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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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got a haircut.
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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What is going on anymore
I deleted that girl I met because she has a boyfriend, I'm accidentally taking someone's girlfriend, and my ex cheated on someone he likes. It doesn't have anything to do with me, but I really feel bad for the guy he's with because I was basically in the same situation
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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Bullshite of course you do
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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Bad texter
I don't really mind that the girl is a bad texter just that I do mind and text back faster!!! I'm trying to appreciate you in your presence bitch
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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I want what my friends have, they look so happy
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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IM SO HAPPY
I MET THIS GIRL ON THE TRAIN after comforting her because she was crying. I would never talk to any random person who doesn't go to my school, but she looked at me for 1 second and looked like she needed help. I cheered her up and made her laugh, she's a history nerd like me and just so cool
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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Lost
I'm fine with talking to him and him having a new interest in someone I just kind of want my interest here too or something so I don't feel lonely or left out. I reflected too much while staring at the waves on Roosevelt island today. She's out there somewhere and I know I can be happy
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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Relationships
Tired out, but somehow still believe in that whole love thing. Just gonna sit back and wait to see if I meet someone or not and if not I'm fine
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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OMG NOT JUST OASIS BUT I PROBABLY KNOW WHEN THIS TRAIN STOP IS IN NEW YORK CITY
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Wonderwall// Oasis
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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School books are cheesy
I just messaged him and I know it sounds weird but it feels like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders. I was going to make a reference to the scarlet letter, but like the title says, someone will just say "we've all read that book. You're not original!"
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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Forget?
I hate everything I said last night
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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Hugs
“Maybe you’re just rushing.” Maybe I am rushing. I have guilt in my heart that I want to let out that I just don’t think I can, but if I didn’t “rush” then who would be there to hold me? To go to sleep with me? In retrospect I don’t know if I can ever do those things again with anyone, but the thought that I could warms me enough in this cold heart I’ve been described as
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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Darkness
I really can't fucking sleep. I was listening to Sinatra's "My way" and as I got the idea to do something special for my girlfriend like decorate a whole room with roses I suddenly found myself replacing my girlfriend with my ex. As if I look at this dark nothingness on the left of my bedside I see him with sorrow eyes. I question if either that's how he would be right now or that's what I want and I'm just thinking of him like that because I'm in a bad place. I picked up my guitar and tried to go to the bathroom to write a song about confusion, but it's 11:35pm and my uncle saw me. To think that just about 4 months ago I was doing regents packets at this time, fun times.
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topnek-blog1 · 7 years
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Napping
I like naps, but I also don't like them. I don't like not being able to think. It's like not wanting to sleep at a party because your face might have drawings when you wake up. I just can't give up my freedom and waste time by napping
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