unofficialoracle

[unofficialoracle]

I wish it was this easy to get a job

I am always thinking about every line of dialogue in the first 50 seconds of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.

[unofficialoracle]

km. doing great

[unofficialoracle]

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[unofficialoracle]

statements like "It's wrong to masturbate about a person without their consent" and "It's wrong to do something that quietly arouses you while you are in public even if no one can see it" show that a person's understanding of morality basically involves magical thinking. like I wrote this post on the toilet. That's not the same thing as me literally shitting on you

[unofficialoracle]

women fuck the fish. i am uninvolved

[unofficialoracle]

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

[unofficialoracle]

Pipe sprung a leak in the bathroom the other day and the cat came and bothered me about it and I can't stop thinking about it. She doesn't know what a towel or a mop is but she knew there was an unauthorised fucking Wet and she trusted my ability to rectify the situation

[unofficialoracle]

not even kidding be SO earnest. Be so honest and forthcoming about your life, your feelings in the pursuit of connection with others, and know being as earnest as possible in your experience is what quells loneliness in those who feel the same way as you do. Is what helps us feel seen. And builds community and resolve within the fact it doesn't have to feel so lonely and insurmountable. we need community and connection. You really are not as alone as you think, we're all scared. we need to hold each others hands

[unofficialoracle]

thinking abt how fucked up steam engine boiler explosions can look. theyre just pipes under there

gives me the idea of a ghost/monster engine that looks normal, albeit a bit battered, only to swing their smokebox door open and a myriad of pipes come bursting out like fucked up tentacles

[unofficialoracle]

tiktok teen lgbts would not survive in the 80s and 90s when lesbians called gay guys fags lovingly and gay guys would call us dykes lovingly

[unofficialoracle]

more pyaari everyone say hi to pyaari

[unofficialoracle]

[unofficialoracle]

the line between not going out as an act of self-care and not going out as a symptom of depression is but a gossamer thread

[unofficialoracle]

THEY TOOK THEIR CATS WITH THEM TO CYPRUS

[unofficialoracle]

you’re 23 and you learn rosemary kennedy was lobotomized at 23 and you’re like my god she was barely an adult. then you’re 27 and you’re like holy hell amy winehouse was just starting her life. and then, presumably, you reach 36 and you’re like christ alive marilyn monroe was only 36. and so on and so forth

[unofficialoracle]

YOU CAN BE A GUY EVEN IF NO ONE SEES YOU AS ONE

[unofficialoracle]

I'm knitting in the corner at a party

and guys my age stop by to tell me I remind them of their aunt, of their grandmother. This is a compliment and I take it as such. They confess to having tried crochet once, and I smile. They get back in line for the bathroom.

I'm knitting in the corner at a party and a queer woman sits on the floor next to me, arranges her skirt, and smiles up at me. (I try not to blush.) She asks me all the questions on her mind about my craft and I answer them, hands still moving. We swap yarn sources. She doesn't stay, but she knows where to find me.

I'm knitting in the corner at a party and everyone knows where to find me when they need a minute, when socializing is too much and the music is too loud and they need to catch their breath. They pretend to be checking in on me, which is sweet, but I can see the relief in their eyes the moment they stop performing for a house full of people. They sit down and tell me things and all the while they never take their eyes off my hands.

The party has wound down and I'm still knitting and the hosts, two guys in their twenties, thank me for "helping to curate the vibe." I had no idea that's what I was doing. I leave the party having forgotten to drink anything and without that woman's number but with many rows added to my top-down raglan sweater. I call it a night, and a good one.