umbrella-corp-suggestion-box - Tumblr blog

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I triple-dog dare you to recite the entire communist manifesto while giving a speech to Ivan >:))

"A dare? My this is a delight!"

(Don't worry about Ivan again, he'll be ok)

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..whoever is sending me bots..I'm disappointed but not surprised.

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Hey can we get a company discount on the bioweapons. its my nieces birthday and i need a last minute gift so i was thinking about getting her a tyrant

Biological weapons of war are not for sale

But you can get her anything else, like, this umbrella corp phone charm! Or..a water bottle..or..literally anything that isnt a bioweapon.

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Include body bags with our fucking contract. And no I'm not saying fucking please. Sincerely, disgruntled special ops member Rain Ocampo.

Also: The coffee sucks in the break room.

Note to all employees if you see anyone claiming to be you but "from another universe" destroy them with no hesitation.

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What was your favorite childhood memory like and why?

...Surviving.

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Sir..the blue Ivan vomited all over the floor..

*sigh* I will deal with it

I told you sweets will make you feel sick Ivan!

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Here at the U.B.C.S taking your co-workers leftovers out of HIS hands that had a note that said MY food is punishable. This update was definitely not influenced by any sort of personal story. Just a reminder!

Nikolai I will have my damn pierogi's back

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Do you have a particular favorite meal? If so, why do you like it?

MY FOOD! DAMN YOU NIKOLAI!

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I dare you to slap the person who ticks you off the most >:D

A random question completely out of the blue, does anyone know how to hide an unconscious person without anyone noticing?

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@miles-is-so-gay

I HAD ONE RULE

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@hyst3r1a-113

This is a nice start, (and I see no C4 connected to this suggestion so even better) I'm quite fond of the workings of Franz Kafka its very interesting to hear such a nihilistic man, in a way he is true on the whole concept of existentialism, life is nothing but a constant struggle, another I am currently reading is Faust, in the search for power the weak destroy themselves.

(..ignore those gaga CD's)

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@miles-is-so-gay

I HAD ONE RULE

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Good evening all employees, After many requests a suggestion box has been added to all umbrella facilities, once a week these suggestions will be picked out randomly and read through by me. Sergei Vladimir, CEO of U.B.C.S, partner and shareholder to the foundation. What this will not be is a place for tomfoolery or shenanigans such as the time an Umbrella employee (who will remain unnamed but he knows who he is) sent me a C4 as a birthday present. This is a suggestion box, not a Joke box people.

-S. Vladimir

(However knowing the employees at this foundation you will all make a mockery of this)