turn-your-gays

[turn-your-gays]

📼

Something really random that I didn't feel like working more on.😭

[turn-your-gays]

Gerard Keay is the most LGBT character of all time because he had ten minutes worth of screentime and the fandom collectively said "I think I met that guy at pride once.”

[turn-your-gays]

season 1: I'm Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of Magnus Institute, London. My professional opinion is that this is all horseshit and everyone that isn't me needs psychiatric help. Statement ends.

season 2: Supplemental: God lives inside the printer and he keeps telling me my assistants are murderers. I am inclined to believe him based on the fact that Martin told to have a nice day. Innately suspicious behavior.

season 3: My only friends are my ex-girlfriend, her cat, and the many scars I've gotten from various monsters and fear cultists.

season 4: You know, just being socially adept would solve a lot of my problems. Unfortunately, I was traumatized so thoroughly by age eight that I learned the best way to make friends is to blink at them slowly until they get the idea. This does not work when your evil patron god uses eyeballs to devour fear.

season 5: Either Jonah Magnus tells us where he took all the good cows, or my boyfriend and I bash his head in with a lead crowbar. It's his choice.

[turn-your-gays]

Did some sketches of different tma characters💕 (if you want me to draw a certaint character, let me know and I put them in my list 😌💕)

[turn-your-gays]

Wanted for murder? Not so bad actually, he's got a cat!

More silly art:

[turn-your-gays]

MAG Avatar Fuckability Tier List

It’s here. You’re welcome. Avatars are ranked most fuckable (S Tier) to least fuckable (F Tier). They are also ranked within their respective tiers. In true Robert Smirke style, I will not be accepting criticism. Fight me.

S Tier

Have special traits that actively contribute to the sexual experience.

Daisy Tonner (Hunt) - excellent strength and stamina. Essentially has a werewolf form, and we all know how hot Tumblr gets for werewolves. Deserves the #1 spot.

Jared Hopworth (Flesh) - will mold his body into whatever shape you want. May also mold your body into whatever shape you want. Can help with your dysphoria, might steal your bones.

Annabelle Cane (Web) - if you’re into bondage. Webs that are never too tight or too loose, and that can move on their own.

Tom Han (Flesh) - an avatar of the Flesh absolutely knows his way around a body. Also an incredible cook. He will make you dinner first, just don’t ask what’s in it.

Jude Perry (Desolation) - perfect temperature control, and hard into sadism. She will ruin your life, but the sex will be fantastic.

Breekon & Hope (Stranger) - two for the price of one, but they are so in sync that you’ll never feel the awkwardness of a threesome. Also, they’re blue collar workers. Very hot.

Michael Crewe (Vast) - imagine sex in freefall, like an eagle. I’ve never tried it but it sounds thrilling. Nobody but the two of you in a vast, empty sky.

A Tier

S Tier with drawbacks, or excellent options without being exceptional.

The Distortion (Spiral) - everyone wants to talk about "mind-breaking sex" but nobody wants to deal with the consequences. You’re gonna have a hell of a migraine.

The Coffin (Buried) - some people like to be crushed under the weight of their partner. Very clingy.

Emma Harvey (Web) - excited to experiment in the bedroom. May bring other Avatars over. Does not understand the concept of safe words.

Simon Fairchild (Vast) - old but still spry and flexible. No drawbacks, but doesn’t make S Tier because the Magnusverse has more to offer.

Martin Blackwood (Lonely) - a good listener. Will take your needs to heart. The human version of a cheetah’s emotional support golden retriever. Not exceptional, but dependable.

Manuela Dominguez (Dark) - sex with the lights off. Intelligent and bold, likes to take charge. Not extremely distinguishing.

B Tier

Mostly good options with some less-than-ideal traits.

Alfred Grifter (Slaughter) - an old man who's still got it, and a musician to boot. Don't let him choose a playlist to "set the mood." The mood is murder.

Elias Bouchard (Eye) - besides being subjectively hot he really doesn’t have anything going for him. Short temper. You do not want this man's pipe.

Julia Montauk (Hunt) - intense, but maybe you’re into that sort of thing. Will break up with you just to get you back. Daddy issues.

Jonathan Sims (Eye) - knows what you want in bed, and is good at getting you to open up. A little too anxious to be a really good lover.

Oliver Banks (End) - attractive, sure, but distant, like trying to fuck a statue. Doesn’t help that he can see when you are going to die.

Hezekiah Wakely (Buried) - expert at putting you to bed afterwards, but the sex itself? There are better options.

C Tier

Mostly bad options with redeeming qualities.

Gertrude Robinson (Eye) - constantly checking you out for weaknesses. Will not make eye contact.

Trevor Herbert (Hunt) - canonically grimy, though some people are into that. Body of a 70 year old marathon runner.

Dexter Banks (Web) - your classic film boyfriend who'd rather watch Das Boot than actually get busy. At least he's not transphobic.

Benoit Macon (Corruption) - are you open to threesomes with his beetle wife? How do you feel about becoming a rotten log full of termites?

Samson Stiller (Eye) - plenty of circuits for you to short out. Refuses to log out of Omegle.

Nathaniel Thorp (End) - likes games, but won't let you win. Too bony for good cuddling.

Gabriel (Spiral) - you’ll feel like putty in his hands. You’ll also develop a phobia of doors and fingerprints.

D Tier

Will give you a bad experience, or just boring.

Jonah Magnus (Eye) - prefers to watch. Dusty.

Agnes Montague (Desolation) - doesn’t want to hurt you, but literally cannot touch you without giving you third-degree burns.

Angela (Flesh) - very possible you would wake up the next morning without genitals.

The Piper (Slaughter) - hard to find a private spot in the middle of a war zone. Unfuckable due to bagpipes.

Not!Them (Stranger) - disconcerting, especially since the person you think you’re having sex with is actually dead. Emotionally distant.

Maxwell Rayner (Dark) - feels like he is going to crumble to dust. Insists on doing it with the lights off. Doesn’t know any interesting positions (he is from the 1700s).

F+ Tier

Just for Jane Prentiss (Corruption) because some of you are into that shit.

F Tier

Active health risks.

Nikola Orsinov (Stranger) - maybe some of you want to fuck a mannequin, but this one is actively homicidal. May also steal your skin.

Mary Keay (End) - gross as fuck, will kill you horribly, and the sex isn’t even very good.

Sarah Baldwin (Stranger) - by all accounts, taxidermied animals are nasty to cuddle with.

Monster Pig (Flesh) - no! What? No!

Raymond Fielding (Web) - has no friends. Will fill you with spiders. Also a devout Catholic. One of those has to be a deal-breaker.

Peter Lukas (Lonely) - does not want to be there. Likely has never been more intimate than being on first-name basis in the workplace.

John Amherst (Corruption) - girl the rot

[turn-your-gays]

i have a query for other tma fans… do yall imagine a scene during the opening music of tma? Ive had this post in my drafts for a while and originally it was s screen recording of the theme playing in the background while I explain what I imagined but now ive come back to it and decided no thats not enough so I made a sort of animation. Kind of. You’ll see in a sec.

but first i want to explain whats going on because its a little simple and idk i think it would help

We are in artifact storage, there are rows of tall industrial storage shelving

First we see a creepy looking guy in the foreground, the bottom left corner, playing a violin and watching from the ceiling (figure is just a purple blob in video lol use your Imagination)

someone enters and walks down the aisle for a bit, the lights do not turn on like they are supposed to

we see something dark and foggy moving thru artifact storage

eventually the person notices something, stops, and turns around to run

the foggy thing grabs the person and they fall

artifact storage goes completely dark

we here the clunk of the lights coming on and there is no sign of the person or the foggy thing

(also Sorry for the bad quality I was too lazy to put this in an animation app so I just took screenshots of the frames and screen recorded me scrolling thru the frames)

Also I feel like I should add this isn’t supposed to be a masterpiece like I spent maybe 2 hours working on this and its fine. I can’t remember the name but you know those sheets animators use to plan out frames? This is kind of that but instead of making it very quick sketches I somehow spent 2 hours on this lmao

[turn-your-gays]

This is my birthday gift to myself

[turn-your-gays]

i’m gonna- *remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health*

… buy an axe in central london

[turn-your-gays]

I love the duality of Malevolent because there are lines like "Fuck me?! Fuck your eyes!" and "My fractured soul has become entangled in yours" in the same season

[turn-your-gays]

tim stoker canon hating cops while actively sleeping with two separate people from the police department is so deeply important to me

[turn-your-gays]

i love when ppl draw elias bouchard wearing like anachronistic ass emerald green waistcoats and a monocle in their fanart bc it makes s1 so much funnier to think about. like you know what? yeah actually if i was jonathan sims and my fucking freak of a boss dressed like that and did an evil monologue voice at all times and paid me to read ghost stories in his basement all day, i would also probably be like "yeah this is a deeply unserious job and i am the only normal person here. sick paycheck tho" and then clock the fuck out without ever thinking about those fuckass statements again!! like what are we dunking on him for!! who would chalk that up to anything other than "my weirdass boss has clearly taken his eccentric edwardian magician LARP too far but goddamn if that check doesn't come in every month"

[turn-your-gays]

This may or may not be the dumbest shit anyone has ever created. But it makes me very happy, and I have to share.

I sat up in a neurodivergent cold-sweat earlier this morning, with sudden knowledge of how similar some of the bits of the Magnus Theme and The Phantom of the Opera Overture are...

So, to go along with my art:

(Sound on)

👁️

👁️

👁️

[turn-your-gays]

this happened to my friends daisy tonner and jonathan sims once

[turn-your-gays]

once again pushing the jonbinary sims agenda

[turn-your-gays]

Alternate Season Titles

[turn-your-gays]

My friend Sophie has been trying to hard sell me on listening to The Magnus Archives by lore dumping about this funky critter, Michael, who was designed in a lab to appeal to me specifically and personally. I haven't had a chance to give it a proper listen but I like how all of Michael's lines are read as if he's making this face '>:3' but I guess once you draw fanart for something you are legally obligated to watch that thing ┐(´ー｀)┌