und3rcoverlov3r

[und3rcoverlov3r]

Remember the concert I told you about? I actually went to it July 21st and it was so amazing, I would have loved to tell you about it, guess another time.

[und3rcoverlov3r]

Oscar Wilde, from a letter featured in The Selected Letters of Oscar Wilde

[und3rcoverlov3r]

I won't block your number in case you need someone who loves you.

[und3rcoverlov3r]

[und3rcoverlov3r]

“You have to let go of what could have been, how you should have acted and what you wish you would have said differently. You have to accept that you can’t change the past experiences, opinions of others at that moment in time or outcomes from their choices or yours. When you finally recognize that truth then you will understand the true meaning of forgiveness of yourself and others. From this point you will finally be free.”

— Shannon L. Alder

[und3rcoverlov3r]

You were the Sun, I was the moon

[und3rcoverlov3r]

“How was I supposed to know what’s real and what’s not? It feels like I’m the only one who doesn’t know the difference.”

— Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before

[und3rcoverlov3r]

“The saddest truth is realising you have fallen madly in love with what can never be.”

— Michael Faudet

[und3rcoverlov3r]

sometimes when I’m thinking about you and my head gets quiet.. I can feel that you already forgot about me.. that I was just a side step in your life, a road bump in your story book, the artsy girl who was strangely the “female version” of me in the spring of ‘25… spring of ‘25.. is that our story?.. with how slow time felt with you but quick lived, our situation could be a short film, maybe even a 6 episode series, but so admired, if I wasn’t me and watched it, I wouldn’t recommend it but keep it saved as a guilty pleasure.

[und3rcoverlov3r]

Watched all three movies. The third was a lot more complicated, and felt real, the only film of the three that made me fight a tear. I didn’t expect to finish them honestly but I guess thinking of you made them interesting. Of course their wasn’t ideal, they ended up together but ofc he was divorced from his wife but a son he loved which caused issues with the girl with their marriage and little girls. Their love was tarnishing it seemed m, words were thrown, truths were told, realities were checked, had many almost break up moments, but in the end they changed their mind. I don’t want to say we could’ve ended up that way it’s weird, but maybe the decisions we make are what was supposed to happen. Again I may be having a small moment of clarity or relief from our situation but it’s light on my chest, of course I miss you, and wished we actually happened so that I would know it didn’t work and I can move on but.. we didn’t even start so how can I.. how could I. Clarity and closure from someone I had connection with but knew for a short time.

[und3rcoverlov3r]

Finished the second movie.. and the dream I told you about.. it happened to them. They seen each other years later.. NINE years later, and he was married. When I told in our last talk that I had a dream that I would find out years later that you would be married, you laughed because I said it would be from an invitation, not given ofc yk it’s a dream so things don’t make sense, but in the movie.. she found out years later like in my dream but from a newspaper because the guy became an actor to a bestselling book… didn’t we say we hope to see the others art in a museum.. starting to feel scary that there’s stories artist and scriptwriters create that are.. realistic.. I feel in this moment that I should start.. forgetting about you, but ik this a fleeting thought because I almost cried again a few days ago thinking about you. It’s weird. Seeing parts of our situation in different films with different outcomes.. either false hope or reality.

[und3rcoverlov3r]

I can feel you everywhere.

[und3rcoverlov3r]

[und3rcoverlov3r]

I finished the first movie. Two more to go. The ending of the first one is what I wished we had..a change, they didn’t actually want it to end or to say goodbye even after they did and instead actually did something about it and said they want to keep talking to each other.. and as I’m watching the beginning of the second movie.. they’ve seen each other again.. yea.. they are long distance

[und3rcoverlov3r]

wish I could talk to you about this movie, I like it, it’s calm, music has played only once and it was for one scene… it’s such a quiet movie.. I don’t know I just feel you would have thoughts on it

[und3rcoverlov3r]

“When you are attracted to people, it’s because of the details. Their kindness. Their eyes. The fact that they can get you to laugh when you need it the most.”

— Jodi Picoult

[und3rcoverlov3r]

Here I am blaming time…

Right person, Wrong me.