unspeakableisms-blog

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Narcissa.

Narcissa was almost relieved when she saw Rodolphus’ face as the one that she had bumped into. For a second, she thought she might have bothered Sirius himself and that thought made her want to run away from this whole situation even more. Running a hand through her hair, straightening back her blonde locks, Narcissa managed to smile at him, not winningly, or convincingly, but at least it was a smile. Her mother would be proud, if she were not swimming in this news herself. 

“Don’t worry,” she said, waving her hand at his apology. Simple sorry’s did not really matter now anyway. They couldn’t. “I do not think anyone was told.” She sucked in a deep breath, eyes scanning the crowd once more for a familiar set of dark hair and did not see any. Lowering her gaze, her voice, Cissa shook her head, but it was not because she was saying no. She was merely just as confused as he was.

“If I had my guess he’d back because of his cause,” Narcissa sneered at the word, knowing full well just what was going on here: another pureblood man uncaring of the people who might have cared for him. “Surely he’s not back because he cares about any of us. He’s back because he wants something for himself. Happy is not the word I would use to describe myself, right now.” 

She cleared her throat, eyebrows raising. “Are you? Happy, that is.”

Studying Narcissa, Rodolphus found himself wishing it was as easy to communicate with Bellatrix as it was with Narcissa. Narcissa he could genuinely talk to. Instead of dance around it the younger Black just said what she thought and how she felt and that was what Rodolphus could work with. Bellatrix, he guessed, had to have left the party by now. She had to be upset by the news. As ever, the first remark coming up in his head upon realizing that was a snide one (that she should find her solace with the person she always did instead of him because he wasn’t in the mood) and he sighed a little at that. He had to focus on Narcissa now. “I’m afraid you’re correct,” Rodolphus said, bringing up a hand to run through his hair in a gesture of stress. He shot a look around himself afterwards, as though to check the subject of their conversation was nearby. He didn’t seem to be. “He left years ago because he didn’t fit into our society. He’s not magically going to fit in now, no matter how much your family wants that to happen.” What was next, was Andromeda going to walk through the doors of the manor? Would she be welcomed back too despite of betraying the family? The Blacks had lost it at last, it seemed, because Sirius’ return would not be appreciated by the rest of society.

He shook his head when Narcissa asked if he was happy. Why did people keep asking him that? “I don’t think anyone is thrilled to see Sirius back, Narcissa,” he said. “I have many reasons not to want him back here, trust me.” Not a single one he would disclose in this moment, of course. “But, more importantly: are you alright?” he continued, studying her closely. “I honestly can’t imagine how you feel right now.”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Narcissa

A broken smile fell on her lips as she noticed his almost-eye roll and, for a sad moment, Narcissa recognized the rift that was in her sister’s relationship with her husband. Rodolphus was a friend, at least in her eyes, and right now she decided that she would be a friend to him, even if that meant not knowing her sister’s side fully. Besides, Narcissa understood deeply that she needed a friend right now. And solving his problem meant ignoring her own. “Sometimes with Druella, you just want to explode,” Narcissa said, shaking her head. “But if us Black women controlled ourselves, you all would be living in quite a boring world, now wouldn’t you?”

She was teasing, trying to make him smile, at least momentarily. Although, it was not quite a lie. Narcissa was not quite the hurricane that her sister was but they both could destroy, if they so wished. Narcissa had just been taught to conceal and reign in and push down so that the world saw her as a star, rather than a tornado. 

At his admission, though her heart almost broke. There was a time where she could remember Bellatrix’s gigantic smile around her husband but now… goodness she had been blind. How had she not seen the dullness in her eyes? The confusion almost hit her like a train and for a second she wondered just what else she was missing. Turning to Rodolphus, careful not to touch him as to not start any unsavory rumors, she nodded her head and moved out of the party, down the hall and to her favorite library in the mansion. It was one of the smaller ones but the books were well worn and they smelled like myths. 

“Here,” she said, putting a silencing spell on the room before placing herself in a chair, allowing her shoulders to slump for a moment before raising them once more in her picture-perfect posture. “I do not think you can help with my problems. Lucius’ wandering eyes do not, unfortunately, have any cure.” Quickly, Narcissa pulled out her wand and waved over the drinks, looking at him. “But, Bellatrix, on the other hand, I have lived with my whole life. What’s going on?” 

Considering how much of Rodolphus’ manor Bellatrix managed to destroy on a good day, Rodolphus wished that she found it in herself to control herself and not take it out on his books or their dinner plates or whatever else she could be throwing around. A more boring world, maybe, it would be if they controlled themselves, but it would be a better world. One where Rodolphus didn’t constantly have to feel like he was cleaning up messes after his wife. That train of thought was the reason he didn’t reply apart from a quick non-verbal reaction: a quick quirk upwards of his lips, an ironic smirk that didn’t meet his eyes. He appreciated the effort that Narcissa was putting in, but it did nothing for him. It was with another quick look around that he followed Narcissa through the manor. She seemed to know her way around perfectly, of course she did, which was a blessing. When they stepped inside of a library Rodolphus smiled briefly, genuinely, and couldn’t help but look around. He loved libraries. It was libraries where he found his peace and where he could be himself the most, even if he was with someone else. If this were another occasion he would have remarked upon how great the library smelt or how great it looked, but for now he supposed the way he was looking around as he walked after Narcissa said those words for him. He sat down on the other chair and folded his arms over one another uncomfortably. Now that they were actually here he regretted having said anything. “I could talk to Lucius,” he said. “He won’t like me for saying what I will, but he needs to hear it.” He didn’t know what Lucius’ unhealthy obsession with Violet was and nor did he wish to. He chose Narcissa. Lucius had a choice and he made it, so he should stick to it. Where to start about Bellatrix? Rodolphus leaned back against the leaning of the chair and closed his eyes momentarily. “It’s a long story,” he said. “And I don’t want to tell you anything that she didn’t tell you. But there’s a lot wrong in our marriage. She blames me for it and I blame her for it and I don’t think either one of us are happy. And I know - happiness is irrelevant. But should it be?”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Bellatrix.

His precious books.  Of course that would be his main concern when he walked in to see the damage that she had done to the room.  She was surprised that he had even entered the room.  He was the only person who knew she had had to trade her hexes and jinxes in for destruction in an attempt to seem more respectable to society as her anger was usually directed at him.  Often his first move when anything was flying in this room was to put as much distance between he and it as possible until she had had a chance to calm down. 

If she were still a child, she would have stomped her foot at him in a huff when he took away her drink before she had even had a chance to drink it and he stood in her way from getting it back from him.  Damn him, she wanted to curse.  When had he decided to get so domineering with her?  “Why do you want him gone, Rodolphus?  Aside from what I’ve done to your study, Sirius’ return doesn’t affect you.”  Even as she said it, she knew that it wasn’t true.

This was likely to affect him greatly for the simple fact that he was married to a Black and so any scandal or changes that happened in that family was likely to boil over to affect him as well.  She turned away from him with her black hair fanning out behind her, looking more tussled than usual.  “I need to find out why he’s decided to come home.” she said, almost to herself with a scowl on her face as her brain started to think.  “I don’t believe for a second that it’s because he’s decided to fulfill his duty.”

“You’ve already ruined my study, I don’t know and nor do I want to know what else you could be destroying in this house,” he replied shortly. Whatever his stake was in this situation, it was none of Bellatrix’ business and he wasn’t going to tell her. She could believe that it was for purely selfish reasons because he didn’t want her ruining his manor. The fact that she was doing that, at all, was ridiculous and once again proved his point about her. She could also believe that he wanted Sirius gone because he loathed all Blacks or that he wanted Sirius out of the way because he was simply a figure no one wanted to see around. He didn’t care what she thought of it at all. He folded his arms over one another and watched how Bellatrix moved away from him with a short shake of his head. “You and everyone else,” he said. Of course, it was on everyone’s mind: the great big question what reason Sirius Black may have to return home. What did he have to do to make his family take him back and what was important enough for the man to swallow his pride? There was something. “Narcissa said the same thing when I spoke to her earlier. He doesn’t care about his duty, Bellatrix. I highly doubt any of us genuinely do.” And yes, he meant the two of them with that too. 

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Bellatrix.

There was a million words that she wanted to use to describe how she felt about tomorrow and ‘excited’ was very close to the bottom of the list alongside ‘happy’.  Society wanted to believe that love still had a place in marriage.  They were supposed to be celebrating five years of marriage and act as if they were still going strong which seemed true on the surface.  It had been her idea knowing that it was her duty to hold such events where Blacks could be looked at with envy.

Meanwhile, the truth was that the two of them had barely touched each other in the past couple years.  There was love for her husband, but it was buried behind insurmountable walls around her heart and a chasm between them that seem uncrossable.  Bellatrix didn’t know how to open up to him again.  “Well I wanted it to rival our wedding.” she said to him with a shrug of her shoulders.  “That had been hard to top.”  In more ways than one.

Rodolphus pressed his lips together in a thin line after sighing the moment that Bellatrix mentioned their wedding and he looked at something behind her afterwards. He didn’t know what to say to that. She knew as well as he did that this five year anniversary soiree would never top their wedding. Five years ago it had been genuine. They were both excited to get married and start this new life with each other. It was back when they still believed their marriage would work about because they fit perfectly together. Opposites did attract, after all, and they would balance each other out. Perhaps they would have, if everything that happened had happened differently or hadn’t it all. But it did and what ifs were pointless. “You know that it’s not going to,” he said eventually. “That wasn’t acting. That was genuine.” And this wasn’t going to be. No, Rodolphus wasn’t happy to celebrate his fifth year anniversary with his wife and he didn’t think that she was happy either. It was simple for the sake of keeping up appearances. It was to show people that the alliance between the Lestrange and the Black family had worked out perfectly, exactly as they intended. The truth was very different. “I hope you will enjoy yourself, at least,” he added. “It seems that everyone is looking forward to it.” He wasn’t going to pick a fight with her today, just like she wasn’t with him. That was what they owed to each other, Rodolphus believed.

If Rodolphus hadn’t come to the conclusion that he had days prior when he spoke to Emerson, he might have tried harder. He might have asked, stupidly and naively, if they could maybe try again, if they could use this five year anniversary to forget everything about the past and simply start anew. But he wasn’t that naive and he knew there was no forgetting. So instead he looked at his wife, smiled a little and shrugged his shoulders then. “We really ought to figure this out. Sometime after the anniversary.”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Octavius.

He had been a backpacker who traipsed off the beaten track into territory that most would balk at. He had taught himself the Dark arts, experimented and terrified those around him. He wore his hair long and his suits fairly unfitted, and colourful. He had killed his father and made it out to be an underlying health problem. He worked on dark objects all day and for most of his nights. Octavius Burke had done many things, and did many of them well, but one thing he had never done was throw a dinner party. With everything they had been dealing with, he had assumed a dinner party would be the least of his worries and the easiest to deal with but had found that he had been wrong. Very wrong.

“I believe my mother secretly craved a daughter and was disappointed that he could never have another child. It had taken years for her to fall pregnant with me. Ava is a ready made daughter, someone that my mother can take under her wing and fuss over. I am glad” he agreed, not sure why he had explained his mother’s feelings in such detail, but the words had tumbled from his mouth and there was no way of putting them back in. “Quite smoothly, despite a few little hiccups. I am not arrogant enough to claim that I could have done it on my own, I know that I definitely could not. I can organise a good game of cards from time to time though”.

He did not ask what Rodolphus meant when he mentioned that he had done well. Octavius could infer and the words did not need to be spoken. He did smirked however, at his surprise when Octavius mentioned his wife’s interest in Ava. Did he suspect their ulterior motives? Or was he simply, genuinely shocked? “She has” he repeated, beating back his smirk. He would have thought Rodolpus privvy to his wife’s plans, but was somewhat amused and glad that she had not divulged. “I do not believe it is Bellatrix who is seeking tips, but rather seeking to hand them over”.

Rodolphus listened interestedly as Octavius spoke. He didn’t know a lot about the Burke family, truth to be told. It was Bellatrix who seemed to spent more time with Octavius and now of course Ava. Good conversation or a story that Rodolphus had not yet heard, whether it was personal or not, was better than engaging in small talk that repeated itself with every person he met (today that was congratulating him and saying that he had organized a wonderful soiree, at which point Rodolphus would give Bellatrix all the credit).  

“It’s lovely that your mother and Ava get along so well,” Rodolphus said a little smile. The same couldn’t be said for him and his family-in-law and Bellatrix got along with one member of her family-in-law so well that it threatened to end her marriage. The predicament that Octavius described sounded better to him. “It sounds like your mother is delighted that Ava and you have decided to make the engagement official.” He nodded on the words about the event that Octavius helped organize. “I have to agree with you there: we do need our fiancé or wife to pull of events like this. I must admit, though: a game of cards sounds better than this.” He gestured around himself briefly, indicating the event.

Shortly after Octavius confirmed that Bellatrix had been talking to Ava, Rodolphus realized that he shouldn’t have been so surprised. Whatever Bellatrix’ motive was (there was too much possibilities), Rodolphus already knew it would be working in Bellatrix’ favour somehow. “I guess I don’t keep up with everything Bella does,” he said with a little grin. “She is a very busy woman. And one with a lot of knowledge to hand over, of course.” He paused momentarily at that and studied Octavius briefly before grinning again. “She is very good at organizing events. I’m sue that Ava appreciates the tips.” He didn’t believe for a second it was about event planning.

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Amycus.

Amycus wondered if there was more to what Rodolphus was saying than he would admit. Anniversaries provided an excuse for happiness, an event to celebrate to break up the days of the marriage. Everyone had to be happy–or at least appear to be–on their anniversary unless given a very good excuse not to be. Amycus gave the other man a wry smile. “Not just you. But not just anniversaries either. Weddings, baby showers…well almost any event really,” he shrugged. Matrimony and engagements were forefront in the minds of almost every eligible person and their concerned family members. Amycus unconsciously looked around for his own parents, ready to dart away so they couldn’t push him in the direction of yet another available girl.

“Were you involved in the planning?” Amycus asked, eyebrows raising. “Good man,” he laughed, clapping Rodolphus on the shoulder. “I can see why you’ve lasted this long.” When Amycus was married, he’d probably have some opinions, but leave most of the planning and details up to his wife. “She’s my next stop. Though if anyone asked, I paid my respects to her first,” he grinned. 

He could almost see in Amycus’ gaze that he was wondering about something when Rodolphus mentioned that it was events like these that sparked talk of more occasions of the like - but he could probably see it because everyone was looking like that. Anniversaries were plenty in their social circle, but it was never quite the event that a betrothal or engagement announcement or an actual wedding would be. The atmosphere was different somehow, Rodolphus found. “I suppose it is events like these that leads people to wonder about a number of things,” he agreed. “Or maybe they’re just looking forward to or looking for an excuse for the next soiree. There is, after all, always another soiree to attend.” Sometimes Rodolphus genuinely wondered how people never got sick of organizing and attending them, but he supposed it was tradition. It was a part of their rhythm. They were so used to it that anything else was simply unthinkable. “I have to admit, I do enjoy soirees better when it’s someone else hosting them.” Rodolphus laughed, softly and shortly, when Amycus complimented him on being involved in the planning. “I don’t think event planning is for me, honestly,” he confessed with a grin. “Let’s just say it’s not a hobby of mine. It’s a good thing Bellatrix is so good at it. But I think most other men agree with that sentiment.” Rodolphus yet had to meet someone in their social circle who said they loved event planning, but perhaps it wasn’t meant to be enjoyable. “Of course you went to her first,” he said, nodding a little. “I won’t tell her anything.”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Henry.

Rodolphus’ way of challenging his statement caused Henry to hesitate, merely shrugging before he spoke. “If you don’t mind,” He shrugged. The glass would give him something to busy his hands with. It was hard not to feel as though he stuck out when among the other purebloods. Suits were stifling. The setting was dull and any suggesting about doing something that felt worthwhile was always met by eye rolls and the people around his parents’ age scoffing at him.

“I can grab us each a glass if you would prefer,” He added. As collected as he was in front of the reporters and spectators to his sport, Henry still had little explanation for the sudden amount of nerves that appeared when talking to Rodolphus. He excused himself for a moment, returning shortly after with two glasses in hand.

Henry offered one to Rod and brought the other to his lips, taking a sip while he listened. “I will have to compliment her when I see her.” The chuckle easily flowed from his lips, a small smile creasing across when he bought the glass back to his mouth.

He nearly choked when Rodolphus next spoke. The question was unexpected — or at least something he should have been better prepared for. “My uh— Isla,” He mumbled then cleared his throat, regretting not having simply been able to simply say the word friend. “Isla invited me.”

Rodolphus watched with a slight frown in his eyebrows how Henry offered to grab the both of them a glass of water. He was pretty sure that the normal way of things was that from the two of them, it was Rodolphus that got the both of them a drink. He was the one that offered Henry a drink, after all, and he actually hosted this event. Therefore he wasn’t sure whether he should be happily surprised or just annoyed and decided on neither, in the end. Henry clearly wasn’t comfortable in his current surroundings and Rodolphus commenting on it wasn’t going to help. That was a shocking amount of empathy from him and not something anyone should get used to. He took the second glass of water over from the other man and took a short sip of the water, smiling lightly. He had given up on staying sober during events about a month ago, but that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy a glass of water during a soiree. It was a better idea to stay sober during his own event, he supposed. “That sounds like a wonderful idea,” he agreed on Henry’s words about Bellatrix. “She deserves all the compliments about this event, so I’m sure that she would love to hear it.” Rodolphus felt like he kept sending their guests Bellatrix’ way, which may be because she would be kept occupied that way. The moment that Henry seemed to choke on his drink - it was water, how did he do that? - Rodolphus looked at him with a little frown in his eyebrows. He thought that his question had been logical enough to be asked. “Ah, Isla,” he said with a short nod. “I haven’t seen her around yet. Or Emerson, for that matter, but since I personally invited her I know she’ll be here.” He hoped that Henry could take a hint - whatever hint he wanted, because Rodolphus didn’t have the slightest clue what was going on in that situation. And neither did he want to know, if he was being honest. “Well, Henry, I hope you’ll enjoy yourself with Isla. The two of you seem to be good friends.”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Regulus.

At the mention of his cousin, Regulus’ gaze slid across the crowd, his gaze honing on the familiar elegance of his cousin. Was she speaking to Emerson Yaxley? That caught him off guard — those two seemed like oil and water, what could they ever have to talk about? She was likely there at Rodolphus’ invitation. That thought came with a curious glance back at the older male.

“It’s my honor to attend,” Regulus commented between sips. His tone remained light, his words honest. So long as Bellatrix was happy, that’s what mattered to Regulus. He’d never understand what she saw in him, but whatever that was, could he fault her for it? “You’re family now after all,” the boy reminded him pointedly. While Rodolphus might not have been a Black by name, he was tied to the family, whether Regulus liked it or not. His attempt to reposition the family name would reflect on Bellatrix and in turn Rodolphus. The last thing they needed was whispers about how it’d been Rodolphus who had married down.

A light laugh parted Regulus’ lips as it was suggested he field his question toward his cousin. “I’ll do that if I want to find my knees on backward before the night is over,” he commented. Bellatrix had never once turned her wand against him but under the right circumstances, anything was possible, wasn’t it? Even if she did, he doubted she would do anything that would seriously harm him. She loved him.

“I’m afraid,” No he wasn’t, “That’s still quite a ways off for me,” Regulus declared. He was barely out of his teens, marriage wasn’t even the last thing on his list. It didn’t make the list at all. Especially these days when he found attending events, hyping the family name to be so draining, so taxing. Society was a never-ending circle. He may very well be the only one of them that almost enjoyed the comments made in Witch Weekly. At least that seemed to spice up things a little bit.

A soft hum vibrated on his lips, “It’s said that a man is lucky if he finds a best friend,” Regulus commented, “And even luckier if he finds that best friend in his wife.”

Rodolphus doubted if it was indeed Regulus’ honour to attend. It had taken him years to fall into the good graces of any of the older Blacks and he didn’t intend to spent the same amount of time charming Bellatrix’ cousin. He did his best to make the marriage work and at the moment it just wasn’t his priority. He also knew it wasn’t on him that no one except Narcissa initially liked him: he was pretty sure they would have disliked anyone that married Bellatrix. Bellatrix needed to get married, being the oldest in the family, and the Black family had needed something to distract from Andromeda leaving the family. But Rodolphus had promised Bellatrix that this day they would show everyone how well their marriage was still working out and that they were a force to be reckoned with, so he smiled at Regulus as the other continued to speak. “I’m afraid you’re correct about that,” he said. “Bellatrix is quite formidable, especially with her magic.” He had no problem at all admitting that. In fact, he was quite proud of her for it. There were not many women among the ranks of the Dark Lord and that his wife was meant that she was extraordinarily skilled.

He found himself contemplating Regulus’ words briefly. On the one hand the younger man was probably right. Rodolphus himself didn’t marry until he was twenty-five and Bellatrix had been twenty-three, but his brother still wasn’t married (and he doubted that Rabastan was ever going to, seeing how much fun he had being the irresponsible bachelor of the family). Perhaps the Black family was simply waiting for the right time for Regulus to get married, whenever that may be. There couldn’t possibly be another scandal they had to cover up, did they? He thought of Narcissa and Lucius briefly, then he thought of his own marriage with Bellatrix and frowned to himself briefly. That assumption about having ran out of scandals came too quickly.

“Of course you have years ahead of you to prepare for marriage,” Rodolphus said. “So what else is there for you? Are you planning to take a job to fill your time?” He honestly did not have the slightest clue what people did day in day out if they didn’t work a job. He took his own job because it was what he wanted to do for years, but it also kept him occupied and it was a high-profile job, thus benefiting his family name. “But I suppose taking a job isn’t for everyone either,” he added as an afterthought. “We don’t actually need to work jobs, after all.”

The words that followed made Rodolphus smile again. He glanced over Regulus’ shoulder to see Bellatrix, by all appearances occupied with her guests and in conversation. “That is very lucky indeed,” he agreed. “It’s also almost mythical, so it’s a good thing that Bellatrix and I are quite good at defying the odds.”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Bellatrix.

Date: July 20th, 1978; late evening Location: Lestrange Manor For: @unspeakableisms

When her great uncle had issued the invitation to all of society, no one had suspected the news that he had been preparing to drop on everyone.  He hadn’t told anyone, not even his own family.  The only thing that had kept her face from revealing how she felt about the news was the years of training that she had had.  No one could know that she was anything but pleased that her cousin had returned to the fold.  After all, for someone such as her who prided herself on familial duty, she should be glad that he had returned.

She had managed to keep herself from saying anything revealing, but as soon as she had been able, she had escaped from the estate to return to the safety of her home.  Using the word upset to describe the way Bellatrix felt in that moment was an understatement and the mess she had made of the library once again showed just how she felt about the news.  Books had been pulled from the shelves in a wave of uncontrolled magic as if she were a child again.  Glass lay shattered around the floor after she had thrown fragile glasses for the enjoyment of hearing them break.  

At least it was all fixable with a simple reparo.  With most of her anger released, she made her way to the cart holding the decanter of scotch in the corner.  It had been nearly a week since her last drink, but she felt today deserved such a break.  Just as she had finished pouring herself a glass, she heard the door open.  She turned around to see Rodolphus standing there looking at her.  Bellatrix swirled the liquor around in the glass, but she hadn’t taken a sip yet.  “I’ll fix it.” she said with a surly tone, knowing that her husband was likely to scold her for the destruction of their study.

Sirius Black making a sudden reappearance wasn’t good for anyone. Not for the Blacks, even if Rodolphus was certain the older generation thought they solved a scandal instead of so very obviously creating a new one. Not for anyone else, because Sirius Black was a traitor and no one should have to put up with that. And not for Rodolphus in any way, who guessed that Bellatrix would be furious and who didn’t like the Blacks in general (Narcissa excluded) and was not willing to put up with another one.

Bellatrix made it to their manor before he did, catching Narcissa before he left and realizing Bella must have left without him for a reason he understood. He could hear glasses shatter and books fall to the ground as he made his way to the library, the room he was supposed to love the most in his manor but started to dislike a little more every time Bellatrix trashed it. Opening the door, he was met with the exact sight that he expected, and it took a surprising amount of self control not to start yelling at his wife. Admittedly, what he did say wasn’t great either. “You will fix it? You need to stop doing this. You can’t keep breaking objects when things don’t go your way. Especially not if those objects are books.” He did not have his priorities in order. “I mean - you need to talk to me. And I’m not asking. You’re not going to drink. You’re going to sit down, catch your breath and tell me exactly what you want to do. Or rather, how you want to make sure Sirius Black disappears from our lives as soon as possible.” He knew she had ideas. She always did. Moving from his spot in the doorway, he closed the door behind him and pulled the glass of Scotch from her hand and put it aside. “I don’t care what you want to do or how you want to do it. I want him gone. I’m with you, Bella.”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

narcissa.

( JULY 20, 1978 )

Seeing Sirius again was like being transported back in time. There was a moment where their eyes locked and he’d instantly looked down. She’d felt the ice in her own, blue eyes; magical but more importantly, strong. Her icicles were pointed at his chest as if she could throw one towards him with merely a flick of her eyelashes. So many years lost and Narcissa did not want to make up; did not want to bow down and obey the words of her uncle and father. Didn’t he know how much this hurt? How the feelings inside of her could have built a castle if she’d let them? 

At the moment, Narcissa thought she might become an ice queen. She’d been quite icy towards everyone in her life recently, except Ros and Regulus.

Regulus. The name shot through her brain and for a moment, her own selfish ideas were pushed aside as she scanned the crowd for him. Thinking she saw a familiar set of hair, she pushed her way through the crowd, only to run smack into someone else.

“Pardon me,” she said, trying to parse her words. “I’m looking for someone very important. After all, my cousin has just returned to the highest place of society and none of us were told, so, today has been a rather… interesting day to say the least.”

Rodolphus Lestrange was a man that didn’t like surprises. He liked to be prepared for whatever was about to come. He liked to know everything, or at least everything necessarily to know what was going on in a situation. When invitations were send out by Arcturus for a soiree with a week’s notice, Rodolphus was not amused. It was also only ten days before Bellatrix’ birthday, so it was a strange moment to throw a soiree. It meant there must be an occasion. The moment that Sirius Black walked through the doors, his suspicion was confirmed. No one should ever like surprises. In the end, they were always bad. No matter what Arcturus said, Rodolphus’ mind was decidedly not on celebrating anything. He wasn’t going to cooperate with yet another Black that would only undermine him and think of him as unworthy. No, Rodolphus’ mind was on Bellatrix and wondering how they could get out of here and start plotting to take Sirius out of the equation so things could go back to normal as soon as possible. Sirius Black did not belong with the purebloods and no one should, for one second, think that he did. That was delusional.

Moving through the crowd to find his wife, he ran into someone. Rodolphus was relieved to see that someone was Narcissa, even if the concern followed immediately afterwards. “You’re telling me,“ he said, only to realize how annoyed he sounded afterwards. “Sorry,” he said. “We’re all on edge right now, I suspect. You weren’t told either?“ He blinked at that. “What do you think? What are his motives? Are you happy he’s back?“ Was anyone, really?

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Hazel.

If she were a better actress, perhaps Hazel might have been able to convince her mother that she was sick that evening and so might have managed to avoid attending the Lestrange party. Her lover’s anniversary with his wife was hardly the sort of event that she considered to be a particularly good time and being curled up in bed with a good book seemed the better alternative. But at the same time she knew that her absence from events hosted by the Lestranges would eventually draw unwanted attention and so she attended without complaint.

Her evening was made more uncomfortable every time she saw Bellatrix and Rodolphus together. She couldn’t deny that they appeared to be happy, and as much as she knew it was likely mostly for show, it still twisted her in knots.

“Mr Lestrange.” When she was finally able to speak to Rodolphus she smiled with perhaps too much warmth given where they were, but she couldn’t help it and reigned it in after a moment. Her eyes danced when he mentioned the library. It wasn’t lost on her that he wished to take her to a Lestrange library - the sister library to the one where they had shared their first kiss - on his anniversary. “I would very much like to see your library. If you are certain that you can disappear from your own party, that is.”

More than ever, events felt like put up shows to Rodolphus. He usually felt like there was some sort of truth to them, but between Bellatrix and him he couldn’t tell who was acting the part more. He was smiling and pretending to be having the time of his life - which would tell anyone that actually knew him that it was a facade, because Rodolphus never enjoyed these type of events, never mind when he was the one hosting them. He didn’t like having people in his space, making judgements about what it looked like, gossiping about Merlin knew what now. He didn’t think anyone knew him well enough to see him through, though. He almost believed it himself, but almost was never enough.

Rodolphus could spot the immediate moment when Hazel put his remark into context, which of course didn’t take her long at all. It wasn’t terribly subtle of him. Just subtle enough that no one apart from Hazel would understood what he meant. To everyone else listening in on their conversation they simply had a shared love of books, which they also did. Hazel was an exception to the rule of not liking to have people in his space. “I think that my guests can be left alone for a couple of minutes,” he said. “Though if something is on the fire the moment we return that isn’t on me.” Bellatrix would still be around, after all, though if she saw Hazel and Rodolphus together she may be the one setting the fire. That would be an interesting turn of events, no doubt. He grinned briefly at that thought. “Follow me. And do keep in mind it’s not quite as impressive as the other library I showed you around.” The truth was that he didn’t care particularly much about showing Hazel the library. He just wanted to minute away from the crowd in his gardens and with Hazel. He walked back inside of the house via the backdoors and lead Hazel through the nearby hallway, where he opened the door to the library and closed it behind them immediately. He didn’t pay any mind to the bookcases they were passing by as he made his way towards the sitting area of the library. “You have no idea how glad I am to be away from that gathering for a couple of minutes,” he sighed, his earlier facade falling away. “It’s like inviting people in to judge about your marriage. Have you made any interesting judgements so far that you’re willing to share? I’d make a few myself, but they’d be too honest for anyone to hear.”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Amycus.

It was always interesting to Amycus to see couples amongst his set. There was so much variance in the relationships and how they reacted to one another. Bellatrix and Rodolphus were one of the couples that he hadn’t yet figured out. But they were having a party, so of course he was there. “How could I not congratulate you?” he asked heartily. “Any anniversary is an accomplishment,” he grinned. Not that divorce was overly common or acceptable for anyone of their stature. It was another reason why Amycus wanted to be sure of his choice before he made one. 

“I am enjoying myself,” he nodded. “Are you?” The man certainly seemed more at ease of late. Amycus wondered at the cause, but was pleased all the same. Interacting with overly proper sticks in the mud was not fun if you weren’t poking at them. 

Rodolphus was certain Amycus didn’t know exactly how right he was. The Blacks may joke about Bellatrix managing to be married to him for five years, but everyone with an objective perspective on the matter was probably going to see that is was his wife who was the challenging person of the two of them. Bellatrix was great, but there were too many things (or people) standing in between them for things to go well. Despite of that it was five years. “I ought to agree with you,” he said with a nod. “I think anniversaries are the best days of any marriage. Everyone is so happy.” And the married couple often had a facade to uphold on that very day. “Is it just me, or it is on anniversary celebrations that people start wondering about other people’s betrothals and engagement with whoever they come across?” He had to admit, he had a bit of a tendency like that, even if he only asked one person about that so far. Honesty was something very hard to come by at an event like this, a thought that made Rodolphus smile as he regarded Amycus. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” he said seriously. “It has been quite an effort to plan all this and it pleases me a lot to see people enjoy it. As for me, I’m happy as long as Bellatrix is. And she seems to be. Have you spoken to her yet?”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Emerson.

Emerson was quite. While she could be talkative, quite wasn’t a new thing for Emerson, but this one felt strange, it felt off somehow. Rodolphus was right, even when she had been tripped up in the past, she’d still managed to make it to this moment, right here, right now. That hadn’t come without any risk.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared before,” Emerson admitted softly. “It’s one thing if I fall out of a tree and break my arm, it’s another if I give my heart to someone and —” her head lowered, throat feeling tight. The urge to cry washed over her, her eyes tingling. Emerson had never been one to cry, even when she had broken her arm when she was younger. She had no intention of doing it now.

Inhaling sharply, Emerson’s brow furrowed, “You’re either right, or you’re wrong, fifty, fifty,” she declared with a clearing of her throat. “I suppose I’ve done things with fewer odds in my favor,” a weak laugh broke through the air. The fact that she’d admitted how scared she was to Rodolphus agitated her slightly. Perhaps it was because when he was around she did most of the talking that it was so easy to let that truth slip past her lips. Emerson had always pictured herself as strong, and brave, not weak and terrified as she did now.

“I never said that doing so would be easy,” She pointed out, forcing her grin to her face as she struggled to find the comfort she’d had when she first climbed the tree. Her nose wrinkled at Rodolphus’ declaration. Balanced. Neutral. That all sounded so bland. “So you wouldn’t take a risk if it meant you could be happy?”

Rodolphus didn’t like Emerson’s quiet, which he wasn’t used to. For as long as he had known Emerson, there hadn’t been a subject of conversation that made her go quiet. Apparently the found it. The words that followed the quiet after a short while weren’t any better. Scared. It was an emotion that he rarely felt, if at all. It had been a long time for him. Even when he told Hazel how he felt about her the Christmas before he hadn’t been scared. Scared was for people who had something to lose that was worth anything to them, he supposed, and he only had something to gain. He didn’t know how to comfort her or if he should try doing at all, so he simply looked aside to her and said nothing. There was nothing he could say, realistically, to make it any better. He had already made it worse by telling her to be cautious, so the best thing he could do for Emerson now was to be quiet until he had something useful to say.

The odds of him being right or wrong, regardless of the situation, were never fifty-fifty. The odds were definitely not in Emerson’s favour here. It was also another thing very unhelpful to say. “This can’t be quite so bad, then,” he replied with a hint of a smile on his lips. Either easy or it working out the way Emerson wanted it to didn’t seem to be in the cards.

The question she asked him taught him off guard. He looked away from her, studying the view in front of them, as he pondered it. Happiness was overrated, he always thought, but perhaps he thought that because the concept was so foreign to him. “Happiness -“ he started and then paused. “I’m wondering in what situation duty and honour is more important than happiness and when they find each other. I don’t think they often to.” It was an answer as vague as ever, but it was what Emerson would have to do with that day.

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Henry.

The Lestrange’s manor was the last place Henry wanted to be. He had Quidditch practice as his planned excuse — Something about his needing extra practice despite shining as the keeper. Truly any sort of excuse would have fitted by any and all attempts at avoiding the place was stopped by Isla asking if he was planning on going.

Henry agreed way too quickly but he had yet to have a reason to regret it. Dressing up and feeling ready to risk showing his affection toward her outside of their homes was thrilling. He had left her side to grab them drinks. Nothing alcoholic since Henry was stubborn about not drinking. He couldn’t afford being under the influence of anything when with the pureblood community. The consequences were too dire and he might accidentally slip up. It also made people watching more interesting. His favorite pastime was easily judging the others from afar.

His footsteps came to a stop when he neared Rodolphus, a smile gracing his lips before he cleared his throat. “I don’t need a drink but I do appreciate the sentiment,” He chuckled and shrugged. “Congratulations though. You have thrown a magnificent party.”

Rodolphus plan for the evening after speaking to Regulus was fairly simple: with the exception of Narcissa (and his own wife, obviously) he would avoid any member of the Black family for they only annoyed him. This wasn’t the kind of place or time anyone should be annoying him, seeing that this was the anniversary party that he hosted with his wife for their anniversary. The Rosiers, most notably Evan and Isla, were of course Blacks by extension. He thought he had greeted them at the door with Bellatrix, but he had greeted many people and hadn’t been able to bring himself to care about many of them.

It wasn’t until Henry approached him that Rodolphus realized Henry must have come with Isla. He had been in doubt what to think about that when he realized it was Henry he was speaking to. The Henry that was friends with Emerson and that she admitted to liking. He also vaguely remembered her mentioning Isla (other people’s social groups did not belong to the things Rodolphus remembered for the simple reason he didn’t care). So it turned out that he was right. Of course he was. He felt bad for Emerson. “Henry,” he greeted the other man with a smile. “It doesn’t have to be alcoholic. I spent years declining whiskey and drinking water at events. Do you want a water?” It was easier to be seen drinking something than to be seen drinking nothing, after all. At least drinking implied that you were having a good enough time to stay around for a while. 

Rodolphus shot a quick around the gardens to see if he could find Emerson at first glance, which he did not. He supposed he may as well take advantage of the situation to see if his assumption about Henry and Isla was correct. “Thank you,” he said. “Most of it was Bellatrix, honestly. She really knows how to organize an event like this. It’s a real skill.” It wasn’t something others may expect Bellatrix to be good at, so he always made sure to point it out. “So who did you come here with?” he asked nonchalantly. “Or did you come alone?”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Narcissa.

Rodolphus had a way of getting her walls down, although it was not quite as easy around him as it was around someone like Rosalind. Narcissa’s guards were trained to perfection, standing tall even in the darkest of times. And this, right now, was a dark time, after all. She took a small sip of her drink, trying not to look as horrible as she felt on the inside. Narcissa still had yet to see Lucius and even though all she wanted was to avoid him, there was a part of her that needed to see his face. Maybe she would know the truth if she just saw him. Maybe she could take the horrific words his mother spoke and twist them into a lie.

She knew that Mrs. Malfoy was correct, though. Narcissa felt it in her very gut. 

Although not shocked by Bellatrix’s lack of letting Rodolphus in, she had not quite know how bad her sister felt. Her frown deepened and she took more alcohol from another tray as Rodolphus finished describing Bella’s mood. “Well, I do hope that my mother is not torturing her again,” she said, shaking her head. “She is too hard on her. Bellatrix is merely Bellatrix. Controlling her is useless and ridiculous.” 

Narcissa drained about half of her new glass when he asked which they should do, she eyed him, taking a deep breath and lowering her voice. “I am… not. Alright,” she admitted, although stuttering through the sentence as if she were grinding steel through a muggle machine. She closed her eyes for a second. “It does not matter much why I am not alright, though, and I, personally, would much rather help you than focus on my dreary problems. Would you rather go into the study?” She eyed him curiously.  

Rodolphus tried paying attention to the few people he genuinely cared for, and short though that list may be, Narcissa had been on it for quite some time now. What it meant for now was that he noticed the way her eyes moved to scan the crowd every now and then, as though looking for someone. Bellatrix, perhaps, or Regulus. Rodolphus also hadn’t seen Lucius yet, but considering their work from the night before that was hardly surprising. Perhaps Lucius’ mission had ran later than his own. He also noticed the way she kept drinking, as he was certain she just took her second glass of alcohol since the start of their conversation, mere minutes ago. Disturbingly, those were cues that he recognized from himself. He could barely refrain from rolling his eyes at Narcissa’s words - not because of her, but because of what they implied. Rodolphus knew about Bellatrix’ issues with her mother but he had no sympathy for her right now. He was not the kind of person that used annoyance for everyone to see, though. “I feel like perhaps Bellatrix should try to control herself every now and then,“ he said. “It would be good for both herself and society at large.“ But Merlin knew that Bellatrix just did whatever she pleased and didn’t think about the consequences for anyone else when she was at it, so hoping for control of any kind would be useless.

It seemed to him that Narcissa was so unused to admitting weakness that she could barely get the words out. He looked at her with what he guessed was a concerned face expression and hoped that no one else would interpret it as such; this conversation was none of anyone else’s business. “Neither am I,“ he said softly. Giving her honesty in return was only fair. Should they go elsewhere to talk this through? Rodolphus thought about it briefly as he shot a look around the room as well. He should be thinking about what people would think if he sneaked off with his sister in law, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “That’s probably for the best,“ he agreed. “Lead the way?“ As they walked, he added: “I highly doubt your problems are dreary or any more important than mine. If you want to talk about it, I’d be happy to listen and try to help.“

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Hazel.

Hazel frowned thoughtfully when Rodolphus said she was clever. It didn’t ring true to her. Her whole life she had been told that she was pretty and obedient and nice. But clever? She wasn’t aware that anyone paid any attention to her mind or how she thought.

“You might be the very first person ever to say so,” she said. “I took more classes, though I did not sit the exams. I never had much interest in exams, and there did not  seem to be much point in taking them,” she explained. “Though if I had to pick one Care of Magical Creatures was always enjoyable.”

“Astronomy and arithmancy. One might wonder if you were not attempting to divine the future,” she teased. And of course, if he did, he chose the two subjects that were far more scientific in nature than divination. 

When Rodolphus stopped walking Hazel stopped beside him. She itched to explore the shelves, but she wasn’t sure if such an action would be welcomed. She smiled, a faint blush rising to her cheeks at his compliment. “I am glad. I have enjoyed spending time with you.”

She wasn’t entirely sure how best to answer his question. In one sense, the answer was easy. She enjoyed his company and his friendship. But in another she knew the answer was not so simple. She would have to be blind not to see how handsome he was, and his smile always sent flutters through her stomach. She worried at her lower lip with her teeth. She hoped he wanted to be friends at least.

“Yes, of course we are. Do you not think so?”

When Hazel frowned, as though in wonder about his remark about her being clever, it was confirmed for Rodolphus that he had sounded like he was trying to flatter her. Of course it was. Anyone else would have, he supposed. He felt compelled to explain. “I thought you were going to say that,” he said with a light smile. “I said clever because you see the world around us very differently than I do. You make me see differently, which is quite difficult to accomplish. I find you intriguing, which is why I think you’re clever.” He was someone easily stuck in a thought pattern and a belief system. He was a rather black and white thinker unless he needed to think outside of the box for work. She made him think outside of the box, too. She made him see possibility where formerly there was none. His lips curled up briefly at the mention of Magical Creatures. He had never taken that subject, found it boring at best when someone else talked about it. It proved to him that the two of them were very different. “Well, it would have been nice to know what the future would hold,” he said. “It would make planning for the future, as well as decision making, a lot easier. Wouldn’t you like to know what your future holds? If it’ll be everything you wished for?”

When Hazel blushed, his fingertips were itching to reach out and touch, feel the warmth of her skin against his fingertips. To suppress any such urge he put his hands behind his back and folded them over each other, straightening his shoulders. He knew he had some explaining to do, waiting for an explanation in return, and then he would know. The way she was looking at him felt at odds with the words that she spoke, as though she was thinking something differently than from what she was saying, which encouraged Rodolphus to reply the way he wanted to instead of the way he should. “Hazel, I don’t want to be friends with you,“ he admitted. It felt strange having said it aloud. “I like you too much to just want to be friends. You’re kind and sweet and pretty, as I’m sure you’ve been told plenty of times, but you’re so much more than that. I know how this sounds, believe me, but I just thought you should know.”

[unspeakableisms-blog]

Regulus.

Regulus flashed the older male a polite smile. Both of his cousins deserved better in his opinion. He’d never quite found himself taken with Rodolphus and was more than a little surprised their marriage had lasted this long (his cousin could be a handful, even Regulus was aware of this fact).

“Don’t mind if I do,” the boy murmured, accepting a drink offered to him by a house elf. Cool gray eyes fixed on Rodolphus’ face as he took a careful sip. He had no intention of extending any sort of congratulatory remark. That wasn’t to say he hadn’t thought about it, it would be the proper thing to do, but he found himself having to bite back a snide remark. The only congratulations Rodolphus deserved was having the honor of being the lesser half to Bellatrix. Perhaps he’d congratulate his cousin later for not succumbing to her husband’s idiocy.

In the end, Regulus gave in to proper manners, allowing his gracious smile to linger on his lips, “Congratulations, Rodolphus,” the boy finally remarked, the glass in his hand rising with a small toast to their relationship. 

He cast a gaze upward before commenting, “The weather’s nice,” Give him anyone to come and distract Rodolphus from him (except maybe Lucius), please. He’d even settle for Rosalind. At the very least, small talk was needed in order to appear polite. Regulus was already calculating just how long he’d have to remain engaged with the male — at least with the party being in his name Regulus could bow out with an instance that others wished to speak to Rodolphus (why they did was beyond him).

“Does she plan on keeping you another year?” Regulus teased him. Though his remark sounded almost jovial, inside, he felt the true ill will behind it.

To say that Rodolphus wasn’t great at reading people or understanding their angles was understating the matter, but he was learning. Interestingly, his learning curve had started with the Black family. Ever since Bellatrix’ betrayal (and he couldn’t put the blame on Rabastan completely, unfortunately, because his little brother was blood) Rodolphus started to pay closer attention to every Black family member and came to the conclusion that not one of them really liked him. There was one exception: Narcissa. She was always smiling and always happy (or always pleased, like Lucius said) but Rodolphus believed she was genuine. Bellatrix was filled with fire no matter the situation, something he was long used to. With Andromeda and Sirius gone that left Regulus, who Rodolphus always thought felt like he was too good for everyone. But in the contrary to most others Regulus Black had contributed absolutely nothing to society or his family name so far, other than simply exist. “Thank you, Regulus,” Rodolphus simply said, a brief smile on his face before it disappeared. “I really appreciate that. And so will Bellatrix, I have no doubt. She’ll be very pleased that you decided to attend.” It wasn’t like Regulus had much of a choice, seeing how close he was to Bellatrix, but Rodolphus wanted to have it said anyway. He scanned the crowd as he considered whether or not to have a drink himself. Perhaps one to take the edge off would do. it was going to be a long evening and if the way Regulus was looking at him was anything to go by he did better dodging any other of the Black family members. Did he really have to remind them it was Bellatrix’ choice to marry him? Or that Rodolphus had a high-profile Ministry job that brought a lot of prestige? He may have done that a couple of years ago, but he was beyond the point of caring now. He knew better, and that was all that mattered to him. “The weather is lovely,” he agreed with a light smile. “It’s nice to be able to host the soiree in the gardens.” It seemed that both of them were only trying to come across polite, which was why Rodolphus frowned at Regulus when he asked very playfully if Bellatrix intended to keep him for another year. The question that should be asked was if he intended to keep Bellatrix for another year. He hadn’t made up his mind yet. He simply smiled again. “Perhaps you should ask her that,” he joked. “The verdict isn’t out yet, I believe. But she seems very happy with me, so I think I’ll stand a chance to be with her for another year.” Now Regulus was giving him ideas. Rodolphus Lestrange leaving his wife may just be the scandal the Black family couldn’t handle if what was going on between Lucius and Narcissa was anything to go by, judging by how Lucius and Narcissa both came across at Litha. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, Regulus.” Not that the other man would know anything about that. “It’s quite nice to be able to count on someone like that. It’s choosing to start a family with another person.”