Calum’s shows, and Parker was sitting on the floor, playing with Duke while she waited for Calum to get dressed. She thought back on her life over the last year, how much had changed. The first time she came over to Calum’s apartment, Duke turned his nose up at her attempt to pet him. Now, he greeted her before Calum when they came inside. She smiled as she thought about how this man had become her home, and she couldn’t imagine her life without him.

Calum came out of the bedroom, buttoning his shirt. Parker stared at the stripe of skin showing on his chest until he buttoned it all the way, then finally lifted her gaze to his face. Chocolate brown eyes, full lips, dark curls messy but effortless. It annoyed Parker, how little effort he had to put in to look as incredible as he did every day, but her heart swelled with pride at the same time. This man was hers.

“I have something for you,” he smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek and pulling a chain out of his pocket. It was simple; silver, with an intricate key pendant hanging on the end. On the back of the key, the letter ‘C’ was engraved.

Parker smiled. It was simple and dainty—exactly something Parker would have picked out for herself. “I love it,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his. “But what’s the occasion?”

“It’s metaphorical, since you don’t actually need a key for my apartment,” he grinned.

Parker just looked at him, puzzled.

Calum rolled his eyes at her lack of understanding—it was adorable. “I want you to move in with me.”

Parker just stared at him, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”

Calum chuckled. “Of course I’m serious, love. You wanna?”

Parker threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a series of little kisses to his lips. She pulled back. “Are you really sure, Cal? I drive you crazy.”

Calum laughed. “I love you, angel. I want you with me all the time. Besides, you already stay over most nights. The boys love you, Duke loves you, I can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t.”

Parker turned, lifting her hair so Calum could fasten the chain around her neck. She turned back to him, beaming. “Okay.”

• • • • • •

When they arrived at the pub, it was quiet; not as busy as it usually was, which gave Calum a good opportunity to play some new music.

“I’ve been working on this new one, think maybe I’ll try it out tonight, if that’s alright,” he spoke into the mic. “Less of you to disappoint,” he laughed lightly, and they laughed, too. These people had become like a little family—he felt so at home here. “It’s called Waste The Night.”

The crowd went wild for his new song. John caught up to Calum as he was packing up his equipment to tell him that he had another steady gig lined up for him at a restaurant on the West end if he wanted it.

It seemed that people were hearing about his music all across town, and Calum was elated. After so many years of feeling like he’d never amount to anything, he could finally say he was living a life he was proud of.

» » » » » »

“Michael, sit still. I can’t do this if you keep flinching.”

Parker was sitting on a stool in front of Michael, applying his makeup to complete his costume. Luke and Sierra, Luke’s new girlfriend, were throwing a Halloween party and Michael had begged Parker to do his makeup, but he had been sitting there for an hour and he was getting antsy.

“You’re getting it in my eyes,” he whined.

“It’s makeup. It’s literally meant to go on your eyes. You’re being a baby,” she rolled her eyes, smiling. She had grown very close to Michael in the time she’d been with Calum. She loved all the boys, but she spent almost as much time with Michael as she did with Calum. It drove him crazy sometimes, but in the end he was just happy his brothers loved Parker as much as he did.

Calum’s life had never been better. He played music for a bunch of different venues around town and the change in scenery kept things interesting, but it always felt like coming home when he played at The Wildflower. He and Parker had been living together for almost a year, and while it had been an adjustment for him at first, as it had just been him and Duke for over five years, his place felt like home with her there.

Parker’s parents seemed to warm up to Calum, too, after realizing that their daughter was head over heels for him and he wasn’t going anywhere.

Calum came into the living room and Parker did a double take at his costume. He was dressed as Danny from Grease—very little effort, considering the only difference from his day-to-day outfit of black boots, jeans and a leather jacket was the styled hair, but he still looked good—like, really good.

“Wow,” Parker breathed, almost forgetting that Michael was sitting there as she shamelessly ogled her boyfriend. “You look amazing.”

Calum gave her a sly grin and winked at her. “Thanks, doll. Where’s your costume?”

Parker looked down at herself, still dressed in lounge shorts and an oversized tee of Calum’s. “I’m not ready yet. I’ve been preoccupied with Michael’s makeup,” she said, gesturing to her handiwork, Michael smiling proudly. He did look amazing. He wore a black and white striped suit, and Parker had dyed his blonde hair neon green for the occasion. His costume was Beetlejuice, but she wanted to do her own less messy version of the classic character, so she did a purple smokey eye and added touches of green to the sides of his face and down his neck. He looked awesome.

The front door opened and Ashton walked in, carrying a backpack full of what was probably an assortment of booze. He was dressed almost identical to Calum—he was supposed to be Kenickie, also from Grease. Parker rolled her eyes at the boys’ complete lack of effort or originality.

Calum made the four of them a drink, Michael’s sitting untouched next to him while Parker finished his face.

“There,” she said finally. “Done.”

Michael stood up and walked over to the mirror on the wall by the front door. “Holy shit, P. I look amazing!” he gasped, a grin splitting his face. He lifted his fingers to inspect his face closer.

“Don’t touch!” Parker shrieked. “It’s not dry yet, you’ll ruin it!”

Michael jumped at her shrill tone, his hand recoiling. “Yes, ma’am,” he teased.

“I’m gonna go get dressed,” she announced, standing and collecting her assortment of special effects makeup from the table next to where Michael was sitting.

The last thing Parker wanted to dress as was Sandy—she felt like the costume was way overdone, but because of Calum’s costume, she decided it would make the most sense. She pulled on a pair of tight leather pants she had borrowed from Jenna, slipped into her red peep-toes, applied a red lip and draped her shoulders with a leather jacket to finish the look.

When she came out of the bedroom, all three of the boys stopped to look at her. Ashton whistled, and Michael’s response of “P, you look hot!” earned him a punch in the gut from Calum.

Calum walked over to her, spinning her around once and admiring her. “You do look hot,” he grinned. “You wanna forget about this party?” he whispered, pressing the softest of kisses to the spot just below her ear. “I could think of a better way to spend the night.”

Parker blushed, but there was no way she was missing out on this party, no matter how good he looked.

• • • • • •

When they arrived at the party, it was already chaos. Some people Parker knew through the boys, but most of them were strangers. Luke pulled Parker in for a hug and took her hand, leading her into the kitchen where he had set up a variation of liquor bottles.

“Take your pick, babe!” he exclaimed excitedly.

The rest of the boys joined them shortly after, where Luke and Parker had already downed three shots each. As Luke was pouring them all another one, Parker noticed Sierra hugging a petite girl at the front door, who had seemingly arrived alone. She was wearing an unmistakable Lydia costume. Parker leaned over to Luke. “Who’s that girl that Sierra is talking to?” she asked curiously.

Luke glanced over to his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, that’s Crystal. One of Sierra’s friends.”

Parker flashed a wry smile, and Luke looked immediately concerned. “Oh, God, I know that look. What are you on about?”

“Oh, nothing,” Parker waved her hand casually. “Just that she happens to be here all by herself, and that she’s wearing the other half to Michael’s costume.”

It seemed Parker was not the only one who noticed the similarity, because the girl’s eyes lit up in recognition as soon as she saw Michael, and she followed Sierra as she made her way back to the group of them in the kitchen. Sierra introduced her to everyone. She was really sweet, and Michael couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“I love your costume!” he said excitedly, taking a sip of his beer.

“Thanks,” she grinned. “Your makeup looks awesome,” she added, “did you do it yourself?”

Michael choked out a laugh. “No,” he shook his head, then turned and pointed at Parker. “Parker did.”

“How come you guys don’t have matching costumes?” Crystal asked curiously.

“Me and Parker?” Michael looked confused, then his face softened as he realized what she meant. “Oh, she’s not my girlfriend,” he shook his head, and Crystal’s face brightened immediately. “More like my sister, honestly. She’s with Cal. I’m flying solo.”

Parker watched their entire interaction with the biggest smile on her face. Michael was the kindest person she knew—it was about time he met someone as sweet as he was.

Calum snapped her out of her distracted staring when he held out his hand in front of her. “Care to dance, angel?”

» » » » » »

Christmas that year was different for Calum. He always spent Christmas Eve with the boys. They usually went out for dinner and had a couple drinks before making their way back to one of their houses to exchange gifts and watch a movie or two. Then on Christmas Day he went over to Gram’s for the afternoon and she made a big dinner for just the two of them.

This year, their circle had grown by four additional people, so it made sense to have a whole celebration with everyone there. They held it on Christmas Eve so the boys could spend Christmas Day with their own families, and everyone gathered at Gram’s house.

Gram was delighted to have a whole house full of people to cook for, since the last time she had a big holiday party was when Calum’s granddad was still alive. The boys would come over periodically for dinner, but that didn’t really count. All the girls—Crystal, Sierra, Ashton’s girlfriend KayKay and Parker helped Gram in the kitchen while the boys goofed off and relaxed by the Christmas tree. When they all sat down for dinner, Gram at the head of the table, Calum looked around at all his friends, his girl, and he was so thankful that he could call these people his family. After a lifetime spent hating the world and everyone in it, his life was good, and Calum was happy.

» » » » » »

Calum was at home working on some new music at the end of February when his phone rang. An unfamiliar number flashed on the screen before Calum answered.

“Hello?”

“Hello, I’m looking for Mr. Calum Hood,” replied a voice that Calum didn’t recognize.

“This is Calum.”

“Hello, Mr. Hood, this is Dr. Schilling from Blue Cross Regional Hospital. I’m calling regarding Grace Hood.”

Calum’s mouth went dry as his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.

“Mr. Hood, I’m afraid we need you to come down right away.”

Calum’s hands were shaking, gripping his phone so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. “Is she—what happened?” he managed to reply, voice cracking.

Parker came down the hall from the bedroom, immediately noticing Calum’s rigid posture.

“It’s difficult to discuss over the phone—”

“What happened!” he demanded, voice rising to an angry yell.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hood. She passed away.”

The phone slipped out of his hand, clattering to the floor. Calum slid to his knees, fingers tugging on his hair as he rocked back and forth on his heels. He didn’t make a sound. He couldn’t breathe—he felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs, gasping for air as he tried to breathe in deeply. Parker ran over, dropping to her knees in front of him and putting her hands on his shoulders.

“Calum! Calum, what happened?”

He said nothing as she shook him frantically, trying to get him to answer.

Finally, he looked up at her, his eyes glassy and tears pooling in his eyes and falling down his cheeks. “She’s gone,” he choked out.

“No,” Parker leaned back, shaking her head. Her eyes filled with tears, too. “No, she can’t be.”

“She's gone,” he whispered again.

And then his body shook violently, tears escaping as he sobbed, and Parker cried too, holding him, trying to comfort him while he mourned the loss of the only family he had. Grace was the most important thing in his life, and just like that, she was gone. Parker’s heart shattered into a million pieces as she watched the man she loved crumble in front of her.

• • • • • •

When he was sure he had no tears left to cry, Calum stood, eyes red and swollen, the sleeves of his sweater soaked with tears. “We need to go,” he said, voice thick and scratchy from crying. “We have to go to the hospital.”

The drive to the hospital was a blur—Parker didn’t really even remember getting there. She remembered calling Michael in a daze, telling him what happened before hanging up and letting him deal with telling Ashton and Luke. She remembered sitting with Calum in the waiting room for the doctor that called him. She remembered what the doctor told her—that she had a sudden heart attack, likely resulting from her head injury and there was nothing that could have been done. Grace’s neighbour called an ambulance but she was gone before she even made it to the hospital. Parker remembered walking with her hand firmly clasped in Calum’s as they entered the room that Gram was in, her body covered with a sheet.

Calum sucked in a breath, stopping at the door.

Parker stepped in front of him, blocking his view of the room. “You don’t have to see her,” she told him, cupping his face in her hands. “You don’t have to remember her like this.” She spoke calmly, though she felt anything but.

Calum shook his head. “No,” he sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “I have to.” It sounded more like he was convincing himself than anyone else.

Parker nodded and grasped his hand, holding tight as she walked with him to the bed.

“Can—can you—”

Parker nodded. She lifted the corner of the sheet, pulling it back slowly to reveal Grace’s face and upper body. She looked peaceful, like she was sleeping, but Calum and Parker both knew she wasn’t.

Calum’s resolve broke again, and the tears streamed down his face as he reached out slowly to touch her. He touched her hand, and it wasn’t warm like it usually was. He crouched down, body shaking with silent sobs as he rested his head on the bed next to the woman who raised him.

“I’m so sorry, Gram,” he choked, over and over. “I’m sorry.”

Parker just stood there behind him, helpless, rubbing his back in a futile attempt to calm him down, but she was crying, too.

After a while he stood, and he hugged Parker tightly, as if he was afraid she'd disappear if he let go. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, and she just held him while he cried.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” she whispered, sliding her hands up the back of his hoodie and rubbing soothing circles on his lower back.

She looked out the window of the room, seeing Michael, Luke and Ashton standing there with somber expressions on their faces.

“The boys are here,” Parker whispered.

Calum lifted his head, wiping his eyes. “Thanks for calling them.”

She followed behind him as he joined his brothers outside the room, the four of them coming together in a hug, comforting each other. Gram wasn’t just Calum’s family—she was all of theirs.

• • • • • •

Parker decided to take some time off work to be with Calum after Gram’s death. The night he got the call, Calum tossed and turned all night. Parker woke up in the middle of the night and found Calum gone. She got out of bed and went out into the living room, seeing him out on the balcony having a cigarette. She wrapped her arm around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder. He was silent for a few minutes, then he finally spoke. “Go back to bed, angel,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I’m gonna have another smoke.”

The next morning, Parker woke, still alone. She wasn’t sure if Calum had come back to bed or if he stayed in the living room the rest of the night, but he was already awake. She sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Duke was asleep on Calum’s side of the bed, and Loki was sleeping in his tree by their bedroom window. She rolled over, careful not to disturb Duke, and climbed out of bed. As she stood, she heard a loud crash from the living room, making her jump. This jolted Duke awake, his ears down and shoulders hunched from being startled, and Loki jumped off his tree and skirted under the bed. Parker heard another loud bang, followed by a third, all accompanied by Calum cursing loudly.

“Fuck!” she heard him yell, and she ran down the hall as she continued to hear the sound of smashing glass. She stopped in her tracks when she took in the sight of the living room—there were shards everywhere. The coffee table had been upturned, a large crack in the center, and several vases and picture frames were littered on the floor, a fine dusting of glass shards spanning from the entrance of the hallway where Parker stood, all the way through the kitchen and to the front door.

Calum stood in the middle of the room in nothing but a pair of sweats, his feet bare, hands laced behind his head as he looked down. She could hear him incoherently mumbling to himself, but she couldn’t make out what he was saying. She retreated back into the bedroom, quickly grabbing a pair of slippers and putting them on before closing the door to prevent their pets from walking through the glass.

She made her way over to him slowly, walking carefully over the glass. It was then that she noticed three large holes in the drywall, dust and blood covering the knuckles on Calum’s right hand.

“Baby,” Parker whispered. “What happened?” she asked stupidly, regretting her question as soon as it left her lips. She knew what happened, obviously. He was angry, and he took it out in the only way he felt could give him control.

“I should have been there,” he muttered. “I should have been with her,” he said as he finally looked up, and his eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot.

“Cal, there’s nothing you could have done. It was a heart attack. There was nothing anyone could have done to save her.”

“But she was alone,” he sniffed. “I should have been with her. She shouldn’t even have been living alone. I haven’t seen her since last Friday. We were supposed to have lunch on Wednesday afternoon, and I bailed ‘cause I wasn’t feeling good. The last time I talked to her was to cancel plans, and now I’m never going to see her again.”

If Parker’s heart hadn’t already broken yesterday, it was definitely broken now. Calum carried so much on his shoulders, and now he blamed himself for Gram’s death.

“It’s not your fault, baby,” Parker whispered. Calum ignored her. She grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. “This wasn’t your fault. And she loved you. And she knew how much you loved her. You didn’t let her down. She was so proud of you.”

“I can’t believe she’s gone,” he whispered, shaking his head. He seemed to just notice all the glass all over the floor. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he cursed, inspecting her to make sure she wasn’t cut anywhere. His eyes widened in sudden alarm. “Where are the boys?” he asked, thinking of Duke and Loki. “Fuck, I’m so stupid, I wasn’t thinking,” he muttered, taking in the state of the living room.

“They’re fine. I locked them in the bedroom,” she assured him. “Come on, let’s get this cleaned up and then I can draw you a bath,” she suggested, knowing how Calum liked to relax in a hot bath when he had a shitty day.

He nodded. “I’m sorry, angel. This was reckless. I could have hurt you.”

Parker shook her head. “It’s okay, I’m fine,” she promised him, but he didn’t seem satisfied.

“I just got so angry. At myself, at everything.”

Parker nodded. “I know, baby,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his bare torso and holding him tight. She lifted his right hand to her lips, pressing gentle kisses to his bleeding knuckles.

Calum swept up the glass while Parker righted the coffee table and picked up all the broken picture frames. She followed him with the vacuum, cleaning up all the tiny shards of glass he missed until they were sure it was safe for Duke and Loki to come out.

Once everything was cleaned up, Parker drew a bath for Calum and lit some candles, adding a lavender bath bomb to the tub.

She went out into the living room to tell him that the bath was ready, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Thank you, angel,” he stood, kissing her forehead and heading into the bathroom, leaving the door open as he always did.

A few seconds later, Parker heard him calling for her. When she entered the bathroom, he was standing next to the tub, naked.

“Get in with me,” he gestured to the tub with a nod of his head. He didn’t mean it in a sexual way at all, he just needed to be close to her. Calum moved to where Parker stood, lifting her shirt over her head, sliding her sweats down and discarding them both next to his own. He got in first, leaning against the back of the tub before holding his hand out for her to step in. She settled in between his legs, resting her head in the space between his head and his shoulder. Calum wrapped his arms around her, his hands folded and resting on her stomach. They lay like that for a while, letting the hot water warm their skin, the smell of lavender relaxing them.

Finally, Calum broke their silence. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you, you know,” he murmured. “More than I ever thought I would be capable of.”

Parker’s insides melted, and it wasn’t due to the hot water. She lifted one of his hands, pressing a kiss to his palm. “I love you, too, Cal.”

Even though losing Gram had turned his world upside down, he knew things would be okay again, as long as Parker was by his side.

taglist: @treatallwithkindness @oopsiedoopsie23 @tunnnelvision @wildflower-mmr @crazytarotanon

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toohardtoforgetcth · 5 years ago

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again, loved the chapter you have no idea how much serotonin you gave me by making those two babies make up 😭😭😭 i canNoT wait to see what happens this truly is one of my fav fic ever

OMG STOP I’m ugly crying rn thank you so much 😭♥️♥️♥️ I love u thank you

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toohardtoforgetcth · 5 years ago

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for part 8 can you include a cute reunion w gram and parker!!!!!!!!! that would be SO cute

The series is already finished, I finished writing the whole thing months ago! I’m sorry to disappoint, I didn’t even think about doing that babe 😕

Yknow what I lied cause I’m a people pleaser I will see what I can do ;) thank you for the request!

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toohardtoforgetcth · 5 years ago

Text

Too Hard To Forget

Chapter Seven

5,491 words

Warnings: just a lil’ fighting and swearing as per uje

A/N: Hi hello pls forgive me for sad boy cal here have some of this enjoy love u all <3

» » » » » »

Calum had been performing regularly three nights a week at The Wildflower for over a month, and despite the fact that he hated waking up to go to work every morning, he looked forward to every other night at the pub. It was his escape, a creative outlet, a place to channel all the frustration and pain, but also all the joy and passion he felt into music and share it with people who supported him. He had gained quite a few new followers, and many of the faces he saw at his shows continued to show up every week to see him play. It was the highest praise he could have asked for.

Calum had been buzzing from a particularly good show after sharing another original with the crowd, and he left with a high coursing through him that he only ever felt after a really good show. He had zoned out when he stepped out the front door, bumping into someone on the sidewalk and almost knocking them over.

“Fuck, sorry,” he mumbled, picking his guitar case up off the ground where he had dropped it. “I—” Calum looked up finally, making eye contact with the girl. Her eyes widened in surprise, stopping dead in front of him. Words had failed him—it had been three months since he’d seen her last, and his heart was doing flips in his chest.

“Calum, hi,” Parker said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other. “It’s been a while.”

They were standing close, close enough that Parker could smell his cologne and a flood of memories came rushing back to her. He looked good. He’d gotten a haircut, his hair almost short enough that you could barely tell he had curls. Parker remembered what it was like to run her fingers through it, and she was itching to do it now. Don’t you dare, she told herself.

She watched his eyes scan over her figure, bluntly admiring her and completely unashamed. Her brain was telling her to step back, that she was too close, but the signal didn’t seem to reach her feet, so she stayed rooted in place.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “How’ve you been?” he asked her, leaning to the right to rest his shoulder against the brick wall outside the pub.

“I’m okay,” she answered. Parker wanted to kick herself for telling him the truth. She had been seeing Owen for the past month and things were good, but she still thought about Calum. Every day. She didn’t want him to know that she never stopped thinking about him since the day he left her crying on her front porch. She knew it was wrong—she was with Owen now, and she shouldn’t still be thinking about Calum, but she couldn’t help it. “What about you?” Parker looked down, just noticing his guitar. “What’s with the guitar?”

Calum looked down to his case, then back up to Parker. “Uh, I play here, now. Couple nights a week,” he admitted.

Parker’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Wow, that’s—good for you,” she smiled, and Calum had almost forgotten how much he’d missed her smile. Not a day went by that he didn’t think about it.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Gram and the boys talked me into it,” he chuckled.

Parker smiled. “How are they?”

“Boys are good, Gram’s really good,” he replied, smiling. “She came to a show the other night. I think it was too loud for her, though,” he laughed.

They stood in an awkward silence for a moment, before Parker spoke again. “Well, I should get going,” she trailed off, glancing behind him. “I’m supposed to meet Jenna,” she lied. She wasn’t sure why, but the thought of telling Calum she was going to meet her new boyfriend left a sour taste in her mouth.

“Yeah, okay,” Calum nodded. “See you around.” He picked up his case, moving to step around her and heading in the direction of the parking lot.

When he was a dozen feet away, she turned back to him. “Hey, Cal?” she called out.

He turned, and there was an expression on his face Parker couldn’t quite read. Expectant? Hopeful? She wasn’t sure. She opened her mouth, thought better of what she was about to say, and closed it again. She offered him a close-lipped smile. “It was good to see you again,” she said honestly. God, she missed him.

Calum smiled back. “You too, angel.” He hadn’t meant for the nickname he used to call her to slip out, but it did, and he wasn’t sorry. He watched a blush creep up her cheeks before she turned and walked away, and it gave him a small bit of satisfaction knowing he still had that effect on her.

• • • • • •

That night when Parker met up with Owen, he picked up on her visibly shaken nerves right away.

“Are you okay?” he asked her, concern drawing his brows together.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I’m fine. Just—had a close call with another car on the road, and I’m still a bit shaken,” she lied easily.

He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. “I’m glad you’re safe,” he murmured into her hair, rubbing her back.

He was so sweet. Thoughtful, caring, selfless. Parker liked Owen. She really did. He just—wasn’t Calum. She wouldn’t have hesitated to fall head over heels for him a few months ago. But things were different now. She couldn’t open her heart to Owen, because it didn’t belong to her—it still belonged to Calum.

» » » » » »

Calum was over at Gram’s for dinner after work, enjoying his favourite meal. Calum didn’t mind cooking for himself, and he wasn’t bad at it, but there was something special about someone else cooking for you. He loved Gram’s cooking, and she loved having someone else other than herself to cook for.

“Guess who I ran into the other night,” Calum mumbled over a mouthful.

“Young man, how old are you?” she chided. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

He swallowed, grinning. “Sorry. I said, ‘guess who I ran into the other night’?”

“That’s better,” she nodded. “Who?”

“Parker,” he sighed.

“Oh,” Gram said, surprised. “And?”

“She looks good. She saw me coming out of The Wildflower and I told her about me playing there, but she left in a hurry.” Calum sighed deeply, moving his dinner around the plate with his fork.

“You miss her,” Gram said, though it wasn’t a question.

“Like crazy,” he admitted, meeting her eyes. “I fuc—” he stopped, correcting himself when he noted the disapproving look on Gram’s face. “Sorry. I messed it up,” he said. “She’s too good for me. And I hurt her.”

“Calum Thomas Hood,” Gram scolded, swatting him on the arm. “She is not too good for you. She was lucky to have you. You need to stop being so hard on yourself,” she said softly. “Look at how far you’ve come, and you did it all on your own. You have every right to be happy, too.”

“I still love her, Gram.”

“I know, dear. So why don’t you call her? Doesn’t hurt to try,” she said optimistically.

“Maybe I will.”

• • • • • •

When Calum got home that night, he spent the rest of the night fighting with himself about whether he should call her. Ultimately, he decided a text might be better. He hoped and prayed that she hadn’t changed her number. God knows he almost did, just so he wouldn’t be tempted to answer the phone every time she called him in the days following their breakup. It took everything in him not to pick up. He took a deep breath, and typed out a message:

Good to see you the other night, love. Wanna grab a coffee this week? Catch up?

His finger hovered over the send button, but he hesitated. He didn’t know if he could take being rejected by her if she didn’t feel the same way anymore. He was doing good, far happier than he had been when he was working at Rudy’s. But part of him still doubted that he could make her happy. So he erased the message and lay in bed, lonely, wishing he could wrap his arms around her.

» » » » » »

Parker hadn’t stopped thinking about Calum since the night she ran into him on the street. She looked him up on Instagram, closing out of his profile several times and going back to it after trying and failing to convince herself she shouldn’t be going down this road. His most recent post was from last night, a short black-and-white clip of him playing the piano, with a caption underneath that read:

working on some new music, come and see me at The Wildflower tomorrow at 9 for a sneak peek ;)

Parker checked the time—8:42. Before she could even think about what she was doing, she threw on a beanie and her jacket, hoping that if she stayed towards the back he wouldn’t notice her. She slipped through the doors at 8:56, and Calum was just getting his things set up on the little stage.

Parker made her way to a quiet corner where she could see Calum clearly, but his view of her would be obstructed by the three guys sitting at a table in front of her, which suited her perfectly. A server came to her table and asked if she was ready to order. She hadn’t planned on ordering anything, but the girl had an annoyed look on her face, so Parker ordered a drink to appease her, requesting that she bring the cheque with it so she could pay ahead and slip out quietly as soon as Calum’s set was done.

Parker was at a loss for words when Calum finished his set. She knew he was talented—he had played for her a few times when they were together—but it was like he was born to be up on stage. He had the entire audience’s attention from the beginning to the end, herself included. She almost passed out when he hopped off stage and started walking towards her. She was frozen in place, unable to react. Then he stopped at the table in front of her with the three men that had blocked his view, and sat down. Parker felt like an idiot when she realized that the guys at the table were Ashton, Michael and Luke, and she hadn’t even recognized them. She pulled the beanie down farther on her head and stood as quickly and quietly as she could, slipping around the corner and out the front door before they saw her.

What she didn’t know was that Calum had looked up when she stood, and he caught a flash of blonde hair and unmistakable grey eyes before she disappeared out the front door.

• • • • • •

When Calum was on stage tonight, he thought he had hallucinated when he saw Parker sitting behind the boys. Then, when he saw her leave, he couldn’t help but smirk at her complete failure at attempting to be subtle. He swelled with satisfaction that she had come to see him perform, but he would let her think that she escaped without being seen. For now. He slept easy that night, a small spark of hope ignited in his chest.

» » » » » »

Calum and the boys went out on Saturday night to celebrate John offering him another night a week at The Wildflower and finally making enough money to be able to quit his soul-sucking office job. They had gone for a late dinner and were now waiting in line to get into a club downtown. The bouncer took their IDs and stamped them, waving them in behind him. It took Calum all of seven seconds to spot her on the dancefloor, and his heart dropped in his chest.

There she was, beautiful as ever, dancing up close and personal with some dude, and she seemed to be enjoying it. Jenna was right next to her, dancing with someone, too.

Calum tore his eyes away, his celebratory mood suddenly soured. He wasted no time in heading to the bar, ordering two shots with his beer and downing them one after another. If he was going to enjoy this night, drunk was the only way it was going to happen.

• • • • • •

Calum had loosened up a bit after an hour or so. He was standing with Michael, waiting for Luke and Ashton to return from the bar with their drinks. The boys had been ordering one round of drinks after another, and Calum was feeling buzzed. He glanced over at Parker every so often, and the same guy was still glued to her.

“You’re being creepy, dude,” Michael nudged him in the side. “We can go somewhere else, if you want,” he offered.

Calum shook his head. “I’m fine. We’re here to celebrate,” he grinned, reaching into his jacket pocket and producing a joint. “Come outside with me.”

Michael rolled his eyes but he returned his best friends’ shit-eating grin, following Calum outside onto the patio.

• • • • • •

Calum placed the joint between his lips, pulling his lighter out of his pocket and inhaling deeply as he felt the familiar spark in his lungs. He held it in for a few seconds, exhaling a cloud of smoke before passing it to Michael. He did the same, and they passed it back and forth until there was nothing left but a roach.

“You think she’s with that guy in there?” Michael asked finally, nodding his head towards the door.

Calum leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. “I don’t know, mate. Kinda looks like it.”

“The world works in mysterious ways,” the blonde giggled. “Have patience. Patience comes to—no, good things have patience—fuck! What is it?”

Calum shot his best friend a quizzical look, and the two of them burst into a fit of laughter. Michael hardly ever smoked, and he turned into a blubbering idiot when he did. Calum could always count on Michael to make him laugh, even if it was usually at his expense.

“What I meant was,” Michael tried again after they had calmed down, “don’t give up yet. You’ve been through a lot of shit in your life. I figure eventually things are gonna have to work out for you, fate or destiny or karma or whatever the fuck it is, you know?”

Calum rolled his eyes at Michael’s less than articulate ramblings, but he appreciated the effort.

• • • • • •

Later on, long after Calum and Michael had made their way back inside, Calum caught sight of Parker. She was standing near the hallway leading to the bathrooms, talking to the blonde guy she had been dancing with earlier, her hand clasped in his. Calum watched as he kissed her on the cheek. So they were together, then. Then she smiled, though it seemed a little forced. This gave Calum a tiny bit of satisfaction. The guy dropped her hand as he pulled away and headed in the direction of the bar. Calum looked away, not wanting her to catch him staring—he wasn’t sure if she had noticed him yet.

He stepped outside for a smoke, feeling uneasy. He lit a second one when the first didn’t quite settle his nerves. Halfway through his second cigarette, the heavy metal door to his left opened, letting the loud music and hot air out with it. Calum smiled when a certain grey-eyed girl stepped out onto the patio. Everything happens for a reason. Isn’t that what Michael had said? Close enough.

“Hi, angel,” he spoke in a low voice, head back and eyes fixed ahead of him.

Parker jumped, looking to her right to see Calum leaned up against the wall, cigarette between his lips. “You scared me,” she giggled. Calum noticed right away that she was drunk.

He smirked. “Bit cold for a dress, isn’t it, love?”

She shivered. “Just needed some fresh air.”

“Blondie suffocating you?” he teased, though he had to admit it was really none of his business.

“Something like that,” she admitted. She shuffled closer and turned to him, surprised by her sudden urge to share personal details about her relationship with the man who broke her heart. “His name is Owen, by the way,” she started, but Calum interrupted her.

“No offense,” he replied, taking a drag of his cigarette, “but I don’t care what his name is.”

She shot him a dry look. “Someone’s bitter,” she muttered.

Calum barked out a laugh. “So you two are together, huh?” he asked casually, gesturing between Parker and the door leading back into the bar.

“For a month now, yeah,” she sighed. “I thought you didn’t care,” she challenged him, tilting her head.

“Fine, guilty,” Calum held his hands up in surrender. “I care. He makes you happy?” Calum knew he shouldn’t be asking her this, knew he was making it painfully obvious that he still loved her, but he couldn’t stop his mouth from moving.

“Owen’s nice, yeah,” she breathed, but there was a faraway look in her eyes. Calum knew that look. She wasn’t really happy.

“Saw you at my show the other night,” he said, changing the subject suddenly. So much for letting her believe she snuck out unnoticed.

Parker’s grey eyes went wide, and Calum chuckled. “You’re a lot of things, angel, but sneaky isn’t one of them.”

Her cheeks flushed pink. “Yeah, that was dumb,” she admitted. “You’re re—”

He turned abruptly, twisting his body so he was standing in front of her, hands on the wall behind her and caging her in, cigarette still held between his fingers. He brought his face so close to hers, their noses touched. “You don’t love him.” It was a statement, not a question. His eyes flickered down to her lips. God, how badly he wanted to kiss her again.

Parker shook her head without thinking. It was the truth—she wished she loved Owen, but she knew from the very beginning that she never would.

“Leave him.”

“He’s a really good guy,” she whispered. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

“You’re already hurting him, love.”

“I thought you wanted me to forget you,” she said, so quietly she wasn’t sure if he heard her.

“I lied.”

“I—” she started, but her attention was brought to the door on their left, the heavy metal creaking as it opened. Calum pulled away quickly, resuming his position a few feet away from her and taking another drag from his cigarette to slow his erratic heartbeat.

Owen poked his head out, and his face relaxed when he saw her. “There you are,” he said, coming over to where Parker stood and rubbing his hands down the length of her arms. “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”

“I just needed a minute,” she smiled.

Owen glanced over to where Calum stood, but Calum pretended not to notice. He wondered briefly if Owen knew who he was. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go inside. Everyone’s leaving.” He took Parker’s hand and she followed him in. She chanced a quick look over her shoulder, but Calum wasn’t looking.

» » » » » »

Parker thought about Calum’s words all night, unable to sleep. She was supposed to go out for breakfast the next morning with Owen, Jenna and Taylor, but she texted Owen and told him that she wasn’t feeling well.

Later in the afternoon, she had made up her mind. She texted Owen and asked him if he would come over to talk. ‘Everything okay?’ had been his reply, but she didn’t respond. Within 20 minutes he was sitting on her couch, brows furrowed with concern and anticipation.

She hated confrontation, and she hated hurting people, but she saw no option other than to get it over with as quickly as possible.

“I’m just going to come right out and say it,” she started, taking a breath and letting the words tumble out. “I can’t be with you, Owen. I’m sorry. I can’t give you what you want, and it’s not fair to you.”

His eyes dropped to his lap, but he didn’t say anything.

After a few moments, Parker spoke again. “You don’t seem surprised,” she said quizzically, cocking her head to the side.

“Yeah,” Owen breathed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not. You’ve been distant lately.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve just had a lot on my mind,” she admitted honestly.

He looked up at her. “That was him last night, wasn’t it? Outside on the patio?”

“Wh—”

“Nevermind,” he shook his head. “I don’t want to know.”

They were silent for a moment, then Owen shook his head again. “Actually, yeah, I do. Was it him?”

Parker hesitated before nodding. “Nothing happened,” she assured him.

“But you still love him.”

She nodded again. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “If I had met you a year ago—”

He placed his hand on top of hers. “It’s okay, Parker. You can’t help how you feel. It’s just—bad timing is all,” he chuckled lightly.

Parker smiled. It made it even harder for her to hurt him because of how understanding he was. “The worst,” she agreed.

He stood, and Parker followed him to the door. He slipped his shoes on, scooping up his keys from the side table. She took a step towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest. “I wish things were different,” she murmured.

He relaxed around her, hugging her back and placing a kiss to the top of her head. “I know.”

He finally let her go, pulling back. “Well,” he said, reaching for the door. “Guess I’ll see you around.” He waved, and Parker’s heart broke as she watched him walk away, head down and shoulders sagging.

• • • • • •

Calum had another gig that night, and even though she was feeling guilty about hurting Owen, Parker desperately wanted to see Calum again. She decided she would go, and this time she wasn’t going to try to hide from him.

Calum was sitting at a table with the boys before his set, and he looked up when she walked through the front doors. She smiled at him, giving him a small wave. He stood to make his way over when John blocked his path, telling him it was time for him to go up on stage. He nodded, then shrugged apologetically at Parker. “Good luck,” she mouthed at him before taking a seat on one of the stools at the bar. The pub was full, and she was pretty sure it was all because of Calum.

Parker watched him intently for the entirety of his set, failing to hide her smile every time he looked up and caught her eye. She was clapping and cheering with the rest of the crowd when he thanked everyone for coming, and then he disappeared into the back. She turned around in her stool to face the bar, waiting for him to join her. When she felt someone come up to stand beside her, she smiled. Her smile faded instantly when she met the watery blue eyes of a man a few years older than her who reeked of alcohol.

“Pretty little thing like you, why are you sitting all alone?” he drawled, and it made Parker’s skin crawl. When she didn’t answer, he spoke again. “You look like you need a drink, honey.”

“No thanks,” she replied tightly, angling her body away from him in an attempt to make it clear she wasn’t interested. He didn’t seem to get the hint.

“Come on, baby girl, loosen up,” he tried again, moving closer. Parker leaned away again, trying to put more distance between them.

“I said no,” she said again, more firmly this time.

The guy was persistent, not willing to take no for an answer, and Parker was getting annoyed.

He slipped a hand around her, resting on her hip and squeezing as he leaned in close to her ear.

Just before Parker was about to get up and leave, she felt a wave of calm wash over her when she heard his voice.

“Get your hands off my girl, mate,” Calum growled, fist closing around the guy’s arm and ripping it off her before pushing him back so roughly he almost fell over. Parker’s insides went fuzzy at hearing him call her his girl. God, she had missed him saying that.

“Hey,” the guy grumbled, righting himself with one hand on the bar. “I have dibs on this one.”

“Oh, now you’ve done it, pal,” Parker heard one of the patrons laugh. This was Calum’s place, and everyone knew it. If he was going to set this scumbag straight, nobody, including John, was going to stop him.

Calum’s eyes narrowed as he stepped to the side, shielding Parker from his view. “She’s not your property.”

“Cal, just leave it,” Parker said quietly, coming to stand beside him and resting her hand on his shoulder.

“Oh yeah?” the guy challenged, quirking an eyebrow. “‘Cause I bet I could make her do all kinds of things with that pretty mouth of hers.”

Calum barely gave the guy enough time to finish his sentence before he brought his arm back and punched him so hard in the nose that he went sprawling on the floor. Blood poured from his nose, staining his teeth and dripping down the sides of his face. Parker gasped, stepping back instinctively.

Calum walked over to him, resting his booted foot on the guys’ throat.

“Calum, don’t!”

Calum had everyone’s attention now, but no one made a move to help the guy, knowing damn well he deserved to be put in his place. Calum put some of his weight down on his foot, obstructing the guy’s air flow just enough to have him squirming. He knew he was being a little bit dramatic, but he’d be damned if he let anyone disrespect Parker like that.

“Apologize,” Calum snarled.

In lieu of a reply, the guy spat on the ground beside him.

Calum pressed down harder, the guy’s face turning red from lack of oxygen. “I said, apologize.”

The guy struggled to get Calum’s foot off of him but the lack of blood flow to his brain made him weak. “Sorry,” he choked out, and Calum lifted his foot. He crouched down, Calum’s face hovering inches over the guy as he gasped to refill his lungs with air.

“Next time you think twice about speaking to a lady that way,” he said, calmly but menacingly. “Now get the fuck out of my pub.”

The guy scrambled to his feet. “Psycho,” he muttered as he wiped his face on his sleeve before rushing to the door.

Parker was still frozen in place, staring at the door. The whole encounter lasted all of two minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. No one else seemed fazed—the pub had resumed its activity from before the whole encounter.

“You okay, love?” Calum asked, slipping his finger under her chin and tipping it up to look at him.

She nodded. “That was—intense,” she breathed.

“Come for a walk with me,” he said, ticking his head towards the door for her to follow.

He held the door open for her, following her out. It was mid-February and it was snowing, but it wasn’t very cold. It was a beautiful night, really.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said quietly.

“You didn’t,” Parker shook her head. “But you probably scarred him for life,” she laughed lightly.

Calum grinned. “No one talks to my girl like that. He deserved it.”

There it was again—my girl. Parker’s heart swelled. “I broke up with Owen,” she said abruptly, surprising herself at her bluntness, but also relieved that now it was out in the open.

“Figured that’s why you came tonight,” he shrugged.

She bumped him with her hip. “You’re pretty confident, aren’t you?” she teased.

“I watched you with him, angel. I could tell it wasn’t real for you. You knew it, too.”

Parker sighed. “I know. He just wasn’t you,” she confessed.

Calum turned to her, brushing his right thumb over her cheek. “I’ve missed you,” he murmured.

“You left me,” she whispered, feeling the telltale sting in her throat warning her that she was about to fall apart. “Crying on my doorstep. You never answered when I called.”

He caught her right hand in his left, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

“I could have been there for you, but you just walked away. You gave up everything, all because you didn’t believe in us.”

“Parker, I’m—”

“No, Cal, I’m not done!” she interrupted. “I waited for you. Every single day I waited for you to figure out that you were being stupid, but you never came back for me. I never once gave you any reason to believe that you weren’t good enough for me,” she wiped at her cheeks forcefully, tears staining the sleeves of her coat. “You were always good enough, but you got so wrapped up in your head that you convinced yourself I could do better. You were the only one standing in our way!”

Calum fell silent. Parker was right. Deep down, he always knew it. It was why he never answered when she called, why he drove away that night before he gave her a chance to talk. Because he knew she would convince him that he was wrong. He never gave Parker a chance to prove that she wanted him, through the good and the bad. If there was ever a time he didn’t deserve her, it was now, after everything he put her through.

Calum pressed his forehead against hers. “I have nothing else to say other than that I’m sorry. You were right about everything. I hate myself for hurting you, but it’s what I thought was right, at the time. I was wrong. I know I can’t take it back, but if you let me, I can make it right. ‘Cause I love you. And I don’t really care about anything else.”

Parker inhaled sharply. Deep down, she knew all she needed was an affirmation that he still loved her. Lord knew she never stopped loving him. And then he kissed her, and Parker forgot what it felt like to live without him.

• • • • • •

When Calum and Parker walked back into the pub holding hands, the boys started cheering and clapping.

Luke grabbed Parker around the waist, tugging her onto his lap and squeezing her tightly, making her giggle. She had missed the boys, too. “Thank god,” Luke sighed, laughing. “We thought we were never gonna hear the end of it if you two didn’t get back together.”

Calum shot Luke a stern look, but it lasted less than a second before his face split into a grin. “Hands off my lady, mate. You saw what I did to that other guy.”

“I’ve got three inches on you, brother,” he scoffed out a laugh. “I could take you.”

“Okay, boys, relax. No one else needs to fight over me tonight,” Parker laughed. “You won’t get into trouble for that, will you?” Parker asked, suddenly worried about the fight she inadvertently caused. She couldn’t bear the thought of being the reason Calum got fired from another job.

“For taking out that asshole? God, no. Don’t worry, doll. John would never fire me.”

“We were gonna head out, Cal,” Ashton piped up. “You coming?”

“I can take you home,” Parker offered, turning to Calum.

He leaned down to whisper in her ear so the boys wouldn’t hear. “Only if you stay,” he murmured.

Parker smiled. They had a lot of catching up to do, and she was pretty sure neither of them would be sleeping much tonight.

Michael hugged her tight as the boys left the pub. “It’s good to have you back, P,” he murmured. “We missed you.”

» » » » » »

Despite having a very late night, Calum had the best sleep in what felt like years. He woke with Parker laying on his chest, the sound of her breathing letting a feeling of bliss wash over him. He didn’t realize quite how lonely his bed had been until he had Parker back in it. He loved this woman—there was no doubt in his mind that he would do anything for her. He counted himself lucky that she was willing to come back to him after hurting her the way he did, and he swore that he’d never let her go again.

taglist: @treatallwithkindness @oopsiedoopsie23 @tunnnelvision @wildflower-mmr @crazytarotanon

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toohardtoforgetcth · 5 years ago

Note

okay even tho it hurts to see them apart i have to admit that seeing them getting their lives back together warms my heart a little bit 😔 also im so sorry about that allergy attack!! i hope you're feeling better now, sending my love to you!! 💓

Thank you so much angel! I’m better now, my seasonal allergies are wicked so it happens often haha

Thank you for the feedback!! Thank you so much for reading it means so much to me ♥️♥️

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toohardtoforgetcth · 5 years ago

Text

Too Hard To Forget

Chapter Six

3,332 words

A/N: hi babies sorry I know I promised this last night, but I had a small interruption in the form of an allergy attack and so was essentially blind from swollen eyes last night haha, here’s a lil baby chapter for y’all, nothing crazy in this one except sad boy cal and swearing as usual, enjoy! :)

» » » » » »

Parker had adopted a mindless routine in the weeks following the breakup. She had cried for days, calling Calum to talk and convince him they could work it out, only for her heart to shatter all over again when he never picked up. It was a particularly difficult day when she came home from work to find a mysterious cardboard box sitting on her front porch. She unfolded the top, peering inside. Sitting on top of a pile of clothes and other things was a note in achingly familiar handwriting:

I’m sorry. I know you think I’m giving up, but I want more for you. The best I can do is give you a chance to forget me.

Thought it would be better if we didn’t see each other when I gave your things back.

P.S. my Empathy hoodie? Keep it. Always looked better on you.

x Cal

Parker hadn’t even made it inside before she dissolved into tears. She had fallen asleep in his hoodie that night, eyes swollen and stinging from crying. It still smelled like him, a once comforting and intoxicating scent now bringing her nothing but grief and emptiness. She drifted off to sleep wishing that his scent wouldn’t fade away, because she knew that once it was gone, she would never get it back.

» » » » » »

After ending things with Parker, Ashton managed to convince a friend of his to get Calum a shitty job for the same money he made at Rudy’s, but the job was mindless—paperwork, filing, and he had to wear a suit to work. He’d rather deal with Tom than do this for the rest of his life, but he’d burned that bridge when he all but assaulted him, and at least here he didn’t have to talk to anyone.

Given his recent circumstances, Calum was in a worse place mentally than he had been in a very long time, and he started spiraling. Gram was worried about him, and the boys were, too. He refused to talk to anyone about what happened between him and Parker. If he wasn’t a mess before he met her, it was nothing compared to how he was acting now. He was out of control. He still visited Gram once a week, but he was distant and empty. He frequented the bars and pubs most nights of the week. If he wasn’t drunk, he was high, and if he wasn’t one of the two, he was miserable. He was sleeping around with all the pretty girls that threw themselves at him, but none of them measured up to Parker. Calum imagined her face every time he went home with someone new, and the only thing that dulled her memory, no matter how temporary, was weed and booze.

About a month after they broke up, the boys had had enough. They weren’t going to watch their brother suffer like this and not do anything about it. They were waiting for him in his apartment one night when he came home from work in a particularly foul mood. When he stepped inside and noticed them all waiting for him with serious expressions, he groaned and rolled his eyes.

“What the fuck is this? An intervention?” he snapped. “Beat it. I’m tired.”

“Too bad,” Ashton argued. “Sit. Now.”

Being three against one and seeing no way out of it, Calum pulled a beer out of the fridge and sat down impatiently, not bothering to offer one to any of his friends.

Michael snatched the beer out of his hand, slamming it down on the table out of his reach. Calum glared at him, but didn’t bother trying to take it back. “What the hell is up with you, dude?” Michael questioned. “You’re scaring us.”

Calum snorted. “I’m just having a good time, boys. Single and thriving,” he quipped sarcastically.

Ashton shook his head. “Look at you, mate. You call this thriving?” He gestured to Calum’s apartment. His place was a mess—usually neat and tidy, his instruments were collecting dust, his clothes strewn over the back of the couch and the chairs, on the floor, empty beer cans and liquor bottles on every surface in the living room, kitchen and his bedroom. Calum still took pride in his appearance, but he looked tired. He had no life in his face, and the bags under his eyes were visible from across the room. He wasn’t getting much sleep these days.

“You’re the one who broke up with Parker, so why are you acting like this?” Luke asked.

Calum scoffed. “Just ‘cause I broke up with her, doesn’t mean I’m not hurting, jackass.”

Luke cringed. “Okay, fair. But why did you break up with her, then? You’ve never told any of us what happened.”

“‘Cause my life is sunshine and fucking daisies, that’s why,” he spat. “I’m broke, I have a shit job, never went to college. Parker deserves more than anything I could ever give her.”

“No offense, man, but you’re broke ‘cause you’re throwing all your money away on booze and cigarettes. Why don’t you do something about it, if you’re unhappy?” Michael pressed gently. “You aren’t meant to work in an office. You’re crazy good at music—why don’t you do something with it?”

Calum rolled his eyes. “It’s not that easy, Mike. You don’t just pick up a career in music overnight.”

“You have to start somewhere. Do it on the side and stop wasting every night at the bar,” Ashton suggested.

“Gram’s worried about you, too,” Michael added.

Calum narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “How would Gram know anything about what’s going on? I haven’t told her anything, either.”

“Who do you think asked us to talk to you?” Luke replied dryly, rolling his eyes. “You’re really dumb sometimes, you know that? That woman knows everything about you.”

“Thanks for the pep talk, boys,” Calum said sarcastically, “but I’m going to bed. Stay if you want, I don’t care, but I’m done talking.” He pushed up off the couch, scooped up Duke from his sleeping position on Michael’s lap, and went to bed.

» » » » » »

After taking Friday to cool down after his argument with the boys the night before, Calum was desperate to see Gram. He pulled into her driveway on Saturday afternoon to pick her up for a lunch date. “Ready to go, pretty lady?” he called out when he opened the front door.

“Patience, young man,” she chided playfully, coming into the front foyer and sitting down to slip her shoes on. “I’m slow,” she laughed.

“I’ve got all the time in the world,” he grinned, helping her to her feet.

They drove to the restaurant, Gram chatting about the latest gossip about her friends and Calum listening intently. Since leaving Westhill, Gram didn’t have many other people to talk to, so he was happy to listen.

Halfway through lunch, Gram finally stopped talking. She was in an unusually chatty mood today, and it made Calum laugh.

“Enough of me, now,” she said, taking a sip of her water. “What’s new and exciting in your life? I won’t ask you about work because I know you hate it,” she winked.

Calum shrugged. “It’s a job, Gram. I can’t complain. Otherwise, things are good,” he lied. Things weren’t good, but he knew she knew that. “But I have a bone to pick with you.”

Gram put on her most innocent face, and Calum couldn’t help but laugh. “Whatever do you mean?” she questioned, batting her eyelashes and holding a hand to her chest.

“The boys ambushed me the other night, going off about how I need to do something with my life,” he rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with that, would you?” Calum raised his eyebrows, shooting her a dry look.

Gram raised her hands in surrender. “Alright, fine, you caught me. I put them up to it,” she admitted.

Calum snorted, shaking his head. “You’re so nosy!”

“I’m old, dear. Old people are nosy,” she justified. “Anyway, I’m worried. I know things have been hard for you lately, and I don’t like seeing you so sad.”

“I’m not sad, Gram,” Calum argued.

“The hell you aren’t. I don’t know what happened with Parker, but it’s none of my business, if you don’t want to talk about it. What is my business is that you have a gift with music and you’re wasting it. So, I’ve decided that I won’t let you come and see me anymore until you try,” she crossed her arms, an indignant look on her face.

Calum laughed out loud. “Is that so?” he said, leaning back and mimicking her position.

“That’s right. Now I don’t want to hear another word about it. That’s my final offer. Now stop bugging me and let me enjoy my lunch.”

Calum smiled a lopsided grin, pointing his fork at her. “You’re kind of adorable when you’re being stubborn.”

“Flattery won’t get you out of this, honey. I’m older and wiser and you have to do as I say.”

“Whatever you say, pretty lady.”

“I mean it, Calum,” she warned. “I won’t force you to talk about what happened, but I do know that whatever happened between you two, she wouldn’t have wanted this for you. You deserve to be happy, baby, even if she’s not part of your life anymore.”

• • • • • •

Calum thought long and hard about Gram’s last words on the drive back to his apartment. She was right, and he was ashamed at himself for how he had behaved over the last month. Parker wouldn’t have wanted this. He may not be good enough for her, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be good enough for himself.

When he let himself inside, it was like Calum was seeing his apartment for the first time in weeks. Like something clicked in his head after his conversation with Gram, and he realized that she and the boys had been right to be worried. His place was disgusting. He couldn’t believe he ever let it get this bad. He spent the rest of the day cleaning the entire place top to bottom, and when he finally finished, he already felt better. He took a shower, ordered a pizza, and watched a movie with Duke, and went to bed feeling like he was ready to start over. Parker made him happy, but he was ready to find a way to find happiness for himself.

True to his word, Calum started working on his music the next morning. He woke early, feeling refreshed and suddenly motivated. As irritated as he had been with the boys for attacking him and getting Gram involved, they were right. He may have been heartbroken about losing Parker and lost his way, but he didn’t deserve to be miserable for the rest of his life. He hadn’t touched his guitar or his keys in over a month, not since the last time he had played for Parker. It caused a deep ache in his chest to pick it up again, but he tried to use that pain to fuel his writing. By the time he checked his phone, nearly four hours had gone by and he had forgotten how easy it was to get lost in his music. It was the first time since he broke up with Parker that he’d felt at peace. He made a mental note to thank Gram and the boys for pushing him. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but Calum was tired of merely existing—he wanted to live.

» » » » » »

Parker would be lying if she said that she didn’t still hold out hope that Calum would call her and they’d make up and everything would go back to the way it was, but deep down she knew it was a fantasy. She was trying to move forward—going to work, trying to socialize, picking up the life she had before she met him. It didn’t just hurt that she had lost Calum—she lost Grace, and the boys, too. Over the time she’d known Calum, she’d grown so close with all of them, Michael especially, and losing Calum felt like she’d lost half her family. She had to admit that even though she missed Grace, it was easier not having to care for her anymore, because it meant she never had to run into Calum at work.

After an exhausting week at work, Jenna convinced Parker to go out for casual drinks and appetizers with a guy that she’d been seeing.

“He’s got a really cute friend—single, successful, rich. I could set you up,” she wiggled her eyebrows.

Parker’s heart dropped into her stomach at the thought of dating. “I’m not ready, Jenna, it’s barely been a month,” she shook her head. “Let’s just go. I’m excited to meet this guy,” she smiled. She tried to sound enthusiastic, but part of her dreaded being the third wheel.

When they stepped inside the restaurant, Jenna’s eyes scanned the tables for her new guy. She spotted him and waved, and he waved back, smiling. Parker’s eyes followed her friend’s gaze, and that’s when she noticed that Jenna’s guy was not sitting alone at the table. A clean-cut, clean-shaven man with dirty blonde hair cropped close to his head, sat next to him.

Parker grabbed Jenna’s arm before she took off towards the table. “Jenna!” she whispered loudly. “Who is that?”

Jenna pulled an innocent look. “That’s Taylor,” she said. “We’ve been seeing each other for like two weeks now. Keep up, babe.”

Parker huffed in annoyance. “No, not him. The guy sitting next to him.”

“Oh, him. That’s Owen. Your date. Single, successful, rich—remember?”

Parker glared at her friend. “I told you I wasn’t ready. I’m leaving.” She turned on her heel towards the door they had just come in.

“No, babe, wait,” Jenna grabbed her wrist. “I’m sorry, I should have told you, but I knew you wouldn’t come. He’s really sweet, but you don’t have to date him. Just have some drinks and have a good time and if you like him then great, but if not, then that’s fine, too. Just give it a chance—you’ve been through hell, you deserve to have some fun.” Jenna took Parker’s hands, her blue eyes sparkling, pleading with Parker to stay.

Parker rolled her eyes. “Fine. But I’m mad at you,” she warned.

Jenna grinned. “Fair enough. Let’s go.”

» » » » » »

Owen turned out to be really sweet, just like Jenna had said. They had a lot in common, and he was easy to talk to. He was in school to become a doctor, and his family had a lot of money, but he was kind, the type of guy you could tell got along with everyone. He was nothing like Calum, but Parker was surprised at how much she enjoyed his company. After the third time hanging out with him and Jenna and Taylor, he offered to give her a ride home. He drove a Prius, and Parker had to stifle a laugh. Calum wouldn’t be caught dead in a Prius. Stop thinking about Calum, she scolded herself. He walked her to her front door, and he kissed her. She was surprised, but he was gentle and sweet, and she kissed him back. Owen was the kind of guy her parents had always wanted her to end up with. He was safe, and at her most vulnerable, that’s what she needed.

» » » » » »

It had been almost four weeks since Calum’s lunch date with Gram. His days had been wasted staying up late and writing music instead of drowning his sorrows in alcohol and women. He still hated his job, and he still woke up lonely every morning that he didn’t have Parker in his bed to wake up next to, but he was coping. He poured every bit of emotion, every part of his heart and soul into music and he finally felt proud of what he was doing.

Calum met up with the boys at the pub one night over the Christmas holidays for drinks, and he was having a good time. He had momentarily forgotten about Parker and was enjoying a night out with his best friends, when Michael interrupted.

“I almost forgot,” he announced, digging into his pocket and pulling out a crumpled up flyer. He spread it out on the table in front of Calum, smoothing out the wrinkles so he could read it.

Calum skimmed over the words on the flyer—it was a wanted ad, for a musician. The very pub they were sitting in was looking for a musician to play live music a few nights a week to bring in some extra revenue. Calum looked up at Michael, then to Luke and Ashton. All three of them were watching him with hopeful expressions.

“It’s time, dude,” Luke said simply. “Here’s your opportunity. Don’t fuck it up,” he grinned.

Calum glanced over the flyer again. “It says they want a demo. I don’t have a demo.”

“Make one,” Ashton shrugged.

“Oh! My friend Ryan is good with a video camera and editing and stuff, I could ask him to help you out,” Michael suggested.

“You guys really think this is a good idea?” Calum asked skeptically.

“What have you got to lose?” Ashton replied.

» » » » » »

Calum wasn’t sure if it was luck or if his hard work had finally paid off, but a few days after submitting his demo with the help of Michael’s friend, the manager of the pub called him back and told him that his sound was exactly what they were looking for and wondering if he could prepare a set for that evening.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Calum shook his head, pacing his living room. Ashton was sitting on a chair with Duke in his lap. “I’ve never played in front of a crowd before,” he stated. “What if I get stage fright?”

“Cal, calm down. You don’t get nervous. You’re the cockiest son of a bitch I’ve ever met,” Ashton laughed.

Calum rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay, fine. But I still can’t believe this is real.”

“You’ve earned it, buddy. You’re gonna kill it tonight, and we’re all gonna be there to see it.”

• • • • • •

Ashton was right—Calum wasn’t nervous. As soon as he sat on the stool, guitar perched on his lap, he felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be. He adjusted the stand holding the microphone, pulling it down so it was level with his face. The pub was dimly lit, as always, but he could see the grinning faces of his three best friends, and it brought a smile to his face.

“Hi,” he spoke into the mic, flashing the crowd his charming smile. “I’m Calum, and I’m gonna play a few songs for you, if that’s alright,” he said, and he could hear the responding cheers and hollers from the boys in the back. It made him grin even wider.

He played a set of six songs, mostly covers he had prepared and one original that he had deemed ready to be released. The crowd clapped enthusiastically and he was overcome with adrenaline by the time he finished his set, thanking them and packing up his guitar. He carried it back over to the table, setting the case on the ground and joining the boys for a celebratory shot.

“You’re a rockstar, baby,” Luke grinned, planting an enthusiastic, sloppy kiss to Calum’s cheek as they raised their glasses in a toast.

Calum laughed. “Here’s to you, boys,” he grinned. “Thanks for not giving up on my stubborn ass,” he chuckled, throwing his head back and downing his first drink as an official paid musician.

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