tree-of-growth

[tree-of-growth]

Should t have fucked with the apple tribe

[tree-of-growth]

the audition DID NOT GO WELL. they hated it SO much that they stated that I am now wanted in multiple countries so now I belong to the sea, where is the best place to steal a yacht, hypothetically, completely unrelated because as we know I would NEVER commit a crime am i right???

Aw man…

Well, it sounds to me like they’re insanely jealous of your remarkable talent that they could never even HOPE to replicate even slightly so. I wouldn’t be too worried, babes. We all know crimes are for dastardly low life criminals and not beloved exprophets so uh. So there.

[tree-of-growth]

the one remaining thing we do here at the tree of growth official blog are asks from our dead prophet. im so proud

It’s tough work, but somebody’s gotta do it…

[tree-of-growth]

heh, imagine being a fruity queer… *vomits not out of disgust but rather the raw shrimp I shoved down my throat at 2:03:12am UTC -4 for a audition for a sitcom* oh ok uh ignore that *scurries away*

Uh. Who the fuck said I was gay? Wither and rot.

[tree-of-growth]

I have stolen so many cars

Hm. Cool. What kind of cars we talking? Teslas right ?! And then you’re burning them?!? The Tree approves.

[tree-of-growth]

hey so in reference to your hypothetical angels someone hypothetically could have made a silly little valentine for them

Woagh yeah you’re so right I totally forgot about that - hey hypothetical angel if you’re still around you should come to me or whoever the fuck this is in our dreams - hypothetically - so we can give you your silly little valentine. Hypothetically. In a hypothetical scenario.

[tree-of-growth]

Hypothetically speaking in an extremely hypothetical scenario - no one would ever be ‘bothering’ us and we all miss and love them very much. Thank you for popping in to say hi :) Also we’ve been compiling a small meme list for them whenever/if they come back. <33

[tree-of-growth]

GREAT THANKS A LOT turns out that plan you suggested people didn’t like thank god there’s a airport right next to the place which I crash landed somewhere with more people which the plane is currently on fire yet WET in the lake at the same time hm also I really regret eating those leaves and bark holy shitttt the trees were colorful n shit but my stomach hurts so much shssuhshjjfjjj I will get to Sydney soon… do not understand my willpower… be warned Australians…. I might be in your walls, that is not a joke I found a hole in someone’s porch and im currently just squatting there for the night I really hope I won’t die (also I’ve stolen maybe 30 portable chargers shhhh)

Uhhhhhh oops sorry, you probably just didn’t do it right. Sleep well in your porch hole <333

[tree-of-growth]

cool thanks I found these funky looking trees im gonna try eating the leaves and barks since I have amazing survival skills and that I don't have any money. im in someplace called Birdsville and I made a fake sob story to get in this place for free Sydney here I come

Hell yeah that sounds like a great idea babe

Btw you can get money super easy by running into any establishment that pays minimum wage and yelling “I HAVE A GUN” they’ll hand you like a bunch of hundreds no questions asked. Fun life hack for you. Maybe make sure no one sees your face though - To keep the element of mystery.

Enjoy Sydney send me pics say hi to Gizz and his bf for me

[tree-of-growth]

hey does sand have nutritional value asking for a friend

Uhhhh sure yeah probably

[tree-of-growth]

you cowards think I dide from drywall heheh, it only mAD EEM STRNBER LSOSalso I need water holy shift I will keep on walking and possibly steal a car from the next town I pass by you can never kill me the fruits love my rambling when im off my medication n only using essential oils and eating the wood which I vomited from a couple of times but that's ok im on 2% shutshishuiutduih

Are you ok. Where is Date? Aren’t they supposed to be watching you???

[tree-of-growth]

some togsters

Yooo all my favorite little guys!!! Where’re you, shrimps??

[tree-of-growth]

im nt dead I've escaped to the australian wildlife by swimming there and shady deals and using my survival skills I will dig a hole in the ground and sleep there just like in Minecraft so these kangaroos don't murder me I will arrive to Sydney and spew my wisdom (vegan cheese)

Fruits, moots and gentledoots, we have received a message from the fruit prophet themself!!! This is truly a special day.

Wish them luck on their survival in the outback <3 may the Fruit God watch over you!

(I miss you so much thanks for messaging i love you)

[tree-of-growth]

some togsters

Yooo all my favorite little guys!!! Where’re you, shrimps??

[tree-of-growth]

the tree of growth as fallen, as all organisations with such shitty names will one day. it lost sight of the fruit god entirely, focusing on petty squabbles over divorces and kidnappings. true followers of the fruit god are above that. my faith holds.

[tree-of-growth]

FINALLY - THE LONG AWAITED “FRUIT CULT: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?” POST HAS HIT THE PRESSES!

It’s only been like. 3, 4 months since the saga ended so this is right on time fuck you! - It took a LONG time setting up interviews to record all this information ESPECIALLY since the majority of the ex fruit cult members hate me and I had to go undercover to procure them.

So, at long last - here it is!

The Tree of Growth / Fruit Freaks - Where Are They Now?!

Apple is living their best life (for the most part) under the care of Allison in their shared home in Illinois. They have come out as nonbinary and aroace (and cut their hair!!) and spends plenty of time in therapy and at their local community garden, munching on apples and garlic bread. They also enjoy coloring. Oh wait- oh shit :/ the drywall got them. Oops. Nevermind. Rip.

Fig has joined an incredibly shady secret government organization and is working on an extremely top secret mission as we speak (probably has something to do with hunting down Mulberry though.) She and Cherry remain happily married and are making it work long distance.

Shrimp Man / Cherry Tomato has broken out of jail, hopped the border, and bought a beautiful cabin by the seaside where he will spend the rest of her days in (moderate) peace!

Lemon / Sadie is finishing her agriculture degree and renting a lovely house in the New York countryside with Polaris and their foster daughter Charlotte. They are in therapy and using gardening and animal husbandry to cope. She’s planning on proposing to and marrying Polaris for real once they graduate and settle down a bit more.

Lychee / Polaris is finishing up her astrophysics degree at Cornell with Sadie and Charlotte. She’s developed a particular interest in radio astronomy and has scored an especially exclusive summer internship that will almost certainly lend her to a fantastic career after graduation. They regret their time with the cult but can’t help but miss it, maybe - just a bit.

Date / Allison is currently fulfilling their prison sentence in community service as Apple’s caretaker! They reside in a small bungalow in Illinois. They’re desperately homesick and missing their family (and Percy) but is doing their best to take genuine care of Apple (but maybe not top notch. Who can blame them.) They regret everything :)

Cherry / Aura was deported to Canada and has returned to the Children of the Sun (very fun hippie commune). Technically they are jailed there but the hippies aren’t too fond of the prison industrial complex so I’m sure they’re vibing. Fig brings them “cool stuff that THEY CANNOT TELL the government about” from time to time.

Mulberry / Vrispeta is not dead!! After Area 51 they’re just trying to figure out what to do with her life. You can follow her adventures at @muppetjokernum8ereightfan ! I think she’s on the moon right now or some shit?!

Peach is in physical recovery after being turned into a quadparalegic thanks to Apple and is currently staying with his boyfriend while waiting for their prosthetics to come in. He is in a lot of debt.

Custard Apple has just woken up after a very long nap and is extremely confused.

Acai / Percy died of lead poisoning :( they’re out there rotting in the ocean, somewhere… - their ghost is likely haunting the shit out of Allison :) (Affectionate haunting, of course, nothing crazy.)

Starfruit has gone back to their normal life - but is still very dedicated to the Fruit God! He is also still posting at @squireofthegrove

Orange went home with her mom and is currently working on finishing her One Piece binge an hour at a time.

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If YOU are an ex member of the fruit freaks and have something you’d like to share about your life after that is not listed here, feel free to reach out and I’ll edit you in <3

But enough of those losers - What about me?! The infamous mysterious tog blog… Who am I?! Was I really just Lemon pulling a fast one on the rest of the group? Or was that only a facade ?? Am I an angel?! A crazy super fan?! The Fruit God Herself?!?

Heh. Wouldn’t you like to know.

I’ll continue posting here on occasion. Its members may have moved on but the Tree is eternal.., And I have many… many unfinished plans….

[tree-of-growth]

a home2tuck homo2uck fu2iion au clearly

i don’t know what most of those words mean