unfortunatelymaggie

[unfortunatelymaggie]

[unfortunatelymaggie]

 I got a couple of movies from Netflix and they had these cool Halloween-themed mailers. Maybe I’m easily amused, but they’re kind of nifty!

[unfortunatelymaggie]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[unfortunatelymaggie]

one time in college when i was like 19 this guy in one of my classes asked me out and he was SO nice so i cannot stress enough i did Not want to hurt his feelings. i turned him down very gently and told him i just wasn't interested, which was the truth.

anyway a week later one of those evil christian demonstrators was on campus shouting at people and generally we ignored them because what they want is an audience and an argument. but on this day i was walking by on my way to ballet so i was in leggings and a sweater over my leotard and he yelled "nice cameltoe, dyke!" and i honestly was less angry at him than i was at my university for allowing him to be there. they said it was public property so he had the right to "assemble" but i didn't understand why sexually harassing students and calling them slurs was included in that "right."

anyway i was 19 and so mad and i spun on him idk probably i was going to hit him and people saw that because they got between us and gave me the classic "he's not worth it" speech and i was like okay you're right.

so he shouted something about me liking pussy and i laughed and said "actually, i do! you got one thing right!" and then i turned to walk away

and one of the guys who intervened (thankfully so i didn't get expelled for beating someone up on campus) was the guy who'd asked me out and after i calmed down and he was sure i was okay he was joking around to lighten the mood and he said "'pussy' huh? now i know why you weren't interested in me hahaha."

and my autistic ass said, without thinking, simply trying to clarify my identity at the time and that genitals aren't gendered etc. "no i am bisexual, that wasn't it."

[unfortunatelymaggie]

oh also? An absolutely freaky thing I'm seeing yt leftists do?

STOP TRYING TO TRACK DOWN PROTESTORS THAT DO 'BADASS STUFF'. STOP POSTING ABOUT IT ONLINE.

PEOPLE FUCKING DIE.

AND IT'S USUALLY SOMEONE MELANATED.

THE GOVERNMENT IS WATCHING YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

y'all are so stuck on egoistic heroism that every time someone does something 'sick' at a protest you wanna turn them in to the next celebrity to have a parasocial relationship with and then they go missing.

Tf is wrong w y'all.

[unfortunatelymaggie]

[unfortunatelymaggie]

PSA gays: if you're wearing a mesh/lace shirt to a pride fest, sunscreen your whole chest/back before putting it on. I can't live to see another diva fall prey to sunburns with bizarrely specific patterns.

[unfortunatelymaggie]

so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

[unfortunatelymaggie]

[unfortunatelymaggie]

Things just transpired in my house hold that are equal parts offensive and hilarious… Here goes.

So my roommate, Dale, has a gf who does not live with us, but she’s here all the time. So Sunday when my gf was her we were on the couch and we kissed (scandalous, I know) and she saw it, and I’m pretty sure that’s the first time she’s seen us be affectionate, that’s neither here nor there.

So today she tells Dale she’s “uncomfortable” here and wants him to move out because she thinks me and my lady are going to hit on her or something, she doesn’t like living with lesbians, cause it’s not “normal”, so now I’m pissed. Then, Dale goes, “well you don’t live here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, just stop coming over”…things escalated and Dale is trying to break up with her, but she won’t leave our house….she locked herself in Dales room.

So, Dale barges in my room wearing a bathrobe and goes, “call every lesbian you know, we’re smoking this bitch out!” Then turns around and whips his robe like a cape…

And that’s the story of how there are 8 lesbians climbing through the window of Dales room…

[unfortunatelymaggie]

i downloaded this god damn episode just so everyone could watch this fukkin clip

[unfortunatelymaggie]

[unfortunatelymaggie]

[unfortunatelymaggie]

I continue to run into people that are confused as to why Americans have screens on our windows and it’s really quite simple.

Bugs

Diseases carried by bugs

Other assorted wildlife such as dogs and teenagers

[unfortunatelymaggie]

You see, Perry the Platypus, when Vanessa was a little girl, she wanted to take estrogen. Of course, I said yes. And since then she’s always been my little girl. Well recently, Vanessa’s school deadnamed her on her reports! Can you believe that!? I mean we live in a fairly progressive area and—hey, isn’t that not allowed in public schools??

Anyway, that’s when I got the idea for THIS! The deadname-eraser-inator! That way, not only will Vanessa no longer be deadnamed, but EVERY OTHER TRANS PERSON IN THE TRI! STATE! AREA!

[unfortunatelymaggie]

kink at pride is all well and good but what about kink at the light entertainment show taskmaster