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horse md. insert horse slur here

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sickens me to my stomach. how dare this guy get to live my dream.

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i love you. im pregnant and its toys

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🇨🇳

x

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I can fix me

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donating my heavily annotated copy of house of leaves to the local library so that the person reading it gets a 5th layer of narrative to be confused by

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in library. talkin about thanksgiving. librarian is asking the kids what they eat, trying to lead them towards thanksgiving food & its like pulling teeth. asking what they pour on mashed potatoes. one kid says Rocks. librarian is like “im thinking of something that starts with GR and its brown” and another kid raises her hand & im like ok this girls on top of everything shes got this. & she goes “gorilla sauce”

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thank you so much for answering my ask so thoroughly, and I'm really sorry for recommending that anime. I had read some reviews focusing on the depiction of a disabled character that were positive, but looking back now it is very possible that those reviews were written by abled people and didn't actually have the perspective that i should have considered. Again, I'm really sorry!

Secondly, you're right about doctors. I've seen it myself, and while there wasn't anything as extreme as your case, I've definitely seen doctors decide they're "smarter" or know more than someone else insist their "treatment" is the only way forwards.

I'm sad and angry that you and others had to go through such horrible things at the hands of doctors. I'm sure you already know that there's no excuse and that things need to change systemically and I want to try to make things better where I can.

It's not fair of me to just talk about how I want things to change when it's a whole systemic problem, but I have to try, and I can be better myself, so thank you for bruising my ego, I'm sure it needed it, and I'm sure a lot of doctors/students need it too. I am sorry for putting you on the spot like that, but I'm really thankful that you answered me so completely! Thank you!

Hi! I hope you're doing well :) please don't stop talking about how prosthesis limbs suck and your experience with them! I'm in medical school right now, and I thought it was amazing to read because it highlights 1. how doctors need to listen to their patients 2. Wow doctors kind of suck and patients should be able to advocate for themselves, and if they can't do that, someone should! And 3. Patients shouldn't be pressured into doing things they don't want to do. For me personally, I kind of already had those ideas, but your posts really put it into perspective and just emphasized them and I'm really appreciative of that :) last thing (promise) I was wondering if you've seen/read Dororo! One of the main characters (Hyakkimaru) spends the majority (like 90%) without arms, instead having sword attachments that are covered with fake arms. I was wondering if you had seen it/him and had any thoughts. If not, it might be something to check out! Thank you again :D

so i showed this ask to my girlfriend, who knows me (and my trauma) very well, and she said: "I would recommend NOT googling that character, that's for sure. this is almost the exact worst kind of thing someone could mention you check out! I wont go into detail but it's also the exact example of taking a disabled person and "fixing" them back to normal that you were talking about."

so, you're already off to a bad start i'm afraid.

listen. if you have any scraps of empathy and compassion and belief in patients' autonomy left, hold onto them, guard them, and fortify them against the education you're going through. med school will try to crush any compassion and empathy you had out of you. residency will grind your humanity for your patients down to nothing, you will be encouraged to stop seeing them as people, and your colleagues will train you to believe that you are right and know what's best, and patients are wrong and lie and are a danger to themselves. you will be taught that patients advocating for themselves rather than blindly listening is an annoying interruption to you trying to save them, or maybe even proof that they are a risk to themselves and cannot be trusted. you will be exhausted and frustrated and angry, and you will be faced with a patient who rightly believes what's best for themselves is something you believe is harmful to them. will you have enough compassion, empathy, and belief in patients' autonomy left to respect them as a human being, as a person?

you have to understand where i am coming from. i have a serious condition that's been misdiagnosed twice, forced onto treatments i didn't want, and denied treatment that would help me because of my "attitude", and once a diagnosis is on the records no doctor will consider any other possibility, so i have suffered without care for years on end. i have been sexually assaulted by doctors in their treatment rooms, and then told that's impossible BECAUSE they are a doctor, and doctors are good.

i have had surgery performed on me against my consent. this is not uncommon for disabled people. it was not necessary to save my life. i advocated, i begged, and i was denied the right to consent. it was an unneeded major surgery that harmed me, physically and psychologically, that i will never recover from.

but why would they do this, you must be asking? i must be omitting detail that makes it make sense, you are probably thinking. already thinking like a doctor, shaped by those beliefs. they MUST have been trying to help me in some way with that surgery, right? i must be lying about it, right?

my great crime there is that i was comfortable being disabled. i was at peace with loss of limb, a limb that was already failing me, already useless. i was prepared to be physically, seriously disabled, and they could not comprehend that, could not accept that. in the eyes of a doctor, losing a limb makes someone broken; disability is the enemy, and it must be fought at all cost, the patient must be FIXED at all costs, even if they don't want it. and doctors will go to extreme lengths to make that happen, patient be damned. that's a doctor's idea of compassion: patients must be fixed, even if it harms them.

to me, and most disabled folks i've ever spoken to, doctors are basically like cops; a dangerous threatening force of harm, but that you have to perform correct behavior and respect around in order to stay safe. but where cops are legally blessed to kidnap and murder you, doctors are legally blessed to kidnap and torture you, to invade and change your body in the most intimate ways, and they will tell you, themselves, and each other that they do it for your own good.

so, have i bruised your ego? are you feeling attacked, defensive, accused of being in a cohort of monsters, certain that you could never be like that, that you're one of the good ones? you're already in med school, you're already someone with the qualities to self select for it and the privilege and abledness to make it in, you already have that baggage to try and counter if you want to empathise with your patients. how much pressure has there been from your family and peers to do it, how much praise have you gotten, how much has that fed your ego, your sense of being better than others? better able to help others? better qualified to know what's best for others? i hope that you do genuinely have compassion, and empathy, and belief in patients' autonomy in you, and it's not just hollow words you tell yourself are values.

i hope you have that compassion, and can act on that belief in autonomy. because it's not just about a prostheses one can take off and throw away. if you make it through the grinder and become a doctor, one day you will be faced with a patient that says "i would rather be permanently broken in a way that you find unacceptable, than put up with the treatment you want me to have", and you will believe, with your full heart and mind and vast knowledge of medicine, you will KNOW in yourself that they are wrong.

are you willing to accept that YOU are wrong, and they are actually right? are you willing to deem them worthy of autonomy? or will you prep them for surgery to fix them, as they are begging you not to?

[unnamedartists]

Prince Zuko, who has been chasing a legend for 3 long years whilst honing his skills, finally finds him. In finding the Avatar, Zuko will learn more about himself and the lost art of Firebending he had discovered in his attempt to obtain an advantage over his foes both among Fire Nation enemies and allies.

I usually am the more visual type of artist, but I wanted to try my hand at writing after like 5-6 years of not writing a single thing. More or less I’ve always been very interested in fics where Zuko is able to sense/see a person’s inner flame or been able to heal using chi like waterbenders, and since I am a little pedantic, I wanted to explore Zuko learning and growing with that ability in a lot more detail!

Like I said in the notes of the fic itself, updates will probably be a little sporadic, since I’m writing when I’m able, but I do have a bit written already, so hopefully it won’t be a glacial pace for updates. I’ll do my best at the very least. I hope you all enjoy reading it as I did thinking and writing about it!

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rly love those close intimate conversations that happen between friends in a discord chat because, like, it shows “hey, i wanna talk to you about this thing and also i trust our other friends in this chat to understand and support this conversation too”

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the point of art is not to be great but to make it transparently obvious that there is something wrong with you

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HYPE WORKOUT MIX 🔥 💯 💪

Gregorian Chants at 432Hz

Franz Kafka Metamorphosis audiobook

BBC Radio 4 Shipping Forecast

Organ Works of Johann Sebastian Bach