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I low-key love the idea of Bucky having no real understanding of the concept of there being a time and place for everything. Like Sam bends over to take something out of the oven and Bucky just outright says "damn, I can't wait to eat your ass later" and Darlene is just sitting across from Bucky at the kitchen table like *surprised pikachu face*

Yes, Anon! Hilarious headcanon. I love it. 

Sam: *opens oven door and bends over*

Bucky: *eyes go straight to his backside*

Darlene: *notices but says nothing*

Bucky: Damn, baby. I cannot wait to eat your entire asshole.

Darlene:

Sam: 

Bucky: 

Darlene: Sammy, what in the hell did this boy just say?

Bucky: I said –

Sam: Casserole! He said he can’t wait to eat this casserole!

Darlene: Samuel Thomas Wilson, you know damn well those are cookies in the oven.

Bucky: Thing is, Mrs Wilson, he’s makin’ the cookies in a casserole pan, and anything made in a casserole dish or pan is considered a casserole.

Darlene and Sam: 

Bucky: I learned a lot from being in the war. Learned about fancy French food that we were missin’ out on. It’s rough on the front. Only thing being eaten consistently was ass. So, I learned how to eat ass real good. Right, Sammy?

Sam: 

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Bucky when Sam stops wearing the suit he designed and begged the Wakandans to make:

Yes I spent 45mins on a meme just to make a shitpost tyvm

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(Sam and Bucky laying in bed about to fall asleep)

Bucky: *Turns to face Sam* Would you love me if I was a worm?

Sam: *Turns to face Bucky* Hmm... Sure. I'd wear shirts with front pockets on them so i can carry you with me. We'd have to change your name to "Burmy The Wormy" of course but-... babe are you crying?!

(Alternatively)

Sam: *Turns to face Bucky* Would you love me if I was a worm?

Bucky: *Sits up in bed to turn the light on and pulls out a journal* Obviously, but first, I would need to build you terrarium. Then I have to find the rat bastard that did this to you.

Sam: Haha ok babe I ge-

Bucky: I would stop at nothing to find this son of a bitch! I bet you it's Steve! MHMM You know he's always hated our relationship and wants to take you from me!

Sam: WOW, you know what? How ab-

Bucky: Why does Steve all of a sudden like gardening, hmm? What kinda grown man keeps a plotted pant next to his bed - as a matter of fact, let me call this SOB right NOW!

Sam: *sighs* Good luck with that I'm going back to sleep.

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The intro to UFHO By Flyana Boss is very Sam and Sarah coded and I won't take any criticisms.

Sam: 🎶Unidentified Fly-ass Ho!🎶

Sarah: 🎶If my girls can't come then I won't go!🎶

Sam: 🎶Tight grip like G.I Joe!!!!🎶

Sarah: 🎶And my ass so big like FE FI FO!🎶

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If it were up to me, Bucky wouldn’t be in Cap 4 at all minus a few references and name drops here and there. Based on how Bucky stans treated Sam during TFATWS era (turning Sam into Bucky’s therapist, invalidating & ignoring Sam’s emotional well-being in favor of Bucky’s, saying shit like “Steve is gone but at least Bucky has Sam” like he’s a stand-in or the “next best thing”), I know they’re gonna do the same thing if Bucky ends up being in Cap 4.

His potential absence ensures that Sam gets all the spotlight and attention he deserves in his first solo movie. Bucky’s had 3 movies dedicated to him, let Sam have his moment to shine.

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Bucky should've kept his fuckass Bob. The spark left for me when he did the big chop. See if he had cut it shorter but still kept it as a bob it would've gave a little more.

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Teen!Sarah: I'm about to go out with my friends. Don't go in my room, Sam!

Teen!Sam: Nobody wants to be in your lame ass room!

Teen!Sam: *Messing with Sarahs stuff as soon as she leaves*

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I usually lean more towards fluff and humor but I got a Dark Romance AU for SamBucky or SamSteve depending on the ending.

So, Sam and Steve have been together for about 2 years now, and Sam feels like he has finally found the one. But things start to feel a bit off when he notices Steve acting a bit strange. He keeps his phone on silent, says he's at work, but when Sam calls Steve's job, he hasn't shown up for that day, and he's changed his passwords on his laptop and phone. Sam thinks Steve is cheating on him. So he hires a private detective.

Enter Bucky, PI for hire, and Steve's on again off again, best friend who's just got back from overseas. Sam has no idea who Bucky is. Bucky has been a sensitive spot for Steve for years and he has vaguely brought him up but never truly talked him for personal and safety reasons.

Anyway, Sam hires Bucky to get information on Steve. Bucky, who still cares for Steve, finds this situation funny and is going to Spy on Steve as a joke and later reveal his connection to Steve, but Bucky is starting to fall in love with Sam.

The more time he spends with Sam, the deeper in love he falls. He wants to be with Sam himself so he gathers all the evidence on Steve's affair and brings it to Sam, breaking them up in hopes of being with him. But here's the thing Steve might not actually be cheating on Sam. And that's what this story is about.

Is Bucky lying about Steve cheating on Sam in order to be with Sam, or did Steve actually cheat on him? If he's not cheating, what was Steve lying and keeping secrets about? Also, why did Bucky spend so much time overseas? Who can Sam trust in this situation, and what about his own secrets?

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NIGGA ITS JUST BIG ME

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Sam is so pretty. Like, Anthony Mackie is an ok looking guy but when he plays Sam Wilson he's genuinely one of the prettiest guys around and I want you all to know that. I really go teehee hee because he's so pretty

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Sam: Hey, Buck. We've been around each other a lot the last past few months and... Well.. I think I'm starting to like you and *deep sigh* I don't want to beat around the bush here but it would be nice to go at together sometime. You know a like a date.

Bucky:... Uuh-

Sam: Oh my god, was I reading into this wrong? I'm sorry this is so-

Bucky: We're not already dating?

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At the start of Sam and Buckys relationship, things are a little rocky because Sam's love language is quality time, which is weird for Bucky because people usually don't want to be around him (unless they want to hurt him) so he's used to being alone.

Buckys love language is acts of service, which is weird for Sam because he's usually the one doing everything for others at the cost of his own mental health, so he's used to being independent.

Eventually they work things out.

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SamBucky is giving me Britanna from Glee vibes. At first they weren't going to be the main focus, let alone one of the best couples on the show, but then they got whole episodes dedicated to them.

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I wish sometimes I was a writer or director because I would've written Falcon and The Winter Soldier the way it deserves. I would've given y'all the Camp it deserved. First of all, we would've had a really cunt theme song like Living Single or That's So Raven. I'm talking about each episode by episode villains, buddy cop comedy but they're vigilantes, and maybe a little bit of romance.

Also, too much Zemo. Yes it's called Falcon AND The Winter Soldier but it felt like a reverse. And then the influx of B*cky x Z*mo was so disappointing in the Fandom. I should've never left. My man Sam wilson was sidelined in his own series.

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I'm waiting on TFATW to put out every episode so i can binge it(I've seen some spoilers but i don't really care because I'm excited to see Sam, Sarah, and Sharon) But I'm still dabbling in the SamBucky fanfic tag and when i say I'm annoyed.... The Sam Wilson/Bucky Barnes tag it's just not hittin' like it use to.

It's just the influx of "Sam Wilson is a good bro", and "Counselor Sam", type fics occuring is just so frustrating. No offense to the new fics out, your stories might be well written but they feel like a huge set back for Sam fics and ships.

Sam is, once again, an afterthought in his very own ships. He's just there to constantly coddle and comfort Bucky as if Sam is completely without trauma. He's back to being a walking diary with a dick for Bucky. Maybe once TFATW is over the stories will go back to being actually about the Sam/Bucky and not about what Sam can do for him.

(I haven't posted anything in a while, so I'm not actively contributing to stories the truly highlight Sam so I can't complain too much. And i like to keep everything goofy and fun but this really irks me)

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Ok, but why is this photoshop giving me Bucky and Sam laughing at Steve's, "I'm sorry Sam, take me back!!" Videos. Like, Steve realized that Sam was "The One" for him and keeps sending Tik Toks of himself asking for Sam to be with him again. I can just HEAR "Someone Like You" playing in the background!! Sam and Bucky are totally downloading the videos to watch whenever they're feeling down.

I haven't been feeling the greatest today and I got bored so here, have another shitty photoshop Of my favorite ship.