ultraviiiolence

[ultraviiiolence]

unknown pleasures — kth

❝this is the room, the start of it all❞

{25/01/17 - 03/02/17}

kim taehyung

angst

chronological mess bc it's a messy one-shot, dark themes, mention of depression, drugs use, suicide, death, violence, homicide, unhealthy relationship. don't read if you are uncomfortable

inspired by bts' mvs and "control" directed by Anton Corbijn

gif credit to the owner

posted on wattpad in 2017. sorry for my bad english, it's not my first language but i've tried anyway. hope you like it!

✺ P L A Y L I S T ✺

disorder

day of the lord

candidate

insight

new dawn fades

she's lost control

shadowplay

wilderness

interzone

i remember nothing

songs by joy division

track one d i s o r d e r

❝i've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand, could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?❞

taehyung looked around, enraptured by the night lights. he was sitting on a battered bench in a park where weeds hadn't been cut for a couple of years. ahead of him, in the distance, the first rosy shades of the morning appeared. he observed absently that spectacle, in the midst of the still life that surrounded him. taehyung wasn't there for the view, he was waiting. he was waiting to be saved.

track two d a y o f t h e l o r d

❝this is the room, the start of it all. dreamt I fled from you, i remember it all. oh i've seen the nights, filled with bloodsport in vain❞

the kitchen was silent, light rays of sunlight filtered through the shutters and collided on the table. taehyung sat, holding his head with one hand, turning the coffee in small circular motions with the other.

"you're an asshole, taehyung, I hate you"

"it's not true, it's not like that"

"you are useless!"

you are wrong minhee, you loved me. it is not so?

track three c a n d i d a t e

❝no longer the pleasure, oh I've since lost the heart corrupted from memory, no longer the power❞

he stared at the envelope over the bedside table, nervously playing with a card.

so, that white powder would help him. or at least, minhee said so.

a long sigh left taehyung's lips, undecided whether to begin the procedures seen countless times or not.

"you'll hurt yourself"

"mind your business, it's all your fault"

taehyung simply lay down on the bed. he didn't want to.

track four i n s i g h t

❝hey, don't you know you were right. i'm not afraid anymore. i keep my eyes on the door, but i remember❞

taehyung was hopping carefree with shopping bags in hand. he didn't like to shop, but for minhee he can bought all the stars in the sky. whistling without containing his smile, the red-haired boy opened the front door.

"next time you will remember to pay me" an unknown man left the girl's hair, turning to the door to go out, shoving him to pass. "if i were you i would forget what you saw, kid" the shopping bags slipped from his hands, running towards minhee who was crying, covering her probably hit cheek.

you didn't deserve it, you didn't deserve all this. but you continued, minhee, you did. i tried to help you.

track five n e w d a w n f a d e s

❝a loaded gun won't set you free. so you say❞

that mysterious man returned. the marks on the girl's white skin were proof of this. taehyung said nothing to her, he didn't want to piss her off. he suffered every time he looked down her small body, he suffered as if they were his. and there was nothing he could do.

"don't look at me with that expression full of pity, it annoys me"

instead, on that particularly cloudy day, taehyung fired three shots behind the back of that unknown who dared to raise his hands to his girlfriend again.

track six s h e ' s l o s t c o n t r o l

❝But she expressed herself in many different ways until she'd control again❞

the young man studied his figure through the mirror in his small and simple bathroom. he studied his tanned skin, facial features, and eyes. dark, empty.

"you're a monster, it's all your fault"

"i wanted to help you, minhee, i love you"

"stop it, you're ridiculous. go to hell"

minhee gathered her things, left the house, leaving taehyung motionless in front of the door.

i'm not a monster, i'm just a human. why did you leave me?

track seven s h a d o w p l a y

❝i let them use you - for their own ends. To the centre of the city in night waiting for you❞

taehyung's mind began to play tricks: he was formulating the belief that he had never known his minhee. but he knew it wasn't like that, she just went away for a while and would come back to him. he still remembered when he first met her in a vinyl store in the suburbs.

"this would be the first place i would choose as a refuge!"

he spent his days inside that shop waiting for her from opening until closing, with a the cure's vinyl in hand.

track eight w i l d e r n e s s

❝what did you see there? i saw the tears as they cried. they had tears in their eyes❞

the rain reflected the mood of everyone present in a circle around a dark wooden coffin. a few days before he died, hoseok told taehyung to drop minhee, who was a cocaine addict and didn't need a prince charming to get her out of trouble. he was fucking right. and taehyung couldn't tell him, he could never speak to him again.

two months passed since the funeral. none of the boys spoke up again, not even jungkook.

track nine i n t e r z o n e

❝i walked round and round, you nailed me to a tree. trying to find a way, trying to find a way, to get out❞

the hours of the day were occupied by sleep and the nocturnal hours by leisure. it no longer made a difference, everything had become so insignificant that he didn't realize what was happening around him. during his aimless walks, taehyung reflected on his life: he had fallen in love with a girl he had welcomed into his home in time of need, receiving in return his own heart completely trampled. he had lost one of his best friends and the others disappeared into thin air, never having told them how important they were.

track ten i r e m e m b e r n o t h i n g

❝get weak all the time, we just passed the time❞

taehyung was in the kitchen during the first shades of dawn. he looked around, capturing images of every part of the house: the wallpaper's creases, the vase of dried flowers by the window, and the record player by the television. he approached the latter by inserting "the idiot" by iggy pop, remembering the few times he listened to it in the company of minhee. he took a deep breath, climbing to his feet in the plastic kitchen chair.

he thought he had never done anything good in his life, that he didn't have enough backbone. a complete disaster, a nothingness that created only a nuisance. he passed the rope around his neck, with a mocking smile for himself. he closed his eyes and took another deep breath. and it was a moment.

kim taehyung committed suicide.