trashcomputer

[trashcomputer]

[trashcomputer]

regular day of a soft girl n 2014

[trashcomputer]

I am forever obsessed with this vibe

[trashcomputer]

2014 it girl

[trashcomputer]

so real

Knowing about and believing in rapid-onset gender dysphoria (ROGD) is… a lot, when it’s your life and environment.

I’m watching it happen to my friends. It is so painfully obvious that their trans identification stems from misogyny and social contagion, that it’s escalating, and that they need evidence-based mental healthcare, not blind affirmation. But I can’t say anything critical or questioning without seeming unsupportive or overstepping/speaking over trans people as a supposedly “cis” person.

Being gender critical doesn’t make you immune to it, either. I’ve felt social and physical dysphoria that I can very clearly attribute to the social contagion of ROGD. Beyond that, my peers, online and offline, teach that it’s boring or cringeworthy to be “cis,” and special and interesting and good to be trans. I wish I didn’t care, but I do. I wish it didn’t affect me, but it does. I wish there wasn’t still a part of me that wants to get back on the gender train, even as I know that it’s harmful to me and to other women (and men), but there is.

I resist because I know that it is healthier, more sustainable, and more feminist to accept the truth, to cultivate self-love and self-acceptance instead of denial. And I resist because I want to set an example. I want the other young women and girls who feel the same pressures as I do to see that they are women, that there is a place for them in womanhood, that women are full and complex people and there is nothing shameful or boring about being one.

I empathize enormously with everyone out there dealing with ROGD, in their communities and in themselves. That INCLUDES those who think they must be trans, and those who want to be trans. I have been there. Part of me is still there.

Anyway. Hopefully this helps someone.

[trashcomputer]

I <3 sundays

Reset Sunday guide :

disconnect : Starting by turning off your notifications, this is YOUR time you need to focus on you and only you. You could also delete social media at least for the day, works even better. Don’t answer any message unless it is something urgent, people need to respect your time.

Set the mood : Get comfortable and set a calm and relaxing mood by lighting some candles, putting on a comfortable outfit which makes you feel pretty, turning on some music, anything that puts you in the right mood for taking care of yourself.

Self care: Now you can start taking care of yourself. Start the longest skin care ever (don’t forget the neck), hydrate your whole body (damage from winter cold is no joke), take vitamins, put on a hair mask, paint your nails, massage your face while the mask is on, don’t forget to drink a lot of water.

Clean your space : While your masks and creams are on, you can start tidying up your place. Your mind is clearer when your working space is clean. Don’t forget to spray some perfume in your room for the final touch.

Prepare things for tomorrow : if you have work or classes tomorrow you can pick out your clothes the night before and organize your bag, that way you won’t be in a rush when you’re leaving the next day.

Relax : Now that everything is settled it is time to relax. Go watch Netflix under a warm blanket while drinking hot chocolate, listen to a podcast while doing yoga, go for a walk… Find something that makes you feel calm and relaxed and enjoy that moment !