unicornsapplesandstuff

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

interlocking fingers during the pin. holding hands during the pin. is driving me insane

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

Ozzy Osbourne’s death is like the death of a crusty white 3 legged no toothed dog in it’s mid 20s. It’s shocking and heartbreaking, but the shock mostly comes from the fact that it lived so long and through so much bodily strain that you kind of subconsciously assumed it was immortal.

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

put those racist swords to good use

(parts 1 and 2)

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i wish i could text my cat to check on him when I'm out but his whole illiterate thing really gets in the way

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Maybe this therapy shit is working

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Yeah. That’s totally gonna work. Yeah. 100% - KPop Demon Hunters - Directors: Maggie Kang, Chris Appelhans - June 20, 2025

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

there truly is no show like mash. the main character lineup in season 1 is a groucho marx fanboy who reads nudist magazines and can't stop making puns, his roommate the cheating husband but it's okay because he's blond, their other roommate who probably has the constitution and the army rules and regulations memorised and doesn't understand a word of them, the woman he's cheating on his wife with who he's convinced himself doesn't count somehow because she's married to the army, their commanding officer who keeps fishing lures on his hat and hooks his finger every time he salutes, the possibly psychic teenager who listens in on the co's calls when he's not busy racing bugs, a guy trying so hard to get out of the army on grounds of mental instability he's eating a jeep and cross dressing, and the boxer army chaplain who somehow gets along better with the first guy than anyone else here because at least he can appreciate a joke.

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

I made a mistake on Bluesky and now my notifications won’t stop but hey i’ll post it here too!

Anti-Prime sale on bookshop.org until the 11th

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

saw an absolutely hilarious animal crossing theory that i now 100% accept and it’s that in the animal crossing world, humans are going extinct, and so all the animals have locked you in an elaborate zoo enclosure and are trying to give you enrichment. and that’s why they give you infinite pointless tasks, hide money in trees and rocks, invented debt that doesnt matter etc. it’s why they always act so happy to see you even after you raze the entire island, relocate their houses twice, and always act so pleased about your choices no matter what. it’s all to keep their little endangered human healthy and enriched. and thinking of it this way has genuinely improved my experience of the game

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

Congratulations to all AO3 users! Important Milestone reached!

Bookmark database overran!

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

Sort of obsessed with the statue imagery within the Wax and Wayne series with how either Kelsier's or Sazed's following view them in different imagery.

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

Wax is tweeting about Steris it seems.

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

im like if my mom & dad Unfortunately had a baby

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learning how to drive in america is like a fucking saw trap.

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

so much of life is needing to pee. enough already

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

margaret using hawkeye’s arm as an elbow rest is such a move