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I used to work at an after school therapy programme for autistic children, and am high functioning autistic myself. I was at the bottom of the heap with ‘social therapy and behavioural health’ education. Higher ups were Clinical coordinaters CCs, then the Programme Specialists PS and myself: Programme Specialist Aide PSA. My position was basically to help out the PS and to ‘socially interact’-ie. play with the kids. When one of the children would become upset, overwhelmed, etc higher ups would take over to try to de-escalate the child.

The PSs were able to spot signs of escalation as they got to know the child and were able to call for myself or one of the CCs to take them on a walk to have a ‘break’. When the CCs would take them, they would often continue to escalate. I would take them and five minutes later they were ready to rejoin the group. It got to the point where, the PSs were calling specifically for me for these breaks.

We discussed it in a meeting. When the CCs would take them they would talk to them ask them questions about what was going on, how they were feeling, what needed to be done. I would just walk. I had a loop we would walk, ‘Are you ready to rejoin the group?’ ‘No.’ Another lap, ‘Now?’ ‘Yes.’ Done. I didn’t say anything and they wern’t obligated to speak. Some would vent about the activity and how peers wern’t cooperating. Some would talk about school or other activities that stressed them out. I was there to listen to them, not make them listen.

The child needed a break, not an interrogation.

Gone are the days where children finish assigned chores and run free for the rest of the day. Children in general need an environment where they can do what ever they want without adults adding a lot of unnecessary restrictions. You set up boundaries and leave the in between to them. Let them climb that tree, swim in that shallow stream without an adult saying no. They will learn their limitations on their own

This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?

Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.

So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.

I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.

Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.

Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ ‘Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.

I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.

Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)

I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.

They didn’t like eye contact either.

Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.

Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.

“But they never talked!”

No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.

So you know what happened?

My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. ‘Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. ‘oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an ‘up’ gesture. ‘you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. ‘oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.

“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.

1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.

2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.

Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.

I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.

To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.

And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.

Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Since Autism Awareness Month is coming up, here’s what you should know

Many autistic people prefer to call it “Autism Acceptance Month”: Awareness and acceptance are two very different things. You could be aware of autism, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to accept and understand it

Autism Speaks is hated by most autistic people: Ask most autistic people what they think of Autism Speaks, and they’ll tell you it’s awful. Autism Speaks seems intent on finding a cure, and is awful when it comes to their treatment of autistic people, treating autism like a monster that destroys families

Many autistic people don’t want a cure: Sure, there’s some that do, but there’s a lot that don’t. And they would prefer more understanding of autism than a cure for it

Don’t light it up blue, go #RedInstead: Lighting up blue is often associated with Autism Speaks, many autistic people would prefer you to light up red instead

If you’re a neurotypical relative, don’t make it all about yourself: So many “Autism Parents” out there make posts taking about how hard autism is for them, without seemingly giving much thought to their child, and they get angry when autistic people correct them. Yes, autism can be tough, but I can guarantee that it’s going to be a lot more difficult for them, especially if you refuse to understand and listen to us

Listen to autistic people: This one should be obvious, but so many people don’t do this. Sometimes autistic people get told they’re “not autistic enough” or “not that autistic” when they’re trying to talk about their own experiences. If you want to understand autism, we’re the best people to come to

Be careful about the autism information you share online, check the facts: Whilst Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month should be a good thing, many autistic people don’t like it because it’s also the chance for more misinformation and lies to be spread about autism. Don’t always believe what you read, check for evidence to prove the facts to be true

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Barenboim on musicality. Astounding insight as usual.

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

My sympathies go out to the families.

Did you know? Do you care? Does it make a difference?

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

*As I Layer my opponent’s shirt over seven others.* Getting warm isn’t it? How long do think this will take? *turns to second* this guy walks away in five seconds.

opponent backs away slowly. Turns and runs.

*to second*. You don’t know how many fights this has gotten me out of. But I’m not quite sure what to do with all the shirts. Any ideas?

i was talking with my brothers yesterday and we decided the best way to own a guy who takes off his shirt to fight you is to pick his shirt up and put it on

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

These are really helpful. As a cellist with back trouble staying loose and relaxed and sitting for extended periods of time don’t tend to mix. Good to know and use.

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Where is this Place?????!!!!!!!!!!

So, my mom works at a used book store now, and I decided to go visit her? I walked out with first editions of the Complete Works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the Complete Works of Mark Twain, and The Silmarillian, along with several other books and some sheet music (Handel’s Messiah among others). It cost me less than $20.

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Some dude: Hey, you totally forgot to write a piece like I asked you to

John Cage, about to perform 4′33: Oh, you haven’t heard?

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Yep. Why did I come Here? With Amazon Prime I could have it at my house before you could get it in to your store. Why do I waste time here?!?!

Oh, right. Because I like playing the grand pianos. Ugh.

This is the case at my local music store.

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

The only thing separating you from certain death at 65mph is a painted white line and a mutual agreement not to play bumper cars.

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Could you wait to do that until after I leave? Because of my religious beliefs that makes me uncomfortable.

Okay

“i can’t do that because of my religious beliefs”

okay

“you can’t do that because of my religious beliefs”

not okay

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Spartan Strategies Inc. I think I’ll go into business.

Hero Consulting Incorporated. 

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Stop guilt tripping me Aaron!!!!!

me: wants to play multiple instruments, create art, speak multiple languages, etc.

me: lays on the floor face down for an hour instead

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

I had to get my brother ready for a choir rehearsal one day and the postman came by with a package. I open the door, go through the formalities, etc. My brother is off to the side out of view.

Looking towards the postman ‘Tuck your shirt in, slummock.’

‘Excuse me?!’

Oops. Suddenly I lost all ability to cognitively communicate. I was fumbling for an explanation while trying to avoid a duel. My brother helped by coming into view crossly saying ‘I tried, you do it maggot.’

The postman laughed and we both apologised for a good two minutes. It was the first time he had been insulted to his face since he first joined the army. His shirt tail was indeed hanging out (something I hadn’t noticed) He thanked me for letting him know, and I avoided dying that day.

The other day I answered the door to my postman. I was signing for stuff, like you do, when my kid came downstairs with only his underwear and a t-shirt on.

Now, the postman couldn’t see him from the front door, and I scribbled my signature and said, to my son, “You need to put some trousers on.”

My postman, very slowly, looked down at his trouser-clad legs with a mixture of confusion and horror, and then looked back up at me.

When I explained I was talking to my little boy out of his line of sight, he gave a very solemn nod and said: “I thought I’d put trousers on this morning, but suddenly when you said that, I really wasn’t sure.” 

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

When I was home for two weeks. And it didn’t stop in the morning... ugh.

a concept: heavy rainfall when you’re tucked up in bed. like if u agree.

[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Correct me if I’m wrong but wouldn’t that technically be a Pennsylvania Long rifle? If I remember correctly Daniel Boone took a Pennsylvania long rifle to Kentucky and made it famous, I guess? Not sure. Just thought I would double check.

Federal Communications Commission Chairman Ajit Pai received the Charlton Heston Courage Under Fire award at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Friday for his efforts to repeal the Obama-era net neutrality rules.

National Rifle Association Second Vice President Carolyn Meadows told Pai his award, which is sponsored by the organization, is a “Kentucky handmade long gun” that will be housed at the NRA’s museum with a plaque until he can receive it.

“You’ll love it,” Meadows told Pai on stage.  Previous award recipients include Rush Limbaugh and Vice President Mike Pence.  Meadows said the award is not given every year, but only when someone has “stood up under pressure with grace and dignity and principled discipline.”

Pai, who according to the FCC has been the target of threats, received a standing ovation. FCC spokesman Brian Hart said in a statement, “The CPAC award was a surprise and the chairman was honored.”

The FCC chairman was scheduled to give a speech at CPAC, but instead joined fellow Republican Commissioners Mike O’Rielly and Brendan Carr on a panel to discuss the agency’s work.

During the panel, Pai said he doesn’t play “small ball,” to explain why he took on the fight to undo the 2015 net neutrality rules.

“If the poisonous political culture in which we find ourselves continues, I’ll keep speaking out about that, too,” Pai said.  “It’s not going to deter me from my mission of delivering value for the American people and choosing that over getting a nice headline in the newspaper.”

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[troubadour-on-tour-blog]

Is this some sort of a McDonald’s advert?

tumblr is giving me political compasses now