totally-correct-idv

[totally-correct-idv]

naib, texting eli: hey i'm covered in blood for sexy reasons rn

naib: also i just got stabbed

naib: can you take me to the hospital

[totally-correct-idv]

luca: im officially self undiagnosing. there's nothing wrong with me

andrew: that's not how it works

luca: says who?

andrew: me

luca: and since when have i ever listened to you?

[totally-correct-idv]

naib: is your dick big enough for you to be acting the way you do?

norton: yeah

naib: really? show me then

norton: check your texts

naib: he can keep acting the way he does

[totally-correct-idv]

naib: TEAM ANEWN UPDATE! no one had a homosexual interaction during the match today

martha: why is this a big celebration for you guys?

william: you wouldn't last a day in my shoes man

[totally-correct-idv]

norton: hey do you and eli ever fight?

naib: me and my girl don't argue. he bashes my head in with a rock and i walk it off like a man

[totally-correct-idv]

naib: wait you like me?

naib: like for my personality?

eli: i know, i was surprised too

[totally-correct-idv]

fiona: i was playing scrabble earlier. it was a nightmare

emily: scrabble is fun!

fiona: not when you're playing against tracy. she put down the word "ephemeral" and then i followed that with cat

[totally-correct-idv]

aesop: hey, i'm kinda getting attached. do you mind killing yourself real quick?

joseph: ???

[totally-correct-idv]

norton: shut up bitch

edgar: ???

norton: now that i got your attention

norton: how was your day, beautiful?

[totally-correct-idv]

aesop: why does norton always challenge william to things like he's trying to assert dominance? we are not a pack of wolves

naib: and if we were, i would be the alpha, not him

luca: nah i can smell your pheromones from a mile away, omega 🤣🤣

eli: you guys are fucking weird

[totally-correct-idv]

eli: hey, can i stay with you tonight?

aesop: what happened to your apartment?

eli: naib and mike were playing with a oujia board and now my apartment is cursed

eli: norton tried to help, but he doesn't know how to banish spirits so he's just been throwing salt at them and yelling "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU???"

[totally-correct-idv]

mike: i have a headache :(

norton: here, i have some pills

mike: thanks!

[later]

mike: norton, i haven't blinked in six hours

[totally-correct-idv]

tracy: i'm sorry

william: for what, princess? don't apologize for being crazy we know you got problems

[totally-correct-idv]

eli: naib, you shouldn't be using a straw

naib: i know i know it's bad for the environment or whatever

eli: no, it's just a really weird way to eat spaghetti

[totally-correct-idv]

naib: i haven't slept in 48 hours

aesop: 60. i'm going for an even three days

eli: 74. i'm the democratically elected leader of insomnia

emily: what's wrong with you all

[totally-correct-idv]

naib: good job, bro!!

eli: your tongue was in my mouth ten minutes ago. dont call me ‘bro’

[totally-correct-idv]

norton: do you think i should put ‘getting hit by a car’ as one of the cool things i’ve done

aesop: why would you put that

norton: ...i wasn’t supposed to tell you

aesop: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERENT SUPPOSED TO TELL ME