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Quarter-Life-Crisis

"I don’t have a maternal bone in my body." A little blunt, perhaps?

"I have a maternal bone; it’s just not very big?" Slightly more accurate, yet I still sound like a demon.

Why is it, with my 25th Birthday fast approaching, I’m being questioned more on my life plans, specifically, having children? I understand that 90% of the generation before were married, parents and homeowners by the time they’d reached their quarter-life-crisis, my parents no exception. Yet more and more women today are single, focussing on their careers and desperately trying to move out of their family home. Some of these are true of me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I like kids, I just don’t LOVE them. I’m not the girl cooing over the pram, pulling faces and talking in that cutesy voice in order to try and get a reaction from a 2-week-old baby. When asked to hold one, it will be at arms length, as if I’ve been handed a muddy football.

That’s not to say I don’t enjoy seeing smiley faces from the little people. In fact, there’s something quite calming about witnessing a 5 year old and their wonderful ways of playing. It’s easy to forget just how naïve and innocent we are at such an age and how in reality something that doesn’t even matter can seem like the end of the world.

It brings back memories of the hours I used to spend in the garden collecting cheesy bobs (yes, that IS what they’re called) or insisting on styling the babysitters barnet when playing hairdressers – no matter how much pain would be inflicted, or the hours it would take her to be free of my ‘fabulous’ creation. I always did like hairspray!

Put me in a room with a child and I either sink or swim. The fear of them not liking me is worse than the fear of not being picked for the netball team at secondary school. That being said, a child’s intuition is usually right. Referred to as “rubbish” when helping with the Lego typically means I need more practise at piecing those multi-coloured bricks together. A task that for a 24 year old, you’d think would be a breeze! I went from being the best friend to the devil in a matter of seconds.

And what about the QUESTIONS? I’ve always found it difficult to sugar coat in regards to those niggling Q’s that bombard you, clothes clenched into miniature hands until answered. I’m sorry but the birds and the bees don’t work for me. Fear not, at no point would I dare inform the tiny humans of the gory details. When it comes to “Where do babies come from?” my answer remains the same, “Ask your dad.” (One small kick back at the male population for simply not suffering as much as the mummies do during their 9 months of hell!)

I’m still trying to figure out at what point do we, as females see every pram as a shiny new handbag or hear baby cries as the latest hit single? Music to the ears and all that. Here’s to hoping its not quite yet…

If I were to be deluded enough to inflict motherhood on some poor unbeknown child, in an ideal world, I know how many, their sexes, how far apart in years they would be and both their names. Although we all know things don’t always go to plan.

SO little terrors, if ever I am to create you:

I promise not to hold you like a football. I promise to brush up on my Lego skills. I promise not to cry when deconstructing the tangled mess you have fashioned with too much hairspray.

Maybe, someday. But for now, I’ll be playing Lego solo.

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The Diary of a NOW intern... p.3

So my months internship with NOW Magazine was over as fast as it had begun (or so it seemed!) Here are some more features I wrote for NOW Online: http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/fashion-news/555340/style-news-mary-berry-wears-m-s-bomber-jacket-on-the-great-british-bake-off http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/fashion-news/555299/style-news-michelle-keegan-s-new-winter-collection-for-lipsy What an amazing experience! Although my credit card took a battering, my passion for writing and certainty that one day I will hopefully write for a fabulous publication like this grew!

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The Diary of a NOW intern… p.2

So my internship is going well with NOW magazine... and what's more, I've been let loose with some more of their online stories, which is all very exciting!! As I'm based in the fashion & styling department it will come as no surprise to you that my topics are fashion briefs! Hope you enjoy: Not sure what to wear this weekend? Well I've hunted down the best 'Back In Stock High-Street Bargains.' Missed them once before? Don't make the same mistake again... http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/fashion-news/555302/style-news-back-in-stock-high-street-bargains

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The Diary of a NOW intern…

That’s right people! Thanks to a lovely friend of mine I have been lucky enough to land a months internship at NOW HQ! #superexciting I’ve been here just over two weeks and have learnt some invaluable writing and imaging skills that will hopefully help me along my route to be a superstar journo. OH and not forgetting the lovely layds I’ve met along the way! Some even more exciting news is I’ve been let loose to write my first fashion article for NOW online. Fancy a read? The link is below: http://www.nowmagazine.co.uk/fashion-news/555141/fashion-high-street-bargains-for-this-september-weekend#image1 More updates to follow! xx

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30 Day Ab Challenge

So recently I was introduced to the '30 Day Ab Challenge' by one of my nearest and dearest who swears it'll works wonders for those bits I'm just not quite confident with yet. After downloading the iphone app a fair 9 days ago, I have followed it religiously - enjoying those 'rest days' even more! I am pleasantly surprised with what I have found: both easy to use and to follow, I can track my progress daily and find myself achieving more and more as the weeks roll on. With no way to skip and cheat it really is the perfect motivation, with the four different tasks keeping boredom at bay. I'll keep you posted when I get a little bit closer to the end! Note to self: Sit ups are much more difficult with a Becks in one hand!

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Writer's Block?

... think again! Here is my latest feature for SheInspires.com.au http://www.sheinspires.com.au/creativity/5-Ways-for-Fueling-Creativity Note to self: Don't let your creativity go anywhere

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She Inspires... me!

So recently I was given the amazing opportunity to write features for the online womens lifestyle website www.SheInspires.com.au After contacting the editor and founder of the site, Belinda, she kindly offered me the chance of an Internship with herself, despite being based on the other side of the world - NSW, Australia! Super excited, I've thrown myself into it already producing two features for the site under the subheading 'Fashion Business.' You can read my features at: http://www.SheInspires.com.au/7-Elements-to-Become-Successful-In-Fashion-Design http://www.SheInspires.com.au/7-Ways-Designers-Can-Use-Pop-Ups-Stores-to-Grow I'll be sure to keep you up to date with my stories as they develop! Note to self... Long distance relationships really can work!

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My new 'Baby.' So yesterday was a very exciting day for me, I went to collect my new baby, my new little Citroen C1. Not only does she drive like a dream, but looks pretty lush too! My first very own car... Note to self... Do not talk to your car when driving alone, tad delirious.

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Quick fix bix

Yet again more baking this weekend, although with less time on my hands than before, I chose a 'quick fix biscuit' recipe with minimal washing up - always a bonus! I warn you now, this makes 30 biscuits: 175 g butter 250 g soft light brown sugar 350 g golden syrup 3 egg whites 250 g rolled oats 280 g plain flour pinch of salt 1 tsp baking powder 2 tbsp icing sugar In a large mixing bowl, blend the butter, sugar, golden syrup and egg whites together. Gradually add the oats, flour, salt and baking powder and mix thoroughly. Drop 30 rounded tablespoonfuls of the mixture onto the prepared baking sheets and transfer to a preheated oven of 180C/350F Bake for 12 minutes or until the cookies are light brown in colour. Remove from the oven and allow to cool. Mix the icing sugar with a little cold water to form a thick icing. Drizzle over the biscuits and leave to set before serving. Ta daaaa! And thats how you make chewy golden delights in minimal time! Note to self... try not to flick sugar all over the floor, or gag slightly at the sight of egg whites!

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Noted: Check the recipe amount before ending up with 30 cookies, rather than a preferred 12!

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Baking Day Noted: Yummy treats can be healthier...

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Bake yourself happy

Saturday was my day off and with the boys away, mum and I were left with the house to ourselves. Both feeling pretty blue, I suggested nothing more than a 'bake yourself happy' day... Now, I do love to bake - but I always find myself slightly terrified by the amount of sugar and fat that goes into even the most basic of treats. And although the feeling of creating something scrumpious and mouth watering gives a head high, soon comes the guilt of consuming most of the batch within a couple of days. Back to square one. Therefore, sifting through recipes I decided to swap some simple ingredients with slightly more healthier options and have still found success, that of the guilt free variety! First bake of the day were some breakfast blueberry muffins I like to call 'Morning Blues.' Quite simply '(b)eat the morning blues.' Just swapping plain flour for wheatgerm flour cuts the calories by almost half, as does choosing skimmed milk and low fat spread as opposed to full fat butter. I was soon craving chocolate and decided to make some white chocolate brownies. This time changing the sugar to light brown sugar made these delights that little bit more appealing for the body conscious! A good day I think! Note to self... clean up as I go along, rather than have to face a kitchen post bake that looks like its been attacked by flour bombs!

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Feeling Rosey

February 14th - you either love it or you hate it. Hate it - mostly because you are single, alone, bored and depressed? Love it - you have a partner to take to dinner, feel part of a team, are in love and happy? Am I right? Well it wasn't until a few years ago the very sight of a red rose made my stomach churn and the words 'I love you' had never been said in any serious context. I. LOVE. YOU. Three words when put together can change almost anything. When young and unattached they are words slurred after too many G&T’s, but are the words we long to hear to validate a new relationship. Sometimes, they can be blurted out without warning, from the most unexpected of people. After fifteen years of marriage they become so familiar we question their significance, or whether our reaction to hearing them is in fact the thing that’s changed. I could go on. This phrase can create either a head high or storm in a teacup, but when broken down can have the most satisfying of meanings… I'm extremely lucky to have my team player with me now so that we can celebrate him having put up with me for all this time! BUT to avoid the standard 'Valentines Day Parade' that comes around tonight each year we have chosen, like always, to spend our 'Valentines' a few days after everyone else does... this works well for us and feels much more relaxed and less for show. Heres an article I wrote for when I felt like Mr right was never going to show up, adamant I would live merely a spinsters life: “Stop looking and you’ll find one…” Six little words used whenever complaining about being single, or wanting to find the person you desire to be with for the rest of your life... the one. We are expected to cherish being young, free and single. So when your girlfriend asks if you’d like to join her and her boyfriend for takeout, something’s gone horribly wrong. Women aren’t hard to please; we’re impossible to please. We want a sex god in the bedroom, keen masseur as well as a Michelin-star chef. What is it we want so badly? In actual fact, it’s none of the above. We want someone to send us mushy texts, to cuddle up with as well as someone to call our own at those dreaded family occasions, the ones that happen every year no matter what other commitments are in the diary. I’ll never forget the moment I entered such an occasion, a summer barbeque - alone. I was asked the question dreaded by all singletons in front of copious amounts of relatives. “Still not found yourself a boyfriend then?” Uncle Nigel, the man with a voice that gives an amplifier a run for its money. It was this ultimate humiliation that sent my brain into overload. Where was I going wrong? So I stopped looking and took up those offers for nights out with couples ‘plus one.’ What’s wrong with joining your best mate and her boyfriend for a cosy Friday night in? If I didn’t have anyone, I’d hang out with them instead of hoping every male that brushed past me would somehow guess my number and text for a date within the hour. I have to admit at one point, I was quite the mentalist. Enter Luke, a work colleague I’d never really thought about until I received a text asking to go for a drink. It was in that moment I did something I thought I’d never do. I waited until the following evening to reply, contemplating whether or not I’d actually like to be taken out. After months of complaining to friends I’d began to doubt myself. I started to weigh up the highlights of being single - the ability to have a cheeky unattached fling without the guilt that follows with a relationship. Again, I was jumping the gun considering I was yet to press ‘send.’ Five months on and things were going perfectly. We were doing all that coupley stuff, the texts, the cuddles and most importantly the family barbeques. I started to think my uncle Nigel might now finally keep it shut. In all fairness, he did - until I realised Jake had also been doing all of that ‘stuff’ with a certain other. It turned out it wasn’t just me he was keen on – his ex was also a strong candidate. I came to the conclusion we probably weren’t as well suited as I’d first thought. He liked RnB, whereas I’m more of a Britney fan. He didn’t like theme park rides, whereas I’m an adrenaline junky eager to scream until I deafen all those around me. He didn’t like to drink much, whereas I decided I quite fancied a drink or two… It’s not everyday you wake up in your mates bed, head pounding and no idea how you got there. I’d had better mornings than feeling that nauseous sickness you get when attempting to lift your head off the pillow. “What happened?” I asked. Only to be given the most humiliating response. Long story short ‘Get down from the bar, put your clothes back on and leave the Asda trolley where it belongs.’ Such shameful antics can only result in a week as an absolute recluse and time to sort my head out. Of course, it started with denial. Why should I accept he’d been like that with her we were together? Then came the anger in the form of smashing plates against the wall, and finally, acceptance. Obviously my female support network of friends played a huge role on standby with tissues, chocolate and the ultimate chorus any dumpee wants to sing, “All men are bastards!” Back to square one. So we go out looking for the perfect person and then when interest is shown we hesitate at the risk of getting hurt, only to be hurt when we do decide to go for it. At the risk of sounding cynical maybe we need to sort ourselves out first, say goodbye to the vodka tonics and embrace being spinsters. Independence is everything. The one, when he finally turns up will be ‘nice’ without being a pushover, confident without being arrogant, funny but no comedian. Most importantly he’ll have that special something you just can’t quite put your finger on. In my experience even if these words aren’t the ones we want to hear, sometimes they’re the ones we need to listen to. I’m not saying shrug off every guy that shows interest, although maybe don’t start photo-shopping pictures for your family album after just one date. “Stop looking and you’ll find one,” that, I’ll leave up to you! Note to self: Valentines Day is only a commercial commodity when angry and single, must buy card!!

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Skydive Wanaka

Noted: Strap yourself to a beautiful stranger

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Strap yourself to a beautiful stranger

06 November 2013 "Strap yourself to a beautiful stranger" This was the tag line for the Skydiving company I chose to jump with in Lake Wanaka, New Zealand. I'd always wanted to throw myself out of a plane from a very young age. Embedded in my mind was that the views would totally overpower the feeling of falling to your death, yet that feeling would be so exhilarating it was also part purpose for wanting to do it in the first place. I was right. I was right about everything. When in New Zealand I was instructed to jump on a day when the weather was warm and not to hesitate. Several sunny days had passed me by, yet horrendous hangovers from previous nights had made my signature miss those forms of consent on these days... but not TODAY! In the moment: Bundled into a minivan, the group of us from the Kiwi Experience watch a brief safety video that basically states: make a banana shape with your body, listen to your free fall buddy and smile for the camera! Not quite the intensive training I had hoped for. Out of the truck we sign our lives away on an extensive health form taking sole responsibility for any future health complications and physiological traumas. We also select our preferred jump height. I of course say to myself 'if you're going to jump, jump high!' Next, onto the scales (I refuse to look) before handing over the credit card and parting with a generous £400+ Queue the not so flattering bright orange jumpsuit and my 'beautiful stranger' Chris. First thoughts: wow he's... small?? I know they match us on weight but what I was looking at was a man no taller that a toddler and no heavier than a bag of sugar. Now I'm panicking. But his tattoos are hot so that is a bonus. He smiles and we small talk before my much larger camera man, Barney, comes over for an interview. "What message would you like to send to your friends and family back home?" he says. "Wish me luck" I say, quite honestly. But no luck in the world can save me now, onto the plane we go. Sitting backwards during takeoff is a little different from previous flying experiences but its exciting to say the least. It takes around twenty minutes to reach 12,000ft - a height four of the others are jumping from. Out they bundle. Up higher we venture. OXYGEN MASKS are given to myself and fellow jumper, along with sly remarks from such 'strangers' stating our harnesses are a little loose and that they are in fact not very competent at their jobs. We reach 15,000ft and the realisation hits me. Its time! The next minute or so is a blur of being dangled over the edge of the plane and spinning... a lot. Free fall is amazing... completely different to what I was expecting. It literally feels as if I'm floating on air - which I suppose in retrospect, I am! The smokey clouds waver past, with bursts of sunlight breaking through and momentarily blinding me. This is incredible, my adrenaline levels only climbing as we fall. Barney is below filming my wide open mouth filling with copious amounts of freezing cold air. Unable to do anything other than laugh hysterically, I look a little deranged in both the photos and the videos. Free fall ends before it has even began it seems, giving my head time to realise where I am - now 5,000ft above the ground. Yes, in less than a minute Chris and I have dropped a generous 10,000ft! Thankfully the parachute does its job, bursting out in a beautiful bumblebee yellow. Unable to hear much due to a sharp pain in my left ear, I just about understand my 'strangers' tour above the view, with the help of him pointing at some gorgeous landmarks through the mountains and the lakes. We float down as if it's the most natural thing in the world. The entire experience is over far too quickly. Grass in my mouth as we land tops off my unglamorous efforts on camera. Barney waits patiently for my legs to work and for me to stand, but he is unaware that since landing I am now feeling incredible nauseas. I smile once again for the camera and hug Chris in an in prompt thank you, before my head begins to swim and I almost fall over. Apparently there is a 50/50 chance of experiencing motion sickness post diving, something I unfortunately did have to contend with. That being said, I would do it all again in a heartbeat! And I intend to SOON! Note to self... put faith in people you don't know, they may just surprise you!

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Jetset day…

Noted: Emotional

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Travel Transcriptions...

So I have finally got around to sharing with you some of the exciting moments from my travels last year.

I decided after University that I needed to jet off and ‘find myself’ in other cultures and lifestyles, escaping the British bubble I had always known. It sounds like a standard thing nowdays for us graduates to partake in, alongside the excuse to be continually drunk, dancing and ‘high on life,’ with little responsibly and the freedom once again to be away from home.

These, however, were not my reasons for packing my bag. Having left education after spending three years doing most of these activities already, I wanted to somehow experience life on the other side of the world, break the routine and discover new and interesting ways in which to live.

Looking back, I wish I had kept a travel blog at the time of all this happening, (that was in fact my original intention), but it soon became clear that interenet was a luxury and a good old pen to paper would be the way forward in recording details in the form of my travel journal. I am proud to say that I did not miss one day in this journal for the entirety of three months, something I am now flicking through in order to put pen to post.

First up, the facts:

Date of jetset: September 2nd 2013

Accompanied by: My man!

Destinations: Thailand, Australia, New Zealand, Dubai

Timescale: Eleven weeks

Date of return: November 22nd 2013

Favourite Destination: Sydney, Australia

Most surreal moment: Meeting extended family in Brisbane, Australia

Favourite animal seen: Elephant (Thailand)

Best activity: Swimming with dolphins (New Zealand)

Proudest moment: Jumping 15,000 ft out of a plane (New Zealand)

Funniest moment: Befriending ‘Chow’ lookalike from the Hangover movie, posing for photographs over huge language barriers and Chang beer

Worst moment: Near death experience via speedboat (Thailand)

Nicest food eaten: ‘Fergburger’ (New Zealand)

Worst food eaten: Sweet and sour chicken - convinced cause of food poisoning (Thailand)

Favourite beverage consumed: Lime and bitters (Australia)

Worst hangover: Koh Samui after too many buckets (Thailand)

Favourite Bar: ‘Cheeky Monkeys’ - Byron Bay, Australia

Favourite Beach: Shelley Beach, Sydney, Australia

Favourite restaurant: ‘Hippo’ - Koh Samui, Thailand

Travel Songs: Pitbull - Don’t Stop The Party, Macklemore - Can’t Hold Us

Next time would avoid: A ten hour overnight ‘sleeper’ train (Thailand)

Biggest regret: Losing the horizontal bungee competition to win a free cannon swing - by 2 seconds! (New Zealand)

Best outfit worn: PEA costume… ‘P’ Party (New Zealand)

Wish: My body would adapt better to heat, less fainting required next time

Number of times stomach emptied: 12+ (mostly Thailand)

ONE word: Exhilarating (all destinations)

Home comforts missed: Bed, Hairdryer, Car, Marmite, grab and go section in supermarkets!

Favourite photo taken: Glacier hiking in Franz Josef (New Zealand)

Next time I would pack: Mini hairdryer

Next time I wouldn’t pack: As much!! Thoughts returning home: Depressing Lasting memory: The amazing people we met. Would never want to lose: Passport, rehydration sachets, my man! Note to self… Never leave your boyfriend unattended with a ladyboy, on return you will discover a pole, ‘Jenga’ and a peeled banana!