tripleaaamorphous

[tripleaaamorphous]

I hate that you can both see posts from asexuals saying "the queer community needs to be less focused on sex and sexual desire as the be-all and end-all of things" and posts from alloaros saying "the queer community needs to be more chill about hookups, sex with friends, sexual desire, and sex" and they're both right and necessary! Like. It would be easier if everyone was weird about sex in the same way. Then there would only be one problem to fix. But no. Instead sex is mandatory, but also there is a wrong way to do it (outside of romantic relationships), and you can't like it too much, but God forbid you like it too little or not at all.

I literally saw two posts that were just the inverse of each other from an ace and an alloaro within 24 hours and it's just like. How hard is it to respect people's decisions? To not make statements implying that everyone should have the same approach to sex? To not imply that anyone is having sex the wrong way or in the wrong amount (be that having too much or none at all)? I don't want either of these posts to be necessary.

It's just. Like. Exhausting that the world is full of nuance. You can't say that society either loves or hates sex. No, instead it has very rules you have to follow and I hate it.

Like, for as different as being aroallo and aroace are? They're also both the exact same. We're both doing sex wrong. Either by not having sexual attraction, or by having it without romance.

[tripleaaamorphous]

it’s psychological horror to YOU. to me it’s a romcom

[tripleaaamorphous]

Aro culture is getting to watch way more people than you expected light up at your aro flag and even seek you out to chat with you at Pride because they know they're not alone.

!!!

[tripleaaamorphous]

I'm losing i

Why people get upset when characters have their identities ignored but when it's aro and ace it's "just characters let people do what they want"?

Yep.

I know, right?

[tripleaaamorphous]

"Aro/Ace person gets given a love potion" story but instead of them being immune or whatever, it DOES work, and they realize IMMEDIATELY that they've been fed a love potion because this feeling is so wrong and foreign but everyone keeps laughing off the idea of it being a love potion because "they were probably just a late bloomer" or "no, you just finally found the right person!" and it's just a horror story about how no one believes them even though they know, they KNOW this isn't right and they can't stand it.

[tripleaaamorphous]

Of course everything on there p'much depends on what flavor of aroace you are, but that's also why I never brag about not experiencing those types of frustrations. 'Cus yeah, the joke's on everyone.

[tripleaaamorphous]

It's easier to accept that you're aromantic once you understand that what you want isn't romance per se and it's really the companionship that appeals to you. I never actually liked the thought of being in a relationship but I liked the thought of being important to someone

[tripleaaamorphous]

You can be asexual and still have intrusive thoughts about or around sex. Lots of aces do.

[tripleaaamorphous]

"I never liked roses anyway"

For the last day of ASAW, I have a slightly more personal piece. And also a self-portrait.

Somewhat an explanation below the cut, as well as some more personal thoughts about my aromanticism (and my queerness in general.)

My relationship with my aromanticism has not always been nearly as positive as it is today, which is not surprising at all given how I was raised. Being aromantic meant not being at all what other people wanted me to be, and what I (thought I) wanted to be.

So, figuring out I was aromantic (and trans) also meant learning that everything I’ve been doing throughout my childhood and teen years had been fake. That I’ve been lying to myself because others, especially my mother, wanted me to fit a very specific mould, and my queerness meant I’d never fit that.

That was hard for me to deal with and accept. That I never liked what I made myself do and tried to convince myself I wanted.

The aromantic community, and especially the AroAllo community, has helped me a lot to learn to accept myself for being aromantic and also helped me learn a lot more about myself. Somehow, it has helped me even more accept my transmasculinity than the trans community ever did, too.

My whole life was basically build on doing what other people wanted me to do. Being the perfect daughter, and that I’d have to become the perfect wife to a good partner and mother.

The aromantic community helped me learn that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to do. And it helped me understand what I even wanted in the first place.

It helped me understand and accept that I didn’t want romance or love (roses), or even most types of partnership, and that that wasn’t a bad thing or meant I was broken, and it helped me embrace what I do experience and want; which is sexual attraction and sexual connections (represented here by dill flowers, which are associated with lust).

So, despite how afraid I was in the beginning of being queer, and especially of being aromantic, today aromanticism, for me, means freedom, in a way. Freedom to do whatever I want to do, to make the choices I want to make, and most importantly to just be whoever I want to be.

This is why I came here in the first place to talk about my experience. I hoped I could help other people figure themselves out the way I’ve been helped (and I’m very happy to know that I have in fact helped people with that! Such a great feeling :D), by sharing my experiences.

I hope I can continue to learn about myself and others, and that I might be able to help more people learn about themselves at the same time.

All this to say: I really need to thank the aromantic, and especially the AroAllo community. I don’t know where I’d be today had I not found aromantic people speaking about their experiences a few years ago.

So. Everyone, keep it up. I hope you had a nice aro-week.

[tripleaaamorphous]

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I fell asleep in my friends' arms. It was eleven at night, we were tired, curled up in a small pile on my tiny bed. I had my head buried in my roommate's side, and one of my closest friend's hand on my shoulder, steadying me. It was quiet and nothingness and peace and their heartbeats in my ears, my hands in their hair.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

We pack four people to that little bed, you know. Laps used as footrests, collarbones as pillows, little lights like moonlight in rustic yellow bathed on their faces. The TV plays an anime. The words are repeated by my dear friend on my shoulder, curled close. My legs are asleep; my roommate may be, too.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

The cat curls on top of our criss cross mess of legs and arms and heads on chests to absorb the warmth of us all. She purrs in contented peace. When my roommate and I are left alone in the quiet, she cries, and watches the door for our friends' return.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I will never kiss them but the top of their heads. I will never touch but the warmth of their arms. I will never take more than what's freely given, and in return I put my glasses on the bedside table fashioned from a guitar amp, and when I lean into their sides, I pick up my vulnerability and place it in their capable, tender hands.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I sing for them. I cry for them. I work and I run and I withstand the worst of the world for them, because some days I get to cradle their forehead on my shoulder and some days I get to see their shining eyes.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Maybe to you. But look beyond explanation. I love them. With my heart in my unsteady hands, with my nose pressed to the side of their head, with the buzzing in my feet and the warmth all around Iike the sunset pushing into the window.

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

Is it enough to say I love them? With no strings attached? With reckless abandon and utter devotion and freedom and kindness and fear?

"there is no platonic explanation for this--"

I cannot explain it any clearer. I love my friends. There is no more to say.

[tripleaaamorphous]

op was a terf so here you go: a collection of jughead being aroace

[tripleaaamorphous]

In which I talk about my own relationship with many aro community symbols; how I experience being allosexual, aromantic and agender as intersecting identities; and why I am deeply uncomfortable with any symbols involving the letter "A" that don't encompass, or have the potential to encompass, all a-specs.

(Something I'll add because I fear I didn't make it clear in the essay: I am not against symbols created for use only by people of certain identities. I am against any idea that letter "A" symbols, puns and imagery belong uniquely to certain identities beginning with the letter "A" and are not to be shared by the rest of us.)

[tripleaaamorphous]

Here’s part 3 of 8 from PRIDEnet’s community listening sessions in collaboration with ThePRIDEStudy: Do not conflate asexual orientation/identity with #aromantic orientation/identity. Check out these community quotes! #ASAW2025

Read more at pridenet.org/reports

[Image Description:

Image 1: A square graphic that reads “Recommendation 3: Do not conflate asexual orientation/identity with aromantic orientation/identity. In the care environment, this does not mean you should always address them separately. Since some people split their sexual and romantic attractions while others do not, people should be given the option to have them addressed separately or together.” The text is in a box bordered in green. At the top of the graphic are the words “Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, #ASAW2025”. At the bottom of the graphic is a text box with the PRIDEnet and AUREA logos. The logos are connected by the words “In collaboration with”. Next to this is another text box that reads “Based on responses from aromantic participants” with a green arrow pointing to the right.

Image 2: A square graphic featuring a quote from a community listening session participant. It reads “I'm aro allo [aromantic and allosexual*] and often get mistaken for aroace [aromantic and asexual*], even by health professionals, which sometimes means they don't think of certain sexual health needs I might have.” Under the quote are two text boxes with definitions. The first text box is green and reads: “*Allosexual (allo): Describes a person who experiences sexual attraction or is not on the asexual spectrum.” The second text box is grey and reads: “*Asexual (ace): Commonly describes someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction, abbreviated to ace.” At the top of the graphic are the words “Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, #ASAW2025”. At the bottom of the graphic is a text box with the PRIDEnet and AUREA logos. The logos are connected by the words “In collaboration with”. Next to this is another text box that reads “Stanford University School of Medicine and PRIDEnet. Community Listening Sessions with Aromantic People: Summary and Recommendation Report 2024 January.

Image 3: A square graphic featuring a quote from a community listening session participant. It reads “Honestly, the thing that I find most troublesome is when people, especially outside the community, but I've seen it from people in the community as well, assume that all aros* are like a subset of asexuality. And I have absolutely no beef with aroaces *. [ ... ] Trying to find any kind of representation, any kind of discussion around aromanticism that doesn't center asexuality in the broader society can be a little bit difficult.”  Under the quote is a text box with definitions that reads “aros: aromantic people. aroaces: people who are both aromantic and asexual.” The word “aros” is highlighted in green. The word “aroaces” is highlighted in grey. At the top of the graphic are the words “Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, #ASAW2025”. At the bottom of the graphic is a text box with the PRIDEnet and AUREA logos. The logos are connected by the words “In collaboration with”. Next to this is another text box that reads “Stanford University School of Medicine and PRIDEnet. Community Listening Sessions with Aromantic People: Summary and Recommendation Report 2024 January.

End Image Description.]

[tripleaaamorphous]

Aro culture is hoping you're aro in every universe 💚🤍🖤

(Happy aromantic spectrum awareness week!)

.

[tripleaaamorphous]

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week starts tomorrow! In celebration, we are sharing 8 recommendations from PRIDEnet’s community listening sessions with #aromantic people, a collaboration with ThePRIDEStudy. Stay tuned! #ASAW2025

[Image Description:

Image 1: A square graphic that reads "Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week", in all-caps. The words are separated by text that reads "February 16 - 22, 2024" with "Aromantic Spectrum" above the dates, and "Awareness Week" below the dates. Beneath the text is the PRIDEnet logo. To the left and right of the text are sparkles in different shades of green. The text and logo are contained in a white circle with a black outline. The background of the graphic includes the Aromantic flag colours in a vertical wavy pattern.

Image 2: A square graphic that reads, "PRIDEnet [PRIDEnet logo] partnered with AUREA [AUREA logo]. Together, we hosted community listening sessions with the aromantic community. For Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, we're sharing quotes from those sessions that informed recommendations for providers, researchers, and allies to better support and affirm the aromantic community." Beneath this text is a green arrow pointing to the right with text that reads, "Learn more about us". The text and logos are contained in a white square with a black outline. The background of the graphic includes the Aromantic flag colours in a vertical wavy pattern.

Image 3: A square graphic that reads, "PRIDEnet [PRIDEnet logo] is a national network of individuals and organizations committed to the meaningful engagement of LGBTQIA+ people throughout the entire research process. PRIDEnet does this through connecting community members with ways to participate in research (such as The PRIDE Study and All of Us Research Program) and creating opportunities for community input to inform all stages of the research process." To the left and right of the text are sparkles in different shades of green. Beneath this text is a link to the PRIDEnet website, pridenet.org. The text and logos are contained in a white square with a black outline. The background of the graphic includes the Aromantic flag colours in a vertical wavy pattern.

Image 4: A square graphic that reads, "AUREA [AUREA logo] is an international, volunteer-run, online organization whose goal is to assist the growth of the aromantic community and advocate for its interests through further recognition and education internationally. They assemble information about aromanticism, including vocabulary, research, online resources, links to in-person groups, and printable educational materials." To the left and right of the text are sparkles in different shades of green. Beneath this text is a link to the AUREA website, aromanticism.org. The text and logos are contained in a white square with a black outline. The background of the graphic includes the Aromantic flag colours in a vertical wavy pattern.

End Image Description.]

[tripleaaamorphous]

i honestly think the aro community crossed some kind of event horizon when we started referring to queerplatonic as its own type of attraction, instead of letting queerplatonic relationship mean what it always did... which was a type of platonic relationship different from "traditional" friendship.

on the individual level i don't really care what terms people utilize to describe themselves and their own experiences, but on the community level it frustrates me that we've just created yet another box to sort people into. it's such a devaluation of platonic relationships to be like "this isn't actually just platonic, this is something Unique and Special." wasn't the whole point to validate platonic feelings as equally valid, meaningful, and worth building a partnership around? do y'all realize that this is just a recreation of the exact way people talk about romantic attraction?

again, people can use whatever words they want for themselves and that's fine, i'm not passing judgment and people know their own feelings better than i do. but just... consider that platonic feelings can be just as strong and unique to each person, and you don't necessarily have to assign a new type of attraction to it just to validate how special it feels