understandingpoli-blog

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culminating paper

As a maturing teenager, I was always the type to be very adventurous and I tend to explore everything before establishing what I like and what fits me and all that. This exploring nature may be because I am still trying to search for myself and am still trying to discover who I actually am. I was never completely comfortable with how I present myself because I haven’t fully grasped it yet. Taking this course, Understanding the Self, has helped me dive deeper into the understanding of my own self, as the name itself suggests.

INTRODUCTORY TOPICS

Bioecological Theory

As these were the first few topics discussed in the course, I was very confused as to why everything was so complicated. I expected a simple course that will help me discover myself by discussing my hobbies and whatnot, but turns out it’s full of technicalities; the self is more complicated than I expected. Bronfenbrenner’s Bioecological Theory introduced me to the subsystems that I interact with dynamically and the self produced within different contexts. The PPCT Model was also able to summarize the model; it’s meaning being Process-Person-Context-Time. 

I was able to apply the proximal process of my interactions with others to the identification of myself. Take for example my High School friends who I’ve interacted with regularly for an extended period of time; they were able to help shape who I am today. I was also able to see how others may perceive me and my personality because of the Demand, Resource, and Force characteristics I have. My most prominent demand characteristic would probably be that I am a Filipina. I could place myself in different contexts now as well and see that there is a bigger picture as to the behavior of the people around me and its effects on me, like in the exosystem and macrosystem. The culture I was bred in resulted in me using slang such as ‘deins’ and ‘pare’, and it was interesting to know that some of the things my close loved ones experience may also affect me. Time, though, was very easy to understand knowing time really is an important aspect in the growth of a person.

The Self in the Globalizing World

The Hybrid Identities activity helped me understand myself with regards to this topic. I was able to visualize and differentiate the different global and local characteristics that make up Sophie Policarpio. Though she is a pure Filipino, she is highly influenced by external entities. It really is hard to pinpoint one exact identity, and I was also flustered to see that who I thought I was was actually a hybrid of many, but in the end I accepted that it is a product of my development and the conditions I was raised in. The fact that I am writing this essay in English already gives me a hybrid identity.

MODULE 1

The Thinking Self

The existence of a System 1 and System 2 working in my brain during my thought process was a new concept to me. Their dynamic of how one works faster than the other is fascinating and I guess one is more important than the other depending on the context. One is fast and automatic while one is slow and deliberate. Meanwhile, the cognitive biases are the ones I find very accurate. Now that I think about it, I am actually more victim to the Anchoring and Adjusting one. For example, I am thinking about eating this last bag of chips that was reserved for my sister, but then I get a reference point and say, "Oh it's okay, minsan lang naman eh," when in fact the actual deed is not right at all and I only tried to justify it.

The Feeling Self

I was so glad to know that what I learned in the children's movie Inside Out would actually be helpful in class. The discussion of basic emotions was easy because of this. My biggest takeaway from this, though, would have to be that your emotional condition does not only affect your head, but the entire body as well. This is why I feel too incompetent and too indulgent at times, because I tend to accommodate my lazy and greedy needs as a result of the hormones that are released depending on my mood. Another takeaway would be discovering how we react to a stimulus and identifying what to feel because of it. The emotional experience was presented as a process to understand this with having an ABC acronym: A for activating event which is the stimuli, B for beliefs which is what affects our assessments, and C for consequence of an emotion felt as a result of the evaluation.

MODULE 2

Psychodynamic Theory

Freud’s Psychosexual Theory of Development was the hardest for me to take in, since I personally am disturbed by the fact that this is a theory we are required to study. It does not apply to me at all, especially the oedipus complex and things like electra complex. I am sure about not being attracted to my parents at all, and I have never felt inferior to the male genitalia. I still am not sure as to why and how Freud has come up with this concept, but what I do understand is presence of the Id, Ego, and Superego. I do have internal conflicts and discussions in my head, and I know that this happens when these components are conflicting in my head whenever I try to make decisions. I also find myself relating to the fixations and defense mechanisms as mentioned in this theory. I smoke now and stress eat as well, which is a fixation that may have been fostered ever since the very early oral stage. As for my defense mechanisms, I relate most to sublimation in the form of music and compensation to try and distract myself from my problems. I rely on music and start writing songs to express myself and I always try to look for things to do or keep myself busy so I can avoid my problems.

Psychosocial Theory

Erikson's Psychosocial Theory, on the other hand, is what I feel is the most realistic. Furthermore, this covers all the stages in life until old age. I was really able to analyze my past and present experiences to each stage that I have already gone through. To cite an example, I consider myself very ambitious so I was able to relate to the Industry vs Inferiority Stage and looking for a sense of accomplishment under the pressures of the industry. I believe my being ambitious has helped me grow into the abilities and hobbies I hone now. I believe, too, that as I grow up, I will be able to look back on these stages and apply them to myself in the future.

MODULE 3

Family

I’ve always had issues with my parents that until today have never been resolved. This is why I relate so much to the Individuation aspect of this topic, specifically the separation and self-assertion components. I do try the mutuality and permeability components and try to understand them but the issue is that they don’t try to understand my side. They always force their ideals on me, then I saw that this behavior falls under psychological control and I never felt so validated. I have always been invalidated for going against my parents but it turns out I was just fighting against their psychological control. I understand that they are the ones who raised me and they have put me where I am today and I am so privileged, but this aspect discussed in class has really given attention to my repressed feelings about them.

Peers

Now that I am in college, I noticed that I tend to spend more time with friends and I find myself trying to create a bigger network of friends; I have met my boyfriend through this as well. I believe that since I spend so much more time with my friends I tend to adapt their mannerisms and this becomes a part of my identity. This is when I am able to apply the crowds as caricature, channel, context. I am now able to identify with others crowds, and one of them would be the musicians. I am always around the AMP Bench with my orgmates, and I am more than happy to be called a musician like them. Although being around crowds also implies not only good influences, but bad ones as well. I turn to vices now at times because of their influence. My Twitter biography says conformity is losing but I guess I lost since I conformed to what was “cool”. 

Sex and Gender

I currently have a transgender (female-to-male) boyfriend, and my relationship with him has helped me understand more about the SOGIE community. Being his girlfriend, I would have to be the one to study about the community to understand him more and so I would know how to treat him with respect, so this topic was nothing new to me; even sparked up a debate with Sir Galvez about transgenders being straight or gay… I eventually understood his point though. I, myself, am a pansexual cisgendered woman, and my sexuality is often accused of regarding the transgenders as a third gender, thus the need to differentiate pansexuals from bisexuals. To rebut this misconception, we do consider transgenders as part of the binary; transmen are men and transwomen are women. The need to call ourselves pansexual as differentiated from bisexual is because we are also attracted to the genderfluid and nonbinary people, who do not consider themselves part of the binary: male or female.

It was fun to discuss this topic in class because I did not expect for Ateneo to be "woke" enough to consider actually including this in the lesson plans in a required course. This topic hits close to home and I felt as if I was in a safe space because I knew we wouldn't be oppressed in this type of environment. The discussion of this topic, if it hasn’t already, will eventually open up discussions between those who are LGBT and those who are not. 

MODULE 4

Habitus

Since habitus is inculcated, structured, durable, and generative and transposable, then my habitus must be something I acquired in childhood that reflects the society I acquired it from, and I must have accumulated a number of practices that have stayed with me until now. To name a few, my habitus would probably be how I pray before eating, how I turn on the aircon every night before I sleep, how I always have a water jug or bottle around me, etc. 

Discovering my habitus by way of identifying my capital and field, has enabled me to place my self in the structures of society as well. I know that how I turn on my aircon every night is something not everyone can do. This is because I have the capital of money that can buy me an aircon and afford to pay for it being turned on every night. This is done inside my house, the field wherein my father is at the top of the hierarchy as he is the one who provides the capital as well. This leads me to recognize my privilege, and connect this topic to the next one—inequality.

Inequality

In this world of injustice, the Five Tenets of Social Inequality is very much prevalent in our governments and work places. This makes the upper class so exclusive and so privileged and if these tenets exists, the richer will only get richer, and the poorer would be even poorer. The oppressed will only remain oppressed because these tenets promote these bad mentalities as something necessary and normal, when in fact humans are capable of understanding and humans can choose not to go down that path of inequality. To attain true social justice, we all must be equally participating as a citizen of society.

Intersectionality

Intersectionalities exist as a product of being a part of multiple social groups. I would be part of the Asian race who are women, both of which being a minority group. I am also a part of the middle working class which is at the border of the matrix of oppression. This helps me understand myself within the context of societal structures. Though these characteristics do not define me, I am still enlightened by knowing my place in society because the way others treat me may depend on this intersectionality that I have.

All in all I know that each and every topic has impacted my way of thinking, and I am now at a much better place in my journey to finding myself. I can now paint a bigger picture of my place in society and I can see how my place in society affects not only myself but others as well. The multiple influences that shape who I am today are easily pinpointed now, too. There are so many things to consider before I can actually identify myself, but I can tell that this course has helped me grow as an individual because of how the topics were actually applicable in everyday life. I am thankful to see how comfortable I am now knowing about myself. The journey is far from done, but I can confidently say that I have moved forward, and these topics, I know, I can and will use for further improvement of myself.

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binhi paper

As a student, the most active fields I am in now are in the Ateneo de Manila University as a whole, and a more specific extra-curricular field is the Ateneo Musicians Pool. I’d like to talk about my experiences in these communities as they hold most of my good memories as a college freshman. There is a reason why these are the fields I am active in. I will start by expressing my inhibitions before joining these communities. 

I believe to be able to be part of the Ateneo, you must either have the capital of money, and for scholars, a capital of knowledge. Ateneo also has this stereotype that it’s a home for the conyos—a term for the ones who speak in Taglish or combined Tagalog and English—and it is usually associated with the higher class. Locally, those who speak English are considered more sosyal or fancy, and those who can speak Tagalog are those who can get along with everyone else and be at their level. Since most Ateneans are conyo, this just means that the higher class usually go to college in the Ateneo de Manila University. This leads me to believe that the capital needed to rise above in the lifestyle of the Ateneans has to do with acquiring financial and social capital. Financial capital because the higher class who attend college in Ateneo are those who are essentially richer than the lower class, and social capital because those in the higher class are particular with their connections as well as the community may be very exclusive. 

As for the capital needed in Ateneo Musicians Pool, I believe talent, knowledge, and experience in music can bring you higher up the ranks since it is a musicians pool. These elements will give you an edge when applying to be part of the organization, or applying for a higher position. There really is a difference in skill for those who’ve had this before compared to those who are just starting out in college. 

I’m a freshman in the Ateneo campus whose family is not all that rich, which puts me in a low standpoint in this field. This is a fairly new environment to me because I’d be the last person you would see among these mostly rich students. I found myself having to act more prim and proper as opposed to my usual jologs self to fit in this field; I even went as far as changing the way I dress and the way I laugh when I got to this university. The habitus that I have brought to the school mostly is my work ethics. I study well and I know how to work in a group and a committee since in my high school, I ran for leadership positions and joined as many events whose production I can be part of. I got in this school with hard work from both myself and my parents since they’re also not rich enough to be completely comfortable paying the school’s tuition fees. I also was used to the drinking and going out culture and this proved to be useful when we go out as I knew how to take care of myself and others. 

I am also just a newbie in AMP, but I feel like I have more leverage or capital in this field. I have been exposing myself to music ever since I was little and I was able to apply this knowledge in this org. Though this is still an Atenean organization, and I find myself having to change myself quite a bit in the community, this organization still opens up the most passionate side of me. I feel like I’m at home when I’m in this org because it really does take me back considering I’ve been doing music since I was young and it’s what I am passionate about. I’d say though that even if I’m a newbie, I can contribute a lot here, which elevates me in the field’s social hierarchy.

The habitus that was prevalent in my Binhi area was the ability to recycle materials. As I watched them teach us how to possibly make use of the materials, I noticed that it seemed like second nature to them already. As was told to us, not much of them grew up in a rich family, so I suspect that like me, they learned to be capable if reusing things to lessen their consumption. They were also very skilled in handicrafts and cooking as that's what they used to do in their household. I personally was not able to contribute much knowledge since I was raised with a helper who cooks for us, but it was a very fun experience since I was very willing to learn everything they taught us. The habitus I was able to manifest was the way I spoke with and understood the lolas. Compared to my groupmates, I believe I was more able to speak with them since I spoke a lot of Tagalog. It is notable that our habitus is very different from each other. In the setting of Binhi, they were obviously the ones at and advantage. But come when they have to be in our community, it'll be the other way around.

I was pretty confused because the lolas were not really communicating with us much except during the paper mache and the kutsinta activity. Even so, I was able to immerse myself in what they do and it gave me an idea of what they go through everyday. As unemployed lolas, they go to that barangay office to find a sense of purpose for themselves and to be able to contribute to society. This made me realize that aging may come with challenges with the identity, searching for a purpose and whatnot. We were also told of the conditions of the SSS pension. Some of the lolas only get 500 pesos monthly, which is not enough most especially if they do not have their children to support them. I was able to empathize with them and their struggles through this activity and realize that they are also experiencing some kind of oppression in the sense that they are neglected.

Social structures is a sad reality that unfortunately exists in our societies. It classifies us and our social standing and this is what shows us that we are unequal. The Binhi experience made me recognize my privilege because I was born into a working class family and we are able to get by fine and my future is secure. But those lolas were not able to completely secure their future. I was also able to connect how habitus is relative to social standing. Since I was able to study in the Ateneo, I gain more connections that may be an avenue for me to find high-paying jobs, while some of the lolas told us they only got to study until high school and ended up as housewives. Because of my education, I am able to achieve accomplishments in the business community, while the lolas are not really predisposed for that and they are not able to start their negosyos because of their lack of knowledge. I was able to apply intersectionality in the sense that they are experiencing ageism and social class oppression at the same time as well. This made me want to reach out to them even more because there is much to learn from them with regards to how the government treats them. It made me want to fight for their rights. 

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entry 3

Freud

I found Freud really challenging to understand because I found some of it mema (may masabi lang) or ‘for the sake of having something to say’ in English. The Id, Ego, and Superego were interesting to learn about because it made me think about the usual scenario where your conscious has an angel on your right side and a devil on the left. Though I do get the gist of it, I wasn’t able to easily comprehend the entirety of Freud’s theory because I personally do not relate to most of the stages of psychosexual development. The anal stage was the stage I found the weirdest because I didn’t think pooping behavior could have a long term effect in development. The concept of oedipus complex also irked me because I, never in a million years, would think that that was applicable to me. Something I related to the most, though, was the defense mechanisms. I am most guilty of repression, fixation, and compensation.

Erikson

I found Erikson very much reasonable and relatable. All of it made so much sense to me. I was able to connect it to my development years and it helped me understand my upbringing and their outcomes.I don’t have much to say about it except that it really was able to make me realize the importance of each stage of development. In this theory, it shows that development occurs until death. A person’s past, present, and future will really affect his or her way of living.

[understandingpoli-blog]

An intimate relationship is not necessarily a physical relationship. Rather, it is a trusting, close friendship with another person in which one can be honest without fear of rejection.

Erik Erikson (via quotemadness)

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Andy Warhol, Sigmund Freud (from Ten Portraits of Jews of the Twentieth Century), 1980

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entry 2

Thinking Self

In the thinking self I learned about how my brain works, specifically the dynamics of system 1 and 2 and how one works faster than the other. I was also surprised about the accuracy of the cognitive biases because I am very guilty of it. I am a victim of the peak-end and I am biased to generalize people and anchor opinions based from a specific reference point, and natamaan talaga ako.

Feeling Self

For the feeling self, I already was familiar with behavioral responses because they’re what I see. It’s normal for someone who’s not feeling okay to act differently because something’s bothering them. What I didn’t know is that there are physiological responses happening in our body as well. It was interesting to know that emotions are also actually very scientific, with all the hormones that are active in us. 

The model of emotion regulation I could also use a lot in controlling my temper, and the modes of mind and S.N.A.C.K. are some things to take note of. This really could be useful in fixing my mood and changing my outlook on life.

P.S. Awkward input but I'd like to relate my learnings to a film I've watched very recently and is still showing in cinemas: Joker. This film tackles so much regarding the mental health issues and understanding the self and though the themes are really heavy, it left a huge impact on me. As I watched this film, I was able to relate and apply some of the learnings from Socsci 11. I was able to empathize with Arthur Fleck through this, and not just think he’s some sort of murdering psycho.

[understandingpoli-blog]

you’ll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile

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My mother always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. She told me a had a purpose. To bring laughter and joy to the world.

Joker (2019), dir. Todd Phillips

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2019년 9월 5일 — 1/100

Today is my first day of classes! I just got back from France yesterday and I’m ready to jump in to classes and work!

I’m also starting the 100 days of productivity challenge so hopefully I can remain active and motivated!

this picture isn’t from today but it was of me studying for my flight test, which I’m doing again also anyway.

[understandingpoli-blog]

entry 1

My first year in college was not easy. 

It really got me lutang extensively confused and drained. To name a few, there was the stress of adjusting to the new environment, the new systems, and meeting new friends. This really took a toll on me as I tried to figure out my place as a part of this context and how to work around it. I spent a lot of time thinking about this but eventually, I learned in my SocSci11 Class that this is normal and it’s okay to feel this way. The subject gave me a sense of navigating through my thoughts by understanding myself. It’s important to note that there are multiple factors that shape who we are and how we think now. 

The PPCT Model

First of all, I did not realize that there were so many technical aspects to take into consideration while trying to understand the self. It was interesting to have learned that there was a framework to aid the process of understanding yourself because I’ve always felt really lost trying to figure myself out. Urie Bronfenbrenner is the proponent of the framework mentioned called the PPCT Model or the Process-Person-Context-Time Model. One of the important points I’ve taken with me from this topic is understanding the person through demand, resource, and force. This falls under the Person aspect. These were presented as things we can observe from people, but that also means we can be observed in that way as well. This got me to reevaluate myself using these three points and it actually worked really well in helping understand myself. 

Developing in the Globalizing World

There are multiple influences we receive from our own culture and from other cultures. In trying to figure out my Hybrid Identity through the activity assigned to us, I realized that I really am influenced by a lot of other things I find on the internet and even through practices at home and in school which are not purely Filipino. I, for sure, am not constricted to Filipino traits but as discussed, Hybridity actually has the potential to be innovative. By using these cultures and putting them together, it is highly likely to create something new out of the knowledge gained from multiple cultures. I was happy to realize that my mixed personality can actually become something good lol.

[understandingpoli-blog]

I want, by understanding myself, to understand others.

Katherine Mansfield

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FRIES! new ep, 6 fast food funky jams 🍟🎵

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forever friends