trans-vincent

[trans-vincent]

I have so many feelings about them.

[trans-vincent]

I don’t know if someone has talked about it before and I just missed it, but the room we just saw in EP 8 is a different one from the one we saw in EP 5 and EP 6.

Based on the bed frame being less opulent I am assuming the room we saw in EP 8 is Paytai’s, which implies that he is the one that owns or at least stores the flogger. That feels like a significant detail.

[trans-vincent]

If Thame and Po really want to keep their relationship a secret, they should just star in a BL together. Then they can act as gay as they want and everyone will call it fanservice. Living together with an army of cats (EarthMix)? Fanservice. Strolling through the market with your hand around your partner’s waist and a baby strapped to your chest (MosBank)? Fanservice. Filming yourself literally naked in bed together (BillyBabe)? Somehow still fanservice. It’s like a life hack for being gay in a conservative country. You can be as loud as you want but suddenly no one will believe you.

[trans-vincent]

im gods weakest faggot

[trans-vincent]

If you keep up with me, I’ll keep on coming back

If you do it too good, I’m gonna get attached

Cause it feels like heaven when it hurts so bad

Baby put it on me, I like it just like that, just like that

I’ve been a nasty girl, nasty

[trans-vincent]

i cant believe im still not over her. we spoke for the first time in 3 years recently and i still love a girl who never loved me back. she was my whole world and i was never going to mean anything for her.

i thought i had moved on. but just one conversation and im 16 again. and if she asked i would take any chances she could give me.

why do i always fall for people who will never feel the same way. just once id like to be loved back. but i cant even find a reason someone should.

im a second choice at best. a consolation prize of a relationship for people who were never my first choice either.

and i dont even blame people for never loving me back. i know im not worth the effort it would take.

[trans-vincent]

One thing I found interesting about the Ramil and Paytai flashbacks is realizing all of the ways Ramil has attempted to protect Paytai.

He tried to directly stop Rachata - failed.

He tried to use his authority with the guards - succeeded temporarily, but clearly failed long term.

He tried to misbehave when Paytai was away - failed.

And now he's promising they can hide him skipping training from Rachata, which is likely to fail too.

Ramil, my dear, it is time to face facts. There is only one surefire way to protect your baby.

(I cannot believe we actually have a gif for this, god I love tumblr)

[trans-vincent]

”trans men are the weakest links of the trans community” my trans male friends and I have lived a lifetime of having our bodily autonomy stripped away to the point of sexual harassment. people talk about our bodies like everyone except us owns them because no one can handle the idea of precious female bodies being “mutilated” by gender affirming care. we are treated like traitors by women and as confused, silly girls by men. we have no spaces in which we belong because even the queer community tries to control our bodies. if we pass as men then we get ousted from queer-friendly spaces, and if we don’t pass as men we’re treated like cringe, theyfab trenders. everything we love is considered annoying. we’re called ugly and sad and “what a shame you guys are men haha”. We have to watch as society uses us as an excuse to ban gender affirming care for young people because our bodies belong to the government, because our bodies belong to our mothers, and because our anatomy is the only thing they see us as. And then we have to sit back as the trans community blames us for these bans. “All of these fake transtrenders are the reason they all hate us” when we’re busy having the women in our lives scrutinise our bodies to make sure we’re not being “infected” by the trans contagion. There’s no space we can belong in. No space that tries to make us feel welcome because either they treat us like women or they treat us like dangerous, cis men.

Every trans man I know has been sexually assaulted. Every trans man I know has been brought to suicide attempts, either due to their families or due to people online bullying them to death. Our struggles are constantly diminished and yet behind the scenes we’re fucking exhausted from fighting attacks from every single goddamn side. How fucking dare you call us weak. We’re going through fucking hell like every other goddamn trans person out there and our bodies are being abused and controlled and scrutinised every day of our fucking lives. Have you seen how TERFs talk about our bodies? How they lament us “mutilating” our breasts, our fertility, our anatomy, all in the name of feminism. That’s sexual fucking harassment, and it’s disgusting. But that’s all they fucking see us as. We’re not human, we’re just defected specimens. Cis women give themselves free passes to harass our bodies because they see us as “one of them”. One of them, but wrong. One of them, but need to be fixed. My mother regularly checks my chest to make sure I’m not trying to flatten it, and she can get away with it because “that’s what mothers do to their daughters.” Even when I’m not her daughter. Even when I’m screaming at the top of my lungs wanting to die because my body doesn’t belong to me. My body stopped belonging to me as soon as I came out as trans, because female empowerment doesn’t apply to me anymore. Female empowerment is now about “correcting” me, to restore my body back to its former glory, because only then was I worth something.

We are not weak. We are strong as fuck for dealing with the shit we have to deal with. And the worst part is, so much of the bullying comes from other trans men. We’ve been taught to hate ourselves so much that the only way to get ahead is to put down our own brothers and treat them in the way we’ve been treated.

There is no weak link of the community because we’re all dealing with absolute shit from all sides, but don’t you ever suggest that trans men are somehow the whiny babies who have nothing to complain about when we’re constantly holding back from screaming our guts out because there’s nothing else we can do.

[trans-vincent]

how busy are you guys that you can't spend a few days sorting beetles?

[trans-vincent]

people who aren't trans masc have no experience being trans masc and therefore have no room to speak over us on our issues. YOU think we have it easy because of our masculinity, but WE do not -- our lived experiences are not to be erased.

[trans-vincent]

it's actually so wild to me that people will say very stereotypically misogynistic things to someone who grew up hearing those things directed at them personally in openly misogynistic ways, and who has a long history of struggling to be viewed as their correct real gender instead of as a woman. and claim it is Actually Not Misogynistic because they said they believe this person isn't a woman.

oh okay yes of course as long as YOU say you didn't intend for that to be misogynistic and as long as YOU say you meant it to be hurtful for entirely separate reasons, well, that's okay then!! you're so normal btw

[trans-vincent]

Ok, I stopped barking long enough to write down some stuff. Let’s talk about the Ramil/Paytai nc scene. I’m seeing some discourse along the lines of “Ramil realized that he was being abusive with Paytai”, “he realized he was perpetuating the violence that Paytai suffered at the hands of his father” etc. and as someone who is a dom IRL (not as a job but for personal fun time), I wanted to share some thoughts and maybe provide some insights.

First, I can’t stress this enough: bdsm play is not abuse. Dom/sub dynamics (properly negotiated) are not abuse.

Ramil is absolutely not abusive in his intimate life with Paytai. He literally doesn’t move a muscle unless Paytai tells him to. I’m not saying he’s never toxic - he’s obviously very jealous and possessive. Tbh though, I think he’s actually not that controlling outside the figurative bedroom. Many times we see him actually defer to Paytai instead of deciding something by himself and imposing it, which is (ahem) more than can be said about Khanin with Charan.

But engaging in bdsm play is not abuse. Pain/impact play is not abuse, it’s not violence. Violence is about inflicting harm/damage - Ramil never wants to harm Paytai, the show makes that abundantly clear.

I also don’t think flogging (and whatever other pain play they engage in) was introduced by Ramil, based on who he is shown to be and the fact that he never moves a finger until Paytai tells him to. I believe that Paytai is the one who initially asked Ramil to use a flogger on him, because he’s the, let’s say, main sub in the relationship and bdsm play (usually) centers around the sub’s desires. Paytai choosing to integrate flogging into his sex life, when and how he chooses, with a partner he loves and trusts, can be a way to reclaim something that harmed him in a different context and find empowerment in it. It is not the same thing as perpetuating violence. Paytai is not a victim in his sex life.

When we see the brief flashback of the night before the bike ride, Paytai is wearing a collar tied to a chain, which Ramil holds as he fucks him. This is also bdsm, and it’s very clear in the scene that they are both having a great fucking time. No one is being taken advantage of.

Now the end of the lace scene: Ramil not wanting to use the flogger (whip) on Paytai doesn’t mean that he suddenly doesn’t vibe with their dom/sub dynamic or bdsm play. I personally think for Ramil, the pain play was never his thing, really; he did it for Paytai. His thing was always the ownership - the reassurance that Paytai is his and his alone, that he’s not going anywhere. He can realize that he’s not comfortable using a flogger anymore, or maybe in that specific moment, because of the trauma they’ve both experienced but still enjoy tying up Paytai, being tied up by him, having Paytai tell him he belongs to him, etc. It can also be that in that moment, what he (Ramil) needed the most was softness. It doesn’t make any of the other stuff bad.

[trans-vincent]

ive noticed that people have a much easier time understanding a submissive perspective on bdsm than they do a dominant one, and a lot of people who claim to be supportive of kink still demonise doms and don't understand the vulnerability involved being a dom.

i realised i was kinky at a pretty young age (around 13/14 when i was first experiencing attraction more generally) and the initial realisation for me was as a sub, partially bc my crush at the time was legitimately one of the few people ive felt significantly more submissive towards in my life, but also because i wasn't accepting the more dominant urges i had. i never ended up in a relationship with her and it ended up being really fucking messy for me because we were dancing the line between platonic and romantic while she knew i liked her but she was adamant she didn't feel the same way. (there was a lot of shit going on for me in my mid teens, including me dating someone where our main thing in common was in fact a crush on that girl, anyway 13-16 was a messy time in my life that im still moving on from years later)

its only been within the last year or so that ive really come to begin accepting the more dominant side of my sexuality. i still have essentially zero real life experience bc im still young, autistic in a way that really impedes my ability to form new relationships and chronically in love with one of my only friends. plus being demiromantic and vaguely aspec limits my options of who i would even want to try dating.

ramil is a character i can relate to and still like, which is pretty rare when i usually see the worst parts of myself reflected in characters, and being able to see myself in him and love him anyway is genuinely helping me accept myself more because i definitely still have work to do there.

These poor boys have both been so traumatized by that asshole Rachata. As a kinky person, it was honestly so heartbreaking for me to see Ramil about to use the flogger on Paytai(a flogger that Paytai was clearly very into given the smile on his face when Ramil picked it up and the way he opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out while Ramil slid it across his face) and suddenly get hit with a flashback of all the times Rachata abused Paytai. And it must not have been the first time either, because Paytai clearly understood what had just happened to him. It's awful when a beautiful and natural part of your kink inclinations is associated with trauma that makes it hard to fully enjoy them. These two deserve to be kinky together without being haunted by traumatic memories.

What actually interesting is that the show had Ramil be the one who got hit with the flashbacks. We have yet to see Paytai associate their kink relationship with his trauma at all. And I think that's because, for him, it's a place of safety. Ramil won't hurt him past his limits. Ramil loves him. Ramil fought to protect him from his father repeatedly. So when they're together, Paytai can just relish in his submissiveness and masochism. Safely.

I think Ramil can do that as well, but it makes sense that watching his father hurt Paytai would be traumatizing and make it difficult to dominate and hurt him in a kinky way.

My heart 💔

[trans-vincent]

omg thank you. ramilpaytai mean so much to me and knowing that other ppl see them in the same way i do is amazing. especially with it being so rare to see kink be portrayed like it is with them where a dom is so clearly vulnerable and their sub cares for them in that way that paytai cares for ramil.

These poor boys have both been so traumatized by that asshole Rachata. As a kinky person, it was honestly so heartbreaking for me to see Ramil about to use the flogger on Paytai(a flogger that Paytai was clearly very into given the smile on his face when Ramil picked it up and the way he opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out while Ramil slid it across his face) and suddenly get hit with a flashback of all the times Rachata abused Paytai. And it must not have been the first time either, because Paytai clearly understood what had just happened to him. It's awful when a beautiful and natural part of your kink inclinations is associated with trauma that makes it hard to fully enjoy them. These two deserve to be kinky together without being haunted by traumatic memories.

What actually interesting is that the show had Ramil be the one who got hit with the flashbacks. We have yet to see Paytai associate their kink relationship with his trauma at all. And I think that's because, for him, it's a place of safety. Ramil won't hurt him past his limits. Ramil loves him. Ramil fought to protect him from his father repeatedly. So when they're together, Paytai can just relish in his submissiveness and masochism. Safely.

I think Ramil can do that as well, but it makes sense that watching his father hurt Paytai would be traumatizing and make it difficult to dominate and hurt him in a kinky way.

My heart 💔

[trans-vincent]

These poor boys have both been so traumatized by that asshole Rachata. As a kinky person, it was honestly so heartbreaking for me to see Ramil about to use the flogger on Paytai(a flogger that Paytai was clearly very into given the smile on his face when Ramil picked it up and the way he opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out while Ramil slid it across his face) and suddenly get hit with a flashback of all the times Rachata abused Paytai. And it must not have been the first time either, because Paytai clearly understood what had just happened to him. It's awful when a beautiful and natural part of your kink inclinations is associated with trauma that makes it hard to fully enjoy them. These two deserve to be kinky together without being haunted by traumatic memories.

What actually interesting is that the show had Ramil be the one who got hit with the flashbacks. We have yet to see Paytai associate their kink relationship with his trauma at all. And I think that's because, for him, it's a place of safety. Ramil won't hurt him past his limits. Ramil loves him. Ramil fought to protect him from his father repeatedly. So when they're together, Paytai can just relish in his submissiveness and masochism. Safely.

I think Ramil can do that as well, but it makes sense that watching his father hurt Paytai would be traumatizing and make it difficult to dominate and hurt him in a kinky way.

My heart 💔

[trans-vincent]

ok so im watching season 1 of pit babe and the ep 6 scene where charlie puts his glasses on babe is giving me ideas. hear me out, student/professor romcom played by poohpavel. hot professor wears glasses bc i need pavel in glasses for a full series. pooh keeps the puppy like charm that he has in pit babe. we get a beautiful scene of hot professor getting bent over his own desk by his adorable student.

maybe keeping the mama/papa thing bc i am much more into that than i thought i would be. or we go for just straight up daddy kink bc why not, it would be hot to get hot professor pavel calling his much younger student daddy.

[trans-vincent]

Ohm's so funny. why was this man reacting last week like that sweet first time charankhanin sex scene was the single wildest more insane thing he'd ever seen in his whole entire life, like this week we wouldn't be seeing his own character taking it in all fours tongue out collar on his neck being pulled BY A LEASH !!!!!