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Tyler: We need someone who can keep their cool under pressure. Kate: *sits backwards in chair* Tyler: Get off my lap.

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Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

Boone

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Tyler: You ready? Boone: Hang on! I need to water the plants! Javi: You have plants? Since when? Boone: Since we put up the Christmas tree? Javi: Oh, okay. Boone: Tyler: Javi: WAIT, NO! DON'T WATER THE CHRISTMAS TREE, YOU DUMBASS!

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Ben: It's been a rough year. Dexter: It's January first? Ben: Your point?

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Kate: *throwing pebbles at Jeb's bedroom window* Jeb: I gave you my phone number for a reason. *Loud thump against the window* Jeb: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT THE WINDOW?!

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At Thanksgiving

Javi: What are you thankful for, Kate?

Kate: Tyler's di-

Dexter and Cathy: *glares*

Kate: -eeeeeeeeelightful personality.

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Tyler: Darlin', you're sick. Your temperature is 104. Kate: Kate Carter doesn't get sick! If I was sick, could I do this? Tyler: Tyler: What are you doing? Kate: Cartwheels... Am I not doing them? Tyler, softly: No.

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Tyler: You kidnapped Jo Harding? That’s illegal! Boone: But, Tyler, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Jo, or destroying our dreams? Tyler: Kidnapping Jo, Boone!!! Boone: Tyler, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them! Tyler: What, to kidnap people?!?! Dani: To work together! Tyler: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!?!?! Lily: Tyler, we all agreed a celebrity is not a people.

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Javi: God, give me patience. Scott: I think you mean 'god give me strength.' Javi: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

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Javi, to Scott: You're not the stupidest person in the world right now... but you better pray they don't die.

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Tyler, on the phone: Hey, Sapulpa, can you come pick me up from my rap battle? It's over. Tyler: No, I didn't win. My opponent saw you and the kids drop me off and make a pretty devastating rhyme about it.

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Kate: Oh my God, I hate you, leave me alone. Tyler: I'm trying. You need to let go of my hand first.

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My morning routine includes laying in bed for 30 minutes, thinking about how tired I am. -- Javi

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Do you ever just see some random person, take a good look at their face, and decidedly think "fuck off?" -- Dani

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I got pulled over for drunk driving while stone cold sober. Which is a great way to find out you are a *terrible* driver. -- Boone

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Boone: Are we there yet? Tyler: No. Boone: Are we there yet? Tyler: NO. Boone: Are we- Tyler: WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE CAR YET!

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Boone: *pouting because Kate and Javi are arguing too loudly for him to defuse the situation* Lily: *hands him coffee* Get ready for the fistfight. My bets are on Kate. Boone: Hell, no, Javi would win. He’s twice as tall and I know how strong he is! $50 on Javi. Lily: Then $50 on Kate. Dani, eating popcorn: $50 on a tie. I’d love to see these idiots knock each other out. Tyler, sipping his hot cocoa: I’ll bet you all $50 they both start crying in about five minutes because they start picking at insecurities. Tyler, five minutes later: Pay up, you three. You losers owe me $50 each.