tsukiyamashit

[tsukiyamashit]

a way with words this person has

[tsukiyamashit]

I love how throughout Tokyo Ghoul, Touka and Nishiki are absolutely DISGUSTED by Tsukiyama because of his eating practices but like...

At least he eats the people he kills???

Touka and Nishiki are like: wow u rlly just did that huh u trash

And then five seconds later they kill a man for looking at them the wrong way like????

I’m supposed to prefer these people over the purple king????

[tsukiyamashit]

HALF

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Haise: What’s worse than heartbreak?

Akira: Stepping on your cat’s tail and not being able to explain that you’re sorry.

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Juuzou: Fall in love? I can’t even fall asleep fam.

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Hide: I’m weak in the knees

Hide: not because I fell in love

Hide: but because I fell off my fucking bike

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Kimi: So, how’s motherhood treating you?

Touka: Good. I didn’t expect this much crying, though.

Kimi: Don’t worry, it’s normal for babies.

Touka: What? The baby’s fine. I was talking about Kaneki.

Kaneki, sobbing from the nursery: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! 

[tsukiyamashit]

Urie: I’m a confident driver.

Shirazu: you nearly ran over Sasaki!

Urie: confidently.

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Haise, on Twitter: There has been confusion about my relationship status lately, so this is to clear up things

Haise: I am taken… for granted, every single day of my life

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Haise: Saiko is at that tender age where she only has one thing on her mind.

Akira: School?

Haise: Becoming a magical girl.

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Juuzou: I poisoned one of our drinks, but I forgot which one.

Seidou: You WHAT?!

Juuzou: With the way this team meeting is going, I hope it’s mine.

[tsukiyamashit]

Akira: Here, I got us fake IDs.

Seidou: To drink?!

Akira: To vote.

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Urie: Okay, I admit I can be a little petty sometimes.

Mutsuki: You once edited a Wikipedia page just to win an argument with me.

[tsukiyamashit]

Akira, drunk: If cats knew what sin was they wouldn’t even care.

Seidou, just as drunk: Yeah I don’t care, fuck trigonometry.

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Akira: If they’re too spicy, you don’t have to eat them-

Seidou, aggressively eating Hot Cheetos and crying: fUcK oFf

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Urie: *Fast forwards all the way through a movie*

Mutsuki: You can’t just skip to the happy ending

Urie: I don’t have time for their problems

[tsukiyamashit]

dating Mary Saotome headcanons

warnings/genre: fluff headcanons, some mentions of angst, mild violence, harassment, dating headcanons, implied female reader

a/n: my favorite girl!! I’m going to be doing a lot of female characters x female readers, and then male characters x male readers, but I still have tons of gender neutral fics being written and edited rn!! planning a very wordy one for obey me soon >:)) enjoy!

•the most likely way for you guys to meet is by Yumeko

•I can’t really see her being able to swoon over anyone who bested her or lost to her, so you’re probably a member of the Yumeko gang! :D

•Mary is very confident and takes a lot of charge in her relationships

•she isn’t very romantic tho, she’s more casual and just enjoys your company. She doesn’t like being super open about how she feels, but she really does love you.

•it’s just difficult for her to express it in the traditional sense :((

•but!! She does express it her own special ways

•her confidence and pride? now shared with you!

•she’s your number one hypeman when gambling, loves watching you destroy your opponents

•she orders around housepets to be footrests for you. Only the best backs, they can’t be too bony.

•if you’re not the best at gambling, she’s willing to teach you, but she’s not exactly the best at mentoring someone

•she expects u to learn the material and learn it fast

•but she will throw hands with whoever beats you in battle, she doesn’t mind consequences

•okay yes she does, she’ll throw multiple snarky remarks.

•one time someone tried lifting your skirt and she dove in really quick with a few very not safe for school words :))

•if you’re not from a wealthy family, she’s extremely protective of you as she knows exactly what it’s like to be considered prey

•she never wants you to face the humiliation she did

•if you’re from a wealthy family, she really won’t care but she’ll make some teasing remarks about your wealth. it’s just in her nature, nothing too serious.

•hmmm I feel like as a girlfriend she’ll honestly be kinda toxic at first as she tends to brush off other people’s feelings

•in all honesty, if you’re more of an emotional person you really would have to be close to Mary to date her, as she’s just too nonchalant about other people’s feelings

•her difficulty expressing how she feels is also trouble in relationships :))

•u rlly do have to be patient with her.

•however that’s sad and lame let’s get onto some happier stuff!!

•cuddling with her is rare

•she just isn’t touchy feely, it’s not her style, but she likes being little spoon.

•pls accompany her to gamble it’s a fun sight to see her get all sadistic and cruel

•even better when you join in!!

•only if u want to, she’d never actually pressure u to gamble unlike Yumeko

•she understands that not a lot of people enjoy the risk factor. Some are doing it to survive, she gets that.

•but if you genuinely enjoy gambling u two are a power couple

•honestly i could imagine her being a girlfriend who loves showing off her partner

•she won’t do it in front of you, but Yumeko will always gush about how much she talks about you

•she loves doing your hair

•she did matching pigtails with you once, it was so cute!!

•honestly I can see her as being very possessive and jealous

•but she also doesn’t wanna say anything because she doesn’t control you, you’re her equal

•when she’s upset it’s better if you take charge and talk to her about it

•she loves positive affirmations that she’s a good girlfriend because she feels like she rlly isn’t

•gets you flowers every now and then

•writes u letters that aren’t romantic at all, probably saying stuff like “ur cute I like you,” or “ur dumb. come kiss me in the library.”

•she rlly doesn’t like PDA pls don’t no PDA

•it’s not that your affection isn’t welcome, she just rather have her reputation upheld than kisses

•ofc if u went to the school you’d understand,,

•honestly, she’ll hold you like a trophy at most.

•showing you off during gambling.

•”this is my girlfriend, see? and she may be an idiot, but this idiot outsmarted you!”

•she’s not the kindest tbh she prefers showing her affection through gifts

•gets all flustered when you get her gifts

•don’t get her anything extravagant she’ll cry

•often the ordeal between you is trading sticky notes or personalized poker cards with little writings on them

•will shame u if u don’t have good music taste

•doesn’t like seeing you cry tho so she’ll never insult u that seriously

•honestly her insults are childish, you fight the urge to laugh everytime she tries to insult your pride

•if Yumeko gets touchy with you she’ll get very upset and kinda annoyed

•admittedly Yumeko knocks her confidence down to a 7/10 when it used to be a 1000/10.

•it’s kinda like seeing your girlfriend run away with the idea person

•”oh she can gamble,,she’s rich,,,she’s prettier than me, she’s nicer, god...”

•rambles and mutters to herself when she’s frustrated which is a tell tale sign of jealousy

•to comfort her u rlly just have to reassure her u only have eyes for her, and she’s the only girl for you.

•she is, she’s a sweetheart :)

•dates aren’t often. They usually are gambling sessions or getting coffee

•she never really goes all out with dates, as long as you’re with her, it’s a date.

•ok this part is very female-reader heavy so pls stop reading if that makes you uncomfy!!

•ok so this school is bat shit crazy and there’s gonna be a couple folks with very mean ideals

•for example, a few dudes pulled your hair and called you mean names and Mary wasn’t there

•you were walking with Ryota and just trying to enjoy a normal day when they grabbed you and started yelling rlly mean insults

•ryota is HECCING useless so he just watched and tried yelling

•of course his pleas for them to stop were drowned out by many homophobic statements calling u very mean things and shaming u for dating a girl but it’s the thought that counts

•Mary came in with Ririka, looking like she was about to burn the school down

•Ririka was wearing her mask as well so it rlly sold the effect

•started yelling sharp insults and degrading the guys as much as possible

•”you want to talk to my girlfriend like that? huh? talking to her with that house pet tag? Who do you think you are?!”

•ryota had to hold her back while Ririka silently handed you a handkerchief

•Mary was very upset for the rest of the day, not at you, but just evidently ticked off

•”hey Mary?” She kinda just blinked at you and sighed, still very moody.

•”what?”

•”I love you.”

•took her a second to process that

•nearly had a stroke

•her brain cell was bouncing around her head as she looked at you, her expression softening.

•holy shit you were adorable

•”I love you more.”