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courtship guide

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Personally I prefer to headcanon that demon culture isn't actually more violent when you account for their biology

Demons are naturally strong and tough and so "beatings" and "fighting" are acceptable forms of affection because you're not actually going to hurt the other person. Like it literally doesn't hurt and is just fun for them. In fact it's not violence at all really.

It's like a tickle fight or play wrestling or hair ruffling for humans or when you playfully slap at a person's arm with no real power behind it. So it's less slap and more a caress

No one is getting hurt and it's just flirtatious playing! It's sweet!

Like you can practically bounce demon toddlers down the street like a basketball and they'll just be having fun. But you wouldn't want to actually cause them damage

Causing people damage who aren't your enemies and you don't have a reason to is just uncalled for and mean

And the problem with Moshang is Mobei actually thought he was getting the right strength for a human

Like he's like "ok. Humans are squisher so I have to be gentle but like, Qinghua is a cultivator and they're stronger usually. I mean I've seen him carry a wagon one handed. So if I hit him just this hard then he'll get this is flirting."

Only even pulled Qinghua is much squisher and he doesn't understand a punch to the ribs that bruises but doesn't break a rib is meant to be a playful "oh stop! *giggle*" type slap (because a demon wouldn't even bruise with that. It would be like a light tap)

I want Mobei to be fucking mortified by finding out how badly he got it

They spend half a day after Shang Qinghua's leg heals where they experiment with Mobei hitting something more and more gently until they find one that's safe for Qinghua

The servants and othere at the palace that Qinghua thought hated him then also get a lesson in how gently to hit a human and they are equally mortified because they thought their attempts to welcome Shang Qinghua were being rebuffed but no he's just so squishy.

They are so horrified and concerned that he's treated as if he's made of glass because

1. He makes Mobei happy

2. He has secured all the trade routes and controls the finances

3. People genuinely like him

Everyone is constantly concerned about his comfort in the Northern Palace and he has a lot of guards at all times

If he so much as trips the palace staff go into a panic

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I know this is just a headcanon but I love the idea of Luo Binghe eventually becoming friends with Shang Qinghua in a weird way

But meanwhile Mobei is forever kept in a situation where he actively convinced Shen Qingqiu is out to steal Shang Qinghua from him. But he can't growl or posture or threaten him because Luo Binghe would kill him

So he is probably extremely icily polite and doesn't ever want to leave Shen Qingqiu alone with Shang Qinghua but he can't say that without Binghe getting upsett

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Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu, Shang Qinghua, Mobei Jun are all experiencing different genres

Luo Binghe is in an angst-ridden serious drama with horror elements

Shen Qingqiu is in a romantic comedy (with horror elements)

Mobei Jun is in a slow-burn pure romance novel about a princess (Mobei) falling for their servant

Shang Qinghua is in a long running fanfic about a guy having kinky sex with their toxic boss. Or that was the intention but the creator spent a little too long with the set up and it ended up taking over 100 chapters of world building and backstory before the characters even admitted liking each other. Smut is coming though! They promise!

(Yue Qingyuan is in a tragedy btw)

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I think that Luo Binghe would be disturbed and put off by finding out about Shen Yuan

Right up until he learns how deeply obsessed with him Shen Yuan was and is and then he'd transcend to a new layer of horny

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OP: Immortals flying in chinese xianxia dramas be like

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OP made a mooncake sofa for the Mid-Autumn Festival (cr 闲人祝幸福)

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Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

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In the modern idiom:

“So Bob said […]” indicates that I am directly quoting Bob.

“Then Bob was like […]” indicates that I am paraphrasing Bob.

“And Bob was all […]” indicates that I am paraphrasing Bob, and additionally I am being a dick about it.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s fantastic that we have a specific grammatical convention for that.

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truly wild how driving really does become like piloting a mech after a while. like it sounds so car-bro-y but the car genuinely does become like an extension of your body. your muscles are simply making the correct micro-movements to perfectly manouvre a giant piece of machinery through a constantly moving maze while your brain is busy singing karaoke. you can physically feel when a gap is too small for your car-sona to fit through, like a cat putting its whiskers into a crevice. your brain is suddenly able to do on-the-fly s=d/t calculations in a milisecond and tell you exactly how quickly you need to move to avoid an oncoming vehicle while turning across the road. why does driving unlock the unused 89% of my brain

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smek. smak

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crazy how much your life can improve if you just Move Somewhere Else

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this scene manifested itself to me in my head during a late night stroll and there’s no way you can convince me it didn’t happen

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Sokka said “woah that’s awesome” one time to a story Zuko told and he’s so emotionally repressed that he actually fell in love with him

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katara is a supportive little sister and sokka tries to paint the people he loves so that he never forgets what they look like again

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Would be funny to make the most diy battle jacket of all diy jackets, with handmade band patches and pins you painted yourself, but all the bands in the patches are ones you made up. Like you specifically googled beforehand to make sure there is NO band or musician of that name, for every single one.

And any time someone asks you about them, you can start gushing like "oh my god you're the first person I've talked to who's even heard about them, are you a fan too? I fucked the drummer's dad once."

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Duuude don't question my version of events I'm such a reliable narrator. I'm literally the protagonist and the main character. You can literally read some of my internal thoughts, that clearly means you have complete access to an objective view of my thoughts and feelings and a correct impression of my characterization and the events unfolding around me. I'm not omitting any information from the audience. Nevermind that timeskip just now