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DM, while I’m in combat: “Give me a perception check.”

Me: “Uh, 14?”

DM: “Nevermind.”

Me:

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Auditory Processing Problems

• *someone says something* “what?” *repeats themselves* “sorry?” *repeats themselves again* “pardon?”

•"hey, y'see the red thing at the top of the shelf, will you get it?“ “Sorry, what?” “On the sh-” “oh yeah sure, I’ll get it.”

•*doesn’t hear teacher because someone’s pen is making a scratchy sound at the back of the room*

•*replays video 10 ten times to figure out what they’re saying*

•teachers asking, “why do you always stop writing in the middle of a sentence, just write down whatever I’m saying,” followed by the response, “I’m just processing it,” rebuked by, “we’ll stop processing it and just write.”

•*gets really focused on staring out the window and goes through four songs without hearing a single on*

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Why would anyone want to consume it!?

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Light Visions Tarot is here! 

order your deck now at www.prismavisionstarot.com

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this is the scariest tweet ive ever seen reading this made me feel like im in the twilight zone

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have you ever thought about dragons

- desert dragons rolling in sand to polish their scales

- dragons cleaning themselves like a cat

- frorest dragons finding a creek to jump into and splash around in

- strong, burly dragons ramming into trees and toppling them over to build a den

- hatchlings wrestling with their siblings, practicing their menacing roar

- dragons befriending smaller animals

- dragons with odd hoards; hoards of sticks and rocks, hoards of animal bones, hoards of old car wheels, hoards of tattered books

- old dragons who live on the beach and collect seashells

- dragons with long necks who eat like giraffes

- dragons digging deep holes in the ground and storing food for a later time

- massive groups of dragons, running together like wolves, helping each other and keeping each other company

- dragons breathing fire onto the floor of their cave to make it hot, and then sleeping on it

- dragons

-dragons are great

(feel free to add more!!!)

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strange omens gather at the end of the street

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Added some info because people were either curious or didn’t get it? I mean, I’m 7,000 notes too late to fix stuff since my comment “The twist is they are all dragons” was removed somewhere in the chain. I just really want people to laugh AND learn, ya know? DRAGONS!!

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I read an article about how Millennials don’t carry cash on them and got annoyed and literally yesterday I was out with a group of friends and NONE of us had cash

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Welp, this is just about all I want in death.

Like, I want to be made into a beautiful glass thing.  I want to be something treasured for a long time and rarely talked about.  I want to live in the home of someone who loved me, and touched now and then in silent memory.

I want people to forget that I’m in there, I want the memory of what I am to pass out of the family’s knowledge.  I want to be given away, and put out in a thriftstore somewhere.  

I want someone to buy my ashes for $4.99 and put me in a window and love the colors.  I want to cast beautiful, fractious and curving sunlight across the wall, sparkling and glowing and shimmering, depending on the time of day.  I want someone to take a picture of me with the moon behind me, luminous and mysterious.

I want a witch to buy me and put me in her work room.  I want an artist to leave me on their worktable.  I want to inspire people and make them smile.  I want to be warm from sunlight or chilly from the cool air.  I want to be packed in newspaper carefully when they move.  I want to be given as a holiday or graduation present to someone’s kid, I want to be given as a housewarming gift as a reminder of home.

And god, then, hopefully some day, I want to roll off the table, I want that globe to crack.

And then I want to haunt the living shit out of the future.

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physically my body is here but mentally I’m in the astral plane beating myself up in the target parking lot

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Job interviewer: So what's something you're passionate about?

Me: The Templar Order has completely failed at its alleged original purpose and is in fact the direct cause of the majority of violence done both against and by mages.

Interviewer: what

Me: And considering that Bioware set up the Mage/Templar oppressed/oppressor dynamic completely by themselves, repeatedly making narrative parallels to real-life struggles, it's frankly worrying that they refuse to take the side of mages.

Interviewer: I uh

Me: Don't even get me started on the Chantry

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FUCK ORLAIS part 2

starring: Josephine Montilyet as the babysitter