upstatestuck

[upstatestuck]

You’ve become more trouble than you’re worth. I thought I was irreplaceable….

[upstatestuck]

You can’t fix anyone, you can only make them as uncomfortable as possible to force them to change themselves. So thanks for not stopping the downward spiral I was on.

[upstatestuck]

If you don’t have you, nobody can have you. #hindsight

[upstatestuck]

“Be careful who you make memories with. Those things can last a lifetime.”

— Ugo Eze

[upstatestuck]

I feel like reaching out, but I won’t.

Because I already know how that story ends.

It ends with me hurting again, doubting myself again, feeling small again.

Right now, my brain is lying to me. It’s saying:

“Just one more message won’t hurt.”

“Maybe this time will be different.”

“I can’t take this pain.”

But the truth is:

I’ve already lived that loop. Over and over.

I know it doesn’t end in peace.

I know it doesn’t bring healing.

This feeling — this urge — is a wound reopening, not a sign to go back.

I’m detoxing from a connection that made me sick, made me small, made me feel unworthy.

The pain I feel now?

It’s the price of freedom, not failure.

It’s the ache of growth, not weakness.

I don’t need her to feel whole.

I don’t need her to survive.

I am building something better.

I’m reclaiming my life, my voice, my future.

Let this wave pass.

I’ve made it through worse.

And I won’t abandon myself again — not for anyone.

[upstatestuck]

You’re not #evil.

You’re not #broken.

You’re a person who adapted to pain.

[upstatestuck]

I didn’t choose to be born in a country collapsing under its own weight.

But I do choose how I respond to it.

I reject rage.

I reject despair.

I choose clarity. I choose dignity.

Public transit here is broken.

Infrastructure is crumbling.

Everything feels rigged for profit, not for people.

That’s not my fault — and it won’t define my character.

I won’t be ashamed of taking the bus.

I won’t be ashamed of living simply.

I won’t be ashamed of caring.

Shame belongs to those who created this mess.

I prepare.

I adapt.

I stay calm.

And I help where I can.

That’s resistance. That’s Stoicism in action.

The empire may decay.

But I will not.

“Waste no more time arguing what a good person should be. Be one.”

— Marcus Aurelius

[upstatestuck]

Somewhere along the way, I learned what love really looked like. It wasn't loud or perfect, but it stayed with me. Now I sit with the silence, not because I want to—but because I know I can't offer that kind of love until I stop bleeding on people who didn’t cut me. Healing isn’t noble, it’s necessary. #alone #nomorebleeding

[upstatestuck]

Be better.

[upstatestuck]

I miss what I had but not who I was.

#growthhurts

[upstatestuck]

“Nobody can save you but yourself—and you’re worth saving. It’s a war not easily won, but if anything is worth winning—this is it.”

— Charles Bukowski

[upstatestuck]

[upstatestuck]

Laws of Self-respect

1. Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you or makes you happy.

2. Do not lower your standards for anyone or anything.

3. Self-respect has to be stronger than your feelings.

4. Respect yourself enough to let go of someone who does not see your worth. Refuse to be disrespected.

5. Openly communicate about things that are important to you.

6. Say "no" to things, people, and situations that are not in alignment with you. Always respect your own choices.

7. Maintain the promises you have made yourself.

8. Never chase love or admiration - first, give it to yourself.

[upstatestuck]

I lost a part of me and it’s never coming back.

[upstatestuck]

The sun is starting to shine brightly in my world! I've seen a few glimpses of it through the darkness before but this time it's real! #justkeepswiming

[upstatestuck]

When you are offended at any man´s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.

Epictetus (via justwatchmyeyes)

[upstatestuck]

I'm tired of fighting both our demons and you aren't even trying to put a fight up with your own.