traumatizedmathilda

[traumatizedmathilda]

could you maybe do one about best friends and the romance of it all

i hope this is what you were looking for!! ty for requesting hehe

@/ the-crooked-library on tumblr / herakles - Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson) / dead poets society (1989) / pinterest / @/kigiom on tumblr / a little life by hanya yanagihara / text message i sent to my best friend last night hehe /@/inkskinned on tumblr / beautiful world where are you by sally rooney / @/ ruhlare on tumblr / tiktok / anne with an e (2017) / thank you for being a friend by andrew gold

[traumatizedmathilda]

the healing adds up- everything is will be okay

[traumatizedmathilda]

maybe a dark remark but sometimes I miss being depressed alone. so much is going well and if not I know I'll figure it out but the main issue is building meaningful relationships and suddenly feeling/knowing the consequences of a depressive episode. being perceived like that is great but also exhausting, sometimes I just want to disappear and be sad alone

[traumatizedmathilda]

Salma Deera, "Salt"

[traumatizedmathilda]

In honor of my birthday.

20 is a weird number. I didn’t expect to make it this long. I still feel like I’m turning 16. Am I supposed to be something now? Am I allowed to be proud? I feel as though I’m starting to live life for myself now. Am I allowed to be proud of that? I guess I don’t have to ask what I’m allowed to do anymore.

[traumatizedmathilda]

I swear every single day I am more convinced that my mum just hates my guts because I'm improving and growing so much in ways she has never been able to. My therapist said she has a very manipulative way of acting towards me and that her love is conditional, and that's correct but also ouch?

[traumatizedmathilda]

i don’t know. i’m barely a person. i just want to be kind and hold someone’s hand. eat an ice cream cone. stare at the lake. feel the sun on my skin. lay in the grass. run through a sprinkler. it’s so easy to forget life is supposed to feel like a deep breath and not a gasp

[traumatizedmathilda]

Not enough people talk about how you work on yourself to get to have that life that you always wanted where you feel safe and secure and happy, but your family is right in the same spot they were when you left. And every time you talk to them is like being sixteen again trapped in that suffocating house that you couldn't wait to leave once you were old enough.

How disappointing it is to not be able to share the joy or be able to talk to them about anything other than the fact that they are still in the same shit they've always been in and they're not getting out of it because they're not doing anything about it. And you can never count on them because they always manage to disappoint you one way or another.

How you don't want to cut ties with them because you love them, so you try to keep them at a safe distance, but it still hurts to see them not enjoy their lives and be as happy as you are with yours.

.

[traumatizedmathilda]

i love my friends

[traumatizedmathilda]

“you’re my best friend, now i’ve got no one to tell i’ve lost my best friend.”

….

[traumatizedmathilda]

[traumatizedmathilda]

on friends and soulmates and that type of love that feels like it's going to burst right out of your heart

@/zmije / @/leptodiera / @/bichopalo / lyrics from two best friends by bb bean / animatedjames on youtube / @/killingmyselfbutnotdying / unknown / @/sadiekane / friedrich neitzsche / katfish draws / @/elytrians / @/wormbus-art aka @/angel-pond / @/mushysuggestion / the unsent project / mhairi mcfarlane / unknown

[traumatizedmathilda]

you are not as damned as you think you are

submit me webweaving posts :)

@chloeinletters @pratikdherange

[traumatizedmathilda]

Was I made from a broken mold?

@camaceall/growing sideways, noah kahan/calling a wolf a wolf, kaveh akbar/soon you'll get better, taylor swift/the last words of a shooting star, mitski/unknown/unknown/ @ryebreadgf/@/geloyconcepcion on instagram/god must hate me, catie turner/words from @/simply.simoney on instagram/I can't breath, bea miller/@holyaches on twitter/she used to be mine, sara bareilles/soon you'll get better, taylor swift/idontwannabeyouanymore, billie eilish

[traumatizedmathilda]

Love that my birthday is coming up and instead of my mum buying something I wish for she is saying those are 'boring' to give. Like okay, you clearly already have an idea of what you want to give to me but maybe do it without saying my wishes are boring?

[traumatizedmathilda]

Who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?

you say you don’t want a boyfriend, but you know that’s not true - Charlotte Green/the voice - Anaïs Nin/the unabridged journals of Sylvia Plath - Sylvia Plath/tolerate it - Taylor Swift/the unabridged journals of sylvia plath - Sylvia Plath/the unexpurgated diary of anaïs nin - Anaïs Nin/ @treebloods/@lovebeing-a-girl/@ sanwtch on instagram/ @onlyanothermundane/@tullispink/I am an observer, but not by choice - @fatimaamerbilal/the prophecy - Taylor Swift/criss cross - Lynne Rae Perkins/Vladimir Mayakovsky in a letter to Lili Brik/what I could never confess without some bravado - Emily Palermo/little weirds - Jenny Slate

requested here

[traumatizedmathilda]

Michael Cunningham, "The Hours" // Anne Sexton, "The Touch" // Charles M. Schulz, Peanuts and Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me—The Smiths // F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender Is the Night // Kelsey Landsgaard, A Soft Wrongness // J. D. McClatchy, "THE DIALOGUE OF DESIRE AND GUILT" // Marina Tsvetaeva, from notes // Yves Olade, Belovéd