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Things I Like

Trying to figure out my life. Maybe writing down what I like will help.

-Nostalgia

-The feeling of purpose; having a creative outlet

-GIving a reading and having everyone laugh

-Being at the beach

-Eating lots of different bites at a meal

-The city skyline

-Clean and organized spaces

-Feeling refreshed after a good night’s sleep

-Being able to teach people things

-Pushing myself to the limit while working out

-Waking up early

-Margaritas

-Having a clean face

-Having clothes feel slightly baggy

-Reading about introvert stuff

-The idea of being a leader, but not the Head Honcho leader

-FAMILY. Being around family. Starting my own family.

-Gardening. I only have a little plant right now but I love the feeling.

-Having a creative project to look forward to. Learning to knit, painting, writing a novel.

-Feeling successful and validated

-The satisfaction of having eaten well and cheaply

-Clean, clear weather. Open spaces. Bodies of swimmable water.

-Learning. 

-Trying new food.

-Feeling clear headed after a therapy session

-Exploring. Traveling new places. Being in airports.

-Taking tests when I know I’ve got a handle on the answers.

-Getting chances to prove myself in front of groups of people.

-Old friends. Reminiscing.

-Paying down loan balances

-Feeling accomplished. Cleaning my room, finishing a short story, etc.

-Making unexpected money.

-Meditating and feeling better after doing so.

-Candles and the windows open.

-Heavy shower pressure.

-Being under blankets.

-A good glass of wine.

-Rap music

-Classical music

-Pop from childhood

-Feeling small and skinny

-Organic, fresh food

-Creating things I can be proud of.

-Learning things no one else does; being a resource.

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How to Prepare for a Big Presentation

-Actually wear makeup for the first time in about two months

-Wear all black

-Have for breakfast (the most important meal of the day, obvs): 1 Greek yogurt with granola, 1 yogurt smoothie, 1 blueberry muffin, 1 Cheez 'n' Breadsticks, 1 York Peppermint Patty, 1 Diet Coke

-Listen to Dale Carnegie podcasts on the way in to work

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Pt II

1. Is this girl SERIOUSLY using her husband-killed-himself-right-after-our-daughter-was-born story as a way to convince the girls that she needs more alone time with Chris than they do?

2. How AWKWARD is it to watch one guy go on dates/make out with/etc. so many different women?

3. When that one girl walked back in after having not been given a rose, all the women were pissed at her, but used that opportunity as a chance to talk about how great Chris is. WHAT THE ACTUAL.

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Problems I Have With "The Bachelor" After Watching For 10 Minutes

1. Is literally everyone on this show white? Oh wait, there's an Indian(?)...male...limo driver.

2. This show appears to be hour-long intervals of 25 (or however many) women competing against each other for a man's attention. To me, this feels even more obscene than porn.

3. These women are, largely, and I guess given the premise of the show necessarily, total bitches to each other. Fake smiles, disapproving stares, and backhanded compliments galore. Especially watching this right after finishing a Broad City mini-marathon, all I want is for the women to be genuine and build each other up, acknowledging that they're all in this together. Or something.

4. Why is everyone like, "OMG CHRIS I LOVE YOU I WANT TO WIN SO BAD" after they've known him for, what, fifteen minutes? Why can't anyone just admit, "You seem sweet, but I'm not attracted to you/I don't like your voice/we don't click. Bye!" Even if you were to line up a row of male models in front of me, I'd be able to reject, say, 75% of them based on the first few minutes of conversation. Why doesn't this happen more here?

5. There is SO MUCH FAKING GOING ON. All these practiced introductory speeches and gimmicky entrances from the women, and the same earnest-sounding, "Wow, you look beautiful" from ~Farmer Chris~ for every single woman. Not that I think saying a woman looks beautiful is a problem (esp. in this context), but hearing it over and over again, said with the same quasi-disbelief ("HowEVER did I get so lucky? Gosh golly!") lends it a disingenuous, sleazy feel. 

I hope everyone on this show contracts an STD.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to resume hate-watching.

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Great

(I'm trying this new thing where I attempt to write down every day things that are good about that day, as a way to try to stay present and also focus on the positive.)

-Chicken tenders are being delivered to my house for dinner. -I finally, after spending actual years trying almost every other brand out there, have found the perfect pair of jeans (from Acne). -I received news that my sleep appliance is ready and I have an appointment with the dentist at 9AM. Tonight may be my last night of unrestful sleep. -About to watch aggressive amounts of Gilmore Girls. -My mom sent a text today reminding us that she's getting a tooth pulled tomorrow. That's not great, but it was nice to get a text from her. -Sid didn't cough up a hairball today.

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I've Fallen From Grace—And I Can't Get Up!

My eventual album title

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6 Content Marketing Predictions for 2065

(post originally appeared on LaunchSquad's blog)

Ah, December. ‘Tis the season for Christmas caroling, gift giving, copious egg nog consumption, and the ritual onslaught of marketers clamoring to publish their predictions for the state of XYZ in the following year.

When it comes to the world of content, we’ve already seen titans like Contently and Kapost put forth their predictions for 2015, with many more brands sure to follow. What’s on their radars for 2015? More brand-owned publications will launch, Facebook’s impact for B2B marketers will continue to decrease, and companies will continue to jump on board the content bandwagon, recognizing the importance of a dedicated content strategy.

Undoubtedly good stuff.

Though I have to wonder: as great and (occasionally) intellectually stimulating as these kinds of posts are, what if we shook things up a little bit? What if in this here blog post we adopted the LaunchSquad mentality of taking risks and making bold choices, thinking outside the box while staying true to our mission? What if we predicted the future of content not 1 year, not 2 years, not 3 years, but 51 years in the future?

Well, guess what? We can. And we will.

Prediction #1. We will see the advent of branded humanoid holograms, who are designed to appear and interact as if they were actual humans, but who consistently pepper their conversations with thinly-veiled marketing messages. That nice girl you met on the subway lightrail? The one with the beautiful brown eyes and just-right jeans who is in every regard your dream woman, but for the weird quirk she has of referencing how much she loves her Apple iImplant every five minutes? Hate to break it to you, boy—she’s a brand hologram.

Prediction #2. Thanks to its retro charm, social media will make a comeback as a popular way of content distribution. In 2060, kids will be making fun of their grandparents for how ridiculous their preferred method of social interaction was. “You mean you actually typed, with your fingers, 140 characters crafted to make yourself appear smarter and more fun than you really were? Grandma, what were you thinking?” However, 2065 will see a surge of nostalgia that will bring back prototypical versions of platforms like Facebook and Twitter, opening a channel for content marketers to reach a savvy, hip audience.

Prediction #3. Brands will take over Top 40 radio, with culturally relevant hits like “I’m In Love With A Coke Head [sponsored by Coca-Cola]” and “Life is Not An A/B Test [sponsored by Optimizely].” And they will actually be damn catchy.

Prediction #4. Advances in Big Data will enable you to receive only the most relevant, personalized content… If you think, “I’m bored,” while on your way home from a dance class, you’ll be presented with an interactive video on the history of dance, sponsored by Dove and delivered straight to the inside of your eyelids (c/o your Apple iImplant, of course).

Prediction #5. …but black-hat content marketing will arise in the form of salacious marketers providing ad content to users when they are “hangry” and therefore less likely to make fiscally responsible decisions. It’s 6:3opm. You’re still at the office. You didn’t have time to eat lunch. Your best friend’s birthday party is tonight and you have nothing to wear. Picking up a $20 dress from H&M would be the reasonable decision, but you’re starving and have a headache and H&M is thirty blocks away and–what’s that? Intermix just sent you an article on how cute Blue Ivy’s daughter looked at her Sweet 16, and there’s a button you can click to receive that very dress via drone in less than 20 minutes! Sure, it’s $599, but you’re hangry; logic means nothing.

Prediction #6. In a victory for content marketers everywhere, 2065 will mark the year in which people finally stop getting confused by what exactly it is that we do and what exactly this thing called content is. Man, I can’t wait.

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"Never love a wild thing, Mr. Bell," Holly advised him. "That was Doc's mistake. He was always lugging home wild things. A hawk with a hurt wing. One time it was a full-grown bobcat with a broken leg. But you can't give your heart to a wild thing: the more you do, they stronger they get. Until they're strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree. Then a taller tree. Then the sky. That's how you'll end up, Mr. Bell. If you let yourself love a wild thing. You'll end up looking at the sky."

Holly Golightly - (Breakfast At Tiffany's by Truman Capote)

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Vindication!

The most vindicating part of accepting a new job is being able to email everyone else you're interviewing with and say to them with the kind of cloying goodwill that has resonated throughout the countless rejections you've received along the way, "Thanks so much for your interest. However, at this time, I have elected to pursue a different opportunity. Best of luck in your search!"

Suckers.

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Stan: Huh? But you just got dumped. Butters: Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid.

South Park

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Other Universe You

Every day in (especially, but not exclusively) New York, you’re aggressively confronted with all your possible lives. With what could have been; with what should be. If you hadn’t begged your best friend to leave that party with the acrobats in order to get McDonald’s, you’d be living in this high-rise on 86th Street with the i-Banker who, that night, was on a terrible OkCupid date he couldn’t wait to end. He would have loved you. If you hadn’t needed to use the landline of the boy with the beard who lived in your dorm freshman year, you would be slinging drinks at Milk and Honey, flushed but happy and with a well-coiffed husband at home. You could be poor and full of poetry in Jackson Heights, you could be leading a SoulCycle class in Chelsea. That could be you in the Rich Kids of Instagram blog, your hair all blown out and your lipstick staining a glass of Moet. You could have a sugar daddy, you could be on roller blades, you could work in publishing, you could be that woman pushing a stroller with a baby inside who’s laughing so hard, he’s crying. It could be you defending your dissertation on Visual Roots of Social Cognition, you could be sucking blow through your nose, all spine and cheekbones and cigarette smoke tangles. You wrote a lot of good screenplays in college; you could have been Lena Dunham.

There are so many stories in New York, and all of them are yours. Could have been/should have been/would have been yours. 

Every experience, then, is imbued with a necessary unrest, a pervasive sense of malcontent—nothing as serious as depression, just a constant nagging reminder that “you could be happier, you know.”

But then there are moments—standing on the steps of the Met at sunrise, biking down the Williamsburg Bridge with no pedestrians ambling in your lane, drinking a glass of rosé on the terrace of your new apartment in the borough your friends only annually visit, the sun setting quietly through the mess of overlapping trees—when you are so absolutely sure that this is where you are supposed to be. That all the heartbreak and financial trouble and subway seats with pools of unidentified liquid have led you to this, and this is right. In these moments, it doesn’t matter that Other Universe You is getting a pedicure with her best friend Chan Marshall while eating chocolate truffles—Other Universe You is for once quiet, two-dimensional, maybe even irrelevant.

You are here, and now, and perfect.

(I hope) we all have these moments, and (I hope) when they happen, we hold them close like a hug.