uhode
12K posts
religious iconography giving you the creeps? errol le cain, thorn rose illus fairy procession. ten of Hearts - good fortune is coming.
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this man holds me to such high standards for some reason and regards me as insanely capable and charming and whatever and also for some reason is so insecure around me and compared to the way i treat other people i’m being so gentle and sweet to him and somehow he still acts as though i’m some terrifying creature he has to appease i’m going insane
#i mean it’s sweet it’s endearing it’s just that the way he perceives me is not justified he holds an unreasonably high opinion of me#and it’s almost unsettling i’m literally just some guy like yeah i’m a bit more eloquent and resourceful than most but still. just some guy#and i’m literally treating him like a wounded animal and still! he thinks his only purpose to me is to turn him into a puppet
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“it’s circus work.” not to me. not if it’s my monkeys.
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What Doesn’t Kill Me Better Run (2021) — Oh de Laval
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Mid Sagittal dissection of a human brain. Absolutely amazing!
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me when i go walking on sunny days and end up on a tree lined street and look up at the gaps of sunlight and miss you more than anything
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people aren't as cool anymore because they love to be very vocal about what they wish to emulate. it's supposed to be your own little secret. for you, only. leaving everyone else wondering how you do it
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I actually passed away quite a few years ago, but I'm a very private person and never told anybody.
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kind of weird how parts of your soul are left in various locations without any warning… like yes i’m always at the top of that hill, sitting at the bus stop, in the cool light of the Japanese restaurant, standing at the pier etc etc
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sure let’s ask the girl with the weird dreams and the big heart
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“Night Drive” by Harry Booth: A fleeting moment in motion.
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Kate Bush as the Sound Monster in Experiment IV (1986)
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All you do is whine
untrue i also suffer, rot, wail, wallow, haunt, mourn and rage
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last night i took this man out for drinks with some of our mutual friends and held the door open for him and he thanked me and asked me why i’m being so chivalrous to him…
#and he’s four years older than me and somewhat notorious… and earlier that evening he went i like how you’ve just taken me under you wing#and i said well i don’t mean to use you as a puppet you still have free will i’m just here to provide liaisons and he went i know although#wouldn’t mind being a puppet i’m good at taking orders when necessary#so yeah i’m living in insane times#also it was the girliest affair we went in circle and painted each other’s nails; he said he’d enjoyed it thoroughly
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last night i told this man that he’s essentially a tiny plastic soldier and i can’t figure out if he got hurt or offended by it
#made him a coffee in the morning and rolled two cigs to apologize#something something this is probably my most fucked up acquaintanceship#last i’ve seen him was in december; in the meantime i got way harsher and he got way more mellow; i wonder if that broke an image he’d#constructed of me; i used to be both pleasant and kind and now every word i utter has a sharp edge; i don’t think he minds
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i’ve brought myself to a point where if you were to tear my skin off and pry me open you’d find nothing but an echo of guilt and something resembling longing
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