truthseek3r - Tumblr blog

[truthseek3r]

I'm so afraid. I leave my room to go buy more food. Since I left I treat myself with chicken. I buy so so so many nutri-blocks. Since they are square, the packaging for them is very compact. And heavy. Oh so heavy. Holding the heavy, square box doesn't help my fear.

I stopped in a corner of the small store next to my home. I'm writing this out in my journal. I started bringing it outside. It makes me feel less afraid.

Writing this out helped... A little bit at least. I try my hardest to not read my old entries. I don't want to know how long I spent in my room. I ran out of food.. 2 3 1 day ago. So now I'm out here again. Buying 100 more nutri-blocks. It's one for each day. After I run out... That means I can buy chicken again. 100 nutri-blocks. 100 more days till chicken.

I'll go buy another nugget.

[truthseek3r]

///START TRANSMISSION///

LETS GET TO KNOW YOUR PROTAGONIST SOME MORE.

HE FINALLY LEFT HIS ROOM SO LET'S EXPLORE, SHALL WE?

WOW WHAT A DUMP LOL...

YOU CAN REALLY TELL HE NEVER LEAVES HIS ROOM.

THE CONSOLE WILL NOT LET ME LOOK OUT THE WINDOW.

huh...

///END TRANSMISSION///

[truthseek3r]

///START TRANSMISSION///

HELLO LISTENERS. I HAVE SYNCED THE DIARY AND MY BROADCASTS TO LINE UP BETTER. WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THEY WEREN'T SYNCED? JEEZ.

THE PROBLEM IS FIXED NOW.

I'LL START THE TRANSMISSION ONCE TRUTHSEEKER WAKES UP.

ugh.

///END TRANSMISSION///

[truthseek3r]

///START TRANSMISSION///

...

///END TRANSMISSION///

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

I'm going to sleep.

It has become night again.

I reread my journal. I did eat chicken for dinner. I had some leftovers from lunch.

I wonder when I will wake up...

<first_log >next_log

[truthseek3r]

///START TRANSMISSION///

OH LOOK. HE FOUND HIS STOP. HE WAS CRYING TOO. WOW.

HOW MUCH MORE PATHETIC CAN YOU GET?

HERE'S THE LIVE FEED AGAIN. INCASE YOU FORGOT.

OH. IT STOPPED. LET ME TRY TO FIX THAT.

...

I THINK I BROKE IT MORE.

Fuck...

///END TRANSMISSION///

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

I ate chicken again.

I don't think I could ever get tired of chicken.

Preserving your energy for seeking is important. I write this log in the meantime so I do not forget. If I stop logging I lose track of time. I could possibly even forget what I was doing in the first place.

I already forgot why I was seeking truth. I forgot why I am the last seeker. I forgot why I am alone. That is why I started to log.

This old journal of mine has been empty for ages. It's always been sitting there. In my room. Or did it appear one day?

I forget if I don't write it down.

I wonder what I will have for dinner.

Probably chicken.

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

IT SEEMS MY TRANSMISSION WENT THROUGH.

TO THOSE LISTENING.

THIS IS YOUR PROTAGONIST.

HA. PRETTY PATHETIC RIGHT?

HERE IS A LIVE FEED OF WHAT HE SPENDS EVERY DAY DOING. OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

WHY ARE YOU LISTENING? IF I KEEP POSTING HIS LOG WILL YOU KEEP LISTENING? EVEN THOUGH IT IS HIS? EVEN THOUGH IT IS MUNDANE?

DO YOU CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT HIS PERSONAL LIFE, OH DEAR LISTENER?

Whatever. ///END TRANSMISSION///

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

///START TRANSMISSION///

TESTING... TESTING...

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

One day has passed. I am hungry. My body is similar to time. It doesn't move unless it needs to. I am able to seek truths because of this.

Food is easy. The hardest part is leaving my house.

The stairs are broken. They have always been broken. That is why I must use the elevator with the ghosts. I am alone.

I found a convenience store. I go to the same one whenever I get hungry. It isn't too often.

I always order the same thing. I don't think the ghosts notice.

I have gotten my food. It is time to go home. The stairs are broken.

Elevator it is.

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

There are 4 truths about this world.

The fundamental truth:

1) the only way to find the truth is by seeking it

2) I am the last seeker alive

3) I am alone

and

4) life is given and taken carelessly.

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

Back on the train.

I'm going home. Was the egg the 4th truth? I will not know until later. I must rest for a while.

Seeking takes a lot of energy. Energy that must be preserved. How long till my next hunt?

3 days? 3 weeks? Three months? What is a month?

A month is about 30 days. That is a lot of days.

There are 12 months in a year. That is a lot of days.

Days are slow. The earth is slow. I know one thing about tomorrow. It will come soon. After I sleep. I will be there tomorrow. I always know that about tomorrow.

The train stops. I know this is my stop.

The station is empty. And grey.

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

I see a tree. It was not a bush after all. It was one. One big, huge, tree. I am suddenly cold. I know what I must do. I see a hole in the tree. I reach my hand inside.

My hand turns black from small dots moving on my skin. I keep reaching. I feel a cold pebble.

I make a fist around it, pulling it out of the tree.

The pebble is dark, but I brush it off. Now my hand and pebble are clean.

It is not a pebble, but an egg. Perfectly white. Not grey, not black, just white. I cup it in my hands.

It is cold. Eggs shouldn't be cold?

I look into the egg. I look and I realize.

It is dead.

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

I hold the flower, tracing it to it's roots. This isn't a flower. It's a bush. I need to find the center.

I walk into the bush. When I enter, I realize how large it is. Roots tangle alongside the dead leaves below my feet. Branches tug at my skin, creating small red marks. I keep walking.

I keep going. I find myself in the center. I am surrounded by plants. All I can see is green. Green. Green. Where is the grey? Where is the black? Where is the white?

I look down at my shirt. It is not white, not anymore. It is now green and brown and red.

My shorts are now green and brown and red.

I am now green and brown and red. I am covered in mud and blood and chlorophyll. Brown, red, green.

My vision is blurry. My head is hurting. I am close. Very. Very. Very. Close.

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

The empty train is followed by an empty station. It is to be expected but it still feels like something is missing. It doesn't matter though. I am not worried. I am not. I am not.

Worried is good. The truth is scary. That means I'm getting closer.

I'm going to leave the station now. The station is grey. Very very very grey. Everything is black or white or grey. Things that are lies are black or white or grey. Everything is lies.

How long has it been? How many times have I looked for the 4th truth? I do not know. Time never seems to pass. Time seems to only pass when it needs to. It rarely needs to.

It is nice, though. I like it. It's comforting knowing that the world only moves when it is ready.

I found a road. Grey and white and black.

I wish there were flowers. What's a flower? I don't know anymore. I knew at one point... I think.

That. That's a flower.

I found a flower?

<first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

-#4-

Today I begin my search for truth 4. The first three truths were the hardest to find. It should become easier from here out.

Because I am alone I do not need to speak. There is no point to it.

Finding truths is easy as long as you know how to do it. I am good at it. Much better than everyone else. That is because they do not know how. I know how.

How to find the truth:

1- follow your gut.

2- always keep searching

3- the truth is always scary. That is why people lie.

4- you will only know it was truth when it passes.

I found number 3 a few months ago. It was hidden in an alleyway.

Number 4 is further though. That is why I am on the train. I do not know where I will stop. I will stop when I must.

The train is empty. It always is and it always will be. I am alone.

Part of truthseeking is always looking. That is why I practice. I play I spy with myself.

I spy... Something white.

The train.

I spy... Something grey.

My shorts.

I spy... Something large.

The world.

I spy...

The train just stopped. It is my stop.

I know it is. <first_log

>next_log

[truthseek3r]

There are three truths about this world.

The fundamental truth:

1) the only way to find the truth is by seeking it

2) I am the last seeker alive

And

3) I am alone

I must look every day to learn new truths about this world. Too many people tell lies. The world is full of them. Looking for truths is like finding a a piece of hay in a pile of needles. Dangerous. However, if I don't seek the truth, what will happen to it? To me? That's why I must continue.

>next_log