unattended-walrus

[unattended-walrus]

Remember "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" ? I feel like there's been a distancing from the "reduce" and "reuse" part and a favoritism towards "recycle" by corporate American.

Capitalism can still thrive with recycling in the mix. You buy Plastic Thing 1, throw it away after one use, and they take that and recycle it into Plastic Thing 2 and sell it back to you. All while continuing to harm the environment.

Reusing puts a damper on things. They can't sell you Plastic Thing 2 when you're still using Plastic Thing 1. Plastic forks, for example- there is literally no reason why you can't reuse plastic forks more than once (aside from maybe microplastics, but it's too late for that)

Reducing is the one everyone wants to ignore. Just don't buy Plastic Thing 1. You don't need Plastic Thing 1. Pick up a set of metal forks and use those for years. Convenience is killing the planet

[unattended-walrus]

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

[unattended-walrus]

Okay so there's these two brothers who are both into cosplay and decide it would be fun to do a cosplay together, going as characters who are also brothers. Having suggested a handful to each other, both agree on making a cosplay as Boromir and Faramir to attend an upcoming convention.

And at the con they happen to make aquaintance with another two-person team of cosplayers, who are also brothers in real life and had had the exact same idea, except that they had decided on cosplaying Thor and Loki respectively. And they make friends bonding over this. Like an hour later the one cosplaying Boromir and the one dressed as Loki notice that their brothers are both missing, and neither one is answering their phone or even reading messages. So they come to the conclusion that whatever they're busy with, they're probably together.

They do end up finding the missing brothers, who were indeed being busy together, with Faramir sucking Thor cosplayer's dick. So things kind of get awkward after that, and the two brother pairs agree to go their respective ways.

The con is a three-day event and on the morning of the second day, by 10 am Faramir is fucking gone again. He has somehow found another Thor cosplayer to suck off. When asked about it, he shrugs and says that it just happened. And as they say, once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern. And by the time his brother had found a fourth dude cosplaying Thor, the brother cosplaying Boromir is starting to get seriously pissed off.

He's not even mad about the dick-sucking. He knows his brother. He knows that he's got a type. He's not mad about his brother being into buff long-haired blond guys, or about him blowing through the entire goddamn convention like a fellatio tornado. It's the way that his brother keeps acting like this is some kind of a coincidence, like he just keeps stumbling upon random Thor cosplayers who just happened to be looking to get their dicks sucked. It's the dishonesty of it all that's pissing him off. So now, Boromir has to put his foot down, and he says:

"One does not simply 'walk into' more Thors."

[unattended-walrus]

A dark comedy about a cult leader who suddenly comes to his senses, realises that running a cult actually fucking sucks, tries to quit several times but the followers are too clingy, until he realises that the only way to get rid of them is to fake his own death in the most credible, believable, tangible way possible, in a way where absolutely none of them could deny that they really saw their leader straight-up die right in front of their eyes. Wouldn't even cross their minds to doubt that the corpse isn't the real deal. Their idea that their precious leader could never die (he said so once, while on cocaine) is shattered, their whole world is shattered.

So the former cult leader weasels out of it and starts a brand new, completely normal life somewhere else, happily pretending that absolutely none of that ever happened.

And then the followers find him again.

[unattended-walrus]

A wizard that regularly breaks into the gem shop where magical gemstones are cut from rough stone into their more commonly known sparkly faceted shapes - but he doesn't steal any of them. He sweeps the floor. Bags the stone crumbs and shards and dust he sweeps up. Breaks out again. The goblins who run the gem shop never bother to investigate why the floor just cleans up on its own, they assume that they've got a house elf or something.

So the wizard takes the shards and all, and grinds them all into evenly sized teeny tiny crumbs, and mixes them all together. The magic gemstone chips and crumbs become something new: magic pocket sand. Nobody knows what it'll do to you if he throws it at you. Least of all him.

[unattended-walrus]

Tenna watch out for the thirst comments

[unattended-walrus]

[unattended-walrus]

[unattended-walrus]

[unattended-walrus]

Honestly, if you're a kid and an adult tells you "they're just trying to get a reaction out of you :)" as a response to being told that some younger kid is tormenting you, that should count as full permission to punt that little shit. Like I would never hit a child, but if you're seven years old and a five-year-old is being a cunt at you and adults just tell you "oh they just want to find out what happens if they keep doing that", wouldn't only be fair to let them know what happens if they keep doing that?

Siblings should never be left responsible of raising each other, but if adults have decided that they are allowed to fuck around, wouldn't it only be your right - or even downright duty - to let them consequently find out?

[unattended-walrus]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[unattended-walrus]

Back in 1997 there was a goth lesbian Muppet

[unattended-walrus]

Back in 1997 there was a goth lesbian Muppet

[unattended-walrus]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[unattended-walrus]

A good rule of thumb for AI is "would you trust a trained pigeon to do this?"

"We trained a pigeon to recognise cancerous cell clusters and somehow they're really good at it" okay great, that's something that could plausibly be a thing.

"We trained a pigeon to recognise good CV:s and left it in charge of sorting through all our job applications" uh perhaps consider not doing that.

[unattended-walrus]

I just came up with a really inconvenient, possibly unplayable four-player game: The Evil Advisor

All you need is a completely normal chess board and a deck of cards that you can somehow divide into an even amount of cards that mean "yes" or "no". Out of the four players, only two need to know how to play chess - those play the role of advisor. The other two play as rulers. At the start of the game, both advisors pull a random card from the deck, which dictates whether their goal is to win the game, or lose it. They keep their respective card, showing it to nobody else.

The rulers, who ultimately choose where to move the pieces, always aim to win the chess game, and also know that the advisor may or may not be on their side, and don't know whether to trust the advisor or not.

If the ruler wins the chess game, they win the whole game. An advisor only wins if they reach their own goal - if an advisor's goal was to lose, but the ruler wins, the advisor loses, and vice versa.

[unattended-walrus]

Anybody else have a growing fear of updating their tech cuz everything seems to be getting worse and worse