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internalized
do ever see white girls so beautiful it makes you hurt inside? the cream and peach of their skin, the blue of their eyes, the gentle fall of their light hair -- those are things i can never have, can never be.
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denying the heart's desire
you're sitting so far away move closer, i gently say but all you do is just shrug not like you ever need a hug
and how can i create intimacy with someone who is so deperately trying to get away from me? you have your independency.
don't pull away from my touch it's yours that i need too fucking much and could there ever have been such a burning need within like a crutch
i'm open so take what you will not like i need but for the thrill and patiently waiting i sit still biding my time; a dog bade heel
after attempts to show vulnerable cuts i would tell you: catch all my tears in a cup but the likelihood is you'd just say, "sorry what?" and i'll still be here, stuck in my rut
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so quickly set free
it's really a memory i'm searching for but it's still true, this yearning downpour i'm spinning full of ghosts and old things spinning the loom that plays like a machine behind my eyes over and over again tattered now but i used to hold them
i liked how i looked when i was with you change is something i never pursued warm hands clasped around my hand my throat my home my heart my land it comes quick now the light in my eye and so does change but with a sigh
i keep trying to look at you just the same as i used to do a glance sideways in time only serves to break the bind but you're not the same old sadly something new unfolds
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without
my heart is split open your nimble fingers invade it crack it open
very much the same way you used to invade me and crack me open
now i am much too lonely without your lovely fingers prying me open
what's funny is just how very painful it is but how very much i want it anyway
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otra cosa
and the way you make me burn up under my skin every second longer that i'm with you and not touching you. touch me touch me.
and when you do it is so glorious and hot and like a whirlwind and no matter how long you are longingly fucking me, it is never long enough.
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avoid the avalanche
how can i how can i keep my heart to myself when i feel like this can't kiss you can't kiss you i say to myself as you are leaning in towards me it is hard to lock down this flighty creature in my chest it is so hard to remember why when you are looking your best all freshly fucked by me i want to leave bruises blossoming on your flesh just the way you've marked me i asked you not to and now you are biting into a ripe piece of fruit with all the juice dripping down your chin you couldn't have known what it meant to be under my skin then again i'm never as good at hiding things i think i should
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no llora
i whisper in a shell not to give it a secret but as a place to put my comfort for you to press between your lips and quiet your mind
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hermosa caldera y manga de viento
He falls upon me like a whirlwind, like a man starved, like a howling storm. And I am afraid: of being swept out to sea, of having my soul sucked out, of getting my heart all gobbled up! It always happens with me. I will let you climb into me and then all of a sudden I will be trying to hollow a spot out to climb into inside of you.
And each time, I have been caught in his spell, feeling that I cannot break from it until it is long past. Such lingering kisses that leave my mouth red and delightfully sore. Biting, surprising kisses and long smoldering looks.
This time I caught his jaw, making him kiss me just as I pleased when I pleased. When he was just about to slide inside me, I caught his hips roughly between my thighs and held him tightly, not allowing him to move forward. He asked first, then begged. I took his jaw in my hand again and said, "Kiss me soft and slow, then."
I asked him what he was and he said, "A creative." He asked me and I lied at first, saying, "Wild." He questioned about it and then I said, "What I wanted to say was wolf." It is an easy enough answer if you grew up the way that I did. Perhaps the easiest answer.
I like him and it is a shame that I need to feast upon mens' hearts, picking at them like a pomegranate and eating the juicy red seeds slowly and savoring each delicious treat. I have dreams of conquering him slowly, but I am trying to tell my wolf to be silent.
I want to let this unfold with you, naturally.
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too terrible tonight
I will miss your strong broad shoulders and the way your fingers would brush against the nape of my neck. Your fingers threaded through my hair and your head laying in my lap. The slightest touch of your hand on my shoulder and I was turning golden, warming like you were a lovely fire keeping me calm and warm. I will miss putting my chin and cheek into your hand and swooning, bending myself to you. The bite of your hardest kiss and the whisper of your sweetest goodnight.
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the beginning
He was kissing me and I was burning up. I could feel myself not knowing how to respond and then all of sudden responding back so hard it nearly hurt.
Our kisses and touches were so quick and fast and terribly hot. His hands were sliding all over my body. I pushed him away before we both burned up completely.
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bad dream
you wouldn't sit next to me on the love seat in my momo's old trailer, but i gave you my teasing smile. you sat down and with your index finger touched the center of my chest.
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too slowly
I am crumbling into the sea. please please devour me they think i've done a terrible thing but i tried time and time again to hold out my lonely little hand but you would not oh you could not while i watched a spider climb up the wall but i'm the bad one
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how you might miss me if you could
I miss your long black hair and your tempting pink mouth. The way you slide your hand into mine and the way your mouth lingers on mine when we break from our kisses. The feel of your soft silken limbs wrapped around me. How your lashes lay against your sweet cheek as you sleep and when you bite my ear teasingly. You nestled up warmly in the crook of my arm and our arms wrapped around each others bodies.
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small dream
My hair was light like cotton candy, but every time I came out of the bathroom it turned black.
You slid pieces of it through your fingers.
It was dark and I was reaching for you.
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