upsetapplecart
upsetapplecart
King Midas, but with salt & vinegar.
11K posts
As super powers go, it's not a big ask.
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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T’Challa after drinking that stuff that takes away his Black Panther powers
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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people who wear cat ears in public are braver than any u.s. marine
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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Кажется на мою кровать легла черная дыра и замурчала …
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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So in russian, nouns are either animate or inanimate gramatically, depending on whether they move.
Well, the russian word for corpse, мертвец, is animate, which raises quite a few terrifying questions about russia’s past
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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Ready Player One (2018)
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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does anybody else find the phrase “as we speak” slightly menacing? like someone could come up to me and be like karen is dropping off her 6 kids at soccer practice and exchanging brownie recipes with linda from the country club as we speak and I’d start sweating and be like shit karen’s not fucking around
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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every lactose intolerant person ive ever met: i mean TECHNICALLY im lactose intolerant but [goes on to justify the fact that theyre about to eat a dairy product]
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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Note to self
Stop thinking: “I’m not talented enough to execute this concept.” Start thinking: “I’m going to be a stronger artist when I’ve finished this piece.”
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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spring is apparently gonna take ages to come this year. but I’m glad that Persephone is getting laid for a bit longer.
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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the first five emotes on your recently used emojis describe you as a person ready set go
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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“Inappropriate student-teacher relationship” doesn’t always mean something sexual. My high school art teacher’s drug dealer was one of her own students, and you better believe he got straight As in that class - like, what are you going to do, give your weed man a B- because he doesn’t understand pointilism?
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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When my Mum was pregnant with me she was in the pub and this random creepy elderly woman that nobody ever saw before or since told her that she was going to have a boy and when I was born everyone was like “the creepy lady was wrong” but it turned out I’m trans and THE PUB WITCH WAS RIGHT!
I WAS FORETOLD BY THE PUB WITCH
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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What people think writing is like: careful planning and thought out plotlines
What writing is actually like: being possessed by an idea that you are constantly arguing with
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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Someday archeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think that it was some type of bizarre mouse worshipping kingdom.
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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How did I wake up in the middle of the night with the funniest tweet idea and it was this
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upsetapplecart · 6 years ago
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too many songs about love. not enough songs about sword fights
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