unbreakmyhead

[unbreakmyhead]

I’ve abandoned this account so follow my new tumblr @shlubbiehubbie if you want :]

[unbreakmyhead]

how is it mario day and no one posted the essay

[unbreakmyhead]

still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

[unbreakmyhead]

promise me you'll stay on this site for 10 more years okay?

[unbreakmyhead]

congratulations! you’re now a pirate. your seventh most recent emoji is the symbol on your flag. mine is ™️

[unbreakmyhead]

Click here & whatever Pokemon you get is now your new favorite no matter what!

No rerolling unless you get a pkmn you're already obsessed with! Do you like your new favorite? 😌

[unbreakmyhead]

No offense but where are the male porn bots

[unbreakmyhead]

Jazz Song of the Day 4/13/23

A String of Pearls by Glenn Miller and His Orchestra

[unbreakmyhead]

hedgehog stew

[unbreakmyhead]

genuinely i think it's important for adults, especially in the plague times, to play pretend in our day-to-day lives. when i rub my back down with tiger balm so i can sleep without pain, i imagine i am a valiant knight tending to an old injury i received from a dragon. when i go to the store to pick up eggs and milk, i am a lone cowboy riding into town on a mission. when i turn my collar up against the wind i am a femme fatale who's killed 4 husbands and is scoping out a 5th. when i stomp around in the snow i am a doomed polar explorer. if being a little bit silly about my walk to the pharmacy helps me remember that life can be full of joy and whimsy, then so be it.

[unbreakmyhead]

presented without commentary or apology

[unbreakmyhead]

[unbreakmyhead]

Eldest Sibling Tournament — Round 1, Part 1

[unbreakmyhead]

TODAY IT’S A GREAT DAY BECAUSE IT’S MARCH 15th THE DAY WHEN DENZEL CROCKER LOST HIS HAPPINESS AND IT’S ALSO ANNOY SQUIDWARD DAY

[unbreakmyhead]

[unbreakmyhead]

i genuinely did not remember how fucked up the plot of robots (2005) was like. rich robot capitalists stop manufacturing certain parts to cause poor robots to become obsolete so they can be melted down and their metal remains used to create more high end products in the name of profit like wow thats genuinely horrifying for a movie whos target audience was mainly 8 year olds