trchy

[trchy]

Happy Pride Month everyone!!! Here are a few queer ships I like (there are lots more)

[trchy]

Grieving a Version of Yourself: How to Cope With Big Life Changes

When we hear the word "grief," we usually think of losing a loved one. But grief isn't limited to death.  It also shows up when we lose parts of ourselves. A job, a role, an identity, a dream are all things that may spark the process of grief.

Whether you’ve gone through a career change, a breakup, a major health diagnosis, becoming a parent, or even personal growth that made you outgrow your old life, you might find yourself mourning the person you used to be. That’s okay.

Let’s talk about what this kind of grief looks like—and how to honor and heal through it.

What It Means to Grieve a Version of Yourself

Change is a part of life, and over time, our roles and identify changes.  Sometimes the changes help us grow, and other times those changes cause loss. Self-grief happens when your identity, routine, or worldview shifts so dramatically that you feel overwhelmed and lost. You may no longer are stable in your identity, or you may need to take inventory of your life.

Common life events that can trigger this include:

Ending a long-term relationship or friendship

Becoming a parent or caregiver

Moving to a new country or culture

Losing a job or retiring

Being diagnosed with a chronic illness

Experiencing trauma or a major life transition

Healing from codependency, people-pleasing, or burnout

Even good changes, like growth or success, can bring grief. When you become someone new, you often leave something behind, like a snake shedding their skin.

Signs You Might Be Experiencing This Kind of Grief

Grieving a past self isn’t always obvious. It can show up in subtle ways, such as:

Nostalgia for "the way things used to be"

Feeling disconnected from your current life

A loss of motivation or purpose

Regret about paths not taken

Questioning your identity or worth

Feeling like a stranger to yourself

This kind of grief can be confusing, especially if others don’t recognize it as “real” loss. But just because it’s invisible doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. Sometimes, it’s hard for the person to recognize that process.  They may feel depressed or anxious, without fully understanding what is happening.  It can be scary and confusing, but it can also be a part of growth.

How to Cope and Begin Healing

Grieving the past is not about rejecting who you are becoming.  It’s about understanding the change, so you can fully embrace who you’re becoming. Here are some ways to support yourself through the process:

1. Acknowledge the Loss/Change

The first step is simply naming what you’re feeling. Say it out loud or write it down.  Identify the changes, whether it’s job, family, marriage, loss, or other changes that happen. Understand the emotion that your are struggling to manage, like anxiety or depression. Give yourself permission to grieve without judgment.  This can be a powerful act of self-compassion.

2. Reflect on What You’ve Gained/Lost

While it’s okay to mourn what’s gone, don’t forget to recognize positive changes. Have you become stronger or more resilient? More aware? More aligned with your values? Growth often involves fear of the unknown.  It can also bring wisdom, strength, and new opportunities. Try journaling about how you’ve changed, and what those changes mean to you now, and even in the future.

3. Stay Connected to Who You Are

Even as your roles and routines change, there are likely parts of you that remain constant. Don’t lose your sense of humor, your creativity, your empathy, or your values.

Ask: Who am I at my core, beneath the labels?

4. Seek Support if You Need It

You don’t have to navigate what you are going through alone. Therapy, support groups, or honest conversations with friends and family can help you process and make meaning of what you're going through. So many times, people report to me that their family doesn’t know what they are going through.  Whether in therapy or with your support, please find a way to be honest and let others help you.  Most people really do want to help.

Final Thoughts

Life is full of transitions. With each one, we leave something behind as we move forward.  Grieving a version of yourself is not weakness. It’s a sign of growth, depth, and change. You are allowed to miss who you were and still love who you are becoming.  It’s all part of being happy, for life.

Source: Grieving a Version of Yourself: How to Cope With Big Life Changes

[trchy]

can we please please please learn to differentiate between things that are good but devalued because of their association with women (caring for children, being compassionate), things that are neutral but seen negatively because of their association with women (the colour pink, having long hair), and things that are bad but associated with women because of misogyny (being materialistic, being stupid) because otherwise we’re gonna keep getting takes like “being gender nonconforming is anti feminist” and “not studying for your classes is feminist”

[trchy]

One of my friends was selling his gameboy controlled sewing machine so of COURSE I had to buy it

[trchy]

anyone else y’all got those clicky ankles

[trchy]

does anyone have that quote that goes something like 'white germans under the nazis lived just fine as long as they were loyal to the state, gave their children to the army, and paid their taxes, and in this sense many americans would be comfortable living under fascism' trying to find who said it but google is giving me jack shit

[trchy]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Girls can be good at anything that boys can be good at. 

Girls can be good at math. Girls can be good at sports. Girls can be loud and brave and be good leaders. 

Girls can be strong and fast, just like boys. 

Girls can get angry, like boys can, and boys can cry, like girls can. 

What do all these statements have in common? Well, they’re pretty much kindergarten feminism - as in, if you wanted to teach a kindergarten kid about feminism and gender equality, this would probably be where you start. These statements are easy to understand even at a young age. 

Most adults are able to understand feminist messages that go beyond these simplified basics. Their thinking skills and analytical skills and knowledge of the world are - in most cases - no longer at the level they were when they were in kindergarten, and so neither is their understanding of feminism. 

And yet, ironically, it’s often not the more advanced adult-level of feminism but this kindergarten-level that people will suddenly no longer grasp as soon as we talk about trans people. 

Suddenly they’ll tell you girls are biologically bad at sports and math. Or that girls are biologically quiet and shy and weak. And that it’s unfair to include trans girls because they’re by nature not as weak and stupid and helpless as other girls. Having a penis means you’re by default better at everything. Being a girl means being inferior. 

What a horrible message. We would be rightfully horrified if a 5 year old girl told us any of that. We’d assume she must have deeply misogynistic parents! And yet we are supposed to accept this as a valid argument coming from adults, who are able to think for themselves and no longer rely on their parents for knowledge on gender equality? 

I think it’s important to keep in mind how ridiculous that is. There’s no debate. They’re just misogynistic. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[trchy]

[trchy]

They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.

[trchy]

we joke about Tumblr making your brain unable to interact with regular humans, but today I used the phrase “very slow tigers are chasing me” and no one, NO ONE, understood what I meant.

[trchy]

every time someone says “look how they’re looking at each other! they’re in love!” about a non-canon ship i just think of the kuleshov effect for a second but then i come to my senses and decide to have fun

[trchy]

where would we be without tag wranglers. this links to ‘not canon compliant’. ao3 volunteers i am kissing you on the lips

[trchy]

just saw this clip and i think itd make a funny reaction image what do u think... does it have potential

[trchy]

Just saw a man ride past in a bicycle with another man sitting on his lap like in a bridal carry

[trchy]

We need lefties with actual meaningfully progressive ideologies because y'all were way too fucking quiet about it when they restricted porn access in red states & now they're trying to extend it to the rest of the u.s & like, obvious implications for queer & especially trans & Especially tma people. And also, yknow, oppressing sexuality in itself is already a bad thing and this will just make it less safe for everyone, like how in-person sex work is treated, because making porn is sex work, and sex workers should have rights and stuff,

[trchy]

i had a fever dream about hrt gummies

[tip me im broke lol]

[trchy]

honestly one of the nicest things about watching doctor who in the cinema was how everyone lost their MINDS over thirteen coming back!!! we all get so caught up in the hate online but there were 120 people in our screening clapping and whooping and losing our collective minds over her saying she wanted to say i love you to yaz, and that is exactly the reception she deserves <33