totsu-desu - Tumblr blog

[totsu-desu]

I wish they're not my real parents. It will be more tolerable that way...

[totsu-desu]

Well... You know... It would be better if all of us will be tested positive

[totsu-desu]

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2:3‭-‬4 NIV

Just like how Jesus Christ who is a God and above all humans and angels took the form of a lowly human like us, all of us should also do the same. That no matter what our status in life. No matter how rich we are nor how great we are, we should always learn to bow our heads down

[totsu-desu]

I'm worn out. I'm at the point in my life when I want to give up. I just want for it to be over already. It's just too complicated. I just want it to end

[totsu-desu]

To my younger self,

Hi, how's it going with your life? I know I can't be there with you and I know that you've been enduring a lot. Don't worry, everything that's happening around you will make you a much better person. Yes, it's hard to endure, there might be even times we once wished of death AND just so you know, here's a dissapointing spoiler from a future you; IT'S NEVER GOING TO BE BETTER. well i know. That's a bit harsh but we can't do anything about it can't we? I wish you luck and I just hope that you never stop praying. Don't be like me. I had distanced my self to HIM. Yes, HIM, the one who give us hope through all the tough times. The one who gave us wisdom, courage and strength to show life what we are made of. The one who kept us alive. The one whom we owe everything of the past, present and the future. KAYA MO YAN. And a little advice from me, LOVE YOURSELF. You don't need to make others too happy by sacrificing you own. And last but definitely not the least, don't change... Keep that heart of yours which melts those of hearts made of steel. Take care

Yours truly,

You

[totsu-desu]

I'll be officially graduating two days from now. Luckily, I was one of those graduates who has achieved academic honors. Yeah, I expected it in a way. I wasn't that surprised not like how I used to be in my first degree. My parents were happy. But amidst those smiles, proud words that they utter from their mouths, I don't feel happy. Deep inside of me, there's this emptiness that wasn't filled by that acknowledgement. I believe it was not just a feeling of emptiness but those were negative emotions piled up and combined turning into a dark void that kept swallowing my happiness. Turning my sincere laughters into fake ones.

I believe it was the root of my trust issues against people. I always knew that deep inside of each and everyone of us there's this evil intentions, thoughts and actions that we try to masked up. Evil thoughts against one another that we try to hide and instead do the opposite.

[totsu-desu]

After 6 months of being home quarantined, I'm starting to feel lonely. I'm missing the warmth feeling that I felt from my friends. The cold look i see from the eyes of those who kinda hate me lowkey. The laughter that my classmates had when I make jokes. The late night walks from CBAA to boarding house.

[totsu-desu]

APRIL 30, 2020: I started a dream to top the board exam. Of course it's not my will but His

[totsu-desu]

We don't need to be the best. We're not in a contest where winning is all you've got to do. We're not in a race where you need to finish things faster than anyone else. We're not in a war where you need to defeat your opponents one by one. Remember that we are all humans no matter our imperfections and differences; no matter how our talents and abilities differ from one another; by the end of the day, we all cry, laugh at stupid things, and shit ourselves in front of something frightening...

[totsu-desu]

A quest for happiness

All of us in this world are looking for happiness. Some of us sees happiness in the form of richness and wealth. Some of us sees it in the form of achievements and acknowledgements that they've received from others. Happiness exists in many forms. It differs from person to person but as expensive as it can be, happiness can be as free and simple as the smile and laughter of those people around you. Smiles and laughter that are indeed priceless and contagious. So keep smiling. Even a pure of a smile can lift up a person's spirit and offer happiness.

[totsu-desu]

I think I had faked my smiles and laugh too much that people think that I never get hurt, sad, angry, nor anxious.

[totsu-desu]

We all have struggles in life, and truth to be told, nobody cares about it. They can either mess you up and think of other ways of letting you down or use you as a stepping stone then throw you out like a garbage after they've used you enough.

[totsu-desu]

People easily see and label a person based on how they react on things and express themselves not keeping in mind that they were never "All-knowing" to execute judgment that easy.

[totsu-desu]

God never ceases to amaze me. He truly is almighty and all-powerful. There are many times that I always thought that I knew the outcome of the things that are going on with my life, not putting into consideration that there is God to Whom nothing is impossible. That he can change reality even in the last minute.

[totsu-desu]

I always give things a try but never did gave my best to achieve it.

[totsu-desu]

Sometimes no matter how hard you try, still you can't force a person to fall in love with you.

[totsu-desu]

One thing I learned in life is that people who are close to you will always come and go; you can't always make them stay. The hard part is that you will always remember them thinking if they're remembering you too but then, there will come a time that this yearning and longing for will come to an end and all that would be left will be memories that will just make you smile once you saw the person.