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rip nicolas de lenfent you would’ve loved tortured poet department by taylor swift

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figure skaters skating to the iwtv soundtrack you will always be famous (x)

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doomed pussy got me following the path of my undoing

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we did it

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when ppl say middle aged please refer to ppl at least 50 years old. if that guy is barely in their 30s I’m gonna tear you asunder

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[covered in blood, with tears in my eyes] I AM VERY YOUNG AND I AM LEARNING HOW TO LIVE

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[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

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has anyone else ever had a fanfic that just... haunts them? like it's been months and maybe even years since you read it, but it just lingers with you and you can never truly leave behind the imprint it made on you? and maybe it's just a single line, one sentence that you can't shake off, that takes up residence in your mind and stays there, feeding into your psyche and subtly influencing your brainspace and maybe even your writing or other works?

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tumblr graveyard shift (online when mutuals are sleeping)

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hear me out x.X

a fic where baachi is an insufferable lil shit, and notices deva trying to rizz up varadha in khansaar, and he corners deva (deva lets him) and says:

"don't mess around with my brother. he's in love with someone else and he can't move on from them"

followed by deva actually believing him and getting jealous & baachi having absolutely no idea that Deva IS That Guy™

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analysing varadha's psyche

a deep dive into the workings of his mind

varada, because of his childhood, has always seen love as something to be worthy of, given to those who either have inherent value or have earned it.

and even though he instinctually knows, deep down, that deva will protect him, and trusts deva to come when he calls, it still shocks him when deva does goes to extremes or places varadha's regard over his own.

he definitely doesn't understand it, especially with his own view of himself; and everytime deva shows up for him, he has the thought 'this is the farthest deva will go for me' and is proven wrong each time.

but we see him grow familiar with deva's loyalty and devotion to him, with the more time he spends in deva's presence, which leads us to our next point:

2. varadha does not ask for things, because he's faced disappointment enough. he's tired of not receiving or being able to hold onto that which he wishes for – and it's led him to a point where he cannot imagine the privilege of 'wanting' anything for the sake of it.

this is very common in those who have been raised in an unhealthy environment or have had a deficit of love or safety – he's had to tell himself "no" so often, that he finds it very hard to ask for things.

which is why it's also very fitting that deva understands him so well, and can anticipate what he needs, even before varadha has to figure out how to ask.

we see varadha get more comfortable towards the end of the movie though, where after they've fought together, he says he wants the kingdom.

he doesn't phrase it as a request to deva specifically, it's more of a goal for himself. but the fact that he has this desire, and wants something specific, tells us that he finally feels secure enough to think beyond survival and safety.

3. in the present, he carries out all duties as king solely because he is obligated to. it is definitely not something his heart is in.

even when he asked for the throne, it was WITH deva by his side, right after the adrenaline rush of fighting side by side with him.

otherwise, varadha had actually given up a while before the ceasefire, just wanting to make sure the people around him would be safe, even if he died:

when rudra touched his mukku poga again, he had been completely capable of fighting back, but he'd lost all will to. the only thing that changed his mind – the only thing that had made him not only want to live, but want to strive for more – was the chance that he would get to have it and simultaneously have Deva next to him as well.

now that deva is gone, and their relationship messed up, he knows deep down, that none of this is really worth it, but he forges ahead because the responsibility of a kingdom has fallen to him, and if not him, it will end up in the hands of those who hate him and would do worse things to him than death.

3. varadha does not like calling deva 'devaratha' (the only time we've heard him say 'devaratha,' is when they were at the gate, for official purposes)

he still calls him 'deva' in the present, even though they're not on good terms, especially after deva hurt him seven years ago

he clearly cannot bring himself to call the other anything other than 'deva,' which implies a complete refusal to distance himself from deva anymore than he already has.

4. he's very self-disciplined and very resolute when he decides to be. once he has made a decision, he's not intimidated and cannot be threatened into doing the opposite, which also makes him very loyal once he's devoted himself to a cause.

his father definitely tried multiple methods to get the truth out of varadha, but we know that varadha stayed silent and never revealed anything that could put deva in danger, even to the people he trusts with his own life.

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more people need to be aware of the homoeroticism of Salaar RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

sometimes its about friendship and brotherhood but not this time. THIS IS STRAIGHT UP ROMANCE.

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Do you miss all your old selves?

no they are inside of me i hug them everyday and say u did such a good job

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going from the reddit star wars fandom to the tumblr star wars fandom is giving me insane whiplash. the upside is that people aren’t bitching about every single imperfect detail in the entire franchise, but the downside is that i’ve seen more fanart of obi wan and commander cody tenderly knowing each other than i have ever wanted to in my life in the last three hours and it has probably fundamentally altered the way i interact with the entire franchise