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🦀

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( WHAT. )

( ARE THESE. )

Someone forgot about/discovered windmills.

And is now a still-gooey puff of hate and congealed blood, focused intently upon this dragon that dared to be taller than it.

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( DEVOURING WILL STOP BEING A CURE ALL WHEN IT STOPS WORKING )

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( UNICRON LACKS CONTEXT BUT ASSURES THAT EATING THE PROBLEM USUALLY FIXES THINGS )

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( USUALLY )

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@ask-smokescreen replied...

I wish to take your beard again!

( UNICRON IS NOT INDEBTED TO WISHES MADE WITHOUT A DEAL )

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my phone survived being dropped, getting wet, getting sat on, getting god knows what fibers in it, etc etc

but a cat claw is what killed it.

fucccckk.

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for the low, low price of [one large wish], you too can [have a melted jolly rancher with half a personality crawl into your body and meat puppet you until you finally get so high you die]

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( UNICRON REQUIRES FLESH. )

( IT TERRAFORMS AND CONSUMES ALL IT OCCUPIES. MAKING THEM SUITING, MAKING THEM SOME DEGREE OF COMFORTABLE. )

Tap, tap. Drip, drip. Violet shining, violet soaking, violet straining as if to latch.

( YOUR KING MAY SUIT ENOUGH TO SKIP A STEP OR TWO. AT LEAST FOR A TIME. )

@stellarcuriosity replied...

"Predaking is the biggest thing I know. Biiig scary large beast bot!!"

A pause.

( THE... DRAGON KING. YOU SPEAK OF THE DRAGON KING. THE FUSSY ONE THAT IS POSSESSIVE OF CORPSES. )

Another pause, slightly more... gooey. Bone and violet-gunk hands twitching, armor still stripped from them.

( HM. PERHAPS. LARGE MOUTH ON THAT ONE. )

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( UNICRON IS BOUND BY ITS NAME. )

( NO FURTHER MODIFICATION NEEDED. )

( IT HAS PSUEDONAMES, YES, BUT THEY ARE RARELY SO... MORTALLY EGO BASED. )

( CHAOS BRINGER, WORLD DEVOURER, UNIVERSE CLEANER, END OF ALL... VERY GROUNDED AND FACTUAL. )

( BESIDES. UNICRON IS A PANTHEON QUEEN. KINGS DO NOTHING BUT SIT IN PLACE. UNICRON MOVES TO FULFILL ITS FUNCTION. )

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@indomitablespirits replied...

Large of spark, oooorrrrr...?

( UNICRON CANNOT FIT IN YOU. )

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@stellarcuriosity replied...

"Predaking is the biggest thing I know. Biiig scary large beast bot!!"

A pause.

( THE... DRAGON KING. YOU SPEAK OF THE DRAGON KING. THE FUSSY ONE THAT IS POSSESSIVE OF CORPSES. )

Another pause, slightly more... gooey. Bone and violet-gunk hands twitching, armor still stripped from them.

( HM. PERHAPS. LARGE MOUTH ON THAT ONE. )

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@sparkmender replied...

“Metroplex, technically, or maybe Carcer?”

( DOES THIS MATROPAX HAVE ANY MANNER OF MASS DISPLACEMENT. ALSO HOW LARGE IS THEIR MOUTH )

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”I’m listening to the offer Lord Unicron!”

^_^

( IF UNICRON WERE CAPABLE OF GAUGING HOW TALL YOU ARE, IT STILL DOUBTS YOU WOULD SUIT. )

( ALSO NO ONE LIKES A SUCK UP. DEITIES DO NOT NEED EGO TRIPS. )

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( WHO IS THE LARGEST ONE ACTIVE IN THIS MULTISPACE AT THE MOMENT. )

( UNICRON HAS AN OFFER FOR YOU. )

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Daddy, why don't you want me?

( YOU WERE MADE BY ORDER AND YOU BELONG TO HIM )

( UNICRON WILL FETCH YOU IN THE END-TIMES. WHEN YOU CAN BE SWALLOWED AND DIGESTED QUICKLY. )

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( THEN WHY DO YOU CALL IT UNICRON'S ARMOR )

( RENAME THE DAMN THING SO UNICRON CAN STOP BEING ATTACHED TO IT )

( HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT AN ARMOR HAVING A NAME MIGHT BE INDICATIVE OF IT BELONGING TO SOMEONE )