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[transskinny]

It sucks being short bodily because I wouldn’t even technically be underweight at 100lbs

[transskinny]

Why am I transunderweight?

My entire life I have been bodily overweight. Even in my earliest memories I’ve been unhappy about this. Thinking too hard about what my body current looks like (or god forbid what it looked like at my highest weight) genuinely makes me suicidal most of the time. The happiest I’ve ever been in my life was when I was merely chubby instead of fat, and I know that euphoria would only increase if I were even smaller. When I imagine my ideal life I’m always skinny.

Yes, I more than likely have an eating disorder, but that doesn’t invalidate my identity as transunderweight. It’s likely a good part of why I am this way, but I fully believe once I’m actually skinny I won’t feel the need to engage in disordered behavior anymore.

When I’m skinnier, I feel happier, healthier, more motivated to live my life the way I want to. I put more effort into self care when I feel skinny. My self confidence goes up when I feel skinny. I don’t feel as repulsive. I feel like a person again. So maybe my goals aren’t exactly physically healthy, but I know from experience when I was at my lowest weight (still chubby, but not huge anymore) I felt so much better and more confident. It’s better for my mental health to be skinny.

So yes, I’m choosing to transition to be underweight. I understand the health risks and I accept them. I sincerely hope that you all can accept my bodily autonomy in this choice.