transandrobroism

[transandrobroism]

was thinking abt the difference in how (some) people view women's products as "things companies are trying to sell to women" while men's products are "things men want as consumers" and like. men's desires are constructed by the patriarchy. this is the problem w engaging w the concept of the patriarchy as like, the culmination of every single individual man's active desires instead of a system inherently intertwined with other systems of power. like men are constructed manhood is sold to you! if you think that everything the patriarchy says about women is a lie but you take it at it's word on The Ways Men Naturally Are. I simply need you to rethink things

[transandrobroism]

Here's a key part of the transfemme experience that is very overlooked: when you don't pass, people don't actually see you as a man, or treat you like a man.

[transandrobroism]

[ID: Meme that reads "I bring a sort of "The Patriarchy was defined by Cis Feminists and the Definition Should be Updated To Better Represent the Lived Experiences of Trans and Intersex People" Vibe to Transfeminist Theory that Radfems don't really like" the background is a photo of a man with a backwards baseball cap looking into the distance while standing outside /end ID]

[transandrobroism]

the funny thing about people stereotyping people who care about transandrophobia ass "MRAs who hate women / don't take misogyny seriously" is that caring about men's issues has only made me care more about women's issues. i have only become more critical of systemic and casual misogyny (& collective transphobia) since becoming involved in discussing transandrophobia & men's issues. when you do feminism right it makes you take everything more seriously.

[transandrobroism]

It's funny how universal the "define a type of guy that's ok to hate, and shove guys you hate into that box" problem is.

You'll see something that's like "Ugh, typical straight, cis, white guy. They all suck." and then you look at the guy and he's bi and South Asian.

[transandrobroism]

the transandrophobia discourse is poisoned by separatist feminist theory that terfs and radfems have been maliciously injecting into feminist conversations, so here's The Will To Change excerpts by bell hooks again.

libratory feminism sees no difference between men and women except those manufactured by patriarchy. misogyny is a symptom of patriarchy the system, not a structure by which to interpret patriarchy the system. replacing "sexism" with "misogyny" does not change the nature of the analysis, which is a weak one. patriarchy the system can induce the symptom of misogyny in any person subjected to that system. using sexism/misogyny/male chauvinism is not a useful lens of analysis when looking at patriarchy because women are misogynists too. let's not move backward on that. women are misogynists too and men are allies.

the recent "trans men are misogynists" allegations I've seen lodged against trans men are:

unprepared to be treated like a predator, may cry about it

asked that only trans men attend a trans mens' support group

discussed male loneliness instead of talking about violence against women

all of these are actually feminist discussions. so the backlash seems like angry feminist reactions to Men Having Feelings, which is not a new thing. in fact, hooks addresses it directly.

i see men being mocked for having their feelings hurt, men being mocked for wanting to discuss their feelings, and men being mocked because they're thinking about men and manhood in new and complex ways. exactly what the doctor ordered.

i am not seeing challenges to patriarchy here. I am seeing reinforcement of patriarchal expectations of masculinity on trans men who do not want to perform those expectations. i am seeing separatist radfem bullshit in the assumption that trans men have lost or never had a valuable perspective on misogyny or gender or sexism and cannot tell when the shape of discrimination they're facing has changed. i am seeing toxic separatist radfem bullshit shut down liberatory feminist discussion because one of the speakers is trans in the wrong direction.

[transandrobroism]

OK, but will you love the insane woman who stabs people in the back and does toxic yuri to cope, when he transitions to a man? Hmm? Will you?

[transandrobroism]

I'm sorry but it was too good to disable RBs for so I'll take this hit personally

[transandrobroism]

I think a big reason trans men do not appear in media as often as other queer identities, as well as historical erasure to a point, is because it goes against many women's experience with challenging bigotry. I cannot tell you how many pieces of media exist with "girl dresses as boy to get Privilege or Respect she wasn't given before, but has to reveal she is A Woman by the end as she has to prove women can do The Thing TM too and it's more 'honest' to her identity'". With a lot of trans masc/man historical figures there is constant fighting over whether it was really a women fighting the patriarchy and not a guy struggling with being trans. There is a book about "female husbands and the women that love them" for Christ's sake. We are constantly interpreted as on the border of being super hurt/proactive women for the sake of that class's conscience, and anything else is "taking away" from women's more important issues, supposedly. I'm just tired of all afab people having trouble with their identity being funneled into the "women good, patriarchy/men bad" pipeline or else. It feels like me talking about being a man, even in a trans context, is unacceptable because it *might affect a women at some point

[transandrobroism]

If you call trans people “TMRAs” you are transphobic fullstop thanks for coming to my Tedtalk

[transandrobroism]

“Anti-transmasculinity isn’t real but it should be” is such an unbelievably transphobic thing to say, just in general

[transandrobroism]

how do you not hate yourself for being transmasc when you know so many men in your community are misogynists/transmisogynists?(sorry if this question is too serious for your blog)

[transandrobroism]

idk I think if you see transandrophobia as an attempt to make an opposite of transmisogyny then you see men and women as inherently opposites. which is bad

[transandrobroism]

Trans lesbian feminist Beth Elliot’s response to TERFs who attacked her at the West Coast Lesbian Conference, 1973 (x)

[transandrobroism]

that post going around talking about how a trans man and trans woman both got denied from a shelter and someone replied "at least you [the trans man] had the option even if it was denied" really makes me feel like some transradfems see trans men/mascs/trans people AFAB in general being forced to detransition as not as horrifying as trans women/fems/trans people AMAB being forced to detransition. like they can't wrap their heads around femininity being unwillingly forced on someone instead of being a desirable thing to strive for. like they think trans people AFAB are in possession of the femininity they want so badly, so to them a trans man being forced to detransition and present as a cis woman again isn't a result of transphobic violence, it's "retreating into a position of privilege". like we're dangling our AGAB over them or something.

it's genuinely just baffling to me because honestly, being 100% real with you, as a now-fully-transitioned trans man, i think i would genuinely rather die than detransition and live as a woman again. i've had actual nightmares about waking up as a teenager that looks like a girl again that made me cry. but that doesn't mean i hear about trans women/fems being forced to detransition and think of it as "a return to the masculinity i've been denied". forcing literally anyone, trans or not, to live as a gender they don't feel comfortable in is a disgusting, horrific, and violent act that i wouldn't even wish on the most virulently hateful individual i know, regardless of whether or not they were trans. living as a girl/woman made me fucking miserable, and the constant dysphoria was torture.

i just can't understand why some transradfems simply refuse to entertain the idea that a trans person who was AFAB being forced to detransition is not some gotcha moment that they can call us out for like we're mockingly waving our Inherent Femininity in the face of trans women and fems everywhere. this shit is an act of horrific transphobic violence against us. they can understand it'd be awful if it happened to THEM, of course, but not against trans people AFAB. can they really not understand the idea that femininity and womanhood isn't liberating for those who are unwillingly forced into it?

again, i'm a genderqueer trans guy, and i've found expressing my masculinity to be incredibly freeing and amazing for my mental health and overall well-being--but i know enough about gender dysphoria and the pain of toxic masculinity to understand why a trans person AMAB might not be able to find embracing masculinity liberating or enjoyable. it seems like a very basic concept to understand about fellow trans people. it's legitimately baffling to me that most transradfems can't seem to do the same.

but i guess when you've drank the radfem koolaid, you can't see masculinity as anything but evil and transgressive, so i probably shouldn't be so damn confused. 🤷‍♂️

God, that's so frustrating. They could detransition if they wanted to escape transphobic violence too, but they recognize why that's not generally an option. They're selfish nitwits who can't think outside of themselves for so much as five seconds.

[transandrobroism]

Got a terf in my sideblog and the reply is not worth deigning with a response but the pinned post?

This? This is a trap. This is concern baiting. Be very sure that shit like this is not in your best interest and does not care about you. The goal of rhetoric like this is conversion.

You’ll be welcomed and asked to ignore transphobia. You will be asked to side with transphobes at the expense of trans women. Eventually, you’ll be asked to see that, hey, maybe you transitioned to escape how terrible it is to be a woman?

This may seem obviously a trap but I see people every day buy into this. People like this do not care about you! They want to “rescue” you and don’t let them convince you otherwise.

[transandrobroism]

A very strange feeling that comes from being a trans man is like. I am fundamentally the same person after coming out that I was before coming out. There are some differences (I'm happier and more comfortable in my own skin, for instance, and everyone changes a little bit over time) but overall I still have the same personality traits, same values and morals, etc etc. But after I came out, people who thought I was a perfectly okay and decent person switched to thinking I'm dangerous and untrustworthy, even when nothing about me had changed except the gender label they know me as.