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Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln

In the light of recent events, I am reminded of a unique and often un-talked-about attraction at Disneyland park in California.  Allow me a moment to set the scene by providing a little background before jumping in to its relevance today. Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln was created by Disney Imagineers for the 1964 World’s fair, and has been showing in Disneyland since 1965.  The show features an animatronic Mr. Lincoln who stands and gives a composite speech of excerpts taken from several speeches he gave.  Over the years, the show has changed a bit here and there, but the speech has remained mostly unchanged - although roughly a paragraph has been trimmed since 1965. The show and technical details are things I can wax on about, so I’ll skip over all that to the part that I believe is most relevant today. After the first act, which serves as an introduction to Mr. Lincoln’s life, the announcer says “His prophetic words are as valid for our time as they were for his.  And now, the skills of the sculptor and talents of the artist have enabled us to relive great moments with Mr. Lincoln.” Part of the speech is taken from  “Address before the Young Men’s Lyceum of Springfield, Illinois” that was given on January 27, 1838.  The excerpt taken reads:

“At what point shall we expect the approach of danger?  By what means shall we fortify against it?  Shall we expect some trans-Atlantic military giant to step the ocean and crush us at a blow?  Never!  All the armies of Europe, Asia, and Africa combined could not, by force, take a drink from the Ohio or make a track on the Blue Ridge in a trial of a thousand years.  At what point, then, is the approach of danger to be expected?  I answer, [that] if it ever reach us, it must spring [from] amongst us; it cannot come from abroad.  If destruction be our lot, we [ourselves must] be [the] author[s] and finisher[s].  As a nation of free men, we must live through all time[s], or die by suicide.”

Think about it for a moment.  Words written in 1838, in a world very much different from today, resurrected in 1964, which is almost as different from today as 1964 was from 1838, still hold true.  A foreign power could not hope to invade the country successfully.  But in the strength of a republic there is a fatal weakness, an Achilles’ heel.  We, the citizens, must carefully weigh the merits of our elected leadership, and I believe that is a responsibility that many people do not adequately execute.

I personally find the entire 15 minute show to be one of the great experiences at the park, and you can watch it here.  (Disney does not have an official video, it seems).  Also, you can check out the wikipedia page for the full text of the original speech, what changes the attraction has seen over the years, and references to the speeches the excerpts were taken from.

I hope we can see the nation live through these times, and not die by suicide.

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Regret - unfinished

I do not regret what I did today Or what I will do tomorrow What I did in time long past Is where I rest my sorrow

For looking back through murky time I find I see the clearest What might have been perhaps may be The choice unknown was dearest

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New Year’s Toast

As we go into the new year, I thought I’d prepare a little toast: Here's to the people who helped make us who we are today.  To the people who, by choice or circumstance, by intention or happenstance, became important in our lives, for good or for ill.  Mistaken trust, honest love, harsh words said in haste, these are all experiences which we will carry with us into the future.  To the events that have forged our personalities and maimed our souls.  Some wounds are deep and we carry them with regret, but let us not regret the lessons we learned from them. So here's to the friends we've made along the way.  Here's to the hard times and the harsh words.  Here's to the people who are not with us here today that we still carry with us, in love or in anger.  Here's to remembering the good times and learning from the bad.  Here's to the start of a new year, and all the hope and promise it brings.  May it bring new lessons and pleasant teachers.

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Bittersweet Memories

Life moves on and the good times go Remembered with a lingering glow Memories, a bridge to the past Outliving what cannot last

The memory hasn't changed As pure as the day it was made But now it is recalled with pain A longing for those times again

Now the memory is bittersweet For never more shall we meet At least for some time undisclosed Until our paths once again draw close

Perhaps one day we will Meet again with laughter still And new memories to provide for days When, once again, we have parted ways

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So I’m having a conversation with a friend about the state of the world and our outlook on the future.  My friend is seeing all this evil around and is worried about the future.  Should we trust our government to do what’s right?  Is there good left in the world?  Are we merely in a state of complacency because we are too ingrained to trust and keep our heads down? Now, I believe that the amount of do-gooders in the world is significantly higher than the do-badders.  And that the amount of good being done in the world is so much more than the bad.  Yes, with events like last week, it is hard to say that.  But look at how many people are reaching out to support and grieve. Our technology is what makes the world so much brighter, and also so much worse.  We hear, instantly, about any problem in the world.  Yet we are also more able to keep in touch with friends and family.  We can see the bad, reach out to those who need help, and enact change faster now than ever before.  Our generation has just begun to appreciate how much power we have to change the world, and to change it for the better.  I think it is only a matter of how positively we look at problems.  Instead of seeing the worst of the world and giving in to despair, let’s look at the worst of the world and see how we can make it better.  What can we do to improve, not just our country, but the world itself?  Let us choose to solve problems, not ignore them. If we are who we choose to be, if fate is not written and our futures are not dictated, then this world is what we choose to make it.  Let us strive, through simple, small, isolated acts of goodness and kindness, to be a positive force in the world.  We may feel like it’s going to hell, but we sure have time to steer it in a different direction if we all pull together.

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An additional bad habit is unintentionally writing walls of text for your viewing pleasure

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I have a few bad habits, but perhaps the worst (and the one no one notices) is my tendency to worry about what other people think.  I don't claim to be alone in this, but I felt like talking some about it tonight.

As an engineer, I deal with things that are predictable.  I collect data and draw conclusions.  Things work because they are predictable.  People, as we all know, are not predictable.  I study them (from an engineering standpoint), I understand how they might react to some things I do or say, but most of the time I have very little idea what exactly they will do.  Obviously, this makes actions hard to predict.

Where I'm trying to go with this is why I spend so much time thinking about things that probably don't matter to anyone anymore, nor are they things I can change.  When I recall that time I made someone mad at me, am I trying to predict how they will react to me in future dealings?  Am I trying to understand why they got mad so I can avoid that issue in the future?  It might be some of each.  This kind of introspective is good, even healthy, as it allows me to grow socially.

However, when I start to worry about what other people think of me, that usually does not result in any sort of healthy conclusion.  I have friends who I was very close with, we would talk quite a lot and see each other often.  Over time, things became busier and we talk less.  In some cases, it has been months or years since we last saw each other, and months since we last had meaningful communication.  As I've mentioned before, friendships are very important to me, and I think about them a lot.  What do these people who I don't talk with much anymore think of me?  Do they miss me as much as I miss them?  Do they think of me and wonder how I'm doing?

Too often, I am willing to accept the most unlikely answers because they result in the simplest reasoning, namely, my friends stopped liking me and therefore stopped talked to me.  Even after these same friends have told me, directly, to my face, emphatically, that this is not the case!  (in these cases, generally I have additional knowledge as to other issues going on, such as starting a new job or moving to a new place) Why do I persist in choosing to believe that these people would lie to me rather than the much more reasonable answer of something like full time jobs and being in a relationship leaves very little time for friends?

I'm even in that boat, full time employment, finishing my degree, and commuting takes up most of my week, leaving me barely any time at home.  How can I judge others as being uncaring when I can't even catch up on emails?  I don't have the time or energy to even attempt to get all my friends together to hang out like I used to do.

On the other hand, I still try to make myself available if they want to hang out.  I know I'm probably the most flexible person in the world when it comes to planning time to do things (but once I get a plan, it's set in stone and must be adhered to).  I try to make contact with them once in a while at least.  Sometimes it takes a few days for a reply to come back, and that makes me wonder as well.

I know these people have their phones on them at all times.  I know they reply instantly to some messages, because when we do hang out, they will be texting other friends.  But when I send them something, they don't reply.  These are the sorts of situations I spend my time thinking about.

How does one predict behaviors when a reaction to similar stimulus is dependent on the person providing the stimulus?  Why do I even attempt to try, knowing that I am doomed to fail at it?  I bring this upon myself, knowingly, and torture myself into feeling like I deserve it.  In some ways I lie to myself and make me believe it, forgetting or omitting data that contradicts the view I've taken.

In short, help me out and reply to your texts every once in a while.

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Engineering thought: “Cars are powered by explosions”

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Hope

The longer I live The more that I see Justice and Peace And sweet liberty

But the prices paid For terms such as these How much do they cost? How privileged are we?

For one person's in Heaven Another's in Hell One life forsaken One living well

How is it fair That my trials are small And another has problems I can't relate to at all

Why are some of us lucky And some of us cursed? When will patience be rewarded And roles reversed?

How can I justify The love that I have When other people Don't have a dad?

What can I do To help those in need? Any word, any kindness Any sort of Deed

Give yourself to helping Be part of the cure Stop sitting, start doing! Allow hope to endure

For this world we live in Is great in many respects We are responsible For its future aspects

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Fires

It can be said that love is like a fire.  Relationships (as an expression of love), like fires, come in many forms, and an analogy could be drawn between them.

Fire type:  Dry Brush This type of fire starts easily, burns quickly, and if not fed, will die and leave nothing useful after a short time.  Likewise, these relationships start with physical attraction and, if not developed, end after a short period when the initial attraction fades.  This often results in a one night stand or similar short relationship. The good news:  This is the ideal way to start any fire, and while relationships don't have to start with physical attraction, they often do.  Learning to build from that point with other shared interests and views can feed the fire and allow the relationship to grow.

Fire type:  Campfire This type of fire is warm and welcoming.  It is on the smaller side, and needs feeding regularly to keep the flame up.  However, it can be kept going indefinitely with a little care.  Likewise, this type of relationship is slow and steady.  It might not grow much, but simple maintenance is enough to keep things going. The good news:  This fire can grow or die off with relative ease.  Likewise, the relationship this represents can swing either way.  It can grow stronger or fade out rather easily and with fewer hard feelings.

Fire type:  Bond fire A bigger campfire, this fire is hot and intense.  It consumes more fuel, but is bigger and brighter.  Likewise, these relationships grow quickly, but sometimes lack enough fuel to last a significantly long time.  Additionally, these relationships last longer than a brush fire, but require more to keep each party interested in the long run. The good news:  This fire can cool but not burn out.  A brush fire leaves nothing behind, but the bond fire can turn into a campfire or even embers easily.  It might be hard to maintain a relationship at this high of a level for long periods, but many fire types can temporarily peak in this area.

Fire type:  Hearth fire This is the most steady and cyclic fire.  A large bed of embers keeps this fire going through cold nights, to be rekindled in the morning and kept going for the day.  It is the longest lasting fire, and likewise, is the most stable and longest lasting relationship.  Keeping it going takes work, but there is room for error. The good news:  No fire starts out this way.  It takes effort and work to build up the ember bed to this level, but once it is reached, the fire will only go out through a long period of inattention.  These relationships take time to build, but the work is worth the result.

Fire type:  Ember Embers are the heart of a fire.  They produce little flame, but put out a lot of heat.  Most of the time, an ember bed can be rekindled with fuel to produce flame again.  These are relationships waiting to start, but requiring some attention and tangible fuel to really flame up. The good news:  Embers can stay warm for long periods.  Very little needs to be done to maintain them as they are, though they will die out eventually if no fuel is given to them.  They are the most passive of fires.

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Doubt

When life goes right And all is light What more is there to fear Than losing those most dear

When you look away Though all is okay And your vigilance is lax The dark slips in the cracks

Darkness brings fear And endings draw near Shadowed with a doubt And hope is stopped with a shout

And suddenly, where once was bright light Seems instead the darkest night With naught to guide And no place to hide

Out of this murk Where doubts grow and lurk Regain the heights Follow the light

Let hope flow free Watch it joyously Grow and take flight And carry away the night

For wrong you have been The light never dimmed You just let it out of sight A made yourself believe the plight

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Musings on Police and Shootings

As with most of this series, these thoughts were turned over as I was taking a shower, and were, not surprisingly, brought about by the recent activism in Ferguson. Now, before I get into the actual thoughts I had, I want to make something very clear: I am as upset and outraged at the racial segregation in our culture as everyone else.  I believe in equality and fair treatment and that race shouldn't matter.  My thoughts tend to ignore the race issue completely, which somewhat started me on this train of thought.  This one is a long one that most people probably won't agree with, but what's the point of a blog if I don't write stuff now and then?

As I said, this is a barely informed, probably biased series of events.  I think a few things here are worth pointing out, however.  First off, one thing I have heard is that the officer is a 5'7" guy and the kid was 6'something and weighed 260+ pounds.  That raises some thoughts in my mind as far as explaining some of the responses and interactions.  Back to the start: what were kids doing walking down the middle of a street?  That's a good way to get noticed.  Secondly, when someone tells them to walk on the sidewalk (a seemingly reasonable request), they refuse?  I don't understand that thought process, especially when the person telling/asking you to get off the street is a cop.  And then he/they (I never heard anything about what happened to the other kid) decides to attack the cop?  Can there be a stupider thing to do?  The cop, however, then reacts badly to the situation.  Why did he go for his gun rather than a taser or mace/pepper spray?  And then, why did he continue to shoot someone when they had been injured?  Wouldn't there be time to get a non-lethal option ready at that point?  The entire situation was badly played by both sides.

I find myself wondering why; why would someone put themselves in a position to be shot?  Why is there so much outrage over this one action than any of the other countless shootings that happen nationwide?

I did a little research and found that there is no actual record keeping or statistics about how many fatal (or non fatal) shootings there are by police.  Here is a link with that news article.  For those of you who don't want to read it, the FBI has a opt-in database that some departments report to if they feel like it.  It reports a total of 400-600 fatal shootings a year.  Other people have done studies that check the internet for stories daily, and have found that there can be more than 1,100 fatal police shootings a year.  Other studies show that less than half the people shot by police die, so the number of people shot by police over the course of a year can be as high as 3,000-4,000.  That is a lot of people, and I believe that most of them probably deserved it (yes, I'm not the most sympathetic person).  (I minimize the implications of it here, because it doesn't flow with what I am attempting to write about, but the lack of data is a scary thing that something should be done about)

One of the things I hear a lot is that police are trained to go for their weapon only as a last resort.  If that is the case, then to get shot by an officer, someone has to be, more or less, asking for it.  I don't know about anyone else, but if someone points a gun at me and says get on the ground, I'm going to get on the ground.  Now, I tend to feel like it shouldn't even come to that, since generally a little respect and clearly stating what you think is going on (and being flexible enough to work to a solution) tends to resolve most problems.

Back to the case at hand: How can we explain the behavior of the officer and the kid?  I have noticed that the more polite and reasonable you are in dealing with an officer, the nicer and more reasonable the officer will be with you (not always, but it's like dealing with customer service, it can help).  However, it is also well known that blacks tend to fear/have less respect for officers than whites.  Why is this?  Because officers seem to shoot more blacks with fewer reasons, of course.  But wait, if being rude to an officer increases the likelihood of being shot, and people of your race getting shot doesn't make you happy with the shooters (can't blame you), then we have a terrible circular logic of death and terrible situations that spiral out of hand.  Which, from what I've heard, is what happened here.  The officer says something, the kid curses him out, the officer tries again, the kid goes to fight him, and the officer shoots him.

So I can see the reluctance to follow a direction given by a cop.  I can almost understand why.  I still think it's fucking stupid to walk down the middle of the street, and I still think it is the officer's job to ask you to walk on the sidewalk (since, in most places, walking in the street is illegal).  The proper response, it seems to me, is to say, "yes sir" and get on the sidewalk.  Suddenly the officer has no more problems with you and leaves you alone.  Yes, you have to do what an officer says, but it's not even an unreasonable request.

I don't know why it didn't end like that.  I can't tell you who was right and who was wrong.  Hell, I can't even know what it's like growing up as a person of color.  All I can do is analyze the situation and say, based on the information given to me, here is what went wrong.  I believe that the officer made mistakes.  I believe the kid made mistakes.

A few random side thoughts:  First off, if it had been a white kid, none of this would be happening.  Same situation, exactly the same stuff except for a race change and no one would give a fuck about it.  If the action were morally wrong, the action of shooting an unarmed kid, why are we focusing on race?  If the race of the kid matters so much, why?  From what I have read (again, admittedly a limited amount) this is not some cop who was running around looking for an excuse to kill a black guy.  This does not seem to be a racially motivated crime to me.  In thinking on this for a moment, I feel some would say that it was not the shooting (though since it was a white cop shooting black kid, it gained publicity) but the results of the jury that is causing the uproar.  Very well, but again I ask, if the kid had been white, no one would care that the officer got off.  The news wouldn't even report the story since no one would care.

Why do we care so much about this one shooting out of the thousands that are alleged to happen each year?  Because this is the one we are told about.  Why this one?  Because it has elements that will make people care.  Because the only news that sells is news people care about.  And if there is a side to argue back, then a war will start over this little incident and it will sell for a long, long time.

So here we are, if you made it this far.  The whole thing, in my mind, is folding like a house of cards.  Here we are, a bunch of people mad about racism existing (which is a good thing to be mad about), feeding racism by making it an issue.  If stories like this don't make the news (which they do because people care about them), then blacks will have less to fear/hate cops about, which means they will interact better, which means they might make decisions that doesn't involve violence, which means there will be less race related shootings, which means there will be fewer reports on them, which creates exactly the opposite cycle to what is going on now.  We are, all of us, responsible for this situation.

I'll be happy to talk about my views (which are more general, I just used this situation as an example) and welcome any concise report on what actually happened.  I hope people do not misunderstand my points; I am not trying to mitigate what happened, how people feel about it, or the desire for change to happen.  I wholeheartedly agree with more unbiased reporting on agencies, more oversight for police officers on duty (without impacting their ability to deal with tough situations) and more accountability for officer actions.  I believe in the last 50 years we have made huge strides toward equality.  We are not there yet, but things are better now than they were, and I believe they will continue to improve.

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Technology as a Gimmick

One of the best things about humanity, as a whole, is the vast amount of curiosity and adaptability we have.  When faced with a problem, we overcome it.  And while 75% of people might overcome it in the same way, that other 25% takes such a novel, out of the box direction that some of the best ideas are born. I'm not here to shoot that down; that's amazing and great.  I'm here to warn you against using technology as a gimmick.  And what do I mean by that?  Technology can do some amazing things, but we are surrounded by it so much that it seems mundane.  Look, here I am spreading an opinion on the internet to potentially thousands or millions of people (I know only 3 will actually read this, but that's not the point).  This is shockingly amazing, and we take it for granted. It's been said that we have the technology to save countless lives, to lift up millions of tired spirits and to render hopeful the downtrodden.  I don't disagree, but the use of technology to brighten people's days can't just be novel, it has to have the same effect after months of coming in contact with it. For example, recently a group turned a subway staircase into a giant piano keyboard that would play a tone as people walked on the steps.  The first day this piano was a huge hit and more people took the stairs than the escalator.  However, I bet that after a week, people no longer cared about the stairs.  Indeed, I bet it would get annoying after a while.  And what about upkeep?  Surely the touch sensors on the keys would wear out after thousands of people walked on them. While this technology, in the short run of a few days, brightened lives and made for a fun commute, in the long run it fell short of the goals of being a continual improvement in people's lives.  And while using it in one place makes it unique (and therefor more of a novelty), if every public staircase was like that, the entire idea would quickly be scrapped due to sheer annoyance. That is using technology as a gimmick. And, please, don't get me wrong.  It was a wonderful idea that DID brighten that subway station for a few days at the very least.  I am only trying to say that the goal for this needs to be much longer-term.  How long until a specific technology loses its novelty factor and no longer affects people in a significantly different (and hopefully positive) fashion is a very important problem to consider and creating technology that remains new each time we see it is an important design consideration.  And a solution to that problem will go a long way to keeping technology from being a gimmick.

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Loser

I wouldn't say that I'm a failure To say I lost wouldn't be true For in striving hard for a goal Giving up is the worst you can do Yet it seems that I'm a loser For no progress have I made I'm trapped with no answers My purpose has begun to fade I know I have not yet Met with that sweet success And so I judge myself harshly Cause myself undo distress And though I know what I do Still I feel a loser, through and through And yet nothing will change Unless to myself I hold true

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I don't reblog.  I don't like.  I have 7 followers, 6 of whom i KNOW personally.  Why the fuck am i doing this?  I don't even know how to answer questions on this thing.

Reblog if you will answer LITERALLY ANY anon questions.

BRING IT ON

Normally I wouldn’t do this crap… but… why not?

Might be sad if I don’t get any. 

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Answers

I just wish I had the answers For with answers I can see The right, the wrong, How all along I had been decieved It was not malacious intent That lead to this discontent I was lead astray By my own thoughts betrayed My heart decieved my brain Through this tormoil I blunder My feelings ripped asunder My heart has joined the fray My brain has gone away Where am I to stay? For though my heart has spoken It has left much unknown Feelings unspoken Potientally broken Am I to go this way? My brain cannot comprehend The feelings my heart sends They defy explination And require examination Before I make amends So torn between the two I know not what to do Answers I require To know what I desire And they all just melt away

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Fire Wyrm

Total time: 16 hours