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two-bit-tarot · 7 months ago

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October the 11th, 2024 Dose: 10mg edible, Indica, Honu brand

Effects felt within 90 minutes. I prepared a comfortable space with music to ease into the experience.

The burning question I had was if I needed entheogens to have a spiritual experience. This was a profound experience as a result. I learned a great deal about the nature of faith and discovered the roots of my own hubris, a great offense to the Gods.

I’m getting ahead of myself. I lay down and established connection with my coven. This turned out to be a grounding rod I desperately needed. In the past, I am alone and have often felt cast adrift on an ocean I cannot fathom, helpless in the surge of energies and power that I feel. Wearing my coven shirt + flannel pants (something I think of as supreme comfort) was very soothing and helped ground me. I called on the protection of my coven from the beginning and I do think that helped my have a better experience.

Within 90 minutes I began feeling effects, the slow taffy pull of my consciousness expanding. It feels like a slow draw, like honey creeping across a plate. It is not unpleasant.

My Gods were waiting for me, and they had much to say. I was afraid that I needed entheogens to experience them - and yet, they reminded me, I have had spiritual experiences since I was a child and certainly didn’t have any drugs on board. They made the point (this was mostly Athena) that true faith requires no proof. That means that my assuming I had to have entheogens meant, in some way, that I didn’t have any faith in the truth and reality of my own experiences. By assuming I needed that…source? Outlet? Crutch? I was not fully exulting in the spirit. I was limited myself.

Furthermore, I have squandered the gifts of times previous. In the past I took no notes really; I did no reflection the next day of what I’d been charged with (there are always things the Gods tell me, exercises to do or undertake) and no performing of services or ritual. I did no introspection. On reflection of how greedy I’ve been and how gluttonous, I’m humbled and blessed that the Gods speak to me at all! But scorn and ostracization is for humans; the Gods don’t engage in such small thinking. I’m not sure they’re even capable of it.

So, I was given new charges. The ritual from here on out is:

I am to choose one day in the month that is the night for Communion like last night. This can be a weekend; for it to be restorative to myself, holding this ritual for myself on a work night would not be as effective.

I am to get healthy, whole foods; nothing processed. Water or tea to drink only, although one small vial of Mead is allowed and no more. Place offerings for the ancestors, nature spirits, and Gods. These bowls can be placed on the dresser or nightstand, or the windowsill.

Have music prepared, earbuds charged.

I may start the ritual with a ritual bath/cleansing; use of Khernips to anoint yourself is encouraged (this works for me as I am primarily a Hellenic priest, but you are free to use what you wish for anointing of course)

Wear clothing that is comfortable and non-restricting. Flannel pants and a flannel tunic would be perfect, but my coven sweatshirt and flannel pants are just as good, if not better. (Prior to next ritual, ask covenmates to touch/imbue the shirt with their sympathies.) Place an offering bowl for each of the four corners: North, South, East, West. These bowls can be on top of the dresser or the nightstand. Salt lamp is encouraged.

Choose talismans to wear from collection; use your intuition in choosing. What feels right is right.

Follow your gut and participate where you are led. If that means to get up and dance, get up and dance. If it means drumming while seated before altar, sit before your altar and drum. Do what feels right; this is to build power for the journey ahead.

Once your skin is tingling and you feel like you’re about to burst free, you’re on the threshold. Lie down (in Zero G if possible) and put in earbuds (if you haven’t already). It’s time to listen - shut out distractions. Use a blindfold if you wish. Cover your body with a comforting fabric if you wish.

Have a way to record your experience. You can do voice recordings, sit at your computer, write in a notebook - whatever you feel drawn to. I will likely do voice recordings for the future so that I do not interrupt my positioning and sensory deprivation. That’s just what works for me. Having a covenmate or loved one record your utterings is also an option.

Record everything until you feel “clear”. I don’t know how else to describe it; you’ll know it when you feel it. Then it’s time to seek wisdom. This could be in the form of a tarot spread, rune casting, or other introspection. I like to contemplate things like the Havamal or the Delphic Maxims. Whatever is right for you is what is pleasing to the Gods and honors your ancestors.

Take notes on your learnings. For instance, on this night I read much about the syncretism of Christ and Dionysus, followed by learning more about alchemy. I had a flash of a symbol while I was communing; when I went to find it on the internet, I discovered that it was the alchemical symbol for the philosopher’s stone! (See attached picture for an image).

Until the next Communion, it is imperative and your responsibility - your duty - to examine your last ritual. Do research, pray, seek introspection. It will take more than a few days; my goal is to spend one moon cycle contemplating each. That means you will have essentially a schedule that follows the lunar year of 13 moons. The hypothesis on that is still blossoming; for now, the symbology seems pregnant with potential.

Other tasks I have been charged with/ thought dump: Learn an instrument. Stop quailing and waffling and just do it.

Make my house a home: a way to honor my Gods is to make a household they are part of. Our home is chaos - but from chaos rises potential!

I saw Chaos as a primordial mother, a person with breasts and a womb made of the universe. Xe cradles xir belly, which is rotund with the imminent birth of a sun.

Dionysus is the Lord of the Dance, and oh, does he love bad dancers. Good dancers have nothing to risk; they will be admired for their skill, and they can bask in it. But a bad dancer dances purely for the love of it, for the joy of moving the body. It is true devotion to the God who is one of us. “Dance like no one is watching” is a mantra to keep in mind if you wish to commune with Dionysus.

I’m going to write a book called “Familiar” and say it’s about finding your spirit familiar, but it’s really about getting familiar with yourself. That’s what the word comes from - you have to be familiar. That’s the real and true way to shape and create your familiar - because that’s what you’re doing. That’s what the power is; humans are capable of creating a spirit from chaos, much like Tulpas are created. Really want to explore this idea further.

“You don’t need a Dumbo feather��. I want to get a tattoo to remind me that I don’t need a magic feather to fly. In this case, the magic feather is entheogens. I don’t need them to commune with my Gods; it just makes it a little easier. It’s also a gift, so I need to treat it as such.

My reaction to pot and resultant feelings were a test - I’m happy to say it’s a test I failed. If I hadn’t failed, I wouldn’t have had this experience; instead, I was able to confront my own hubris and narrow thinking, and now I feel increased power and connection. You will always fail; the tests you fail at are the most powerful of all - depending on what you do with it.

Learn more about alchemy.

Learn more about hermeticism. I don’t know if I agree with all the tenets there; I’m more of a Neoplatonist, but Hermeticism fascinates me. So, learn more in a concerted effort. Write about it. It’s time to share my writings about faith with others. Use my tumbler.

I was asked to wear my rings, so I am to WEAR MY RINGS. They are magickal tools. I do need to probably cleanse them in salt and moonlight; their energy feels like the wires are crossed a bit!

Need to remember to wear my replica bear claws; these are a fetish from the nature spirits. Need to consecrate them as such somehow, so dreaming up a ritual for that is special and important.

I am to become ordained. The Gods are sick of my shit and are coming to some tough love “put up or shut up” messages! Read the original Golden Bough (multiple volumes) and find YOUR truths.

I want to write a true gospel of Dionysus. Maybe a devotional?

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