uncannychange

[uncannychange]

[uncannychange]

She's not shocked, she's jealous.

[uncannychange]

Holy Gender stereotypes, Caped Crusader!

[uncannychange]

Welcome to Clown Town

No one knew where they came from or what they were, but for the last three weeks, Charter City had been plagued by what had come to be called the Chaos Clowns.

Malevolent shape-shifting things that mainly took the form of clowns that, after crawling out of what looked like holes in space when hopping and bouncing around, causing no end of mayhem.

Bulletproof, and if touched, seemingly made of something like smoke, their most frightening trait was that if they chose to bite, claw or even breathed on someone with their breath that smells like burnt popcorn and over sweet cotton candy , they started to morph into a chaotic whorl of forms until they finally turned solid again and found themselves transformed into a bizarre clown version of themselves. A new form they were stuck in. And in their head? Oh, my!

As would be expected, this sort of thing killed the nightlife in Charter City, which was a great disappointment for Dan Fredrick Cook, a man about town who had been staying, so he thought, safe in his apartment.

Then, a “hole” opened, and Dan felt the bite of one of them. A whirlwind of fear and chaos overtook Dan as he became Dazzle Femalevolent Cookie with a need to bound out the wondow and start streading chaos.

As she left, the original Clown shifted shape again and noticed someone else in the room besides the former Dan.

Uncaring about physical objects, it moves towards you.

Welcome to Clown Town.

[uncannychange]

Oliver Trisk thought all this New Age stuff was total bunk, but his sister had apparently paid a lot of money for this to happen, so he put up with it for her.

What he was putting up with was a session with someone who felt the need to only be known as “Lady Elaine,” who offered to “imbue those in need with healing Cosmic Grandmother Energy,” whatever the hell that was supposed to be.

Be that as it may, Oliver’s sister had signed him up for treatment with the woman because of his long-standing problem with ulcers.

So, there was Oliver, his stomach feeling sour, but not as sour as his thoughts about what was going on, which he made no effort to hide from Lady Elaine, who at least seemed to be ignoring Oliver as she did her thing.

To Oliver’s surprise, he began to feel better, and then, as Lady Elaine continued to chant, it became weirder, very weird.

Before he knew it, it was all over and Oliver felt great.

Thinking it was over, Oliver was about to get up and leave when Elaine said, “Olivia, there are some things I need to explain about the side effects that happen with some and have happened to you due to my application of Cosmic Grandmother Energy.”

“Olivia?” thought Oliver.

[uncannychange]

Noted for his two left feet on the dance floor, Doctor Paul Fleck was determined to fix that before the night of the 34th annual Advanced Science Ball.

Instead of taking lessons or watching a bunch of YouTube videos on the subject, he went with super, bordering on weird, science and hastily built his "Learning Chamber," an invention meant to instill in the person exposed to its energies months or even years of learning and practice.

His second mistake was not testing the device. His first one was mainly using videos of showgirl reviews from Vegas for his input. But the ball was just two days away, so he stepped in and hit the start button.

Knowledge and skill flooded his mind and body. He stepped out ready to go. Then the side effects hit.

The ironic bit was that in the end Dr. Fleck was still not a very good dancer, but no one really cared.

[uncannychange]

A young lad's strange London adventure.

It is 1891, and plucky London orphan Earnest Baycroft is desperately in need of employment., the top hat blacking factory he had been working at having just burned down.

Word on Limestreet told him that a very eccentric gentleman named Doctor Albert St. Skulls the IVth lived there.

“But be careful,” said his informer, “They say he is more strict than most, and many the lad, such as yourself, what has gone to work for him, have not been seen for years, and when they turn back up, they refuse to talk about it.”

Unafraid of hard work or commitment, Earnest went to seek the job, with hat in hand, to knock on the St. Skulls' door.

Instead of opening, a slot in the door opened, revealing something like a garden hose that sprayed not water but something more like focused lightning that stuck Baycroft, knocking him both back three paces, and knocking all the young manliness out of him.

“What is this?” Earnest shouted in her new girlish voice and proceeded to pound on the door. "I demand to know what you have done to me, sir!” she demanded.

The door opened and she charged inside.

Earnest soon found out what it was all about. A scientist of some renown, Albert St. Skulls had recently been the victim of a high rate of dishonest house staff who had made off with the plans for what would have been some of his most impressive discoveries.

His salution, the development of a device that could do what it had done to Young Mister Baycroft’s form.

The deal he was offered, and a well-paying one it was, was that he or rather she would work for Dr. St. Skulls for four years and then, if she proved worthy, she would be reverted to her original form. However, if she didn’t like it, she could just leave, as she was, to fend for herself as an orphan girl in cruel London Town.

Earnest took the job. For the duration of her stay, she was renamed Miss Delphine. She was then introduced to the other four former lads who made up the rest of the staff.

More impactful on Miss Delphine’s life where the members of the St. Skulls family dominering Mrs. Ambrosine St. Skulls, whose thoughts on the deportment of young women led to some peculiar training for the staff, and the willful and diabolically playful St. Skulls sisters Celestia and Petronilla who presented things from a different angle

In the end, it was a strange and eventful four years for Miss Dalphine Baycroft.

[uncannychange]

Walk a Mile in Your Stereotype of Her.

Dave broke up with his otherwise very normal and charming girlfriend of three years when she told him she was a witch. "I can't deal with weird and spooky!" said Dave. " Since when have I ever been that?" asked an incensed Becky. Dave said no more but just stopped having anything to do with her without another word.

Then, one month later, Dave found a fancy-looking box on his desk. "You want weird and spooky? I'll give you weird and spooky!" signed Becky

Then the box let out a poof of magenta smoke, and the next thing "Dave" knew, she was on her way to HR, where they wanted to talk about his new mode of dress and demeanor. Davenore Spikerkiss could only laugh and preen. It seemed she had finally Goth the joke, and it was on her.

[uncannychange]

Things were looking dire for the widower Pauline as the cruel banker came out to announce he was tossing her off her land in just three days.

Seeing nothing else she could do, Pauline called on her pet. “Fluffy, come here!” she cried.

The banker laughed, “Are you going to force me to kick your puppy to death?” then he got a look at “Fluffy.”

“Smoke him, girl!” commanded Pauline, and in a flash, the gigantic beast released a strange, sweet-smelling fire on the banker. The fire didn’t burn him up; instead, it burned away his form, replacing it with, as Pauline had trained the dragon to do, knowing the banker would be coming soon, the form of a female domestic servant.

“Gasp,” said the former banker. I think I will call you Missie.” Pauline said, " Come with me, girl. I have some training and instructions to give you.”

Off went the two women, Missie, finding she had to obey.

Fluffy was left on her own.

Having enjoyed that, Fluffy decided to go out and poof a few random people into random new people just for dragon giggles.

[uncannychange]

Reading is Fundamental

Bill and Sam were worried about their roommate Carl, a certified weirdo who was always talking about Ley lines, Chaos Magick, the Kabbalah, and other stuff and nonsense.

His latest thing was an off-market “book of forbidden lore” called Secret Knowledge or The Mighty Voice of Venus by a Madame Merlidona, which Carl claimed was a rare grimoire that worked.

“Yeah,” he told them as if they cared, “she says this is female-empowering magick forbidden to men, but I’m sure I can work out how to use it.”

Bill and Sam had shrugged, and Carl had sealed himself in his room, where all sorts of weird noises emanated, but he remained unseen for three whole days.

Then, after a half day of complete silence, they became worried about Carl and forced his door open.

To their surprise, they found that Carl had really been hidden away with a girlfriend they knew nothing about.

Or at least that's what they thought at first until the woman used Carl’s patented “leave me along gesture” and said in a woman's voice but with Carl’s accent and cadence, “Leave me along, guys! I’m close to a real breakthrough here.”

Bill and Sam backed slowly out of the room and shut the door.

“So what do we do now?” asked Sam. “What else?” said Bill, “We brag about our new hot girl roommate down at the pub!”

[uncannychange]

“Gawd! Please make this the last version of the Freaky Friday trope they feel the need to make. Still, it was kind of cute.” – Sam Drizzle, Fort Wayne Gazette.

I see Cate Blanchett and Tom Hollands in the lead roles.

A scene from the movie.

[uncannychange]

Like mother, like son.

[uncannychange]

Nu Ape Flu? How about a New Do?

Catherine Armstrong, co-president with her husband Richard of Nutrition Gems Health Bars, an up-and-coming health and energy product, had been negotiating a deal for barley and oats in Canada.

As usual for her, it had been a grand success, mainly due to her business skills, but also in no small part because of the charm and grace of the always perfectly attired, flawlessly applied makeup and coiffured honey-blonde hair of the businesswoman.

Then Richard got a text from her saying that her return to Oregon would be delayed due to her having gotten the rare and bizarre new flu showing up called RNA-23 Dex-Gamma 5, or as nicknamed by the public, the Nue-Ape Flu, which in some rare cases allegedly, affected the deep cells of the victim's body and causing avataric changes in the from long past ancestry, extremely long past ancestry.

Catherine, it seems, had one of the worst cases on record. So bad that she was kept isolated and incommunicado for two whole months, with Richard hearing nothing but what the hospital told him.

Then, at last, she contacted him.

“It was very rough there for a while.” read the first text from Catherine in 64 days. “but I am up and feeling as healthy as ever!”

“I’ll be right there right away to get you!” replied Richard.

“No need,” she typed. I was released two days ago, but I looked a total mess… among other things, and could not think of coming back without a new outfit and a complete makeover.”

“So you’re on your way home?” asked Richard

“No, I'm already here. I waited until I was back before I texted you. I’m standing outside the door, open it, and say hello…. I’ve really been missing you, dear! But there is something I must tell you first.”

Richard didn’t understand why she had not just come right in, but not waiting for another text, went straight to the door of their top-floor apartment and opened it.

Richard saw why she had hesitated to walk in.

“You smell fantastic!” said Catherine, sniffing in the direction of her stunned husband. "Yes, I know… very different, but you would not believe how much my senses of taste and smell have improved. I am going to really be able to improve our products.”

“Now, I already told you I’ve been missing you; take me in and show me how much you’ve been missing me.”

[uncannychange]

A very heavy user of TicTok Jerry Windale Farmer was crushed to see it going dark in America. He thought about joining RedNote, but he knew it would just not be the same.

One of the last things he saw on the site was an offer from a Chinese corporation called The International Zhaopian 3434 Smart Phone Company, which calmed to have the most powerful filter app in the world, said they would let TicTok users have a one time use of it by hitting a link.

Jerry hit the link.

The thing about the Zhaopian 3434 app was that it didn’t alter the photos of the users, it altered the user.

After hitting the link Jerry felt a strange tingle and with a gentle zap TicTok and his old self were gone.

Later, now speaking perfect Mandarin, Jerry, or as she now called herself, Feng Jier Wenquing found she had to join RedNote after all.

[uncannychange]

Evolution (2015) Surreal Art House Horror film.

[uncannychange]

Powerful witch Tammy Waverly, knowing she was close to death, hired a man named Tom Campbell to take care of her yard.

However, she had other plans for him, and when the time was right, she performed a spell that caused the two of them to combine into a new person made up of each of them in equal parts.

She now calls themselvesTwain Wavebell.

[uncannychange]

Rodeo bull rider Alamo Slim had not expected to stumble into a multi-verse side-step, but apparently those things happened, so now he found himself in a new Universe and changed to fit in it, to boot!

And it took her two whole weeks to get used to the boots she found herself wearing on a daily basic in that new world.