tryingmybloodybest

[tryingmybloodybest]

I don’t want to hustle and grind, I want to make art and see the people that I care about.

[tryingmybloodybest]

Sometimes I think I hear things. Like something that’s behind a wall or in the other room that you can’t quite make out if you actually heard it or not. Sometimes it’s a phone ringing with a distinct tone of a landline which we don’t have. Sometimes it’s the service bells at work, sometimes it’s voices that I can’t make out what they’re saying.

Sometimes I hear real things, like my mother and her partner talking but I can’t pick out what they’re saying and my brain fills in the muffled words with awful things.

I can never be sure I didn’t hear those things because that is what I heard, whether or not they were actually said is different.

[tryingmybloodybest]

Gotta go on a walk to pick up my meds, pray I come back in one piece smh

[tryingmybloodybest]

Seriously wtf did I do. I’m throwing up now. It’s been one fucking week and in that one week I’ve, fractured my finger, had cancer cut out of my face, burnt myself at work, gotten a cold, nearly fainted on three separate occasions (not from lack of food) and now a stomach bug. What karma have I built up for this bullshit??

[tryingmybloodybest]

Bruh and now I’m sick again. What the fuck, what god did i piss off??? I’m booking another doctors appointment because what the fuck.

[tryingmybloodybest]

Got my cancer cut out, the local anaesthetic has worn off and it does not feel good 👍🏼

Now I gotta go to work with this massive white bandage on my face for a whole week.

I’ve been coming up with responses for when people ask what happened because my regulars be nosy af.

Here’s what I’ve got so far, feel free to drop any suggestions.

- I tried to cook an egg in the microwave

- I tried to befriend a goanna

- I sat too close to the microwave

- turns out it wasn’t a dog

- bees.

- I didn’t eat my crusts

- there was a mosquito

- I’m not very good at shaving

[tryingmybloodybest]

So uhh I drew this 👉🏻👈🏻 do you like it?

[tryingmybloodybest]

Fractured my finger at work today and cried in front of all my coworkers and my boss 👍🏼 fml

[tryingmybloodybest]

Fit check for the ren faire this weekend.

[tryingmybloodybest]

I’ve got the zoomies

[tryingmybloodybest]

I think I’m dying. I’ve lost a ridiculous amount of muscle, I turned blue while training, I’m so fucking exhausted all the time and last night I kept having momentary paralysis. My speech would trail off then the only thing I could move was my eyes, my body went limp and I COULD NOT MOVE ANYTHING. My partner started freaking out and asking me to squeeze their hand if I could hear them but I couldn’t, the best I could muster was a twitch of the pinkie which went unnoticed. It was terrifying it’s all terrifying every little thing my brain goes straight to, dying. Rotting from the inside out. About to be on deaths door.

[tryingmybloodybest]

I just hit my goal weight 55kg boiiii

[tryingmybloodybest]

I just had the biggest cry I’ve had in… years probably. I’ve never cried like that, I was hyperventilating, my teeth were chattering and I just couldn’t stop… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

[tryingmybloodybest]

I’ve stopped working out and though my weight has stayed the same I’m far more squishy than I was. I’m losing my muscles so quickly. It’s so cold how do yall find the motivation to move?

[tryingmybloodybest]

Heyyyy soooo I’ve got skin cancer on my face… it’s a rather aggressive form of non melanoma and they’re gonna have to cut a section of my face out. I don’t know yet if it’s spread to anywhere else but uhhh yeh I’m terrified.

I’m going to have a scar on my face, hopefully it’s a cool a scar at least.

I’m only 23 so uh even if you’re young, I recommend getting a check if you’re concerned.

Mines a squamous cell carcinoma. It looked like an acne that never healed and kept scabbing over and it was there for months. Which is what made me get it checked. And it’s lucky I did because they can be really rapid growing.

[tryingmybloodybest]

I Wanna be as skinny as the models on temu

[tryingmybloodybest]

I need new friends. One of my besties actually doesn’t give a fuck about me and that shit kinda hurt.