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[urdamage]

✧ akito + jane

From the very beginning of their interaction, Jane’s nerves have been extremely high. This is something that she wants to do, something that she is completely sure of, having thought it through, but the nerves over the actual process of having a needle dragged through her skin is terrifying. She’s never done something like this before, and while Akito has a gentleness to them that calms Jane and reassures her that she’s going to be okay, the adrenaline has still already been released, and the nerves won’t leave her completely, she’s sure of it. She wants this, and so she takes on the nerves with hopes of the reward being far greater than them. She squeezes her eyes shut as Akito begins to draw the line through her skin. It hurts, as to be expected, but it’s her nerves that prove to be the worst thing in the moment - it’s far from an agonising pain. She opens her eyes as he questions her, ignoring the slight lightheadedness that she begins to feel. “It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it might,” she tells him, feeling hopeful despite the shakes that begin to come on.

               akito was used to encountering a few different types of clients , and while jane was unique and different in such a brilliant way - upon akito’s first impression , at least - he saw enough to be able to assign her to the nervous client category of his mental assortment . it certainly wasn’t a bad thing , in fact , with someone like jane , it was probably for the best that akito was watching out for strong nerves making things go south . despite those thoughts in the back of their mind , however , as akito finished up the first line and heard jane’s response , their worries started to fade . while akito believed that the physical side of getting tattoos were hardly anything to worry about - as long as you were properly prepared and tattooed by a proper artist - he knew it was extremely intense for some people ; at jane’s reaction , he began to genuinely believe that she’d be physically able to get through the entire tattoo with no worries at all . “ right ? it’s pretty easy - i mean , compared to what the fear can make you think it’s gonna be like , ” he chuckled . “ you ready to keep going ? ” he asked , enthusiastic though trying to remain impartial also to ensure he wasn’t pressuring her into continuing onwards .

[urdamage]

✧ bo + marina

it was so nice to see bo laughing and joking again. marina had always regarded bo as one of the most cheerful, entertaining people in all of shrike heights, so it had been a really tough time watching him acting quite the opposite over the past year. marina understood exactly why bo hadn’t been able to keep up a positive and playful act, but even with the understanding it had been so hard; he hadn’t deserved to have the joy ripped away from him, and while marina didn’t expect him to be better yet, it was nice to see him have a moment of joy at least. “validity?” marina noticed the uncharacteristic vocabulary, too, and was completely amused by it. before she could comment any more on it, bo was telling her all about the finest med school in the entire country, and she couldn’t think of a timely response due to the laughter that she shared with him. “alright, alright, i’ll stop questioning them, i’ll just trust you- against my better judgement,” she laughed longer. it was likely that marina would normally make a joke about feeling sick over bo’s sappiness and love for his partner, but it was hard for her to feel jealous when she was genuinely happy that her good friend was in such a better place now. she smiled, sincerity beaming across the room to bo, but she didn’t comment on the love, not sure what to say when she didn’t yet have it for herself. “you wouldn’t be bo without being able to juggle both things, spending time in and having adventures out here, too,” she concluded.

               they had both been through enough hardships - having gone through very different things , but hardships nonetheless . it was a nice sound to bo , too , to be laughing , and to have the company of a good friend who joked around and laughed along with him . no matter how hard life got , bo stayed appreciative of those he had in his life ; without them , bo knew that he never would have made it - not only through the attack , but throughout the hardships he faced before the killers were in town , too . “ sorry , ” he began , a smirk on his face . “ do you not know what validity means ? ” he asked her ; of course , he knew that marina was far more intelligent than he was himself , but that was exactly why he took the opportunity to make the joke . “ hey ! ” he laughed . “ when have i ever proven myself not worthy of your trust ? when have i ever proven to be distrustworthy - distrustworthy ? that’s a word , right ? ” while it made sense , it simply sounded wrong , so bo couldn’t be sure . it made him feel good to know what marina thought of him , that she saw him as someone who characteristically spent time in and had adventures ; the description made him feel healthy , balanced . a wide smile spread across his pink face . “ thanks , yeah , ” he nodded . “ i try my best , ” he shrugged .

[urdamage]

[urdamage]

jovie's mind was all over the place , yet at the same time she was in her own world entirely ; it was just one of those days , a day filled with introspection and contemplation . now that the hot weather was gone for the most part , jovie felt as though she could finally think , her brain no longer melted by the summer sun . naturally , as most shrike residents would have experienced over the past couple of years , her thoughts quickly transpired into those of the attacks ; with so much brutality in mind , of course her outward expression caught dolly's attention and caused worry . unlike others in town , jovie wasn't sure that she could ever feel confident that the attacks had come to an end , and she wasn't yet ready to let her guard down , not when she had so much to protect in shrike ...

jovie had experienced kindness before , of course she had , but she had also experienced her fair share of mistreatment , too . she was guarded , mistrusting to a certain extent , at least enough to be taken aback by dolly's kind offer . " huh ? " looking at the woman , jovie didn't believe that dolly had any bad intentions , but she still found the kindness odd in its random form . " i uh ... really ? "

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* dolly feat. shrike

located at a park downtown. this is an open starter for @shrikestart

the weight on dolly's shoulders was no longer so heavy, no longer so extreme, so intense, difficult to live with. so much time had passed since the last attack had happened, and while dolly and her loved ones - along with all of the other affected shrike residents - were still dealing with the effects of all previous attacks, dolly felt like she could finally breathe again. the fresh fall air was particularly nice to breathe as dolly walked through the park, a woven wood basket in hand, contents protected by a yellow gingham tea towel. while summer was at the top of dolly's lists of favourite season, fall had always been an easy second.

despite the weight having lessened, however, dolly's heart hadn't yet returned from the heavy state it had been put into at the beginning of the attacks those two years ago. while the woman had moments of ease, moments of clarity, moments of pure joy, she often found the heartache returning, much like she did as she crunched through the fallen leaves of early autumn and spotted an individual who looked especially downtrodden. dolly had always been a sensitive and loving person; acting as she would have even before the attacks - and especially after them now - dolly stepped towards the other, first offering them a friendly smile. "hello," she spoke softly yet warmly. "can i offer you a muffin? they're fresh out of the oven, i just baked them," the offer wasn't much, but perhaps it could be enough to see even a brief smile on the other's face.

[urdamage]

✧ bo + ian

“I love you more than anything,” Ian promised his partner after the sweet words were directed towards him yet again. It was easy for him to gush about his love for Bo during times like this. Any moment could be made intimate between the two of them when they were alone and Ian loved sharing those sacred words with his partner whenever the moment arose which was quite often as of late. Ian leaned into his partner’s embrace. To be held by Bo made an already good day that much better and it really didn’t matter to Ian what they got up to the rest of the day. Knowing Bo he wouldn’t be asking for much more on his birthday if he was anything like himself in the past birthdays they’d shared together. Bo never asked for much and even went so far as to not want much for his special day and even though Ian was different from his partner when it came to his own birthday he was more than willing to give Bo a lowkey celebration. As long as Bo was happy, that was all Ian cared about and if that was just cuddling away the rest of the day so be it. 

♡ end of thread ♡

[urdamage]

✧ bo + topher

“well of course you still worry,” topher felt bad, being able to see on bo’s face guilt, like he hadn’t been doing everything right for his partner the entire time ian had needed him for. “you’re a dedicated guy, bobby,” topher knew that not only as a friend of bo’s, but as someone who had been in a similar position to ian before, too - excluding the brutal attack from serial killers, obviously. “it might be the medication, but the medication works how it does for a reason, you know? it’s letting him get the rest he needs,” topher didn’t know everything about the topic, and he wasn’t sure on how much he should be saying to bo regardless, but he knew enough and he wanted to say enough to hopefully bring bo some peace of mind. “you’re taking good care of him, he won’t be like this forever,” he reminded his friend.

topher was already embarrassed, but the feeling grew tenfold when bo told him that he hadn’t been talking about the moment that topher assumed he had been. it was awful, that he had brought it up on his own accord so foolishly, but topher didn’t feel so bad as he saw how amused bo was over what he had done. in one of the worst times of bo’s life, to get him to laugh and to smile felt like a magnificent feat, even if it was at topher’s expense. “sorry,” topher shook his head, laughing. “shut up,” he laughed louder when bo pointed out that it was the same table, and that he wore the same blush. “i only thought, like, that’s the most memorable ‘that one time’ that we shared here, so like, i thought it was what you were talking about,” topher covered his face with his hands for a moment before pulling his hands back down in order to look at bo. “you forgot about it?” topher wasn’t offended, only surprised that someone could forget about a moment like that. “i haven’t forgotten,” he chuckled, supposing it was much easier to remember when bo was topher’s only sexual partner. “how do you do it?” he asked. “like, how can you just be so chill with someone who knows way too much?” 

               everything topher said was completely right , though while it allowed bo to remember why he had been so fond of the man for so long - fond enough for them to have been in a relationship all of those years ago , of course - it unfortunately wasn’t able to truly ease bo’s mind and rid him of his worries . in all honesty , there was nothing that could get bo to stop worrying about his current partner , though topher was right in pointing out that that was to be expected , considering how dedicated bo was to ian , and considering how much bo loved the man . perhaps in a different , much better situation , bo would have felt good about displaying traits of loyalty , dedication , and love . “ i suppose you’re right , ” bo said meekly , nodding . ian wouldn’t be like that forever , bo had even seen improvement already , but that made it no easier to get through the hard time . “ sorry , ” he knew that he didn’t need to apologise , but even while bo hadn’t ever been a very apologetic person , it was the only thing that felt right to express in the moment . “ thank you , ” he added with an equal exhausted meekness . 

“ don’t you apologise , ” bo reassured him , and it felt so wholeheartedly good to find amusement during such a horrific time . of course , bo’s heart still ached , broken , mending slowly - to perhaps never return to it’s original state - but topher’s embarrassment rewarded bo with a lighter feeling that he hadn’t felt in quite some time . “ you’re totally right , too , that’s totally the most memorable time we’ve shared here , ” he understood where topher’s mind had been , and why , assuming that in such a small town news of topher being intimate with anyone else would have spread and reached him by now . “ honestly , yeah , ” he nodded his head , and he even chuckled a bit , thinking about how part of his reasoning was probably because it hadn’t been the only time he had been completely depraved in the wrong setting . “ oh , ” topher’s question caught him off guard , but it wasn’t a bad thing - honestly , to get bo thinking about something other than ian’s condition was arguably a very good thing indeed . after a moment of thinking about an actual answer , bo spoke up again . “ i guess i just find it easy because it’s a lot better than to like , not be cared about . take us ; we’re not together anymore , you know way more than just a friend should , but i don’t feel awkward about you knowing it all ‘cause it reminds me of how much you cared about me back then , and - well i’d like to believe that you having that dirt on me but not doing anything stupid with it also means that you still really care about me - just in a different way , of course . ”

[urdamage]

" i understand , " desi nodded his head at diego's clarification ; while he didn't know exactly what the other man filled his busy days with , desi didn't need the specifics to be able to understand him . shrike heights had once been a sleepy town , but now it seemed that it was instead sleepless . desi didn't think that he could name a single person that he was close to in this town that wasn't exhausted , their schedules more intense than ever , even if the only thing penned into their days was to make it through to the next one . desi found it so interesting , the more that he thought about diego and the way he was handling the aftermath of what desi knew at the very least from an outsider's perspective was a terrible trauma ; it got desi thinking about the different ways that different people handled the events - whether or not it made them more or less likely to hide away , inside , safe - and the complete truth was that it had desi worrying more than ever . if diego was spending more time outside of his home now - not that desi really knew the details of his current arrangement - how was desi meant to keep him safe ? along with all of the other people he cared for who took a similar approach , of course . while it was a great worry , and a great weight , desi didn't speak the concern out loud .

as a mess made by a child at the arcade was hardly the worst kind desi had seen in the mall through his time working there , he couldn't find himself feeling too bad about diego's situation there . perhaps it was a good thing ; at the very least , it reminded desi that the children of shrike heights weren't completely affected by the horrors that inflicted their town , and that was always a good thing . it was incredibly hard to focus on the positives - to even find the positives , in fact - but desi tried his best . " i absolutely understand , " he nodded , the ' absolutely ' thrown into the statement in order to avoid sounding like a broken record . " i don't know where i'd go either , to be honest , " he thought out loud . " a lot of the other places in the mall are filled with kids - not to make myself sound like too much of an old man , " he chuckled . " but this place is filled with the same people who've been here since it opened , so it's definitely more comfortable not only because i have people to talk to who're past their twenties , but because i've known a lot of them since i got here , " it wasn't anything diego didn't already know , but it was a nice thought to share regardless , the fact that they had this place of comfort through such a trying time .

A small, tired smile made its way onto Diego's face for a moment, "That's good to hear." Alright was probably the best anyone could hope for anyone else in Shrike Heights these days with all that hung over all the residents of the small town. Naturally that wasn't a thought he wanted to dwell on any more than he had to, so he didn't and continued carrying on the conversation. "I think could stand to spend a little more time at my place. Not that I spend an excessive amount of time here. Just been busier lately." He clarified. And it was the truth, the way he phrased it made it sound less self-imposed than it really was though. "But I get it." Some people seemed to shut in on themselves and go out less following an attack, so it was generally a step in the right direction when they fell back into their usual routines and that's what he assumed the other meant. It was a little funny that Diego of all people had taken an opposite approach and was found outside his place more than he had been previously.

He took a drink and shrugged his shoulders, "It happens. I can't say it's that out of the ordinary anyway." The arcade was usually crawling with kids, despite everything that happened at the mall, so messes were inevitable. Like plenty of things, it was what it was. He nodded along to what Desi said. Although he wasn't particularly attached to the bar, it just happened to be the most tolerable place in town to get a drink in his opinion despite its unfortunate location, Diego could still understand the comfort found in at least one thing remaining the same while everything else seemed to be in a constant state of change. "I kind of doubt it will ever change at this point." He commented, unsure if anything that remained unchanged throughout everything in the last couple years was even capable of change. "Which is probably for the best. I can't really picture myself going elsewhere if things did drastically change here." And the thought of having to find yet another way to occupy his time sounded exhausting.

[urdamage]

✧ bo + ian

Ian didn’t feel incredible. He felt subpar really in the grand scheme of things. Even though Bo’s birthday was a sore subject for the man Ian had always done more for his partner than he had this year. Ian wished that he’d been able to go all out or at the very least go out and get Bo a proper present. With the mall in town it really felt silly that he’d given him a handmade gift when buying Bo something he’d really want was so easily at Ian’s fingertips that is if Ian could stomach going to the mall. He was still fearful of the place and that was why Ian had settled for the handmade birthday for Bo. Fortunately Bo didn’t show any signs in disliking what Ian did so he was able to bottle up the insecure feelings he felt around wishing he’d done more. Whether Bo liked it or not the day was all about him and Ian was making sure to keep that true today. “Hopefully I poked enough holes so that it’d be useful. I know you like to use a lot of colors,” Ian went on. After all it took a rainbow to celebrate Bo and that was certainly reflected in his art. Ian wasn’t ashamed that they had sex so early in the day. He’d take Bo whenever he wanted him especially on his birthday. “Hey, it’s your day. You can have me whenever you want,” Ian promised him. With it being so early in the day it wasn’t out of the question that Ian might have another round in him later in the day if the mood struck again. “I just want the best guy ever to have the best day ever,” he insisted as he remained close to Bo’s side. Whatever made Bo happy would be their plan today and everyday if Ian had any say in the matter. Making Bo feel good and appreciated was Ian’s main directive when it came to being Bo’s partner and Ian hoped that was felt by Bo on all occasions. 

               bo’s comment wasn’t only a compliment for the sake of complimenting his partner - he meant it so wholeheartedly ; ian was incredible , he always had been , and he had truly outdone himself on this birthday of bo’s . having grown up a true turner , with access to plentiful funds , bo didn’t think a whole lot of material objects . of course , they were still greatly appreciated , and desired even , but something like a hand made gift held even more importance and specialness than a store bought gift could ever . to know that ian had gone out of his way to not only hand craft something , but to hand craft a piece of art that would greatly benefit bo’s own art - it meant more than only so much to bo . bo didn’t have the vocabulary to tell ian how special he was , but he was dedicated to the cause , and knew he would try every day until the end of their lives . “ it looks perfect , honest , baby , ” he nodded his head enthusiastically , already foreseeing himself using the pencil holder with great success . “ thanks , baby , ” he laughed , a slightly bashful laugh , not because he necessarily felt bashful , though . “ it’s always the best day when i’m with you , iv , ” he vowed ; while that had definitely been tested in recent times , particularly throughout the roughest moments of ian’s recovery , bo still believed it to be completely true . “ i just love you so much , ” he told him sincerely , moving to the side so that he could wrap his arms around ian’s shoulder’s properly , nuzzling his face into the man’s dark hair as he squeezed him gently . 

[urdamage]

if akito hadn't allowed life to take its course , to put it simply , there would be no more akito in this life . it was still something that akito struggled with , as he was sure everyone else did , also , but it was something that he had actively worked on throughout his life because he had no other choice . akito had to be there for momoko , and to work through anxieties and fear of a lack of control made him a better version of akito for the little noguchi sibling . akito had been envious once , too - hell , he still was at times - but danny's thoughts of akito ( not that akito would ever know them ) was proof that his hard work had paid off at least a small amount .

" i think so , i think so , " akito nodded their head as they continued to go through the pile of decks danny had presented them . " i'm thinking a full board , just in case , you know ? i don't expect her to use it a whole lot , but like , it'd be cool for her to have the option , " akito had multiple boards , more than enough to share with his sister , but still , he thought it might be special for momoko to have her very own . " i suppose i don't need to worry about anything other than the deck right now , though . i've got time to both paint something and come back later for the rest of the pieces , you know ? " he thought out loud .

Danny didn't say it, but he appreciated the mindset Akito expressed. There was a certain openness and patience in it; they didn't need inspiration immediately or try to force their muse to move in a certain direction. While he acted aloof and unbothered, Danny panicked when faced with something he couldn't control. It made for an anxious existence, and he found himself (passively) envious of people like Akito who allowed life to take its course.

"That's good," Danny commented lamely, keeping his opinions to himself. He didn't like thinking about how he self-sabotaged or how different his life could be if he was just... not himself. So he brushed it aside and pushed forward, ignoring any sentiment he felt in favor of the more impersonal, unaffected side of things. "So any of these fit your... vision or whatever?" He asked, coming off more dismissive than intended as he gestured to the pile. "Are you tryna give her the full board, or are you keeping it to the deck?"

[urdamage]

junior was arguably hyper invested in the social groups back at school , but it had come from a place of survival . when he first arrived in the country , speaking not a lick of english , shocked by the differences in their cultures , struggling to catch up with how his life was moving so swiftly and intensely , he had been met with even more trouble from his peers than he could have ever expected . the bullying had been bad , and even when it had slowed down after he became less of a novelty , learning english slowly , and retreating to his introversion to avoid reminding the others of how much they enjoyed taunting him , junior had been faced with additional traumas in life that left him more paranoid and afraid than ever . even when the douchebags that roamed the high school corridors became as close to as non-issue as possible , junior still worked to avoid them as much as possible .

he had always appreciated that tj was different , a genuinely good person , in junior's opinion , and he appreciated there at the cinema how tj validated junior's feelings for those in his mother's class - even while junior hadn't shared the most information and reasoning for it . " i appreciate it , " he laughed softly , not laughing at tj's self depreciation in a way that implied he agreed , but more just laughing at the humorous side of tj having made such a comment - it was all in good fun , in good spirits . junior wasn't sure that he would take up tj's offer , being a person with so much trauma endured because of his own parents , now having a complicated relationship with anyone's parents in a context in which they were obviously parents , but perhaps it would be something that he'd pursue in the future and find to greatly benefit from . either way , junior simply appreciated having tj in his life to suggest such possibilities ; perhaps junior had been wrong to put so much distance between them when his juvenile heart had been broken over tj voicing his crush on another .

tj wasn't known for his wisdom , indeed , and in a weird way that made junior feel better about being misunderstood . typically when junior was misunderstood , it would cause the man to feel great shame - stemming from the aforementioned trouble he had upon moving to the country - but with tj , junior didn't overthink it to that extent . " perfect , " he laughed along with tj's laughter , finding it to be contagious . " films are always better when watched with others , too , even though i enjoy them alone as well , " perhaps it was just that junior enjoyed the comfort of certain company when doing anything , not only watching a film . " tell me , are you someone who's going to shush me if i try to speak during it ? or are you a movie-talker ? " he questioned . it wasn't that junior would chat throughout the whole film - junior wasn't an overly chatty person in general , as tj would already know - but he wanted to be sure that they were on the same wavelength , and that junior wouldn't find himself in any trouble throughout the event .

TJ nodded, understanding Junior's comments about their former classmates. TJ hadn't ever really been invested in the social groups at school; he'd been too focused on his training to do much else. But because of his athletic pursuits, and especially because he was good at them, he often found himself in the more popular group of students. There were some genuine friends of his in the group, of course, but it was also occupied by some serious meatheads and douchebags. They weren't the type of people TJ sought out in his free time. Junior was.

"Yeah, most of them sucked," he agreed, speaking quietly as if revealing a secret. "If you ever wanna get the asshole-free version, though, I'm sure Mom would love an extra set of hands. I can help enough, but I get too antsy for her and she kicks me out." He laughed in self-deprecation.

At Junior's explanation, TJ's smile widened as he nodded vigorously. "That's exactly it. I'm totally with you. It doesn't have to be perfect for it to be worth it." He reasoned, his words sounding far wiser and contemplative than they really were. As evidenced by his cluelessness regarding Junior's joke, TJ wasn't known for his wisdom. Junior clarified that the only one that'd be joining them was his own car, and he laughed, shaking his head. "I can definitely sixth wheel it," he grinned, agreeing to follow Junior to his car. "Lead the way. I don't wanna keep her waiting."

[urdamage]

✧ hedwig + ian

“Well, if you really want to I won’t stop you,” Ian told them. Ian was desperate for new music anyways and always liked Hedwig’s taste so it would really be a win for him if he got some music from Hedwig’s collection. “Do you have anything good in the car to put on?” Ian asked before he took a drag of his cigarette. He was ready to dig through Hedwig’s glove compartment for a cassette but he didn’t want to be rude and start rifling through their stuff uninvited. 

“I’ve yet to find one myself,” Ian admitted. “But my grandma’s hardly even gone grey at her age so I don’t think it’s something I have to worry about for a while,” he explained. Ian definitely had plenty of stressors in his life as of recently but he’d yet to experience any hair changes because of them fortunately. Ian wasn’t particularly vain but he did pride himself on his hair. Even though he didn’t do much with it to maintain it he liked how luscious and and dark it was and it was one of the few style aspects of himself he cared to present. Ian didn’t care much to express himself through clothes and really his hair was the only thing he had an opinion on and wasn’t easily swayed by outside forces though his partner liked his hair as much as he did which helped. 

               hedwig was always more than happy to find an excuse to make a new mixtape , and particularly when it was for somebody that they cared for so much as that always required more effort and consideration when choosing the songs . “ it’s one of my favourite things to do , ” working at the station was a great way for hedwig to be able to rotate through the extensive collection of music that he loved , but creating a mixtape was another good excuse to play through some songs he mightn’t have otherwise . the ultimate result would be a tape that ian would hopefully love listening to , but the creative process was also beneficial to hedwig - so of course they didn’t mind , and of course they would really like to do so . “ oh yeah , i’ve got a bunch of tapes in the glove box , or else that shoe box in the back , ” he told ian . “ i’m not quite sure what’s here and what’s in my apartment , but there’ll be something you like , have a rummage around , ” he offered . 

“ that’s impressive , ” hedwig commented . he would have thought that with the stressful life ian had lived - particularly in recent years - he’d have found a grey or two by now , but it also did make sense considering his genes . “ sounds like you’ve got good genes , then , ” he thought aloud , though after only a moment he regretted the thought as it got him thinking about his own genes , so much of which were unknown , or else thoughts of people he didn’t care to have so present in his mind . with a couple of hard blinks he willed the thoughts of his biological family away . “ do you think all the product bo puts in his hair will hinder or help long term ? ” he asked , slightly poking fun at ian’s partner - something hedwig couldn’t help but do despite it not being his intention - though mostly phrasing the amusing thought as an affectionate question - because he really was happy if ian was happy with bo , he supposed , only slightly begrudgingly . 

[urdamage]

the bullies did suck , even while not being the worst kind of people - copper was right to say so - but still , they truly weren't the worst of the people that junior had dealt with in his upbringing . as strange as it might have sounded , sometimes junior couldn't even allow himself to be properly upset over the treatment he got from those bullies because he knew that he had been met with far crueller , far sicker treatment for others . junior wasn't about to unpack all that there was to still unpack about his earlier years there in the comic book store with copper around to witness , but what junior was doing was finally taking a moment to recognise what copper said as true . it wasn't nice that he had been bullied , but it was nice to have validation from one of the only people who had actively stood up for him back then .

" yeah , you're right , " he agreed quietly with a nod of his head . " you'd be surprised at how little people would do even that , " he suggested , " or surprised at how many people think the ' right ' thing to do is nothing , or something that's only completely harmful ... " it was a depressing thought , one that junior didn't linger on for too long . all he wanted to do was reiterate that copper was a good person , and that he should see himself as such considering how admirable his behaviour was for junior at a time where almost no one would have done the same for him . " when you've been met with so much of the opposite kind of behaviour , of course a kind person would really mean so much to me , " junior told him , happy to let copper think that the only kind of opposite behaviour that he had dealt with was the bullying , and not the more sinister traumas from earlier in his life .

" i believe that , " junior told him . even while it indeed might have appeared like copper was a more open , more functioning person than junior himself , junior knew the complexity of human beings well enough to not doubt for a second that copper too had secrets he kept well hidden . " it is scary , " he agreed with a chuckle , though things immediately felt a little easier with such explicit honesty shared between them - something that carried on to the next part of their exchange . " you're making perfect sense , " he laughed along with copper , shaking his head and finding the other man to be completely endearing . " i'd like that , i'd really like that , " he nodded his head . junior wasn't any more experienced with being straight forward than he was with flirting , but it sounded far easier to break down the walls and just trust each other with vulnerability without any games being played at the forefront . " thank you , " he added , once again finding himself appreciating copper more than he could ever know - though this time junior was able to actually begin to voice it .

" honestly ? i'm not picky ; there's nothing i don't eat on a pizza - it's completely your choice , " he assured the other man , being honest in a way that also helped him avoid making a decision - something he wasn't always great at doing , but particularly not now with so much other stuff on his mind . " thank you , " his voice followed copper out of the store , as did his gaze for a moment longer than it perhaps should have . his heart and mind continued to race once copper was gone , and it was incredibly fortunate that the work junior had to do to close out his shift was hardly any that required much thought or energy from him ; he couldn't believe how vastly different the day was from how he had expected it to go , and for what felt like the first time in his life , the surprising differences were so good . before he knew it , and before the reality could even sink in , junior was done with his work and copper was back in his line of sight , making the excitement in his chest and the smile on his face grow to be enormous . " i'm all done here , " he announced .

Things were hard when you were in high school, Copper knew that, but he also knew some people had it worse. And even back then, Copper had hated that, had hated the unfairness. And when it was happening to someone as good and kind as Junior, well, that just infuriated him. In spite of the years that had passed since those days, Copper could still feel himself fuming when he thought about them, and he could especially feel that way now, here with Junior, if he really let himself. But the last thing Copper wanted was sour memories to ruin this surprise reunion. It was easy to put those to the back of his mind when Junior smiled at him though, and Copper found himself smiling back in turn. Honestly Junior was probably exactly the kind of person he needed in his life, someone to make it brighter. "Well good, then it's settled," Copper said. "Time to make up for lost time, right?"

Once Copper had owned up to the flirting, he was glad to see Junior's reaction; Junior was seriously outdoing himself again and again when it came to how adorable he was being. It was nice seeing him flustered like this - flustered for a good reason. But despite what Junior said, Copper did feel like he brought the mood down with his comment, at least for a moment. He moved around the counter even though he figured it probably wasn't allowed, but right now Copper didn't care because what Junior was saying felt important and, well, it made him feel nice. "Just because they're not the worse kind of people doesn't mean they don't suck, you know?" Copper replied, leaning against the counter, so close to Junior that they were almost touching. "I just did what I thought was right." But Copper didn't think that made him a good person, it just made him not an asshole. Junior's words seemed so heartfelt and meaningful, and Copper reached out, grabbing his hand and giving it a little squeeze. "I had no idea it meant that much to you," Copper said softly. He didn't even know what else to say in response because what Junior said meant a lot to him. So Copper just smiled, still holding Junior's hand, giving it another gentle squeeze.

As he listened to Junior, Copper thought he understood where Junior was coming from. "It's not always easy letting people really see you," he said. "It's...kind of scary actually. Like I know it might see like it's easy for me, but...there are a lot of things I don't show other people, not even my family or friends." Copper wasn't going to elaborate on that, not right now at least, maybe not ever. But he did understand how Junior felt. "It's okay," Copper assured the man, chuckling softly. "I think you're doing just fine." For a moment, Copper considered how to proceed, and then he told Junior, "Well now we both know that the other is flirting, so maybe that makes it easier. Maybe we can just talk, no agenda or intentions. I mean, obviously we have intentions, even if that intention is just to talk to each other and reconnect. I just mean maybe we can just do whatever feels right and not overthink it, you know?" Shaking his head, Copper laughed shortly, saying, "I'm probably not making any sense."

Honestly Copper didn't know what he would do if Junior told him he had a long time to go in his shift. He felt such momentum in this interaction, and he wanted to keep it going, though if Copper had to wait, he would. Luckily Junior was almost done, and he smiled brightly at the other man. "Great!" he exclaimed happily. "I'm going to go out and call the pizza place to order the pizza while you finish up. What do you like on your pizza?" He had a couple of quarters jingling around in his pocket for the nearest payphone. "I'll be right back!" Copper hurried out of the store, knowing there was a payphone close, and after ordering from a pizza shop near the mall, he headed back into the comic store. Once he saw Junior there, Copper smiled again, but his heart was racing, just like Junior's was (unbeknownst to him of course). He didn't know what was going to happen, but Copper was excited to spend time with an old friend, especially one who apparently gave him butterflies. It had been awhile since Copper had felt that.

[urdamage]

" i'm always onto something ; i'm a genius , didn't you know ? " jovie was far from an actual genius , but she was someone who was typically filled with good ideas - whether or not they were of any practical use , and whether or not they were ever shared aloud with others . " you're lucky you told me not to answer that , " she teased lovingly , smiling . she listened to zeke's descriptions of the plans he had in mind for the day , and admittedly - though not completely surprisingly , as it wasn't like the pair of siblings didn't get along or something - they sounded pretty good . " your body is a real temple , huh ? " she teased him again , but it was still in the affectionate way that a sister would tease her sibling . " you won't hear me saying this twice , but it sounds like a pretty good day to me , " in other words , jovie was completely in .

" the weaverlympics , " jovie spoke through her laughter , nodding her head , remembering back to those days of their youth . " honestly though , i'm totally in , " even more than she already had been . jovie loved a good time , and while she didn't care for competitiveness in some parts of her life , friendly competition like the weaverlympics were something that she took extremely seriously - as long as they were having fun at the same time , of course . " oh no , that's not how science works , nope , not at all , " she straightened up in her chair as she shook her head . " it's like how you don't let kids drive cars , 'cause their brains and their bodies aren't grown enough to handle it , you know ? " she countered . " you're not gonna win , " she egged him on as she mentally marked the tally as instructed . she reached out for some bacon of her own , risking shoving two pieces into her mouth as their grandmother had her back turned , in a much quieter and subtler way than zeke had initially tried .

zeke's eyes widened as she made the joke about milkshakes, not surprised by it but also a bit intrigued. "morning coffee milkshake? honestly you might be onto something. that sounds delicious." zeke's smile widened when she said she was off of work and he clapped his hands together, bouncing on the edge of her bed in a way that could only be compared to a seal. "hey! when are my ideas ever not good? actually don't answer that but i promise our adventures will include food and me driving you around everywhere. but i really need a fun day in the sun. i have these new shorts i've been wanting to wear and i also feel the hankering for a mountain of fries in my future. also the kid i work with who loves to give me weed gave me some so i figured i'd try it out. you know me, i like to keep this vessel clean." he said and motioned at his body as a joke, "but i do enjoy a good time even more. it's supposed to be some good shit. what do you say? day out with your favorite brother? snacks and fun and maybe some type of sporting activity?"

"it could be, yeah. get you to have as many competitions with me today as possible and see who's the big winner at the end of the day. like weaverlympics," he told her with a grin, referencing a game they had all come up with as kids during the summer. Also as a way for their grandparents to keep them all in one place in the backyard without getting bored. "what does age have to do with it? if anything younger people would be better at it because their systems are still young, yanno? isn't that how science works?" zeke didn't actually know much about science aside from random facts he had picked up but it sounded right as he reached for a literal handful of bacon, about to stuff it into his mouth until his grandmother gave him a look and he put the pieces down on his plate to start with one piece. "okay mark the tally, i already had one."

[urdamage]

after what had happened to him in the summer of '87 , bo knew what it was like to give in to the hermit like tendencies . he wasn't completely shut in - obviously not , as he still worked there at showtime as copper had found him - but particularly in comparison to the old bo who used to have plans almost every night of the week , he was spending an awful lot of time at home . the promise of seeing more of copper was likely a good thing for the both of them ; staying safe was so important , so it wasn't like bo was about to suggest excessive trips to the mall or late night strolls through the woods , but simply getting out a little more to spend time with an old friend was good .

he chuckled at the way copper admitted to not remembering the exact location of the turner cabin , nodding his head because he should have been expecting it . " don't worry , when i come to visit you i'll let you know ; especially up there i find it easy to get all turned around , anyway , so i don't expect you to remember just where it is , " and like copper had thought , bo thought that it made even more sense considering the turner cabin wasn't always a venue with an open invitation to friends . " of course , i'd love to , " considering bo's distance from copper after his attack , he wouldn't have blamed copper for being unsure as to whether or not bo would actually accept an invitation up there , if he had known that he thought as much . to say that bo was relieved to have copper track him down to reconnect was a complete understatement , particularly when the aforementioned distance had never been intentional .

" well the pools in the mall , now , you know ? " technically outside of it , but regardless , connected to it , with the rest of the ammenities inside of it . " so it's hard ... " it would have been genuinely hard for bo to take the time to swim with the aquatic centre being in the mall regardless of whether or not he had been attacked , he thought , so it wasn't completely dishonest to skip parts of his explanation as to why he hadn't been swimming . copper knew him too well , though . his voice was caught in his throat as copper asked him explicitly whether or not he had been attacked ; he cared for copper so deeply , he didn't want to lie to his friend , but no matter who he spoke to - even ian - it was so hard for bo to speak of . the first thing he could do in response was simply look up ; to meet his eye was still hard , but it was a telling look , almost as if he was saying ' yes ' with only his eyes . he allowed copper to stumble through questioning him , not because he wanted his friend to struggle , but only because he couldn't find a way to stop him any sooner . " don't worry , " he finally spoke , " you're not forcing me to do anything , to say anything , it's fine , and i appreciate you , " bo had never been the most articulate or verbally expressive person , but he was trying .

it was gut wrenching and heartbreaking to hear of copper's experience , but god did he resonate with what his friend was saying . he nodded along to copper's words , feeling tears flood his eyes , but he tried with all of his might to keep his composure . " i think i was just lucky , too , " he noted , not wanting to take away from copper's experience that he was sharing , only wanting to let his friend know that he really , honestly did understand the complexity of the trauma - as much as somebody else could . " it also doesn't feel right to say that i'm a fighter ; i couldn't fight , man , i couldn't ... and some of the strongest people - " bo struggled with his thoughts , abandoning them mid sentence rather than telling copper of how pathetically afraid he had been , and rather than telling him of how many strong people they had lost here in shrike heights .

" hey - no , don't , don't even worry about it , " bo quickly shook his head , snapping out of the thick of the terrible thoughts enough to be a little more present and aware . he cleared his throat , as if to reset himself to continue on with their interactions . " i'm still glad to see you , even if things aren't so ... aren't so easy any more , " he smiled weakly . " yeah , yeah , i mean , honestly i could take off now if you'd like , " he offered . since he had been appointed the position of store manager , bo was able to be more flexible than ever at showtime , something that was greatly encouraged by the fact that he had almost lost his life in the store , and something that he had already been comfortable doing before the promotion anyway , due to how many years he had given the video store . " it'll only be taking off a couple minutes early anyway , and i've done all i need , " he further reassured copper .

"Yeah, I don't want to be a hermit up there in that cabin," Copper told Bo, which was mostly true. Sometimes though, he knew he'd want to give in to those tendencies, which was the main reason he'd chosen to rent a cabin by the lake. "You're going to be seeing a lot more of me," Copper promised, not adding his secret thought, if you want to that is. It seemed like their temporary estrangement was all water under the bridge at this point, which was good because Copper definitely needed his friends in his life. After a year of near isolation, it was time to start being a real person again, even if sometimes it felt like the hardest thing in the world. Nodding, Copper told Bo, "It's pretty close, though not like close enough that I can see it. I mean, if I'm remembering correctly where your cabin even is." It hadn't been a big hangout place for Copper and Bo and their friends, though Copper had been there a few times briefly. "You should come sometime. It's got a hot tub." He laughed as he said this, though Copper was wondering if Bo would really want to because he still didn't know what was going on with his friend.

Yes, Copper knew Bo, knew him very well, and it was obvious to him that there was something going on. "I know a lot has been happening," Copper replied, trying to be patient because he could tell that this was difficult for Bo to talk about. "But I mean did something happen to you? Like...why haven't you been swimming?" He didn't want to push, at least not too hard, but Copper couldn't understand how or why Bo was avoiding something he loved so much. He grabbed Bo's hand when he brought it up to chew on his nail, knowing how his friend had worked to break the habit; that wasn't a good sign. After giving Bo's hand a brief squeeze, Copper let go, listening as Bo elaborated a little bit. Although Bo was being pretty vague, Copper was able to put at least some of it together. "Were you attacked?" Copper asked, his voice shaking because fuck, that would be horrible. "Are you okay?" he asked, urgency in his voice, though then Copper shook his head, feeling a little stupid. "Of course you are, at least physically. Otherwise we wouldn't be talking right now," he muttered, more to himself than Bo. For a moment, Copper just looked at Bo, willing him to speak, but then he realized he was being pushy and shook his head again. "Shit, I'm sorry," Copper apologized, and he meant it. "I shouldn't be trying to force you to talk. You don't have to tell me, just...you're one of my best friends, and I'm always gonna be here for you, okay?" Copper had put enough of it together anyway.

Telling Bo about Deacon was even more difficult than Copper had expected, though he felt a bit of a weight lifted when he did. And it was like suddenly Copper wanted to tell Bo everything, as if doing so could help expunge some of his pain; maybe it really could. "I think just knowing that you know how I feel is kind of enough," Copper stated, "though obviously I wish that you didn't." He wanted to ask if Bo had lost someone he loved too, but that was a deeply personal question, plus this wasn't really the time or place. "My new therapist told me think about it in the sense that I'm a fighter, but really I just got lucky," Copper said. "Lucky that someone saw him leaving the house, lucky that I managed to hold on until the ambulance got there, until I got to the hospital. If I say I survived because I'm a fighter, it's like saying Deacon wasn't, and I just can't...I can't do that." His voice was shaking now, so Copper welcomed the hug, resting his face against Bo's shoulder as he hugged him back. Laughing - albeit humorlessly - Copper apologized, "I'm sorry, man. I didn't come here to be all depressing. I just wanted to see my friend." As they pulled away, Copper looked around, grateful it was slow in the shop today apparently. Even so, he asked, "Is your shift almost over? Do you want to go somewhere more...uh, private?"

[urdamage]

✧ bo + ian

One thing Ian has always loved about Bo was how appreciative he was. Bo was already telling him thank you before he even opened anything up and after the candy that was hardly a present at all. It really made Ian wish that he’d been able to do more for Bo this year than he had so that he could receive even more praise from his partner. Still he’d settle for whatever reaction he got from the little present he was giving this year. 

Ian nodded his head when questioned if he made the pencil holder. “Yeah, I made it,” Ian confirmed as he reached over to point at the holes he’d dug through the top of it with. “It’s a pencil holder so you don’t have to set down the colors you’re using and have them roll away,” Ian explained in case Bo didn’t understand that the rainbow actually had a purpose to it more than just home decor to match the rainbow decorations Ian had put up for Bo’s birthday. Ian leaned into the side embrace as his partner praised him for the gift he’d given him. A smile was on his face until he was pulled into the kiss. “I’m glad that you’ve had a good day so far, you deserve it,” Ian told him as he placed a hand on Bo’s bare thigh. “I love you, Bo,” Ian told him as he leaned in for another kiss. This time much slower and sweeter than the thank you kiss he’d just been given. “I didn’t really anticipate us having sex so early today but that’s kind of all I’ve had planned for today,” he admitted with a sheepish little chuckle. “I just figured we could spend the rest of the day together doing whatever you want and maybe ordering some take out for dinner later,” Ian went on. Bo didn’t like to do a lot for his birthday so Ian didn’t plan a lot because of it but he hoped the rest of their day would be enjoyable regardless. 

                “ you are so fucking incredible , ” bo praised his partner . to say that he was in disbelief wasn’t particularly correct , as bo had always known how incredible ian was , but it was still a jarringly intense feeling he felt when experiencing it ; ian was amazing , and no matter how amazing he was so frequently with bo as the recipient , bo would never get used to it . “ this is so smart , baby , i already know that i’m gonna be using this all the damn time , this is so great , ” bo was so genuine in his words , something that could be heard in his tone and seen on his face as he spoke so enthusiastically and happily about his birthday present . “ thank you so much , gorgeous , ” he told him again . “ i’ve had such a great day , ” he confirmed with a nod , feeling even happier knowing that ian was glad that the day had gone well so far , too - bo knowing the situation well enough to understand why ian might have been desperately hoping for this day to go well , a result that could have easily been unobtainable after all the couple had been through . “ i love you so much , ian , ” his tone was even thicker with sincerity that time around , just as the kiss he reciprocated was . bo’s heart felt so full of joy - a feeling usually foreign to him on his birthday of all days - as they pulled away from each other , from kissing . “ sorry , ” bo began with a small laugh . “ i got a bit excited , huh ? ” he laughed , not having had expected the sex to happen so early in the day either , but having been unable to stop himself from initiating it . “ that sounds like the most perfect way to spend the day , sweet boy , ” bo nodded his head , a sweet little smile on his face . he hated to speak about why he felt so against celebrating his own birthday - hating to even properly process it all for himself - but he loved that ian knew exactly what he would want , and what he could handle on the day . he loved so much about ian ; he loved ian .  “ thank you , my love . ”

[urdamage]

admittedly , noah's promise of ' anything for you ' hit different , striking a chord in jupiter's heart in the very best way , and doing so for a reason that jupiter couldn't quite make sense of initially . despite the lack of explanation at first , he quickly found himself able to figure that the feelings earned from such words were only so intense because he knew noah was genuine in his intent . noah meant what he said ; noah always did . “ if i wasn’t already excited to see myself as an old man , to see where my life ends up , i certainly am now , ” jupiter told his companion , words filled with affection . he knew that anything could happen to throw his life off course before he reached an age where his teeth and hair were missing , particularly with the presence of the killers in their town , but no matter what would end up transpiring , jupiter found great happiness in allowing himself to imagine the future . 

jupiter loved making noah blush , he truly did , almost as much as he loved making noah’s heart melt ; the comfort shared between them was mutual , and it played a big part in the ease that jupiter felt speaking up or acting out in order to evoke such a charming and endearing response from the other man . the comfort felt was also displayed in jupiter’s physical affection ; to reach out and lay an arm around his shoulder , or to take his hand , or to sit so close that their thighs touched , it all came so naturally and happened so comfortably for jupiter with noah . he had always been an affectionate person , but with noah the comfort made it a no brainer to share his affection with the other , and noah’s endearing personality made the affection something that jupiter not only enjoyed and did without thought , but something that jupiter desired , too . he felt the peace and the comfort as noah did , and at the same time , he also felt the excitement and the pride - though he made no effort in analysing exactly why he might have felt those feelings in the presence of noah and noah exclusively . 

“ you flatter me , you absolutely flatter me , ” jupiter shook his head , the grin on his face as large as life . “ thank you , ” he was sure to add ; while jupiter had received positive attention before , he wasn’t the most familiar or experienced with it , and even if he had been , he was still a polite enough person to have wanted to thank noah for his sweetness no matter what . “ it really is a dream of mine , it would be incredible to see it come true one day , ” he felt a little silly for feeling so vulnerable to be sharing his aspirations with noah , but with noah he felt that he could really open up about those sorts of things . his laughter filled the quiet night air around them as noah suggested he go by one simple name , much like prince or madonna . “ as much as i love the fact that you think i’m special enough to join them in their one name club , i’m afraid the names jupiter and january - ” his middle name “ - are already spoken for up there in space , ” he countered . “ an alias isn’t a bad idea , though , ” he settled , before then settling into silence for a moment as he thought about all of the possibilities - not only for his name , but for the things waiting out there for him to discover . “ making contact with aliens would really be something , huh ? ” he proposed .

to speak to noah felt right , to ramble away to one of very few people who welcomed the rambling felt good , and to slowly lean in to noah - following his lead , and his movements - felt instinctual and natural . their lips touched , silencing jupiter from any further scatter-brained thoughts , and while an excited nervousness grew in his stomach , shortly after spreading through his entire body , that comfort was still there . it was in that moment that jupiter could finally make sense of the feeling that he had always felt so deeply around noah ; that comfort wasn’t only contentedness , and a pleasing trust in his friend , but it was a kind of love that he was experiencing . it all clicked there for jupiter , sitting there on the porch with his dearest , with noah , and after a small moment of the older man registering everything briefly while thoroughly , he finally reached up with the hand that wasn’t in noah’s , cupping his soft cheek and moving his lips in a slow rhythm , kissing noah under the light of the shining stars , just as he hoped for , and just as it felt to jupiter was meant to be . 

Noah's heart did little flips in his chest when Jupiter said he could count on him. "You're welcome, anything for you. I'll make sure my dentures don't fly off," he joked with a little laugh. He'd worked hard for the past few years of his life to become someone that could say he was dependable, but hearing it from Jupiter was different. There was a little sense of pride and happiness in Noah that came with knowing Jupiter saw that kind of future with them, even if it was just idle fancy.

When Jupiter said he liked making Noah's heart melt, Noah bit his lower lip and smiled. He wasn't someone who blushed easily, or felt shy usually, but Jupiter was quite good at gently pushing past the ice walls Noah had built around his heart over time and melting them away time and again to reveal the tender parts of it that wanted to be perceived, and loved. Noah would have been scared any other time, but Jupiter didn't trigger that flight response. Quite the opposite, in fact, Noah felt comfortable and craved the presence of this sweet man who showed him that the stars could shine just for them if they knew where to look. Noah would never forget the constellations they created on Jupiter's ceiling together for as long as he lived.

He settled into Jupiter's side comfortably, fingers lacing together as his heart beat a little faster. He couldn't deny that despite the peace and calm, there was excitement, too. Part of Noah wondered if they would've been this close had they not experienced the trauma they had together. But Noah was sure that it had only expedited their closeness. The killers tried to take something away from them, but that was foiled by how strong the bond became between the two. Noah took pride in that, and the killers could eat his shorts. His smile grew when Jupiter said he just wanted to discover something.

"With a mind like yours, I know you'll discover things no one ever has. You'll catch something someone missed, or notice something no one ever has. You just wait and see, I'm phoning it in now," Noah said. He laughed quietly when Jupiter lamented Bernstein being the only name he could give any of his discoveries, and he shook his head. "You could be known professionally as just Jupiter. Kind of like Prince, or Madonna. Or if you have a middle name, you could combine the two. Or go by an alias," he suggested with that big smile of his. "Something special that there won't be any confusion about whether it was you or your parents. Everyone will know it was you who solved a big mystery, or first made contact with aliens, or found the secret control panel inside the pyramids that reveal they're ancient space ships, or shifted your telescope just so to find a whole new planet out there," he said, fully confident that one day, Jupiter would find an actual real discovery of some kind. He didn't count the fact that Jupiter had been the only person to crack the code to really get to his heart.

Noah felt Jupiter shift slightly and look at him, and naturally his own gaze moved away from the night sky to the handsome man beside him looking at him like he was the sun. He was listening to every word Jupiter said about the moon's position relative to the earth, and how every year it moved just a little further. But as he rambled on in that endearing way that he did about the conversion of units, about how the moon would drift away, Noah found himself looking at Jupiter's lips. It sparked a little courage, and he found himself drawing closer to the other, like a tide moved by the gravitational pull of the moon. He couldn't hold in the immense weight of his feelings at bay anymore, not that night with as beautiful as it was and as wonderful as the man beside him was. Noah closed his eyes and went for it, hoping to kiss Jupiter under the light of the stars.

[urdamage]

hen wen couldn’t help but to chuckle at paulie’s words . it just made so much sense to them , he painted a picture so accurate to what they thought of him ; the thought of him speaking to such a little amount of people - having such little interaction with others - and somehow still putting his foot in his mouth was amusing due to how true to character it felt . even so , however , hen wen didn’t think that the issue was paulie himself . “ this town fucking sucks , man , ” they began , shaking their head half disapprovingly , half exhasperated . “ the thing i hate the most about it is not being able to leave right now , ” for reasons she’d likely never get in to , “ but at a close second it’s the people , and how they’re dealing with everything that’s happening , ” she sighed . “ obviously i don’t mean to say that people aren’t dealing with their trauma correctly , a lot of victims definitely are , but overall … and especially when you think of those in charge , or in positions of power , or at least close to power - man ; they fucking suck , it blows . ”

paulie is reminded by hen wen's words why the two of them click as well as they do; while he still has no desire to be any closer to them than he gets with anyone else, hen wen is real and relatable in ways that paulie doesn't find in people very often. it's refreshing to listen to her talk so honestly, and about such a difficult topic, too; paulie often finds himself worried to speak nowadays, knowing how easily people are sensitive to what he might say - which is completely valid, given some of these people's history and the experiences that they've had. to have somebody who won't be scared off by any of paulie's thoughts being expressed helps to ease the easily tense man enormosly. "i don't know if i've met anyone else in shrike with that mentality, even though it makes the most sense to me," he tells them. "i've put my foot in my own mouth more than once, and i really don't even talk to that many people," he chuckled half heartedly. "i don't know how to not be real."