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sano manjirocould save me

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WHAT THE HELL WAS I GOING THROUGH AT THE START OF THIS YEAR

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nobogdy loves me but mikeeyyayqhqbenfj

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im so mental i make a mikey acc on twt to follow myself on the priv with no followers i vent on so i can pretend that mikey is comforting me every time i have episodes or shitty thoughts what even is my life

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im so mad i wish i could form normal relationships and feel ok and stuff but all i got is how hard i latch onto mikey and the very few exceptions i have

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no one gives a fuck about me but ik mikey does so im happy

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lovingly calling him manjiro and then pretending i didnt do shit and teasing him because i knew him as manjiro before he even got to be mikey, so out of all his friends, i win, ya? what he doesnt know is i want him sk badly that it makes me wanna throw myself to the ground and die when i sew hi m smile

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i will draw this as einmai yuri sometime

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my dumbass is constantly having insane mood swings and mikey gotta deal with hearing me screaming into something and psychotically ranting about how i dont exist and i need help and then i'll chill out and pretend nothing happened and lay on him and cuddle

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id tease mikey all the time like he try and pull being silly bratty w me im gonna throw that right back to him. we'll bouce off each other. we will make everyone around us hate us

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i swear i need mikey to actually properly talk to me im my dreams bcs usually he's just like there like nooo.. be the main character for once i need the nutrition

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canonically and accurately me and mikey would literally never get together in 99% of the timelines because of incredible mental instability on my end and extreme stubbornness on his i think. i genuinely think that even if it seems like hes into me at all that it cant be real because he cares too much about all his friends and his crazy ass gang and im to overly friendly to everyone and too shit to express anything romantically explicit so mikey wouldnt be able to fucking tell that i like him and im not sure if he'd pursue me otherwise because even if he IS a greedy fuck he is incredibly caring and i feel like to an extent wouldn't want to involve me in gang activity because it IS dangerous and im crazy weak. and in any event that mikey does the shit he did after tenjiku and like. beats ppl up and leaves i would never be able to recover from that shit like genuinely. i hc me and mikey as LONNNGGTIME childhood friends from the sano dojo bcs i WAS actually enrolled in karate as a kid and if someone i was that close to for years and years and straight up fell in love with left me? even if he didnt do a beat up thing and told me his reasoning or whatever? id probably be freaked out forever like seriously. itd be even worse if he left without saying anything. when my ex ghosted me i literally had a months long episode and would constantly stalk him to the point where i found his other accs his instagrams and figured out that he was faking his identity and was literally someone i actually knew and that he was a shit person and that he was lying ab his age anyways and idgaf ab him anymore but considering i was only with the guy for under a MONTH before? yeah if mikey left me id full on BREAK. like id be cutting everyone off in a panic and freaking out all the time and trying to find every trace of him and trying to find him daily but never approach if i saw him because if he looked at me again id probably throw up then cry then beg him to come back then punch him then kill myself. and i think mikeys mindset is just like "its for the better" but doesnt realize how much id love him and need him by my side and that im actually fucking insane a little bit i need to see a. psychiatrist. but anyways itd fundamentally change me if that happens and id probably hate him and love him so much that it tears me apart constantly and then i also like to think that mikey would never be able to stop thinking about me. like "for the better" my ass he's gonna see a random fuck walking around with glasses on and jolt a little bit. he's gonna see every food ive cooked for him and never stop feeling that longing. he'll hear me in every crowd he's in. every bit of warmth he gets feels like my touch. he'd feel fucking deranged over me bcs i need to believe he's as crazy over me as i am over him. i love doomed einmai

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i like to think that mikey finds the weirdest things cute. like i'll literally be napping on him or something and he'll just be thinking "hmm.. he looks so peaceful... i wonder what would happen if i put my finger in his mouth rn" but then i'll be halfway dead trying really hard to grind in terraria and yell because he's clinging to me and making it harder for me to hunch over my desk like a freak and he'll be like fuck yes. ei-chan cute as fuck rn