unabashedneckcashlamp

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Dark Feminine: Part OneHe is who I want him to be,  Where I want him… and with haste!!!!  He must not make me wait.  Moulded,  Darkly woven from want and ruin, just for me.  He prays the way I taught him,  Knows how to revere me,  Singing praises so hauntingly beautiful,  Calling me by all my ancient names:  Giver and taker of life!!!Born of Bilquis!!He is willing to give his life simply to drown…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

“Bag of Bones”I want to write all these emotions,  spill them onto paper—  they are screaming in my head,  wanting out.  My mouth has forgotten how to form words.  They sit heavy in my chest,  threatening to pull me under—  a huge lump in my throat,  home to a thousand unsaid words.  Clawing,  scratching from the inside—  they want out.  I want to cry it all out,  but for a while now, I have been…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Photography

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Do you ponder as I do—  how beautiful and fleeting life is?  Our lives, exquisitely crafted,  yet designed to fade.  How terribly the same we all are,  yet we waste time clinging to our differences.  Do you ponder as I do—  how we are all imitations of those before us?  Borrowed faces.Borrowed bodies.In time, we return them to the earth.Just as every living thing must,  as every plant fades,  as every flower wilts.    Borrowed time. We are ballerinas,  dancing on the delicate thread of existence,  fighting to keep balance  as death looms over us—  a constant reminder of the inevitable end.  A beautifully executed story,  beautifully melancholic.  These borrowed bodies—  they are only vessels.  And yet, even with this knowing,  fear lingers—  the thought of becoming  something I cannot remember.  A soul.  I am afraid of the unknown.  Or will I remember it all  when death’s shadow envelops me,  devours me whole?  Will I remember  what it is to be a soul? 

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

INTO THE UNKNOWN

“Lost in the shadows, battling the demons within. No turning back. ⚔️ #IntoTheUnknown #InnerWar”

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Two different moments Could otherwise be forgottenBut frozen in time and spaceThis teo different specific moments Moments i was aliveMoments I was in new placrs Now forever etched in memoryTwo different placesDifferent momentsBlue skiesI let goJust for a little while

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Roots entwined beneath the earth,  branches reaching skyward—rebirth.  Green veins pulse, like ours do too,  flowing life in shades of hue.  From soil to soul, the same design,  woven threads of the divine.  Black and brown, leaf and tree,  one great breath, wild and free.  No divide, no lines to sever,  one heartbeat—now and forever. 

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Morning Blues

Mother nature woke up a moody mess   Like she could sense my inner distress   Caught a case of morning blues   Body resisting, won’t heed my cues   Hormones raging, mind withdrawn   Drained before the day’s begun   Last thing i want to do is go to work   Fake smile nod and talk   Still i push through   As Mother Nature shifts her mood. Between extremes, she sways, unsure   A roaring…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

So High

I  walk among the people, reborn ,Taking up space without apology,No longer afraid to step boldly,  No longer adjusting my outfit,Wrapped in old fears of prying eyes and silent judgment,Or the threat of unwelcome hands on my skin,I look good— I know I do.Tummy bare, curves embraced,Owning every inch of my being.Morning affirmations sealed the truth,Ganja lifts the weight of bad energy.I am so…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

The Girl We Buried

The girl we buried in the darkest pits of our mind—  She is knocking. No, pounding.  Higher self,Fists against the walls, demanding release.  She will not be silenced.  She will not shrink.  She will not stay caged in the dust of old fearsHigher selfffff!!!Every day, she rises—closer, louder, unrelenting.  Daring you to look in the mirror.  Not just glance, but  see.To meet her gaze, fierce and…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

I Have Made the "Mistake

I have made the “mistake” of being myselfIn a world that worships pretense.They have tried a thousand times to break me,Yet still, I rise—unbowed, alive. So they lock me in a cage,Auction me like a circus act—“Here she is, the girl who dares to embrace her flaws!Let the world see her, scorn her,Spit in her face,So she may know how ‘disgusting’ it isTo be unapologetically whole.” These are the…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Becoming her

I can not see who I am—  a shadowed reflection, blurred and trembling.  Reluctant to embrace the fragments of myself  that once served,  but now lie heavy, abandoned by time.  I begged for change,  pleaded to become her—  the woman I dream of,  the woman I fear.  Here I stand,  on the precipice of transformation,  too afraid to leap,  too afraid of what it could mean  to truly *see myself.*  To…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

"Endings, Wake-Up Calls, and the Path Back to My True Self

As 2024 drew to a close, I found myself grappling with a question that lingered like a shadow: What have I really accomplished this year? It wasn’t about simply crossing off a list of goals—it was the nagging feeling that I had fallen short, that I wasn’t living up to the potential I had set for myself. In a society that often measures success by financial milestones or career achievements, it’s…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Spaces unseen

Why do you occupy space in my mind?  A tenant uninvited, yet steadfast in your stay.  Do I occupy space in yours?  Or am I a fleeting whisper, fading with the day?  Is there a corner secluded just for me,  Tucked away behind walls, I can not see?  You said you killed your emotions,  Yet I wonder—did I resurrect what you buried deep?  Is this obsession mirrored,  A reflection of the pull that…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Unveiled

Eye contact so intimate,  as if I stand naked before him—  his gaze seeking mine,  unearthing the fragments buried deep,  the ones no one else dares to see.  You feel unreal now,  a figment conjured by my mind,  yet your presence lingers,  a ghost of that night,  or was it just the wine?  Better you stay confined to memory,  untouched by the light of today.  This isn’t love—I know.  But I am…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

Crumbs of love

I never seem to learn,  This fragile heart of mine,  Broken way too many times,Caught in the same design.    Crumbs tossed to me—  By men who know not my worth,  Just something to be used,  A fleeting moment’s dearth.    Why do I accept the scraps,  Like hunger’s deep inside,  Who taught me to take less,  To silence all my pride?    I am twenty-five,  Yet still, I’m bruised, still torn,  Chasing…

[unabashedneckcashlamp]

**She Is the Storm**

Center bleeding, violently,  My body rages,  Revolting—  No longer in control,  It is her time now.  Protector,  Healer,  Punisher—  Do not cross her.  She will destroy you.  She is all the emotions  Caged in the depths of my mind,  All the anger I’ve suppressed,  All the harassment faced in silence,  Afraid to be “dramatic.”  No more.  Do not cross her.  She will light you on fire  And watch you…