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It's come to the point where I go on my phone in my dreams.
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We are all worms in the apple that is this world
Andrew Dixon
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Anyone with a smart car would never slash tires, if they did it would be with asparagus
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When I was younger I thought American Express was the same as Trojan Condoms
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I just ate McDonald's for the first time in like a year. My teeth feel rotten and my stomach is dying.
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What the frick-frack. Someone killed my pet bee. They sprayed him because they thought he was dangerous. He was on a leash, what a shame.
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I was trying to sleep in the car and my sister was tickling me. I thought it was her hand or something so I smacked it. Turns out it was an open bag of chips. Guess who has to clean it...
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I don't know why people are giving me weird looks today. I remembered to put on pants (this time anyway).
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Does anyone else get depressed after watching a video about child prodigies? Like a feeling of overwhelming dread rushes over me. I'm a talentless prick who is gonna die alone, but I guess it's ok. The world is deteriorating anyway. I'll be lucky to make it to the age of 30.
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I want vine back. I have too many memos filled with vine ideas.
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My definition of tired is different from yours. I don't care if you can function on 3 hours of sleep, because I can't. Get over yourself.
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I've done it. I've removed hangnail without bleeding.
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Idk, I'm tired pt.1
I think once we get past this B.S. idea that when a new year comes it's a chance to reinvent yourself only then we can improve. You don't need to wait until new years to start thinking about improving. You can start now.
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