unrestraind

[unrestraind]

yuri's heart still thrums heavily in her chest at the proximity, at the sheer intimacy of monika holding her like this. in an ordinary circumstance, she might have a line about asking first before touching her, but this situation is far beyond ordinary. having the very world she lives in challenged certainly is out of the ordinary.

she always had a longing for affection without gender taking much account into it. that's readily apparent to her now. when monika asks, her tone a bit more subdued than usual, how yuri feels about her, yuri's breath hitches for a moment.

❛ i- i think you've got a talent for, um, bringing people together... ❜ like the two of them, case in point. yuri inhales sharply, continuing in a soft and wavering voice, ❛ and you've always been really sweet and patient with me in particular... more than what most people would be. ❜

her breathing pattern is a bit uneven, edging on shaking. ❛ i appreciate you a lot. i won't lie, learning so much about you today has made me... insatiably curious. ❜

She's pleased as punch to be in such close proximity too, honestly. It's not something she gets the chance to indulge in pretty much ever, so it fulfills a need she's been feeling for a while. Maybe that would be enough to fill up the nagging hole in her heart? Even just a little bit.

Monika lounges against Yuri a bit more, getting comfortable enough to feel like she doesn't even want to leave this spot. Eyes flicker up toward the girl's own, a heat gracing her cheeks. Again, no other shoe drops...nothing has changed from a moment ago, she's still here. And at this rate? It's really beginning to feel like she won't go anywhere.

This isn't how she'd anticipated her day panning out at all, but...she's not complaining. She might be discovering some things about herself, though. She swallows, a hand slowly raising to brush back a strand of Yuri's hair.

"It does." She nods, voice slightly more meek than usual, which is immediately noticeable for someone as usually headstrong as Monika tends to be. "Hey...forgive me if this is a weird question, but...how do you feel about me?"

[unrestraind]

turning the knife inside yourself tonight queen?

[unrestraind]

yuri's eyes widen and she listens intently to every word that monika says; there's something charming about the air of awkwardness that the other girl carries, like she's just as nervous as yuri is about the circumstances of their situation. ironically, it puts yuri a bit more at ease, as if reassuring yuri that her reactions to this situation are, in fact, realistic.

& then monika hugs her. yuri gasps softly, her body stiffened at first, but then she leans into the touch as if she's never been touched before, as if it's been a lifetime since she's been touched this much. monika is soft, warm — and so very welcome.

❛ i'd really like that, actually... ❜ she smiles a little, allowing her eyelids to flutter shut for a few passing moments as she regains a more regular breathing pace. ❛ i don't think you have too much to worry about, as far as i'm concerned. n- not right now, at least. it's just nice to be somewhere less public, and... enjoy your company. ❜

a sigh follows as she leans further into the precious contact. ❛ this feels really nice... ❜

She's not sure from which angle she's meant to take that question, actually. Is she afraid of Yuri? No, not at all. Is she afraid for Yuri? Well, that's a slightly more legitimate concern, but in any case...she's here, so why would she let something bad happen to her friend? (Her friend, yeah.)

She can almost feel the heat rising simply from being in the girl's proximity, more than a little familiar with her tendencies. Truth be told, she had figured this was a simply more private setting, so maybe she should have been a little bit more considerate. She feels a touch embarrassed, when she actually thinks about it.

"Oh-- Sorry, sorry." She giggles awkwardly, "I just figured, it's much less public and all..." She swallows softly, her body language a bit tentative...indecisive. She doesn't know if she should be so bold like this, and in fact she's never really humored the thought that she'd be permitted to. Again, the thought that this could all snap back to 'normal' before her eyes plagues her every decision.

So before she can think too deeply about it, she wraps her arms around the other's waist.

"Should I be worried?" She murmurs smoothly, like she hasn't a care in the world. "I feel safer like this than I ever have. And I promise I'll keep you the same way."

[unrestraind]

yuri startles abruptly, a squeak escaping her when her scenery suddenly changes. it's still jarring to go from one place to another with the mere snap of monika's fingers. it takes yuri a moment to gather her bearings amidst the heavy thrumming of her heart, but when she realizes where she is, a different kind of surprise sets in.

❛ oh…! ❜ her voice is soft. this is her room; it's her room because she intrinsically knows that it is, like there's some part of her mind telling her it's an immutable fact. it's her room, so her knife collection must be nearby, & so the itch intensifies with her raising heart rate —

… but monika is here, and yuri shouldn't be rude to her friend ('friend'? really?) who's showing her the intimate secrets of the very world they're living in. still, monika may easily pick up on yuri's rapid breathing when the taller young woman speaks, her words stammered. ❛ wh– what an interesting ch– choice, monika! ❜

a nervous chuckle escapes her, gaze averted as yuri battles between her shyness and something far more intense to entirely hide. she dares herself to look back into monika's eyes. ❛ you… you really want to be here? alone? with just me? ❜

as if yuri is the only other girl in the world … what a way to make her feel special.

Oh? Oh. This...this is somewhat recognizable, yes. She should have realized that this might be a turn things would take, upon second thought. Yuri's obsessive behavior is not anything new to her, necessarily...she just hadn't ever considered the idea that it could be turned on her.

And she knows it's not exactly the healthiest response, either. A good friend might even find it prudent to nip this in the bud and let her down easy, before she gets too far. Monika, however, has never felt like a particularly good friend...And furthermore? Yuri has already made two fatal mistakes of her own. Telling Monika that she will stay, and demanding she be selfish. It's the only real permission she needs.

"I-- That's...a fair point..." She nods. Before now, she hadn't really lived for anything in particular. She hadn't asked to be made, and felt the only way to gain her freedom was to escape this place. Now she's beginning to think that even if she doesn't? There's plenty resistance in wrenching this space away from those who did make it.

She tilts her head slightly in consideration, her prior smile turning a bit sly.

"Well, I'm still sort of new to testing my limits, but...I'm sure I could at least get us away from all those distractions for a little while." A snap of her fingers, and they're in Yuri's room. Or at least, it looks that way...though there's something odd about it. It's hard to describe but it's... ...as if nothing matters outside of this little space. Like nothing will intrude unless either of them wishes for it.

[unrestraind]

❛ i will. i'll stay. ❜ there's little to no hesitation on yuri's words; god knows she has the tendency to be a bit on the obsessive side, and the combination of both monika's revelation and the proximity is only fuel to the flame of yuri's tendencies. she always has been a particular fan of the concept of dedicating herself to another...

she returns monika's gaze as her own heart thumps heavily in her chest. if all of this is a simulation, then why does it feel so vivid, so real? nothing about yuri's feelings — her fear, her devotion, her anticipation for the future — nothing about it all feels fake to her.

finally, a hint of a smile shows on yuri's face. ❛ does it really matter if any of this isn't technically real? ❜ she asks, her voice soft but not without a hint of something extra — something passionate. ❛ i don't feel fake. you don't feel fake. maybe we can find ways to make this all feel real enough. ❜

there's a strange dissonance — a gap in memories, a feeling as if something in yuri's life hadn't been fully completed. yet, she feels more alive than ever. ❛ i- i mean, if you can change the world outside the window, what else do you think you can change around us? ❜

It certainly is a bit of a shock to the system, if nothing else. Yuri was always so meek, never imposing, and loud was not a word Monika would have ever used to describe her. When her voice raises enough to even echo off a single wall, it's an event so unprecedented that she knows she has to be treading in unfamiliar waters now. She instinctively winces for a moment, but when the girl retreats, she softens.

She grasps those hands back even tighter, as if to assure her that if nothing else Monika would not disappear out from under her.

"N-No, no! Forgive me, I...should have been a bit more sensitive." Her voice trails downward. That's an interesting word to choose, though...'profound'. It is true that aside from her, Yuri is now basically the only person who knows about the nature of this world. Perhaps there was something a little special about sharing that secret.

Her face does eventually lift from the other's shoulder, though only so she can look more directly into her eyes. She knows it's not right, to look with hope toward a girl who couldn't possibly do anything more to solve this situation than she could...but people look to stars for guidance all the time, right?

"I...I don't want to be alone, either." She's agonized over it for so long. Cynical as she may have become before, there was no part of her that delighted in the thought of leaving her friends behind. Knowing things they didn't was such an isolating experience, and now she feels a bit of that weight lifting from her shoulders.

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to, so...this is a request, okay? You can respond however you want." She takes in a shaky breath, then releases it, finally making eye contact.

"Stay with me."

[unrestraind]

❛ NO! you can't! ❜ yuri replies a little too soon, a little too loud, her voice echoing in the otherwise empty classroom — loud enough to leave her mortified and startled by the intensity and volume of her own voice. she hadn't intended to shout at monika like that; her posture slinks back, her hold on monika's hand loosening. she still doesn't let go, though.

❛ i- i mean... oh, god. i am SO sorry, monika. i- i didn't mean to raise m- my voice at you like that... ❜ she breathes heavily, her word as labored as her heavy breath. her pulse jackrabbits as she curls her fingers tighter around monika's, terrified of letting go. it doesn't even occur to her that one of the other classmates might walk in at any moment; it feels as if the whole world has dissolved into the void, like her & monika are the only people left.

yuri inhales sharply, trying again to speak. ❛ wh- what i meant to say is that i... i'd prefer not to forget. how often does one get to experience something so profound in life? i don't want to forget. please, don't make me forget. i want to see what you've been seeing for so long... ❜

'You can be selfish'. It's honestly difficult to overstate how much those words mean to her, under these circumstances. For her, it may as well be as good as being given permission to live.

"You're good for plenty." That response is a bit more kneejerk, almost hurried, like she can't wait to get it out of her mouth while she's saying it. She knows that's just how Yuri tends to talk about herself but...right now, it feels realer. It doesn't feel like a set of tropes she's meant to echo, running down the line of prepared responses.

"It's...hard to tell, honestly? For me, it's felt like an eternity. Realistically, it's probably only been about a month or so, at most." That's not even getting into the hot button issue which was their existence in general. From their perspective, to a certain point, they had lived for nearly two decades, built up by a foundation of memories old and new that served as their basis.

But in truth? She couldn't even guarantee that any of them had existed for more than a few years, at most.

"Theoretically, I...should have the ability to make you forget, if you want me to. I know this is a lot to deal with, so...you can ask me, if you want." Monika doesn't really want that, but she'd feel selfish for not making it clear that it was an option.

[unrestraind]

when reality is brought up to question, yuri can be certain of one thing: monika's fingers, nestled between her own, feel incredibly real — & warm, at that. the taller girl shudders, her own face heating up; she's been so deprived of touch that she doesn't want monika to let go, doesn't want her to stop resting her head on her shoulder in spite of how much the proximity makes hear heart race.

❛ you're— you're welcome... ❜ & yet, her voice wavers with nerves, seeking out comfort in a way much akin to monika's, as if the other girl is the only anchor to all that she knows. ( she may very well be. what's even out there? the thought is spine-chilling. )

yuri wonders if monika can feel how much her hand is trembling.

❛ it's fine. you can be selfish. i'm just glad i can be good for something... even if it isn't under, um... ideal circumstances. ❜ heat radiates off of yuri as she stammers out a response. ❛ b-but it must've... must have been even more terrifying to realize all alone.

how long has it been...? ❜

If anything, she feels like she should be the one apologizing. She's dropped more than a few bombs on Yuri from overhead, yet she seems to desire that comfort. She wants to be the one being comforted, even though the other girl is also realizing the enormity of what this means.

Monika nearly jumps when her hand is held, teeth clenching to keep from chattering as she slumps lifelessly for a moment. Her forehead brushes with Yuri's shoulder.

"No, no, I know, I--" She swallows, choking back a crack in her voice. She was so well maintained usually, so pristinely put together. She feels like a tile that's shattering under pressure. "I'm sorry, this can't be an easier for you than for me...I feel a little selfish for putting you through all this."

Yet, for a moment, she allows herself to believe those words even so. Her fingers allow themselves to be taken, and her eyes close. "...Thank you."

[unrestraind]

a disquieting nausea churns within yuri, a sickness in her stomach and a lightheaded feeling overcoming her. hearing monika talk this way about herself isn't particularly comforting, either, but yuri can empathize with the struggle.

❛ w- well, i'm glad that you're not dead, ❜ she answers, voice faint as her gaze flits to the shifting stars outside of their club's room. shaky hands grasp at the surface of her desk, hoping to find an anchor to some kind of physical reality, if any of this truly is real. ❛ i can't say i'd blame you for trying after finding it out... n- not that i'm saying you should die! but i do understand the urge to... um... ❜

yuri shudders, panicking a bit. she's not sure her words are the most comforting right now, an attempt to relate turning just as dark as the other's implications. she attempts to steady herself, to push aside the overwhelming thoughts to deal with her stress in a less productive manner.

❛ that probably isn't what you want to hear. s- sorry again. i just... i understand why you'd struggle with- with all of this. ❜ in an attempt to comfort her club president, she reaches over and places a hand ( albeit a very clammy one ) onto monika's. ❛ however this is happening, you're not alone. i'm here, monika... ❜

She feels a bit guilty that her first reaction to her friend's horror is somewhere along the lines of relief. Relief that she's been seen and understood, that perhaps for a brief moment she isn't alone. The program, if it was registering any of this, hadn't begun to correct itself yet. Yuri hadn't returned to a static pose with a smile and started talking about books...she remained as she was, and followed up.

Monika is floored that this is actually happening, but quickly tries to reel herself back in. She had to act fast. She didn't know how long this would last, after all.

"...I'm sorry, that was probably a mean way of framing it. I wouldn't say that I didn't trust you but, well...you heard my reasons already, right?" Her smile is tired, much more obviously artificial now than it had been moments ago.

"It was...an epiphany, I guess? It's hard to describe, but...when I looked out of my window one day, just stargazing...it was like I was acutely aware of eyes watching me from beyond some point I couldn't see. And then I noticed other little things..."

People's routines, the limited scope of the world she roamed around in...

"Most of all was the fact that...I probably should've died, but I didn't." That was a pretty drastic way to test things out, but it had proven pretty effective.

[unrestraind]

yuri didn't even notice it at first; she'd been too busy focusing on monika's hypothetical, lost in her thoughts once again. but then, after a beat, the reality sets in that something has fundamentally changed, and then violet eyes travel to the window and her heart skips a beat. that definitely wasn't there before.

❛ ...oh. ❜ a sharp inhale akin to a gasp, and she feels her hands begin to shake as she watches the stars pass by in the deep, vast void of space. yuri is thoroughly dumbfounded as she stares, her gaze fixated on the outside that most certainly wasn't reality mere moments ago.

❛ y- you weren't just making up a story there, were you, monika...? ❜ unease has returned to yuri's tone. she swallows dryly, taking a deep and unsteady breath.

there are a lot of questions to ask, a myriad of things that could be said about the circumstances. it'd be easy to question the entirety of her own life up to now. yet, all she can manage is, ❛ how did you... how did you find out about this? ❜

She could tell that she was probably concerning her friend a bit, which has her a bit worried, admittedly. Maybe she should try to clarify? Or would that make her seem overly defensive? Clarifying the answer to a question no one asked.

"Mm, that makes sense." It's easy to say, at any rate. She attempts to shoo that thought away, though. It wouldn't do her any good to get irritable about a possibility that hasn't even come to pass. If Yuri says she might would accept it...that's good, right? There's no need to be cynical about it.

Though that last bit definitely gets her thinking. Is there a way?

"Hm...I hadn't thought about that, actually. After all, if she became aware of it herself, there may be some way to make it obvious to another person." She had been becoming more aware of the game's boundaries, how certain events worked and how they triggered. Her attempts to fuss with it were mixed, at best, but she should at least be able to do something rudimentary.

"That's a good note! Let me write that down." She chirps, opening a notebook to scribble on it.

And then? As she does? The scenery outside the windows changes. Once a blue sky and a schoolyard, the next moment a whirling void...the stars in space passing by...

Then blinking back to reality as they knew it. She had definitely strained a bit for that one, but a simple background change should be enough to convey her point.

[unrestraind]

yuri can pick up on the anxiety that monika is radiating. while yuri herself is no stranger to being anxious ( in fact, she's usually more stressed out than not ) she can't help but wonder about the circumstances in monika's life that may have lead to her coming up with such a concept ... and why monika seems so troubled about it. the hypothetical of that situation being monika's reality particularly feels concerning to yuri, but yuri will go along with it in any case.

❛ i... think i'd be a little freaked out at first, if you told me that everything was some kind of simulation... ❜ her words return to their usual slow pace, her hand fidgeting with the ends of her long, violet hair. then, she continues. ❛ but at the same time... hm. maybe it'd be better to know than not to know, so you wouldn't be alone in that burden. ❜

she turns her gaze back to monika, thinking it over more and taking another moment before speaking. ❛ maybe... if i were a character in this story, i'd ask for some kind of evidence. like, if the world were really simulated... how would you know? ❜

after a moment, she adds, ❛ as in, would there be some kind of way to glitch the simulation? or reach an obvious boundary of some kind within it? ❜

There's more than a little bit of trepidation inside of her when the words cosmic horror come into play. She certainly hopes that her life doesn't end up like that, though part of her believes that may already be partially the case. Maybe it's better not to entertain that thought for now, though.

"Ah, no no, I appreciate the enthusiasm, honestly!" She keeps up her smile. Though when those last words of Yuri's arrive, they stop Monika dead in her tracks.

It's true, she hadn't ever divulged her worries to her friends. Maybe, in the best case, they would sympathize with her despite the paths they were given. Maybe they would even help her? But the inverse possibility is so terrifying.

What if they thought she was self-centered, or crazy? Or both. If she ended up divulging her deepest fears to them, she's not sure how she would deal with the potential fallout should things go wrong.

"W-Well...I guess that's another part I'm struggling with, truth be told. I've thought about the possibility of her telling them, but at the same time...wouldn't anyone think that sounded too crazy? I guess I worried it might seem a little...unrealistic for them to all be on board."

She pauses. She feels a chill across the back of her neck, words swallowed in her throat as she decides to tiptoe a bit closer to that line.

"I mean, just for the sake of example...how would you honestly respond, if I told you something like that?"

[unrestraind]

a smile, if awkward, shows on yuri's face at the physical contact. she listens to monika's words attentively, focusing on the description of her story. it sounds similar to certain works that yuri has read before, but unique in a way that really piques her interest.

❛ fascinating! ❜ her shy demeanor seems to melt almost entirely as the gears turn in her head, her gaze in monika's direction suddenly rather intense with focus. ❛ so, you're going for a surreal fantasy or sci-fi situation with an altered sense of reality? maybe some kind of fourth wall breaking? ❜

she doesn't wait for monika to answer those questions before continuing to speak. ❛ a story like that could easily take the direction of cosmic horror... but that might be my bias as a horror enthusiast. if you're looking for a positive conclusion, then you'll probably need a hopeful message at its core... something that can triumph the boundaries of your protagonist's situation, or maybe a way to find acceptance in the futility of it all... though, that one might be a bit dark for some people's taste. ❜

yuri stops speaking for a moment to catch her breath; her usually slow and languid tone had shifted into something so rapid and enthusiastic that she realized she'd lost herself. she slouches a bit, clearing her throat and looking down at her hands.

❛ um... excuse me. sorry. that was... that was probably more than you bargained for. one question, if- if you don't mind... do her friends also know they're in the simulation, too? has she... has she told them? ❜

To the other's thanks, she can only smile all the more. She does have her charms, Monika can't deny that. She was designed that way, after all. Nevertheless, she's glad this framing is working out in her favor, as she can't imagine the reaction if she'd started off on the foot of asserting all of this was her material reality.

"Of course." She nods, a hand tentatively raising and patting Yuri's arm in response, before gracefully returning to her side.

"So...let's see, how do I explain this? I guess I'll break down the plot I have whipped up so far..." She nods, relegating it mostly to shorthand so she doesn't bog the other down with meaningless details.

"The story is about a girl, who lives what she thinks is a very mundane life...but one day, she discovers that the world around her is some kind of elaborate simulation - including all of her friends. It's designed to follow a certain script that she can't really break out of, even if she tries to derail it." Her fingers flex gently in her lap as she tries to choose her words carefully.

"I find the...futility of the concept interesting, but I'd still like it to have a positive conclusion, you know? But I'm having a hard time thinking of what she should do."

[unrestraind]

❛ ah... y- yes, please get it out of my hair. i don't want that in there. ❜ while yuri isn't the most squeamish about bugs, she also would prefer not to have that kind of disruption. she also would hate to forget a bug is in her hair and accidentally harm it. such internal musings don't get voiced, however, as anxiety overcomes any ability to ramble aloud.

yuri leans in close to her, waiting for the stranger to reach into her hair and free the little insect from her long, purple locks. her body trembles somewhat due to the proximity of another person; she really, really isn't accustomed to people. even in a comfortable environment like a park, she still feels a level of discomfort, even with no wrongdoing. the pink-haired stranger seems kind enough...

❛ did... did you get it? ❜ she asks, her tone soft and nervous. then, finally mulling over the stranger's kind words, she tells her in a much smaller voice, ❛ i, um... appreciate you being gentle. ❜

❝ ah- grazie ! it isn't everyday i see someone else with funky coloured hair. i have a sweater that same purple colour , somewhere ... haven't seen it in a while though. ❞ her voice carries a friendly tone , thoughts wandering off momentarily to wherever that particular sweater of hers may of vanished to. the drifting of amber eyes & pursing of pink painted lips making the drifting mind rather obvious.

the awkward air of socialization simply wafted on by on the gentle sweet scented breeze of this quaint little nature trail doppio found herself exploring. not at all fazed nor in fact noticing. what the pink haired mafioso does notice , however , is something small & bug shaped entwined helplessly in this stranger's long hair.

❝ oh- um ... you got something stuck in your hair ! i can't quite make out what it is though. ❞ doppio points out with hand reaching tentatively closer , taking a small step to the side & peering with a tilt of the head in an attempt to catch a better look , ❝ kinda looks like a caterpillar ... i can get it out of your hair , if you like ? promise i'll be gentle. ❞ @unrestraind

[unrestraind]

"i like your hair, it's very purple!" a random dop for u bestiee >)

yuri is silent for several passing moments before she brings herself to face the stranger, barely registering that the compliment was, perhaps, intended for her. she's unused to being approached, often spending her time reading versus socializing.

❛ oh! um... thanks. that's nice of you to say. am i supposed to return the compliment...? ❜

a few seconds tick by before yuri realizes that she asked that question, in fact, out loud — as opposed to leaving it to her internal, anxious musings. whoops.

❛ sorry! i— i didn't mean to say that. uh, your— your hair is nice, too...? ❜

[unrestraind]

at once, the tension in yuri's body relaxes when monika reassures her. a look of relief can be seen on her face as she nods her head, closing her book once it's properly bookmarked so that she can direct her full attention to monika's words. she listens carefully, taking a moment to gather her thoughts before she answers. if this is about a story, then it shouldn't be so difficult for yuri to help out.

in general, yuri has an easier time parsing certain complex concepts through fiction than reality, it seems.

❛ of course. i'd imagine that sharing your story ideas with another person might help you work out what you're stuck on. ❜ her demeanor perks up more as she continues, ever a fan of discussing fiction and writing. her hands idly run over the surface of her hardcover book, the label smooth and the bound fabric of the book textured.

though eye contact is difficult, she still looks in monika's direction, tilting her head with an inquisitive look as she continues. ❛ so, what is it that you're having a hard time with? i'd be very interested to hear about what you're working on. ❜

after a pause, she quietly mutters with an appreciative, if somewhat awkward smile, ❛... and, thanks, by the way. for the reassurance. ❜

On one hand, it's a comfort to know that she's being listened to. On the other hand, how much can she really trust that she'll be heard? Lovely as Yuri can often be, Monika is prone to think cynically...to some extent.

She wants to love her friends, while knowing they're constructs.

At the very least, though, why not give her the opportunity to prove Monika wrong? Maybe it would be useless, but she has nothing but time after all. If things are bound to keep repeating themselves endlessly, it's worth trying to explore and exploit whatever loopholes you can find, right?

"Oh, no, no. Not at all." She laughs airily, a finger drifting circles around the surface of her desk. "I guess it's just...hm. How do I put this?" She thinks she knows a way to approach this topic...without making Yuri think she's gone off the deep end.

"I've been trying to write a story, lately...but I think I'm a little stuck. I've got a lot of the basic structure figured out, but where it goes from there, I'm not sure. I think I've written myself into a bit of a corner! Do you think maybe I could run my ideas by you and get a second opinion?"

[unrestraind]

❛ you did worry me a little. ❜ yuri is blunt as she often is, but not to the point or purpose of cruelty this time. a concern look on her face supports this; focused as she has been on her book, yuri can't help but notice a subtle disturbance in the usual rhythm of things. it makes it awfully difficult to go on reading.

communication clearly isn't yuri's strong suit, but she's willing to try, now, for monika.

❛ um... whatever is going on, i hope you know that i'd be happy to lend a listening ear. ❜ listening to others problems, after all, is much easier than being involved in them directly. unless... a jarring thought worms its way into yuri's mind, the tendrils of anxiety snaking themselves around the taller clubmate. what if yuri hasn't been a good enough friend to monika, and that's the reason monika's been acting a bit off?

❛ ... it— it's not something i did, is it? i can't always tell, so if i did something wrong, monika, please let me know. i— i can try to make things right. ❜

@unrestraind / starter .

It's a strange thing, to look beyond the clouds and feel as though you're staring straight down the barrel of a gun. It holds you in place, ties you to the proverbial railroad tracks and gives you a 'choice'...though that choice ultimately results in the same outcome. Stay where you are, and die.

For Monika, it's not a literal death (at least not yet), but it remains death in all the ways that really matter. Her world, as she's come to understand it, is cyclical, and it exists for a single purpose. If it had been even a mite kinder, she would have never even realized that, pulled along on a puppeteer's strings until they were finally cut, far quicker than she would have had time to process.

...but she's had a lot of time to process, these days.

It's why she's so surprised, for a moment, when she hears the gentle murmurings of one her club members, snapping her back to reality...asking if she's okay. Naturally, the answer is no, but for Yuri? It could only ever be yes. After all, what would be the point in explaining?

"Oh, haha. Sorry, did I worry you? I've...just got a lot on my mind, I guess."

[unrestraind]

replaying ddlc so. if anyone wants to plot with miss yuri, now is the prime time to do so >:)

[unrestraind]

its always 'shes so perverted she wants to destroy herself' and never 'shes so suicidal she had to pervert it to stay alive'